steals
like dawn--but unknown to him--her mate, too, had wanderlust. and despite the chilly night, he, too, was wandering, mulling a trip outside the plateau. but he always let dawn know if he was going anywhere, and she was nowhere to be found, near the rendezvous.
ever since engel had been banished, he had been weighed down by a mix of emotions. he felt it perverse to grieve for the loss of a friend that had turned out to be a cad, but he grieved, nonetheless. he was ashamed that he had not been firmer about quelling the man's big mouth. and he felt unsure. . .he did not know if what, but a cloud of uncertainty hung round his head like a dark halo, tugging at his every thought.
giving himself a shake and a stretch, aditya set out with measured steps, not too hurried, not too lackadaisical. he shivered as the wind cut through his thin pelt, but carried on, admiring how bright the sky was tonight. so many stars! their beauty gave him a small measure of joy, an amount that grew as he caught sight of dawn in the near distance.
barking softly to let her know he was coming, he broke into a slow lope and stopped just a few paces short of crashing headlong into her, instead pulling himself into her closely, laying his head over her shoulders. he said nothing for a long moment, just silently breathing in her scent.
"can't sleep?" he murmured at last, eyes closed in bliss.
he felt her pull slightly away, her voice responding in the negative, and his heart sank for an instant, believing her to be troubled over engel. he had hoped his friendship with the man, and his subsequent removal, would not tarnish his relationship with his mate. perhaps it had.
before he could ask what was wrong, she spoke, and her words fell on confused ears. aditya looked down upon her, mouth quirking in puzzlement. "what? no--" his rebuttal was cut off by dawn speaking further, elaborating, somewhat, on her rambling. still, he was lost.
"holding me back? dawn, what are you getting--" he paused mid-sentence, realization blooming over his features as her words sunk in. she was talking about pups. completely taken aback, aditya shook his head in an emphatic 'no.'
"my god, dawn, you're worried about letting me down?"
the look on her face held the weight of a thousand boulders; he was crushed under it, swept beneath in a torrent of sudden emotion. to think she felt so strongly on his account was almost more than he could bear.
"dawn, mera jaan," aditya murmured, looking deep into her eyes. "you have given me everything. a home, a family. . .love. and a chance to leave a legacy," he added, smiling.
"i am older than you, but i'm not old yet," he continued. "there's time enough yet for children. i've managed to wait this long."
would it sting to see grayday's eyes light with the joy of a new litter, to see catori swell with pregnancy? to know that his mate suffered for lack of children? of course, but it would only be a few seasons. . .and they would have joy enough of their own. he could wait. they could wait.
"no buts," he said warmly, resting his head atop hers. "i love you, too." they stood in silence for a long moment, the two of them thinking their own independent thoughts while the beats of their hearts synced, pulsing contentedly in their chests.
"i've tried to have children twice before," aditya murmured. "both tries didn't take. i've wondered, you know, if it's a problem with me." he pulled back, looking at his mate. "i worry about it. about not being able to give you children, ever."
he shook his head. "but hariji didn't think i was ready, i suppose. you know what they say--'third time's the charm?' i swear to you, dawn, i will give you children. we will have children."
children they would not abandon, either, contrary to three of their four parents.
i'm happy. well, and so was he. he didn't say it explicitly, but he knew it shone on his face like the sun.
she expressed her desire to hunt, and he nodded enthusiastically, spanking the ground once with his front paws in giddy anticipation. "of course," aditya said, smiling. "lead the way, o leader," he added teasingly, wagging his tail.