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Cerulean Cape things my heart used to know. - Printable Version

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things my heart used to know. - Andronika - April 02, 2017

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It'd been several days since her encounter with the prince known as Pendragon, and the wandering princess had found herself missing his company. Well, maybe not his company, so to speak, but the familiarity and comfort it brought her—the reminder that she wasn't alone in this world full of wolves that seemed to not care about her royal blood. The attenion he had given her, even. He had cared, he had known what it was like to be the child of a King, and even moreso, what it was like to lose it all. It had been nice to discuss kingdoms and nobility again, even if the conversation had been heavily laced with the grief of all that had been lost. Sometimes she thought about wandering near the river in hopes she might find him again, but would often change her mind and wander back, never lingering long. What would she even say? What could he say that would fix this forlorn pain in her heart? Nothing. At best, he was just a delightful representation of what had been, not a solution to all her woes.

Their discussion of homes got her to thinking that maybe it was time to really settle down... make a place for herself in this strange, new world. It was nice to travel—hell it even felt mandatoy for fear that if her paws were still too long, she'd drown in her grief and never resurface—but it would only distract her for so long. This beach would start to look a lot like that beach, those trees would stat to look like every other tree; it would all just blend together in one mundane blur and she'd run out of horizons to chase. Then, once she grew bored of travel, her heart would start aching again, and it seemed the only cure for that ache was companionship...

A pack. As much as she hated to lower herself to such standards, she'd need to find a pack. They could take her in, give her a home, give her plenty of distractions to keep her pain at bay... but where could she find one? She only knew what her parents had told her of packs, that they were unruly bands of wolves that were hardly structured and primitive in comparison to a kingdom. They'd never told her of where to find one, how you'd join one, how they specifically opperated. Might there be any packs on the coast, or would she have to travel further inland? It was a rather daunting thought, the idea that'd she just have to keep traveling until she found one, and then what? What if it wasn't even worth it? What if they were somehow even worse than she'd imagined...?

These were the thoughts running through her head as she aimlessly walked along the sand shores of Cerulean Cape, pale green eyes downcast as she half heartedly kicked up sand behind her. It was night, the moon high overhead and the darkness of the sky painting everything in shades of blue and purple. Whenever her mind wandered away from the more important things, wandered back to the present, she'd turn her head to the side and admire how the moonlight refracted upon the waves, creating a shakey trail of white that stretched all the way out to the horizon, progressively getting wider. She'd usually be sleeping right about now, making her movements just a little drowsy and uncaring, but her troubled thoughts had kept her awake, prompting her to just take a leisurely stroll down the beach. She was unaware of anyone else that might be around, and in her weary, listless state, she probably wouldn't care.
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RE: things my heart used to know. - Embry - April 02, 2017

     Embry was quiet as he stood, reserved, upon the weathered rock beneath him. The ocean was a calm presence beyond the soft, tawny shore he faced. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the distance chorus of seagulls dipping in and out of the wave's tranquil chantey. His blue-green orbs remained impassive at the horizon so many miles away. What had he done to deserve such a wonderful sight as this? To observe the origins of colors he himself was bestowed at birth. From a distance, the male's figure was hardly decipherable - flaxen amidst the ginger coast. It was as though he had been born of the sea himself. 
     Sighing, Embry allowed himself a moment to recollect his past greivances. Perhaps if he were to awknowledge them in a place so serene it might simply slip away on the frothy cerulean depths. He missed his packmates, missed the darkened hues of amber that met him in the morning and varying purples that bid him goodnight, missed the hope of dependence upon one another, missed the strength of a family. It was all gone now, and yet he was no less perturbed. He had, after all, been the sole bereaver. 
     It was during this docile moment of reflection that Embry spotted a wolf not much farther along the bay. She walked as though defeated, every step a weight in which gravity only leadened. Nonetheless, she was a sight for sore eyes. What was he to do? Confront her for the sake of long-awaited social interaction? To what lengths was he permitted to even greet the troubled soul? Yet, he could not help but watch how subtle her head moved as she advanced along the shore, shimmering contrast to the streams of purple and blue canvassed around her. She no doubt felt an aspect of similar recognition to the wonderful scene of the ocean before them. 
     He set out in a ginger lope across the shore, bounding with as much noise as one could muster in the clumps of sand that sprayed behind. He hoped that in doing so, he presented himself long before he arrived within earshot. That way, he was no more a surprise to her as she had been to him. 



