Greatwater Lake A silent heart ticking under the ground

After making arrangements for someone to watch the kids and telling Blue Willow and Atticus to keep an eye on the borders for a few hours, Peregrine did something he hadn't done since arriving in the wilds and joining the plateau's ranks (save that morning when he almost ran away): he left the plateau far behind. It was temping to find Hawkeye and ask her to come with him but, honestly, he needed to get away and sort out his feelings first. He ranged south and east, pretending to track the herds but mostly just letting his feet carry him wherever they may.

He wanted to clear his head but, as he wandered, so did his mind. Primarily, he pondered his relationship with his mate. He understood that the pups took up most of his mate's time; they took up his time in a nearly equal capacity now that they were weaning. Yet their relationship had officially deteriorated to little more than a business partnership lately. Save for a single, brief encounter (and, granted, it had been pleasant to finally have her to himself up until Osprey's cry had quickly ended that), the two of them hadn't spent any time alone in over a month. And one stolen moment wouldn't undo months of damaging distance anyhow.

When he reached the lake shore, it was in a mood of disquietude. He didn't know where to go from here, literally or figuratively. And as he stared out over the glassy surface, he reflected on how it definitely wasn't just Hawkeye's fault, either, not at all. Although he'd loved her immensely and still loved her now, that love had changed forms somewhere along the line. It was less fierce, more fond. It was less... "Romantic," he forced himself to admit out loud.

Now he wondered: had they perhaps paired up too quickly or reproduced too soon, all before giving the foundations of their pairing time to properly develop? Whatever the case, his romance with the beautiful, strong Raptor she-wolf had crumbled into dust, slowly and against his knowledge... until now, when it all became suddenly and painfully obvious. He could hardly bear to contemplate it. In fact, he felt like he'd been punched in the gut and sank down accordingly, trying to catch his breath around the sudden lump in his throat.

Presently, Peregrine just couldn't be sure there was a phoenix hidden in these ashes.