Phoenix Maplewood Death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit

With spring creeping up on the wilds with every passing day, the maple wood should have felt alive and vibrant. Buds were beginning to form on the trees and bushes throughout the territory and the snow was largely melted away, but Saena felt chilly as she walked heavily through the territory, pregnant belly swaying. The signs of new life failed to inspire hope in her; she was downcast, fearful for how she would handle the birthing of her pups alone, even though she had an entire pack to support her in that.

But deep down, she felt invigorated and determined by the turn of events. She was determined to regain control over her pack, to wipe out the blight Reek had left on her reputation, and to erase all traces of his infidelity. This would begin with Tavi, but the beta proved elusive in the aftermath of the alphas' falling out and Saena was truthfully not in a hurry to find her, either. It was hard enough being cheated on by her mate—a fact she had not considered when she did it to him—but Tavi she counted among her friends, and that betrayal at times felt worse. At times it barely compared to the pain of losing her partner.

Licking her chops, she stopped and stared deadpan into a puddle of water, and was distraught by just how fat she had become. Pregnancy did not suit her; normally petite and slim, Saena had ballooned, swelling not only with pups but also light edema. Shaking her head, she splashed across the puddle and fought to stave off a fresh wave of tears.

She needed to be alone, and so Tavi had abandoned Reek to the outskirts of the pack. There wasn't much time before she would be forced to leave as well, and Tavi was going to make the most of it. She didn't know where to go next, and wasn't going to think about it until she absolutely had to - instead, the wolf chose to take her time and look around the territory. Tavi lingered at her den for a few hours first, laying within it, patrolling the area just outside of it, even spending twenty minutes or so just relaxing with Mortimer. Maybe she could bring him along? But it had taken two wolves to put him there, and an unfortunate cave-in to wedge the moose skull in to the earth. It was just a skull — she'd find more. It was sad to look upon it now, but Tavi would recover.

There was a brief plan brewing in her mind to fill in the den, to leave no trace of herself. But instead, Tavi pulled herself away from the pleasant memories the den represented, and paced through the trees. She came upon the small field in which she had watched the stars, next. From her vantage point, Tavi couldn't see anything but the blue sky; the spring had made the boughs brighter, the maplewood glowed with green wherever the sun touched the leaves. With a sigh, Tavi lowered her head and began to pace along once more — and that was when she spotted the figure. There was no mistaking Saena, even though she had gained a bit of weight.

Seeing the way her sides curved outward made Tavi sick to her stomach. At the same time, she couldn't watch as Reek's world came to a crashing halt — this was all her fault, and she was determined to try and fix it, as naive as that may have been. The woman cleared her throat, but didn't feel it necessary to speak; her posture deflated though, and Tavi kept a careful eye on Saena in case the round woman chose to become physical. No longer did Tavi appear the proud Beta, knowing full well that she had failed in ways that even Ukko could not.

She picked her pace up, hoping that a little speed would chase the tears from her eyes. For a time it worked, and she wound through the trees with as much agility as she could muster, but she was sorely lacking in the agile department these days and didn't get very far before she was winded. There was no longer a puddle to reveal to her just how large she had become in only a month and a half, but her eyes still pricked with tears.

Her heart stopped when from out of the trees came Tavi. For a time, she breathlessly juggled two conflicting feelings: breaking down and sobbing, and murdering the stupid bitch. She landed somewhere in between, glaring icily at the submissive beta female while her eyes finally let go of their tears and they rolled down her cheeks. She had considered Tavi a friend but Saena was as quick to let go of her friends as she was her family, and the transgression had been graver than any committed against her thus far in life.

"How could you?" she half-whispered, half-sobbed as a dam in her chest broke and rage and upset rushed to her face in an ugly, crying glower all at the same time.

This thread feels very important, lmao. And I have no idea what to write. So :/

Nothing could have prepared her for Saena's reaction. She anticipated anger, rage, a furiousity reserved for gilted lovers and angry gods. It was an awkward situation; this sobbing mess of an Alpha standing before her, and Tavi had no idea what to do about it. Her body could not stoop any lower. Her eyes could not meet Saena's, nor even look upon her face as it streaked and dripped with tears.

