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Hushed Willows This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Printable Version

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This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - September 13, 2016

Getting Octavia back to the Keep was a goal of his - though he'd told himself, and others, that his priority was the children of the Ostregas. He had focused on getting them home and his trips had been less about Octavia and more about just getting away and it had blurred into a mess. Stark had to stop several times either because of exhaustion or emotion but the Alpha had made slow progress as he carried Octavia home. 

This wasn't what he'd intended when he had wanted to bring her back to her pack. Back to her son. Stark swallowed back a sound before it happened again and he started to lose it. It had taken him two days of slow progress to bring her back to the packlands where they'd first met. He wanted to bury her by the stream where they'd first met - and maybe she would have found some peace with that.

He hoped firstly that he didn't find Tambourine - he needed to consider what to do. With everything that had happened he wasn't sure what he needed to do or what he had to do. Just beyond the pack's borders the Alpha collapsed for a moment, falling to the ground as awkwardly as he could while trying to maintain some sort of dignity for Octavia. 

He was quaking as he looked at her, emotions so overrun he did the only thing that made any sense to him and lifted his head, calling for @Banner



RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Banner - September 14, 2016

Two days he'd been gone.  It struck her as odd, though Banner didn't question it.  Hell, Stark never gave her grief when she wandered away from the willow trees in search of adventure or whatever it was she did with her free time.  Ah, free time.  That was in short supply for the Beta these days, though she couldn't say she was upset about it.  Marauder's Keep was full to the brim with adults and puppies alike.  It was a controlled chaos and she rather enjoyed everyone bustling around.  There were still issues, sure, but she and Stark could tackle them together.

Right?

His howl reached her ears and she was off a second later.  He wasn't far - just inside the borders, if she wasn't mistaken - and so it didn't take the dark chocolate female long to reach him.  What caught her off guard was the state Stark was in.  Collapsed?  With.. what looked like a wolf at his side, though it was awfully mangled.  She didn't spare another look.  Her brother was the important one.  Rushing over to him, the Beta slowed to a stop at his side and began to fret over him like a mother would her young child.  Stark!  What.. are you okay? she asked, her voice borderline hysterical.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - September 14, 2016

Stark kept looking over at Octavia, and every since time a fresh wave of emotion welled up in him. If not for how long it took him to bring her home he might have been there and been further into the grieving process but there was a special sort of hell carrying a loved one home to bury. Stark didn't have to wait very long for Banner to come to his aide, his eyes wide as he looked up at his sister before he looked back to Octavia's corpse and his mouth opened and snapped close dumbly. 

He wasn't sure what to do - what to say, and finally he pushed himself up on trembling legs. "Banner," Stark pushed himself against her, burying his face into her plush coat. "I... She.. Fuck, she died r-right next to me,"  Stark stammered out, his entire body trembling as he admitted it. It was the first time he had said it, no matter how much he had thought it or been faced with the facts. 



RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Banner - September 15, 2016

She?  Banner shouldered the added weight of Stark's exhausted body with ease while he found comfort in her embrace.  Each tremble from him disturbed her more than the last - he'd never been anything but steady and confident.  She died?  It took a second, but realization dawned on the Beta then.  Her breathing stopped and she could swear her heart stuttered.  Slowly, ever so slowly, her bright green eyes focused on the wolf beside them.  The one who looked mangled beyond any hope of repair.

.. Octavia? she whispered, her voice torn between that of horror and surprise.  She didn't move, though.  She didn't want to.  Stark needed her here, in this way, right now.  Banner stood, steadfastly supporting Stark in his uncharacteristic moment of weakness.  Oh, but this was just too.. She bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep her thoughts grounded.  What can I do? she asked in low, soothing tones.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - September 15, 2016

Everything stood still. Except for right then, Stark, of course, and he was quaking and quivering like a puppy who'd fallen into a river. Maybe one time it might have been York holding him instead of Banner, soothing out his fears and his worries and his aches. He wasn't going to be so easy to coddle but Banner was still there and she was still supporting him and at that moment Stark couldn't consider anything more in the world that he could want. 

"I've...Tambourine needs to know." Stark said weakly, finally pulling back from Banner's pelt to look into her green eyes. "Will you stay with m-me?" He asked softly. He was hopeful that maybe with Banner at his side he could call Tambourine and maybe they'd be able to face this all together. Still Octavia lay on her side where he'd fallen, where she'd slid from his back, and Stark wanted to correct where she was lying, he wanted to make her look more peaceful, more dignified.

He was too weak to move though, other than burying his face in Banner's pelt again. 



RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Banner - September 18, 2016

Always, she answered without hesitation.  Because she would always do anything he needed.  Banner loved her brother something fierce and she'd be damned if she started to deny him now.  His blue eyes were so full of sorrow and what looked to her like hopelessness, which was something she'd never before seen in Stark's eyes.  Heart clenching, she nodded to affirm her position, just in case he needed the extra acknowledgement outside of her words.