RE: things my heart used to know. - Andronika - April 02, 2017

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Perhaps exhaustion was truly starting to take it's toll on her, for her footfalls seemed to grow heavier with each passing second and her troubled thoughts began to quiet as the need for sleep fought to take control of her subconscious. The rhythmic, almost lulling sound of the waves crashing upon shore certainly didn't help her stay awake, nor did the boring stillness of night... Perhaps it was time to go lay down, put this night (and herself) to rest at last. How long had she been wandering out here anyway? Longer than her body had liked, it seemed. Whatever pack joining decisions she had to make could be debated in the morning... they could wait... and yet... Even with her mind slowly slipping away, she still walked, almost as if she couldn't stop. Her paws were just moving on their own accord now, seemingly determined to keep going until she flopped down and passed out... She was incapable of thinking on her problems any further, yet she was incapable of putting them to rest, so she was just... stuck like this. Wandering.

Her eyes were heavy, her bowed head was no longer in the mood to be raised, and the sand honestly looked really soft...

Then, paw steps, paw steps kicking up the really soft sand ahead in a casual trot towards her. The sound was distant at first, distant enough for her to not truly register it, but it quickly grew louder and suddenly startled her half asleep mind. Something—no, someone—was approaching. Not very urgently it seemed, but still, approaching. The mere presence of another upon this seemingly empty beach shot a jolt through her sleepy system, acting as a wake up call that sent her heart raising and caused her to halt in her tracks immediately, wary green eyes darting up to scan the stranger. Given her exhaustion however, the short lived burst of adrenaline seemed to be met with some resistance, soon slowing to a sluggish pace in her veins before dissipating altogether and leaving her drowsy once more. By the time she finally got a good look at the man, not just a quick, shocked glance, she'd already calmed down to the point of finding his presence almost surreal, like this were just some dream and not reality. She didn't take his presence seriously in this state of mind; she couldn't take anything seriously with this dull fuzz of drowiness blurring her thoughts.

No fear registered on her face, nor any pretentiousness or suspicion. Really, her features were void of all emotion and only displayed her state of being: tired. She didn't bother to take any steps forward, but she did slowly raise her head and give a long, soft exhale through her nose, ears flicking uncertainly. "Greetings," she mumbled flatly, sounding neither upset or exuberant. 

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RE: things my heart used to know. - Embry - April 03, 2017

     Embry dipped his head, tail swaying submissively. The night's events had conjurred a false sense of insecurity that he had erstwhile thought absent. Yet he was now left with the family pang of anxiety as he stood, gaze aloft, before this woman. Her weary appearance was expected considering where she no doubt arrived from - somewhere near Drageda. She was obviously tired, and, try as he might, he too could attest to the ocean's rhythmic lullaby. What should he say? Hey, I'm really lonely - howsabout you?
     "Hello." He found his voice unnervingly strangled. It wasn't as urbane as it used to be, what with the time he had lost to retain the debonair of a pack wolf. Smooth. Like butter. His old accent kicked in, and soon nostalgia settled itself upon his senses. For a moment he was back in the fen, playing amidst the open honey-golden canopy. A wave crashed against the rocks and he was back on the shore, wind ruffling his tawny coat.
     "I saw you from the distance there." Beautiful. Just poetic, Embry. "I thought I'd just check in and, uh..." He glanced at his paws, shifting uncomfortably in the sand. She was no doubt aggravated at him, for one reason or another. Why had he even approached her? She wasn't in trouble, wasn't lost, wasn't even - by account of review - close to starving. So what was his refute? Something had to have provoked him. Yet, his mind seemed to fumble with the words, splaying different phrases across a network of transparent locutions.  
     "Just making sure things were well wherever you're heading from. I guess I was just curious, what with the snowy weather down south." He angled his ears towards the grove of palms nearby, gaze soft, stance respectful. The last thing he wanted to do was seem threatening. 



