Redhawk Caldera i loved you first [m]

Sheesh, this is gonna be sad. But on a happier note: we'll have to have some Lasher/Junior threads when they're both back in BDP! :) <3

I feel like I went a little too omniscient in this post, so if you'd rather I change that, just say the word and I can make edits!

Ever since that evening on the plateau, when he had discovered his young mate haloed by the sunset and she had asked him to follow her to the ends of the earth, she had become the absolute center of his universe — to the detriment of all other relationships in his life. It was partly because he adored her to a fault; hell, he was a fool for her. But it was something else, too. Peregrine was an instinctual creature and already the breeding season called to him. No wonder his every thought and action orbited around his mate. He was waiting with bated breath for the day when they could create and birth their future together.

When Lasher's sobs woke him from a dead sleep, it was like a bucket of icy cold water dumped over his head, putting out the fire that Fox had lit in his mind, heart and loins. Suddenly, he realized he had neglected his other partner, who was supposed to be equally important to him. He had been a terrible lover. But hadn't he always been that way with his Taltos — selfish, always taking, rarely giving? Although Peregrine loved Lasher truly and deeply, he had not proved to be the partner Lasher deserved, now or ever.

As he hastened now to the ocher male's side, an intuition came over him. Before he even reached Lasher, Peregrine understood that this was quite likely the end. Lasher wouldn't be staying. He would go back to the plateau. Their time together was over. It broke Peregrine's heart because he knew it was all his fault. Particularly lately, he hadn't been a good lover. He had not struck a balance between Fox and Lasher, therefore betraying the very nature of their polyamorous arrangement. Now he would pay the price. It made his heart quiver and ache, yet at the same time, he knew Lasher could do better anyway.

"Taltos," Peregrine breathed when he reached his lover's side. He skimmed his nose over Lasher's shoulder and pressed his flank to the other male's. "You're leaving me, aren't you?" His sad eyes found Lasher's, full of pain but understanding, guilt and apology.