It was one of the first true warm spring days, when the sun not only shone, but it was actually warm. Osprey had found a little hillock that offered her a better view of the surroundings and there with her eyes closed and muzzle turned to the wind she caught the various scents and smells it brought with it. It had been difficult in the beginning to accept the fact that she could not give in to the wanderlust and be free to go, wherever she wanted. She missed her daily little journeys through the flatlands, the thrill of the hunt and, what it felt like to run with ease, without feeling any pain. But she had got used to it, because, where she could not go, her mind traveled, drawing maps, sceneries and areas before her eyes. This kind of wandering was not that bad in the end.
Osprey snapped out from her daydreams, when she felt the pulsating pain in her abdomen. She sighed, got up to her feet and slowly began to walk back to the place she had prepared for the newborns. Just few days ago she had mustered up the courage to approach Blue willow and apologize for being a stubborn fool. Mending things with her friend turned out to be easier than with Dante, because, even though she was sad and a little cross at Osprey for seeking help so late, she could sense that all was forgiven and almost forgotten, when she got healing plants for her aching joints and bleeding nose. There were some other questions and things a mother and a mother-to-be discussed and with a promise to call, when the time was near, they parted as good friends.
She had begun to feel the pain that came and went at irregular intervals early in the morning. Knowing, what it meant and wanting to save worries for Dante, she had kept quiet and seen him off in a more cheerful manner than usual. At the back of her mind she had felt a little guilty for not being entirely honest, but she knew that this time she had to make the journey into the unknown by herself. By the time she had got to the safe place that she had dug underneath a fallen tree, the pain was so immense that she had to lie down and rest. After a while she managed to crawl in her makeshift den and wait.
Osprey had been told that it could take hours before all of the puppies were born, yet it seemed to her that the whole event - though painful and exhausting - was over a lot more quickly. She didn't have to think much, what to do, when the first cub was brought to the world. Instinct as old as the wolfkind itself directed her actions, while she removed the amniotic sac, bit the cord and with gentle licks cleaned the tiny body of the little one and at the same time aiding it in taking the first breath of air here. It was easier with the next ones - her movements were quick and more confident.
When the pain had ceased and she had cleaned herself, Osprey could look down at the four little wolves to-be - two boys in the color of a sand, a girl with a black pelt and a boy, who was the only one to bear her colors. She thought, how strange it was to see these innocents, that had brought her so much unhappiness and fear in the beginning, here and now as little people with faces, with souls and a future waiting ahead. The very idea of, how big her responsibility for them was, was frightening and yet... she had been raised to accept a challenge and not be a coward. In a way this was a beginning of a different kind of adventure.
It took her a while to realize that something was wrong. While the world around her kept going - the sounds of the forest filling the air - this place was very quiet. Oddly enough she thought of an old tale about the very first wolf the god had made. Out of clay, it then had stood there, unmoving, unfeeling, until the god breathed life in it. As she gently nuzzled and sniffed the four, she understood that these were those clay figures, empty shells and that she could not give them life, even if she wanted it, for she had no divine power to do it, because she was just a wolf.
It was hard to accept the defeat, even in the face of the harsh reality. Slowly she got up to her feet and retreated, all the while keeping her gaze fixed at the four little things that had been in this world for such a short time and now weren't anymore. In the following weeks her rational mind would try to reason that maybe this was for the better, that they were spared from an unhappy fate, that there would be more resources for Willow's children to grow strong, that this after all had been... what she had wished for. There would be room for doubt and numerous questions, ponderings of what could have been, if...
Yet now all there was left was a grief for losing something very important and dear. It was odd, how one's mind worked, for she had not wanted to have kids in the beginning, had been miserable and stressed, but at the same time she had never hated them. Only feared that she would not be able to love them enough in order to protect them from the shadow of her sin. Blue had said that it would take one look at those faces and everything would seem different. She had been right and Osprey almost wished that she had not. The more she thought of the opportunities that were lost, the people and friends the four would never meet, she understood, how very much she had wanted to share this world with them. That there would be no shortage of love and affection, that all of it was already there, waiting for them...
And now nothing. She was at loss, what to do now. What people did in these situations, really? More than ever she wished that her mom was there, not to tell her, how to go from this point on, she would figure out this herself somehow. Just be there. She thought, as she began to move and gather the soft moss that covered the fallen tree like a thick blanket. She didn't fight, when tears began to well up and roll down her cheeks, she kept working and in the end her children weren't lying on the bare, cold ground anymore. What was meant to be their first home, now was their grave, where they appeared to sleep peacefully, side by side on the soft bed made from the moss and first spring grass.
It was time to burry them, but the exhaustion finally took over and Osprey had no strength left for that. She sank to her haunches, her head hung low, looking at the ground, as the tears kept coming and she expressed her grief in quiet sobs. There was a sudden change in the winds and one gust in particular brought a very familiar smell with it. Osprey raised her gaze to meet the one of her mother's. March Owl was standing mere feet away from her, regarding her kindly and tenderly, maybe a little sadly too. And out of million things Osprey wanted to say to and tell her mom, at this very moment there was only one that really mattered. "Keep them safe," she whispered.
This was the borderline for her, this was, where here time stopped, where the past belonged to the death and the future did not exist. Osprey lied down and curled up in a tight ball. The weather had changed and as she felt the first raindrops on her face and muzzle, she wished that with the same ease the rain could wash away the dust and dirt, it could also take her misery and pain away.
@Blue willow , but theoretically anyone, who knew that Osprey was expecting and who would happen to be nearby.