RE: things my heart used to know. - Andronika - April 05, 2017

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The agouti youth listened to his boorish greeting with a nonchalant and unreadable expression, the only indication she was even listening being an occasional flick of her ears. His body language didn't seem threatening in any way — quite the opposite, he seemed meek and awkward, almost submissive. There was clearly no need to put herself on edge then, and with his slow, uncertain tone of voice, she couldn't find any other reason to give him her full attention. Therefore, the sleepy woman zoned out a bit as he spoke, lingering between hearing what he had to say and mentally dozing off. Truly, if her mind wasn't dulled by the need to sleep, the arrogant princess would probably quirk a brow at him and demand that he "get on with it", imply that he was wasting valuable time, but what was wasted time to a wolf who shouldn't be awake right now anyway? He could take all the time he wanted; she didn't have anything important to do that she wasn't kind of already doing right now.

During the gap in the conversation where he trailed off glanced down at his paws, she offered only a muffled "mmm-hmm" in response to his previous statement before she started to zone out entirely, her eyes tiredly narrowing to slits and her head just starting to droop. When he suddenly spoke next, however, she jerked back to attention, once more pumped full with enough adrenaline to stay awake and alert just a little while longer. Good thing too, for his next statement was actually something worth hearing, something that brought her fully back to consciousness and wiped the apathy from her face entirely. He claimed to be "checking in on her" and wanted to know how things were where she came from, supposedly put off by her body language, or at least that's how it seemed. Her drowsy mind stupidly inquired what gave him the idea something was wrong in the first place, but she quickly reminded herself he had seen her from afar, had likely seen her drudging down the beach with her head low and sullen looking. It only occurred to her now how lost and weary she must have looked (which was not far off from how she actually felt). It hadn't been her intention to look so hopless, but then again, she hadn't expected to meet another wolf tonight.

As for what he said, her initial reaction was to think he meant her home home, as in her birth place, and that sent a hot spark of defensiveness through her... but the feeling quickly died. Honestly, she was in no mood to act as pompous and self entitled as she usually did, or to even get remotely upset right now. She was tired, and she had a lot of big things on her mind, things that were more important than snapping at the boy for making an innocent inquiry. With that new mind set, she realized he also couldn't read minds; he didn't know about her home, and probably wasn't even trying to find out. He just wanted to know about where she'd come from, and that could just as easily mean the far end of the coast as it did her true place of origin.

More awake and more attentive now, she lifted her head and gazed at him in an analytical way, her body language mostly neutral save for the haughty way she held herself. She cleared her throat quickly before speaking, trying to put a little more feeling into it than before. "I suppose I'm not in the best of spirits," she admitted with a shrug, "but where I hail from has little to do with it. I just have a lot on my mind..." Not entirely a lie, but even if it was, this was all he'd be getting from her. "Regardless, it need not concern you anyway." As for that last bit, he could take it as he liked: either she simply didn't want him to worry about her, or she didn't want him prying into her business. Both were true, more or less. 

The idea of sleeping had receded to the dark forgotten corners of her mind by now, the weary woman far more interested in this conversation. She sighed quietly and seated herself on the sand, making it clear that she didn't aim to just gab and go;  now that he had gotten her mind working, she figured she could get some info out of this wolf, assuming he knew anything about the coast. If not, at least his presence would sate the pang of loneliness she tried so hard to deny herself. "What of you, stranger? Exactly where are you from?"