The Beta swallowed hard.  She just couldn't bring herself to look at what was left of Octavia.  That wolf there on the ground in a lifeless heap was not how she wished to remember her former Alpha female.  Truthfully she'd only known the woman a short while before illness took her into its clutches - Banner did not share the closeness to her that Stark and Tambourine had.  But when Stark buried himself in her thick fur again, she knew what needed to be asked.  What do you need me to do before you call him?  Her voice was still low, still soft and gentle and everything she knew she had to be for him.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - September 18, 2016

Banner's voice was soothing and Stark didn't feel nearly as weak leaning on her now. This was Banner. His sister would take care of him, she would help him, and he knew that he was safe in her embrace. She wouldn't judge him or the situation, she would somehow know just what he needed to help him survive. And right then, all that seemed was possible was survival. He couldn't overcome this or thrive in that environment. Stark would crumble, but, Banner would be there to help him step it up and get through everything. When Banner asked what they needed to do Stark pulled away, looking fretfully towards Octavia's still form. "Make...make her presentable." He said softly. 

He moved over to Octavia's body, slow and quiet and as respectfully as he could be of her body. He eased her from her limp position at her side and to her stomach, nuzzling her head until it was resting between her paws. She was still a mess, but, he had cleaned her face up already. She wasn't the vibrant one that she was once and Stark couldn't help that. He looked over at Banner, trying to see approval in her face - wondering if this was enough before finally the grieving Alpha lifted his head and called for @Tambourine

"This is going to be so hard.." He murmured softly, weakly. 



RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Tambourine - September 19, 2016

Tambourine no longer actively missed his mother, nor looked for her. Truthfully, he could hardly remember what she looked like or how her voice sounded anymore. Her scent was nothing more than a vague sense memory. That was the blessing and curse of youth. Stark was his parent now, in all the ways that really counted. The pup wasn't even aware of the brokenness of his own family. He was happy with his life in the Keep.

Stark's wavering howl caught the boy in the middle of a snack. He looked up from the half-finished rabbit, licked his chops, then pushed the food aside and jumped to his feet. He loped swiftly to heed the Alpha's call, always happy to see him. Halfway there, it occurred to him that he might be in trouble. He paused for a few beats, running through a list of his recent activities, and decided there was nothing particularly terrible in there. He'd gotten sick a few days ago and pooped in the den but he had been assured it was an accident and that he wasn't in trouble.

"Stark!" the youngster shouted as soon as he caught sight of the leader. "Banner!" he added, a smile in his voice when he saw the Beta was there too. Then his eyes dropped to something at their feet and he blurted, "What's that?" He moved closer, neck craning out to sniff, only to pull back a little at the vaguely familiar smell drenched in the scent of death. Tambourine's nose wrinkled but he kept staring, fascinated by what was obviously the dead body of a wolf. It looked so weird—strange enough that the boy had no idea he was looking at his own mother's corpse.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Banner - September 19, 2016

Presentable.  Right.  The short Beta nodded and waited until Stark moved from her embrace before she side stepped to Octavia's body.  He seemed to know exactly what to do, how to nudge her this way and that to make her positioning seem almost normal.  Banner held back a cringe while she studied the body.  There were trully no words to describle the condition the former Alpha's body was in.  Clearly it the end of her life had been a long and excruciating ordeal and for once she was glad that Stark wasn't there with her to witness that slow decline.  It was.. for the best.

Hopefully, anyway.  He'd shoulder much of the blame, that she knew because he was Stark and that was how he operated.  She bent down to smooth some of the fur around Octavia's neck and shoulders.  Apparenty he'd already taken care of her face.  Her bright green gaze shifted to his face and then back to her task while they worked for a few hurried moments.  If they took too long he'd never call Tambourine and this was something that had to be done.

Banner gave him what she hoped was an approving nod, though she couldn't help the grim expression on her dark brown face.  She put a few steps of distance between herself and the deceased as she wasn't entirely sure what the social proptocal around this kind of thing was.  The kid might want space but.. well, as the boy in question approached with a cheerful greeting, she remembered that Tambourine was no normal kid.  Not knowing how to answer his question, she looked to Stark then, wondering if he should be the one to deliver the news.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - September 19, 2016

This was the only time he'd ever been unhappy to call Tambourine. The boy was always enthusiastic, eager for life and he had a spark that Stark envied. This however, was not going to be a happy call, and the male felt his blood chill. He looked to Banner for some sort of guidance, watching as she was just as delicate with Octavia as Stark had been. It was a kind gesture, one certainly done for his benefit as Banner never really had the chance to know Octavia. 