Osprey snapped out from her daydreams, when she felt the pulsating pain in her abdomen. She sighed, got up to her feet and slowly began to walk back to the place she had prepared for the newborns. Just few days ago she had mustered up the courage to approach Blue willow and apologize for being a stubborn fool. Mending things with her friend turned out to be easier than with Dante, because, even though she was sad and a little cross at Osprey for seeking help so late, she could sense that all was forgiven and almost forgotten, when she got healing plants for her aching joints and bleeding nose. There were some other questions and things a mother and a mother-to-be discussed and with a promise to call, when the time was near, they parted as good friends.
She had begun to feel the pain that came and went at irregular intervals early in the morning. Knowing, what it meant and wanting to save worries for Dante, she had kept quiet and seen him off in a more cheerful manner than usual. At the back of her mind she had felt a little guilty for not being entirely honest, but she knew that this time she had to make the journey into the unknown by herself. By the time she had got to the safe place that she had dug underneath a fallen tree, the pain was so immense that she had to lie down and rest. After a while she managed to crawl in her makeshift den and wait.
Osprey had been told that it could take hours before all of the puppies were born, yet it seemed to her that the whole event - though painful and exhausting - was over a lot more quickly. She didn't have to think much, what to do, when the first cub was brought to the world. Instinct as old as the wolfkind itself directed her actions, while she removed the amniotic sac, bit the cord and with gentle licks cleaned the tiny body of the little one and at the same time aiding it in taking the first breath of air here. It was easier with the next ones - her movements were quick and more confident.
When the pain had ceased and she had cleaned herself, Osprey could look down at the four little wolves to-be - two boys in the color of a sand, a girl with a black pelt and a boy, who was the only one to bear her colors. She thought, how strange it was to see these innocents, that had brought her so much unhappiness and fear in the beginning, here and now as little people with faces, with souls and a future waiting ahead. The very idea of, how big her responsibility for them was, was frightening and yet... she had been raised to accept a challenge and not be a coward. In a way this was a beginning of a different kind of adventure.
It took her a while to realize that something was wrong. While the world around her kept going - the sounds of the forest filling the air - this place was very quiet. Oddly enough she thought of an old tale about the very first wolf the god had made. Out of clay, it then had stood there, unmoving, unfeeling, until the god breathed life in it. As she gently nuzzled and sniffed the four, she understood that these were those clay figures, empty shells and that she could not give them life, even if she wanted it, for she had no divine power to do it, because she was just a wolf.
It was hard to accept the defeat, even in the face of the harsh reality. Slowly she got up to her feet and retreated, all the while keeping her gaze fixed at the four little things that had been in this world for such a short time and now weren't anymore. In the following weeks her rational mind would try to reason that maybe this was for the better, that they were spared from an unhappy fate, that there would be more resources for Willow's children to grow strong, that this after all had been... what she had wished for. There would be room for doubt and numerous questions, ponderings of what could have been, if...
Yet now all there was left was a grief for losing something very important and dear. It was odd, how one's mind worked, for she had not wanted to have kids in the beginning, had been miserable and stressed, but at the same time she had never hated them. Only feared that she would not be able to love them enough in order to protect them from the shadow of her sin. Blue had said that it would take one look at those faces and everything would seem different. She had been right and Osprey almost wished that she had not. The more she thought of the opportunities that were lost, the people and friends the four would never meet, she understood, how very much she had wanted to share this world with them. That there would be no shortage of love and affection, that all of it was already there, waiting for them...
And now nothing. She was at loss, what to do now. What people did in these situations, really? More than ever she wished that her mom was there, not to tell her, how to go from this point on, she would figure out this herself somehow. Just be there. She thought, as she began to move and gather the soft moss that covered the fallen tree like a thick blanket. She didn't fight, when tears began to well up and roll down her cheeks, she kept working and in the end her children weren't lying on the bare, cold ground anymore. What was meant to be their first home, now was their grave, where they appeared to sleep peacefully, side by side on the soft bed made from the moss and first spring grass.
It was time to burry them, but the exhaustion finally took over and Osprey had no strength left for that. She sank to her haunches, her head hung low, looking at the ground, as the tears kept coming and she expressed her grief in quiet sobs. There was a sudden change in the winds and one gust in particular brought a very familiar smell with it. Osprey raised her gaze to meet the one of her mother's. March Owl was standing mere feet away from her, regarding her kindly and tenderly, maybe a little sadly too. And out of million things Osprey wanted to say to and tell her mom, at this very moment there was only one that really mattered. "Keep them safe," she whispered.
This was the borderline for her, this was, where here time stopped, where the past belonged to the death and the future did not exist. Osprey lied down and curled up in a tight ball. The weather had changed and as she felt the first raindrops on her face and muzzle, she wished that with the same ease the rain could wash away the dust and dirt, it could also take her misery and pain away.
@Blue willow , but theoretically anyone, who knew that Osprey was expecting and who would happen to be nearby.
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Messages In This Thread
I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Osprey - April 09, 2015, 11:48 AM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Blue Willow - April 09, 2015, 12:24 PM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Osprey - April 09, 2015, 01:26 PM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Blue Willow - April 09, 2015, 01:37 PM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Osprey - April 09, 2015, 02:24 PM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Blue Willow - April 11, 2015, 11:07 AM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Dante RIP - April 09, 2015, 02:53 PM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Lasher - April 11, 2015, 10:22 PM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Osprey - April 16, 2015, 05:01 PM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Blue Willow - April 20, 2015, 08:25 AM
RE: I'll hold you inside me till the moon has gone and the sunlight come - by Lasher - April 20, 2015, 11:33 PM