Her voice was.. Strong. Empowered by her hatred of her, maybe. The sound of it made Tavi flinch, and she had no idea what to say in response. 'It was an accident?' Sort of. 'It meant nothing' Yes, and no, and it really didn't matter. No, she couldn't fathom a response. Not at first. But something rose up in Tavi as she looked at the woman before her. This weighted, lonely woman. She knew how wrong this had all been, but Tavi wouldn't let anyone take her pride away from her.

It happened. I didn't plan it - neither of us did. But it happened. Her words were steel. Tavi had come here to try and convince Saena of something, but faced with her - she couldn't quite make it. Instead, words spilled from her without control: You need to get over it. It wasn't love, whatever we were doing. It was meaningless. What he has with you - had, whatever - he loves you. Okay, so she did try a little bit. However, Tavi felt a twist in her gut as she spoke, and by the end she lost her fire. This was not going to end well. So we had some fun. You're going to throw him away because of one moment of stupidity? More than one, she mentally corrected, but did not put a voice to the thought.

She expected Tavi to answer with excuses and apologies. Instead, the beta female told her to get over it, as if all that Reek had done was bring her the wrong colour rabbit, or call her a fat whale. The alpha female's ears flew back and fire sparked in her indigo eyes, until her gaze was wholly consumed by blue flame. She heard everything Tavi said but acknowledged none of it for the time being. She neither accepted the idea that Reek loved her after what he had done nor accepted that it was just a mistake. She'd watched him cheat twice, once with her and once on her, and wasn't stupid enough to consider it a mistake twice.

Instead of responding to Tavi's insistence that Reek loved her and the implication that she was overreacting, Saena roared, "you shouldn't have let it happen!" at Tavi, who should have known better and should have spurned Reek's advances because she knew full well he had a pregnant mate, and then she was thundering toward her beta with her jaws agape, ready to grab her by her neck, wring it and and fling her to the ground. She was pregnant but that made her all the more aggressive, and she was still able to barrel forward with the force of a raging hurricane in spite of it. She wouldn't be told to get over it by the very subordinate who directly threatened her authority and her children by being a slut with her mate.

Saena could get over being called names, being called out on her avoidance of commitment, and even being told she was overreacting about something reasonable. She could've gotten over it if Reek had ever told her he was unhappy with how often she travelled to soothe her troubled soul. She could've gotten over her fledgling feelings for Luke and chosen Reek, because although she didn't really want them, she would've sacrificed her own feelings for her cubs (and a part of her really did love her ex-mate). But with his actions, Reek had made Saena feel like Wynter, when she felt she was the only reason he had ever amounted to anything more than a sad, wallowing lump of fur, and when she felt personally responsible for all of his successes. By fucking Tavi in spite of his mate and their unborn pups, Reek had told her he was ungrateful, selfish, and not devoted at all to his family—all qualities that not only disgusted her, but reminded her of Peregrine.

And though Saena was more like Peregrine than she would ever admit, it was seeing him in Reek, and knowing that Reek's only defense for himself was that their pups deserved to know him when what they deserved was not to have a father that cared more about sating his dick than their wellbeing, that she could never forgive him. And it was for that reason that she could not get over it, and that, plus the satisfaction of strangling the bitch Reek had chosen over her and their pups, was why she attacked Tavi outright.

She was right, of course. Everything she felt was valid. But Tavi couldn't see that. The ex-beta saw a wrongness in what they had done together, yes, but to some degree it didn't matter to her. It had just been sex - not love, not a mateship, just a casual thing that happened, and was over. Of course, nothing was that simple; no matter how Tavi tried to justify things, there was no justifaction to be found.

And then, Saena was rushing at her. Her pace was slower than it should've been, but the emotion which powered the Alpha was enough - she grabbed for Tavi, and the girl, being unwilling to hurt a woman carrying any form of life, let it happen. Teeth tank in to flesh, blood sprang up through the tearing of skin and began to wet her fur. Tavi let out a sharp squeal as the teeth connected, and instinctively pulled back.

Tavi yanked herself free, leaving Saena with a mouthful of fur, skin, and blood. She was quite the sight. It was enough to weaken Tavi at the knees; of course, so did the fresh wound to the side of her neck. I know that -- Saena --

This was a bad idea. No mentally proficient adulterer would choose to confront the wife (or husband) of their partner; and yet, here she was, being a fool. Thinking she could fix all of this with a few words of logic - but there was no logic here. What Tavi and Reek had done had been illogical, and had ruined the Maplewood. Or at least, they had destroyed Saena - which was practically the same.

