Raven's Watch silverwave

here the lake widened into a river along the edge of the watchlands. teya stood with ankles buffeted by the current, fishing expertly despite the fact she had not done so before. "last time we here, too injured to enjoy the place," she commented to @Bridget, not glancing up just yet as a fat trout lazily skimmed against one of her legs.
her heart felt so much sunnier when she was away from brecheliant, and this engendered its own guilt.

Bridget was perceptive enough to notice the obvious change, but she didn’t comment on it. Instead she kept it to her own private thoughts, mulling it over during the quieter moments.

I definitely enjoyed parts of it, she replied, laughing at the recollection. It had been a shit show, but the best kind of shit… the one where she got to dive in headfirst, guns blazing. She didn’t know the last time she’d felt that free. Years at least.

It’s easier to enjoy it without the residents breathing down your neck too. And I still kind of wish they were here. It would show that something could actually last. She didn’t say it - it felt unfair to Brecheliant. Maybe that was why she picked the life of a traveling medic, and why the conversation with Amalia had gone the direction it had. If the wolves here had left, they probably had good reasons for doing so. But it didn’t make it any less disappointing to find them gone.

a splash, a flash of fin. the fish arced through the air to gasp in the grass until teya's dispatching bite ended a long death. "not me!" she said. "glad they gone. can enjoy place much better not being around others."
maybe that was the issue, crowds. groups. expectations.
the stars would be out soon, teya saw. she carried the trout to bridget and offered it up before settling to clean fish slime from her paws. "been a good trip so far."

Oh, yeah? The antisocial doesn’t take long, I see! Bridget replied, clearly poking fun, before shaking her head and laughing quietly. You’re right, though. No way we would have been able to just walk through if they still were here. That’s always kind of a shame, too, not being able to see a place because someone else happened to find it first.

She watched Teya successfully catch the fish from where she was relaxing on the bank. She had planned to catch herself a little something later, but of course, Teya had other plans. She knew better than to argue. It really has been. I was just telling Amalia a bit ago how good it it would be to get away for a while. And it feels even better than I thought it would, no offense to Brecheliant. She knew it wasn’t personal. This looks amazing, by the way! You’re eating some of it too, right?

"always," teya chuckled. "antisocial right there." and she shook her head then, slyly. "borders never stop me," the raven declared with an arch of her brow. the alabaster face of — well. her mind rushed with the image and then she was blank.
"no offense to brecheliant," teya murmured with a wan smile. "i feel same way. how amalia doing?" she asked, taking a bite of what she had brought and pretending as though the mention of a pretty, unattached woman in the mouth of her pretty, unattached friend™ made her feel no way at all.
she was glad they had come after all, and tried to release the feeling with great effort.

Bridget straightened up and leaned in conspiratorially at that little nugget. Oh? You want to go border skipping? Naughty, but I am so in! She was (mostly) joking, but the part that missed her wilder and less tied down days perked with real interest. Fuck, how nice would it feel to be chased? It really was too bad that it usually came with some risk of real injury, because otherwise she’d already be looking for the nearest pack.

Amalia’s great. She was talking about wanting to travel too, so we were comparing notes. Spring seems to be the time for it. Bridget hadn’t spoken with her often, but it would be a lie to say she hadn’t considered the fact that something might be there. It was an easy thing to dismiss offhand with most she met, though. Who wanted a future without kids?

Reading none of Teya’s internal thoughts, Bridget took a bite, swallowing before she continued. Winter just makes the place feel smaller, I think. So everyone takes that first chance to get away. Except Maia and Eljay, maybe, since their kids surely hadn’t hesitated. Never a bad thing, in her opinion, though those were the thoughts she tended to keep to herself.

her amusement was clear. "wolves, if they were here, we still be here too," teya insisted. "go high into watch walls, go up and be one with ravens."
she nodded at bridget's opinion of how the winter affected feelings inside a pack, and she felt that made more sense than she had realized. was it just that for her? but how could it feel like that every day, every hour, every minute?
eternal winter.
she fought the descent into her own ugly thoughts, trying to remain present for them both. "glad we came, then?" teya asked, deciding that keeping the focus on bridget was probably all she could manage for now, and the best approach.

Of course. There wasn’t even a question about it. She’d been looking forward to the trip, but she hadn’t realized how much she herself needed it too until it had drawn closer. Let alone watching how much lighter Teya became the further they wandered.

Intuitively she knew, even if Teya hadn’t mentioned it yet. There was no way she couldn’t see it. She’d suspected it, and it was the reason she’d proposed a chance to get away, but the reality of their travels only confirmed it. There was a hesitation to bring it up, and potentially swing the mood of the moment, but there was no argument. Just acknowledgement.

Brecheliant doesn’t fit anymore, does it? Bridget looked at her, softening into a more serious conversation. It makes sense. It’s hard to move forward in a place that stands still. And it’s been nice seeing you smile again.

Maybe she was wrong - or maybe she was right, and Teya would resist the idea. She’d always given more of herself to the pack than Bridget did, first as a leader, then as a wife and a mother. If that was the case, she wouldn’t fight it. Yet she hoped for a different answer, an answer that would complicate so many things.

"teekon doesn't fit anymore," teya answered more candidly than she had wanted. but it was true. being away from brecheliant brought such a relief that shame soon followed. the caldera made her feel numb, empty —
"i tell maia and eljay i maybe not come back." she cleared her throat a little. "their eyes..."
it hurt very much to think she was abandoning them, even if she knew she wasn't. her children were yearlings now and there were no more to come. grandchildren would fill brecheliant every year —
she felt herself start to cry, and fought it a bit, though she moved closer to bridget, desperate for a portion of the cardinal's nearness even if she would never let herself ask for it again.
"i like smiling more. i like feeling — better." not quite whole, but better. "and i like when i see you smiling." and it had always been that way. she fumbled and turned halfway, looking out over the stone expanse.

Fortunately Teya never needed to ask. As soon as it was apparent that she was upset, Bridget leaned in, pressing their sides together in silent support while she listened.

It hurt to hear, of course. But this pain was discounted immediately by the gratitude she felt towards hearing Teya finally speak about the things she needed. The familiar defensiveness rose in her, a flicker of anger at the idea that Maia or Eljay had made her feel guilt for that. She’d remained through way more than most would. What right did they have to try and make her stay now?

There is nothing wrong with that. She insisted, smiling and touching Teya’s cheek. Despite the smile, her eyes were still serious. It’s okay to do the things that you need to do in order to move on, to be there for your family. Even if that means disappointing some who don’t understand. I’m proud of you, Teya.

She had no more right to ask her friend to stay, no matter how conflicted her emotions were. Importantly, also - she didn’t want to. She’d rather fall off another mountain than get between Teya and a choice she was finally making for herself.