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RE: things my heart used to know. - Embry - April 05, 2017

      Embry was slightly taken-aback. He didn't know whether it was the harsh wind whipping at his fur or the stiff atmosphere that made him so uncomfortable. His sea-green flecks traced the woman before him - none too discreetly - in search of any signs of harm or lesion. Something about her was thick with a sense of nobility that seemed, more or less, cumbered. Perhaps he should have stopped and taken more account for proper political decorum. Nevertheless, this term "nobility" was not so much the adjective as much as the noun, judging by her tongue. And it grew increasingly evident to him just how close he was to the cusp of her noble patience, where vitriol was only a pawstep away, with every word that passed. It helped to notice, albeit elusive, her subtle shift in attitude. The conversation was, at least, not a total vexation.

     "I'm from Blue Syren. I doubt you've ever heard of it... Kind of coins the atypical pleb, that place. But Broken Antler Fen seemed to take me well. Promoted me to Theta 'n all before  I had to leave." He sat back on his haunches, softening his intense gaze as he reclined. It didn't matter how wary she wanted to be, he wouldn't conform to these wolves' policies. There was nothing she could do with a little background information, anyways. "Certainly glad you are well, of course. Didn't mean to venture so far within your personal affairs - I'm sure they're very important." The sarcasm wasn't as weighty as he would have liked, but in all manners of peace, he would keep his respect towards her undeterred.
     
     He paused a moment and closed his eyes, took a deep breath. This air was so soothing, so saccharine on his lips. Someday he would show another the pleasure it induced to him. His attention was, for hardly long enough to notice, somewhere far into the depths of time and space. But it was brief, and the moment seemed to escape before he could snatch it. His lids snapped back open and he set his gaze back upon the female, tail brushing at the sand ever so gently as it stirred. 

     "Pardon me, I'm not one for introductions. Once again, my heritage reaps the gaps of social stability." He summoned up a grin, sheepish but prominent. Once again, the question seemed to implant itself within the depths of his mind, blistering at his central train of thought with mole-like precision. He had no idea where to go next, now that he was alone. Would he simply explore the Teekon Wilds til death came clawing? It wasn't just the situation that had stimulated this conversation, no matter what the female may think. He was inadvertently struggling to map out his future, and somehow he felt compelled that she was the key. Perhaps something she said would trigger his sense of adventure, and he would disembark from this aimless voyage of his. "My name is Embry. It's a pleasure to meet you, despite the, er... circumstances."



RE: things my heart used to know. - Andronika - April 05, 2017

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Well he was right to doubt. She hadn't ever heard of this "Blue Syren" and visibly confirmed his suspicion by faintly furrowing her brows. Broken Antler Fen was foreign to her as well, but by the way he mentioned a promotion system, she assumed that it was at least an organization of sorts... maybe a pack? Could they be that organized...? She honestly had no clue. Oh well. Recognizing what he was talking about wasn't the point here; gathering intel on these still very foreign lands was, and so far, she was doing just that. Curiosity briefly flashed in her gaze when he mentioned having to leave this "Broken Antler Fen", her inquisitive mind automatically wanting to know why, but she fought the urge to immediately start interrogating him. After all, she wasn't revealing her past to him, so why should he?

Because your a bloody Meronique, that's why. What you want, you get; no commoner can tell you otherwise say. Oh shut it mother. 

He next settled himself into a sitting position, as she had, so at least he didn't intend to go running off either. His next comments had seemed sincere enough, to the point of her almost relaxing in his presence entirely, until he assaulted her ears with sarcasm. "I'm sure they're very important." Annnnd there it was again. That angry flare of defensiveness boiling up inside her, this time burning longer now that she had her wits about her and could actually take things personally, not just fizzling out due to drowsiness. Her inner spoiled child sought to throw a tantrum over his audacity — how dare he doubt the authenticity of her woes! — but she managed to calm her demons before they rose to the surface. The sarcasm was there, yes, but light, almost halfhearted; not a serious jab. Or, at least, that was how he came across anyway, not that she could see inside his head and deduce his true feelings. It was just banter, not need to get her tail in a knot... yet. Her anger cooled, but it left a bitter taste in its wake. She narrowed her eyes, narrowed her brows and frowned, the disdain evident on her features, though it made her look more disapproving than actually offended. Her voice was not a harsh hiss, but a bitter mumble, a correcting retort to his comment. "Yes, incredibly."