Tavi dragged her steps back, trying to get some distance between herself and the Alpha. She was sluggish but not immobilized, and her voice strained through a mouthful of blood. I didn't mean for it to, ugn, to happen, turning her head, she spat a red line in to the grass. I want to fix it. I want... I.. there was no way to fix this, was there?

Her teeth sank into Tavi's flesh and she tasted her beta's blood on her tongue. This was the last thing she ever imagined would happen—she had truly believed in Tavi when she promoted her to beta, and had been intending to have Tavi be the closest thing to an aunt her children would ever have—but all that had gone out the window when Tavi had let Reek mount her. Now all Saena could see when she looked at her beta, her friend, was her mate's face twisted in pleasure, and the image of him atop her playing over and over in her mind made her absolutely sick to her stomach.

Tavi pulled away and she made a half-step to grab again, but feigned instead with a sharp snap of her teeth that made her jaw rattle. Snarling with her hackles fully lifted, the alpha female let loose the full force of her ferocity with a stamp of her paw on the loam. The sight of blood fresh and bright on Tavi's coat fueled her anger, and it was only Tavi's voice that made her stop momentarily and snort like a bull.

"He did," she snarled, pinning her ears against her head so hard they disappeared. "I should know, he did it with me, then did it with you, and he'll do it with the next pretty thing that crosses his path, again and again," and here she chortled, inexplicably and inappropriately mirthful, like someone giggling at a funeral. "I was wrong to believe he ever loved anyone but himself, and I was wrong to believe you were a friend. You've disrespected me completely, and you dare come here and tell me to get over it?" For Saena, who struggled with loyalty due to everyone leaving her in her early life, cheating was the absolute worst crime beneath abandonment, and she was even angrier because she was guilty too.

"Get out," she snapped, glowering and bristling and fully expecting to be obeyed lest she charge again. "And don't ever come crying to me when he throws you away." Vengeful to the very end, she said it with the intent of preventing Reek from getting anything further from anyone, including Tavi. While she blamed her beta just as much as her ex-mate, she knew what it was to be the other woman. She could sympathize a little, when she wasn't busy envisioning ways to kill her, and if she could say anything to make Tavi turn on Reek too, she would do it.

Tavi expected more of a lashing, on and on and on, until there was nothing left of her but a red pulp covered in gray fur; instead, Saena snapped at her and stopped. Tavi stumbled away, dragging herself through the grass and pulling away at piles of leaves littering the forest floor. What Saena said stabbed in to Tavi's mind. Her teeth set in a grimace while the other woman spoke - then, laughing, Tavi lifted her eyes to witness a brief madness upon her once-friend's face.

I am your friend. She stated quietly, meekly, but was cut off when Saena made her final pronouncement. It wasn't until this moment that Tavi felt her own eyes welling with tears - something she hadn't expected of herself, being so self righteous with her intent. 

A sheen of tears spread across her vision. Tavi staggered, blood seeping from the fresh wound upon her neck, and wordlessly fled from Saena's sight.

Inexplicably, Saena's eyes welled with tears, too, even though she felt justified. She was overwhelmed by stress, betrayal, and hurt. It hurt to send Tavi away too. It hurt to feel so much hatred toward her that seeing her wounded brought a rush of satisfaction. It hurt to think that Tavi could possibly have been the female in heat and could be carrying Reek's pups as well, fetus bastard half-siblings to her cubs, who deserved a whole family and would now have neither a steady father nor a godmother. She wanted desperately to believe it was unlikely, and for the moment, did. What truly hurt most was the idea that Tavi thought what she had done with Reek was no big deal when it had utterly broken Saena and proved how very much she had cared about her ex-mate, and the possibility that Reek didn't even regret it, though she didn't know that and it also seemed unlikely.

"Friends don't have sex their pregnant friend's mate!" Saena snarled after Tavi's retreating form, but she didn't overly care if her former beta had heard her acidic jab. That's all it was, anyway: a jab. She stalked her with long strides, but she was hindered and slowed by her pregnancy and an unwillingness to chase in order to hide the tears streaming down her face, and soon lost sight of Tavi. With her teeth gritted, she snarled senselessly into the silence of the forest and paced in agitated circles, then eventually broke down sobbing against a tree and finally fell asleep curled up in the roots, the only comfort she could find.