He took a seat but quickly stood again as he spotted the growing boy approaching. He came forward, nuzzling against him for a moment before he took an unsteady step out of the way to watch how Tambourine regarded the body of his mother. "Tam," He murmured softly, his blue eyes meeting Banner's green for a moment before flickering back uneasily to the young boy. "I'm sorry.....I didn't find your mom fast enough." He said weakly. 

"She...she didn't hurt, Tambourine." Stark promised earnestly, trying to blink back the emotions and be strong for the boy's sake. "She was peaceful when she passed away."



RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Tambourine - September 20, 2016

Tambourine easily returned Stark's nuzzle, though there was a bit of a puzzled look on his face as he glanced between the Alpha, the Beta and the dead body. Had they killed a trespasser or something? But there was definitely something wrong, atmospherically speaking; he could feel the sadness in the air and could read it in their body language. Was this dead wolf a friend of theirs then? And why had they called him? He peered closely at the body again, frowning thoughtfully, then looked up at Stark when he began to talk about the boy's mother.

For several beats, Tambourine just didn't make the connection between what his mentor was saying and the slumped form on the ground. When realization struck, his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened slightly. He squinted at the corpse's face, trying to see his mother in there. He couldn't, no matter how hard he tried. His memories of his mother were fuzzy at best and there was simply nothing familiar about the decrepit remains. This was just an empty shell, lacking whatever had identified it as Tavi.

But even if it didn't look like her, Tambourine knew Stark wouldn't lie to him. "This is my mum?" the pup asked softly, just seeking clarification. He did experience a pang as his young mind began to grasp the finality of it. "She's dead?" Perhaps that was a stupid question but he was doing his best to piece the story together and make sense of it. He felt a flicker of sadness in his chest but his voice was more curious than miserable as he queried, "Why?"


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Banner - September 20, 2016

Shifting her weight between both front paws, Banner couldn't help but feel terribly out of place for this intimate scene.  She hadn't been close to Octavia and didn't have the same sort of relationship with Tambourine that her brother had.  So silent and (relatively) still she would remain.  The pain in Stark's voice caused her ears to slick back against her skull and her dark brown shoulders to slump just a bit.  She didn't dare interrupt him while he was offering up a brief explaination.

For his part, Tambourine didn't seem as upset as she'd imagined.  He was more curious.  Pragmatic, even.  Blinking back her surprise, Banner nodded.  She was ill.  Her words were delivered simply, though she made the effort to not sound condescending.  He deserved the truth and that was about as far as she knew.  In her mind specifics weren't important, though perhaps the boy thought differently.  Again, she looked to Stark to see if he had any important details to add.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - September 20, 2016

Stark might have offered a sad smile if he could have mustered any other level of emotion but it was hard for him to process things right then. Watching Tambourine investigate his mother's body; to be unable to tell her apart from anyone he might have drug to the pack, was hard. He looked to Banner and was grateful for her presence as ever, the dark Beta offering a response that saved Stark from an immediate need to supply an answer to a question like why

Why was subjective. It could have been why did she die, or why did she die, or just why when to a child who had already faced so much could there not be a happy ending? The Alpha reached over to gently nudge his sister, sighing quietly before he stepped closer to Tambourine. He didn't sit down, wanting to be available if the boy wanted to be held - understandably - or if he wanted to get away. Nothing would surprise him in that either. He would have gone after Tambourine if that was the case, but for then, he just waited with both the wolves he cared the most for. "We're here for you." He said softly, "We love you." He reminded him quietly. 

Stark nervously looked at Banner, unsure if now was really the time or the place but it might have done the young boy some good to know he wasn't the first - he wouldn't be the last either - to lose their mother. "It was...it was really hard, when my mom died. If it wasn't for Banner I might have never made it." He admitted. 



RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Tambourine - September 21, 2016

The adults did their best to answer. Meanwhile, Tambourine couldn't stop staring at Tavi's still, sunken face. He tried to picture her alive in his mind but was having difficulty. He remembered her vaguely. He remembered loving her, very much. But then she had gone and the boy had missed her but never very seriously. Then again, he hadn't realized she would never, ever come back... or that she'd come back dead, rather. Which was pretty much the same difference. Even he understood what dead meant, even if his young brain did have trouble fully grasping the utter finality of it.

"Love you too," he replied easily to Stark, then blinked a few times when he shared the news about his own mother's death. A weird smile twitched the corners of his mouth at the sense of bittersweet camaraderie. Then it fell as he pondered Stark's next words. He'd had a hard time and might not have made it if not for Banner. Tambourine looked over at her, then back to Stark, not quite processing that in full. He definitely felt sadness about Tavi but they'd said she hadn't been hurt and that she was at peace.

