Redhawk Caldera rather be

Daddy remained calm, while storms raged inside of Eljay. He fervently shook his head as daddy asked him if he didn't want to be brave. "I don't wanna explore, I wanna be alive!" he shouted fearfully and he started to sob. It had been a while since Eljay had cried -- he'd even been going on little expeditions around the territory by himself, without constantly asking for mommy or daddy -- but this moment was so overwhelming for him that the heartsore of mommy leaving and getting hurt came right back at him.

Eljay's tail tucked between his hind legs, not just because of the panic but also because he knew that he was letting daddy down again. He wanted so badly to be a good son and be everything his parents wanted him to be, but every time he tried to take a step forward, it seemed like he went two steps back. Instead of taking this moment and learn from it, Eljay only hated himself more, causing more panic to pile on, for his inability to please his parents. Even if they didn't often say that they were disappointed, it was obvious enough since (besides the fact that he hadn't yet caught his first prey, however hard he tried) they wanted him to be brave and he just wasn't.