Redhawk Caldera you promised that you'd never leave

It was hard not to feel terrible — Eljay just wanted nothing but to feel good again and make everybody happy, but he just couldn't, and that made him feel even worse. He wished that he could say those things, confess that he didn't think he'd ever be happy again, but he just found himself incapable. He didn't want to be an even bigger disappointment.

When he was offered the food he took a small bite and chewed on it for a long time. He nodded at Raven's words, blinking away the tears as he said, "I'll do better." He continued to chew then, long and slow, feeling foreign with the motions of chewing his food and not sure how to even swallow it all down. When he did swallow it felt like a big lump going down his throat, and it was hard to suppress the feeling of wanting to throw it right back up. But he did, for them, and for mommy.