He shrugged awkwardly, rolling his lean, bony shoulders as he searched for something to say. He could feel the pair's sadness like a tangible thing but it just didn't go that deep for him. With that said, he was still quite curious about the circumstances and even the logistics. "Is it like sleeping? Being dead?" he wondered, gray head canting. Tambourine's lips pressed together. "But she won't wake up, right?" He drew in a breath. "Where do we put her?"


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Banner - September 23, 2016

Her heart clenched for what felt like the millionth time when the two males exchanged their "I love you"s.  Banner nodded to Tambourine when he looked her way, still unable to put much of a smile on her face.  She wanted to be encouraging for him but the Beta didn't know how to convey that emotion.  Though a poor substitute, she hoped he and Stark took some kind of solace in her presence.

Tambourine's questions were of a curous nature, which was a good sign.  Unsure of how to explain death to a boy so young, she thought for a brief moment before speaking up again.  Sort of, she replied in her low voice.  She's at peace now.  Banner didn't know exactly what she felt when it came to the afterlife or what happened upon death, but as she looked over to Octavia's broken and battered body, it was obvious that she'd been in a great deal of both physical and mental pain.  At the very least, she wasn't in pain anymore.

As for what to do with the former Alpha's body, that was a decision she'd leave for Tambourine and Stark to make.  Her bright green gaze went once more to her darker brother.  Naturally, she'd be there for whatever they decided.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - September 24, 2016

The boy was taking it in stride, something that Stark found himself eternally grateful for. It saved him trying to hold off his own emotions for handling Tambourine's and reassuring the child of life and love and death and all the wonderfully terrible things that made up the world. They were in the same club, now. The motherless - ones who might someday try and achieve greatness just for the sake of a worn out memory. 

"She won't wake up," He agreed quietly, meeting Banner's gaze for a moment before it shifted back to Tambourine. "I think death is like staying asleep - but there aren't nightmares, and it's just peaceful. Like Banner said." There was no way to tell anyways, though Stark was more inclined to think that death was just that. Dead. Nothing. It wasn't like he'd tell that to the boy though right then. "I think what might be nice is if we bury her near the river." Stark said, gaze flickering between both wolves as he looked for approval. He couldn't ask Octavia, after all, but it was a spot that seemed the most appropriate where it was near the aspects of the pack's grounds she had loved. 

"Do you want to help me pick a spot?" He asked the boy - they could choose one together for her.



RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Tambourine - October 04, 2016

If peace was the theme of death, then Tambourine let himself feel reassured. There was still a sadness about all of it, of course, that he picked up on despite his lack of familiarity with this entire situation (or his own mother, as of late). He would still mourn Tavi, in his way. As he aged, it would be a lot more about missed potential than anything else, though, and Stark's solid presence would most certainly soften the blow.

The Alpha suggested they bury her near the river, then invited him to pick a spot. The boy balked at the idea of putting her in the ground. Wouldn't she...? He looked down at her. She wasn't breathing. He supposed she couldn't suffocate then. And the weight of the earth wouldn't crush the life out of her; it was already gone. Maybe putting her underground would keep her safe and warm, even though those things didn't really matter now either. Nonetheless, Tambourine slowly came to accept the idea.

"Okay," he said quietly. He nodded.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Banner - October 06, 2016

There was no doubt about it - Stark was way better at this sort of thing.  Banner gave her brother an encouraging nod when he looked to her.  She wanted to say that it was a great idea to bury her by the river, but the words wouldn't form on her tongue.  They'd cheapen the moment somehow.  A small smile ghosted across her maw as she looked from her darker brother to Tambourine.  This was something the two males would do together for the woman they both cared for, though in very different ways.

Banner backed off a bit.  It was only a few paces, but she wanted to give them a little breathing room.  She knew that her place was here and now becuase Stark had requested it, but Banner had not shared the closeness with Octavia that he had.  She would stand by as a steady support when needed and a comforting presence for Stark and Tambourine when they needed her just a little bit less.  Banner inhaled quietly and watched the pair through sad green eyes.


RE: This is something monstrous and magical. Beyond science; beyond reason. - Stark - October 10, 2016

They made the grave, they brought her to it, Stark laid her down as delicately as he could and tried to make her seem at peace. It was what he kept saying - what he kept promising himself in his head. She's at peace. How did peace work when the darkness was all there was? What could he give her now, that she was decaying muscle and cold flesh? Stark washed his tongue across her forehead, nuzzling against her for a moment as a soft sound - a whine left him. 

It was hard to consider leaving her behind and even harder to consider covering her up. The earth would swallow her, it would consume her, it would become one with her. Stark took a moment to nuzzle against Tambourine and then Banner. This was something he couldn't expect such a young child to shoulder so easily, but then, Tambourine was a different sort of child entirely. 

Leaving Octavia beneath the tree for the river to rush by her and the songs of crows above. Their schemes would wait, the dreams would visit - it would all be there with her.