Anyone? Maybe someone who he's had less threads with like
@Dawn or
@Pema. Maybe
@Aditya?
It had been one full day that Sunny bore the absence of his father. One full day that the grief so strong and pungent at first had somehow burned out and left him cold and empty. Now he wandered around the territory's edges absently, without sleep, eyes burning from many shed tears and throat raw from when he'd snuck away to cry alone. He wanted, no
needed to be like Dawn and Shale right now. He needed to hold it together and mourn on the inside because he had other things to focus on, duties to carry out. Catori needed someone there for her and the pups and while he was sure the whole of the pack would provide comfort and aid, he wanted to do so. The pack still needed hunting, food, patrolling and he would carry on doing so even if the others took a short respite. He would do for others even when he was broken, just as his father had his whole life.
Memories plagued him. The first hunt where his dad had given him a taste for birds. The adventure where he'd met Aunt Seelie the first time and caught a mouse. Then came the horrible ones, making Dawn angry, Running from Morningside, his dad's disappointment. His eyes stung again with the beginning of tears but he held them in and swallowed them down.
OOC: Pema will have given Sunny permission to bring news to the allied packs. But Shale will have denied his request to burry him. Just wanted to make those two things clear if they come up at all.
She had given herself some room to breathe. She had asked Adi and Dawn to help her keep the pack together during this time and for the early stages of her motherhood. She knew that she could probably do it, but the stress of suddenly taking on all of the responsibilities of a pack, she feared, would be too much stress on her unborn children.
But now that she had room to breathe that space was filled with grief. She hoped that Day was looking upon her with fondness. That he was seeing what she was doing was right, rather than cowardice. Even though she was a leader with Day she found herself often asking for his opinions on many things. She would have to find it within herself now to know if she was going in the right direction.
She found herself walking the day after Day's death. It gave her something to do rather than dwell in her den. Walking was also a way for her to reduce stress and help her in her pregnancy. It gave her time to think, time to feel.
Tears slowly streamed down her face. She found herself smiling, thinking back to all the good memories that she had had with Day. He knew that this was an inevitability and spoke about it from time to time, but it still seemed like he was still here.
On her walk, she saw Sunny come into view. She walked up beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. Unsure of what words to start out with. The typical How are you didn't seem right.
As Pema appeared, looking just as torn apart as everyone else did he held still only moving to press his muzzle against the side of her neck and embrace her as well. He had no idea what to say, he didn't know if he could speak without breaking apart like a piece of old rotten wood. "It was so...sudden. Just...out of nowhere. Nobody was prepared. Is that normal? One second someone you love is here and then the next they're gone?" he asked her, trusting that she was someone he could trust with his more emotional and sensitive musings. He didn't feel the need to keep everything in and be strong around Pema, but he wouldn't cry again right now. He felt far too numb for that.
It was nice that he returned her affectionate touch. She had expected him to not move at all, or maybe even move away. Not everyone was so accepting of condolences. She listened to what he had to say nodding along as he spoke. She wouldn't know any better than him. Sometimes it was hard to believe that the two were very similar in age. Pema hadn't experienced much death in her birth pack, but Morningside was her home and where all of her family was. So knowing that Day was gone was like knowing that a father of hers had passed.
"I know what you mean... Even though he would talk about his old age, and what it would be like without him now and them... it never seemed like an actual possibility," she said empathetically. "Sometimes I think that he's still here. Like what happened the other day was just a sick dream. But then reality hits." he explained. Maybe he would always be here, just differently.
He nodded somberly at her reply "I mean...I knew everyone dies. I almost did myself. I just...it really never sank in that he was getting there. His eyesight was bad, he limped every now and then, but he was also...he had this energy. He just had babies, he found happiness with Catori...and he seemed so alive. Then he just falls asleep and...he's gone" he looked distressed at this. Maybe this was why it was hitting him so hard. His dad never seemed as old as he was, he never hinted at the fact that he would go sooner than anyone seemed to expect. He lived each day with energy and exuberance like Sunny and Dawn and everyone else did too.
"I went to go ask him something a while ago. It didn't sink in again until i had already began to walk toward his den." he understood what she meant, he often still had those thoughts. "Maybe dad will know, I'll go ask" or "Dad should know about this" and he'd go to tell him or he'd lift his head to summon him and remember just short of howling that he wouldn't respond. "He is still here though...in a way. We'll always remember him. Kitten,Eventide and River will grow up being told of their father. Cat said to me that's basically another way of keeping them with us" he mused, remembering how Catori comforted him when he found out about Keoni.
She slowly nodded along to everything he said. Finding that she had thought the same thing at one time or another. But the things that really stuck with her was what he said at the end. Even though it is possible that Day's newest litter wouldn't remember her person, they would no doubt be told of him, over and over throughout their lives.
"Your right. I'm not sure if it's even possible for one of us to go a day without mentioning him. He meant so much to everyone in this pack. He was apart of so many lives. I think he will stay with us for generations to come." she said openly as well as to herself.
She went a step further and said he would be remembered for generations and Sunny's ears perked, giving a slow sway of his tail. "There won't ever be a day when he won't be known. As long as Morningside stands, he'll be alive. He founded this place, he gave us a home. I'll make sure it's remembered." he vowed. He would tell stories to his future children, He would tell stories to his future nieces and nephews and he would join in telling stories of his father to his newest siblings.
She looked to him with a gentle smile. "I know you will... We all will." she said modestly. It was nice to think that Grayday would always be with them in one-way shape or form. But it was also important to not dwell on him either. Remembering was different than refusing to move on. The pack would be different now and that was something everyone would have to learn and accept sooner rather than later. "But don't forget to do other things as well. He would want us to move on... in time." she remarked caringly.