After that, for just a moment, he closed his eyes and took a breath, providing a long enough pause in the conversation for Andronika to glance seaward. Her pale green gaze settled upon the moon once again, tracing down to the refracted moonlight that highlighted the sea, painting bright white zigzags across the otherwise pitch black waves. Such a pretty sight... almost an ironic match for the lingering dourness inside her. When he spoke again, she quickly looked back, a frown still haunting her lips, resembling a child's pout. Upon seeing his smile and hearing his words however, the expression slackened a bit, giving way to his good natured attitude. Of course, she still looked at him with disinterest — like a noble observing a pleb — but at least it wasn't distaste.

"I am Andronika," she announced with an air of self entitlement. "Charmed." It seemed two could play at sarcasm. 

Naturally, she would've added "Meronique, Princess of the New Meronique Kingdom" after that, but she'd long learned those words meant nothing to the uncultured commoners out here. The throne she was promised would forever be a broken promise, a thing of the past, and she unfortunately had to accept that. Of course she'd still hold herself like the royal blooded creature she was, even if her title meant nothing. Additionally, she was also still tired, and "Andronika" was a much simpler introduction for her lazy mouth.

"So... as you were saying before, this 'Blue Syren' and this 'Broken Antler Fen'... are they packs? Her tone and expression now were a mixture of honest curiosity and demand; tell me what you know. Not pushy, but clearly expecting answers. "What are they like?" There were many other questions she wanted to ask, but she forced herself to be patient, fearful he would withhold everything he knew if she threw it all at him at once. She wanted to know how they worked, where they were, if they even still existed, what packs were around now... All information that could be very crucial to her future. She'd leaned a little closer now, ears perked and patiently/not so patiently waiting for his response.

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RE: things my heart used to know. - Embry - April 05, 2017

     Embry stiffened, his gaze halting along its track at her brow. The orbs had always been a roaming sea of green, yet now it was still, stolid. He admittedly enjoyed teasing with her, if not to get a better perception of her personality in the process. But he noticed the change in her cooling composure the moment he had spoken the sarcastic retort and instantly regretted it. When she broke eye contact and looked out at the shore, it only made his stomach do somersaults. This wolf is different. He had already known that. Quite the captain obvious, Embry. But it was true, no matter how much he had tried to neglect it. Indeed, they were both in the same boat here. So, when she questioned him on his origins, he was quick to acquiesce.
  

     "Blue Syren was definitely some type of pack. But it was more of a family. There was no hierarchy, save for our Doyen. They were basically the High Council of sorts; looked over our community. Technically, I was born as one of the heirs but..." He trailed off for a moment and glanced at the ground. What? But they were completely and utterly dessimated by a plague? Wrought under the fires of the very wolves he had befriended? No, he would take another path. Blue Syren had been serene in its pre-war existence. "Things changed. I was taken to the Teekon Wilds and next thing I knew I stumbled upon the Fen."

     Embry shrugged, his golden fur falling in tawny rivets along his shoulder. The ocean spray had collected upon his fur and crystal droplets were pooling around his feet. Somewhere in the Highlands of his youth, there was a war being fought for him and his comrades. Why was he not there? Go on Embry. They'd told him. It'll be ok when you return. But he wouldn't. Not for a thousand years would he return to watch his home ripped to pieces. It was a ghost, a specter in him mind as long as he wanted it to be. The only thing that could change that was the reality of it.

     "Broken Antler Fen is a great pack for strangers like me, foreigners of the Teekon Wilds. They protected me during a period of utter depravation throughout the wilds. Wolves were starving for food, and here I was - a complete other mouth to feed - and they let me in. As long as you work hard, no pack like that lets you down, you know?" This time he let his gaze slip back to hers'. He was ready to hear her voice in the conversation again. He liked the regal, confident tune it held even in this dark, desolate night. Maybe it reminded him of the Syren even, what with their articulated lilt and extrinsic composure. They at least held similarity in that they were different, and that was appreciated.



RE: things my heart used to know. - Andronika - April 23, 2017

Apologies for the wait; lost my muse for a bit
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The entire time he spoke, she kept a focused expression on her features, not at all disguising how she curiously hung on his every word. It didn’t surprise her when he said Blue Syren had no hierarchy — again, with what she had been taught about packs, she didn’t expect there to be such a sophisticated set up, just a bunch of wolves running around and claiming themselves to be a group. The mention of a council was a little surprising, but then again, she did suppose that even a pack needed some form of leadership. There would’ve been some form of a council in her kingdom as well, composed of the royals and the law enforcers as she had been informed, but… she pushed the thought aside, already feeling a pang in her heart towards the prospect of what would’ve been. This wasn't about her past. Focus. Blue Syren. Blue Syren…

Then he softly mentioned being an heir, and the pang forcibly returned. Now that did take her by surprise, though, not because she thought them to be the same exactly. Yes, they were similar, but a princess and a common blooded heir to a little pack were not the same thing… Rather, she was surprised that this was yet another instance in which a stranger knew her pain… Knew what it felt like to be promised something, like a kingdom or pack, and lost it… Granted, she didn’t know the exact details of Embry’s leaving (maybe he didn't lose anything), for he was intentionally vague about it, but who simply gave up their home? Besides, it was his vagueness that told her it was no cheery tale; something had happened. She wouldn’t pry, for she wouldn’t want him prying into her business, but knowing that he might share her pain caused her attitude to shift, the girl now regarding him with a shred more of respect. Similar, at least...

Next, as she’d inquired, he spoke of Broken Antler Fen, pushing aside his memories of Blue Syren with a shrug. He claimed it to be a good pack for foreigners, strangers, and that gave her some hope. Though she knew these lands better than she had before, a good portion of them (almost all of it really) was still strange and foreign to her… He made it sound like this pack would be tolerant of such naivety, a good place for those that didn't know what to do or where to go, and that put it high up on the list of possible future homes she was making. Her only true responsibility, according to an ex member at least, was to work hard, and, admittedly, she held some reservations about that. What more could one expect from a princess that had never worked a day in her life? Still… Working, letting go of her title, marching to the beat of someone else’s drum… these were all things she’d have to get used to if she wanted to live in a pack, so it all just boiled down to whether she thought it was more important to be the queen of a lost kingdom and starve in the loner lands, or bite the bullet and lower herself to everyone else’s standards so she could actually live without worrying about the future.

That decision, she concluded, was for a different time. When she wasn’t in the middle of a conversation and beginning to sway on her feet from lack of rest. Now, her only task was to find a place… just take it one step at a time…

“I see…” she began slowly, her gaze cast down and seemingly focused on the damp furs of Embry’s chest, lost in thought. “I must admit, this concept of a ‘pack’ is very new to me, but… This ‘Broken Antler Fen’ sounds promising…” Her eyes widened a bit and they suddenly darted upward to meet his face, realizing she’d unintentionally given away her desire to settle down. It didn’t really matter that he knew (she probably would’ve eventually told him anyway), but it was like her tongue had taken a mind of its own, like it wanted Embry to know her plans for the future, her uncertainty. Stupid tongue. She awkwardly cleared her throat and sighed, casually tossing her gaze in the sea’s direction. Might as well explain herself.That is what’s been plaguing my mind as of late… I’ve been thinking about the future and I am trying to find a suitable home…” A short, sarcastic and almost bitter laugh scoffed from her throat as she looked back to him. “I, admittedly, didn’t think much before going out on my own…” The idea of ever having a choice simply made her laugh. She hadn’t chosen to be an orphan, to have everything stolen out from under her in one night. Running had been her only choice…

“Where is it? The Fen?” Her voice didn't sound desperate, just lazily curious. There was no guarantee this pack would be the right place, but it was a start.

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