Blackfeather Woods From the ground up

@Malice

For once Burke could return home with something. The male had gone quite the length to find a meal for Malice, after all if he wanted all three to survive that Malice would need to eat. His own meals were cut in half too, he was not complaining, he had chosen for this after all. The male did hate being so low in the pack rankings. He did not feel he belonged here. He stayed clear from other wolves, not even wanting to see their face.

He entered the den with a dead duck between his jowls. He placed it before Malice and sank down on his haunches. A soft sigh came from his throat. Though Burke did not look as tired as he did before, all he did now was try to find food for his little family. Burke's eyes fell on Malice. He had been quite the wolf to deal with after all of this happened. "I shouldn't have reacted my frustration out on you," he spoke to her. "Though i am still angry, I will try not to be angry towards you, because I am not mad at you," he spoke to her. He was mad at himself that it happened.

Life sure hadn't been nice for the Lanius-Rochester family with all the madness and frustration going on, especially not now Burke barely talked to her. Every night she struggled to fall asleep, afraid her nightmares would rule over her like a plague like they had done the first week in Teekon. She was afraid; afraid her kids might be taken from her by Dickhead Damien and Nasty Nemesis, afraid Burke might never talk to her again, afraid little Pyro wouldn't make it through the famine. She was even afraid she might be locked in here forever, or maybe killed with her pups. Burke probably hadn't noticed her tear-stained face every morning, but yes, she had cried- a lot. Here she thought they could be a happy family, that she would get accepted, that her children would grow up to be just as great as their father. But all seemed lost now.

This morning she awoke to find no Burke behind her and the kids sleeping. Had he really left? N-No, he would never leave her to die here. Her thoughts wandered off to all the nice moments they had spent with each other, all leading up to their last interaction thus far. Him growling and snarling at her while she had only tried to help. She could understand part of why he had done it, but that did not make it hurt less. She loved him, she was quite sure of that now, and feeling as if her love was not returned made her feel even more miserable. not even the sight of the sleeping Vassago and Pyro could cheer her up as a single tear streamed out of her good eye. She nosed to two balls of fur softly, giving them both a lick on their tiny heads, before there was someone in the den opening.

A small gasping noise left her mouth as the dead duck was placed before her, and she quickly shoved her face into her own fur to remove her salty tears. As she looked up again, she saw the handsome sight of Burke, and it hurt her heart seeing his face. She wanted to love him, she wanted to be close to him and she wanted that attention to be returned.

She sighed with him, her eyes focused on the ground now. The apology was accepted, though it still didn't tell her if he loved her in return. She still needed to say something though. It's okay... It's partly my fault too... She breathed, trying hard to control her voice and her emotions. If only-... If only I hadn't gone out that day when I was in heat, none of this would've happened...

Burke eyed over Malice and how she reacted. He had been a therapist, or well he was trying to be one. He could read of on emotions and how Malice was looking it was telling him more than enough. He knew too that she was a bit emotional at times. He watched her face and how she babbled non-sense. "No, Malice. You being in heat is not the problem. It was my own fault. I am god damn 6 years old, and I still chased my dick like a fucking 2 year old," he spoke, the pups were still somewhat deaf right?

Burke let out a soft snort and then inhaled sharply, calming himself down. The large male softened his gaze towards her. "This is not your fault. I am not mad at you. Just----," he stopped talking and now looked away himself. "Very hurt,"he mumbled softly. He thought his pack was better than Malice her pack and they weren't. It was kind of pathetic now he thought about it. He trusted and loved them and they just turned their backs to him. Now they were kind of trapped in this forest. Almost like prisoners. His young would be used to see if they would make it into the brotherhood. He was certain Pyro was not going to make it. Small sickly thing.

Burke let out a long sigh and then shook his head lightly. "Eat, Malice. I went great lengths to get this fresh meat. It is good meat too. This duck flew from somewhere well fed," he spoke and nudged it closer. It was at least something, he would not have hunted it if he didn't care.

She sighed again at his words. Perhaps they had both been a little irresponsible. But neither of them could have predicted the famine, and neither of them could have predicted how the Dark Brotherhood would react. They certainly weren't the victims here, but to call them the evil doers wouldn't be right either. Still, Malice only blamed herself and the Brotherhood; for if they had been kind and had given her a chance, all their lives would've been better. Pyro and Vassago were the victims here, for if they remained, they would be used. Malice was a great fighter, but she couldn't defend her pups from a whole pack minus Cicero and possibly Kendra. 

Then why do I have this feeling all would've been better if I had stayed at Phantom Hollow? She spoke, her voice cracking. She didn't mind the cursing, only pulled a "shh, the kids are sleeping" face before moving on. I mean, just look at us. She let her eyes dart around the den in which she had been for way too long. We are prisoners! She exclaimed just slightly louder, but tone still soft and cracking here and there.

Her golden eyes were only slightly sparkling with tears, but unlike burke, she could control her emotions and talk about them openly- most of the time. It was no secret that she was avoiding confessing her love for him, fearing rejection more than anything. Just the slightest nudge and their whole bond would be broken. It's not your fault, Burke. They are foolish, minus your daughter and Cicero. She admitted. I have witnessed what a great leader you are and how well you treated them, even Nemesis for that matter, and to toss you aside like that, I just-I just wanna... She made an angry face and a clicking noise with her tongue, moving her neck at the same time. It was meant to look like a wolf breaking their neck, but it might have looked just plain silly. 

She let the air slowly flee her lungs, her eyes now resting on the dead duck he had brought. She didn't feel hungry at all, her emotions being enough to feed an entire pack, but to refuse meant trouble with the stoic man. Thank you... She said softly, pulling the duck just a little bit closer before eating. At her first bite she noticed that her body was actually pretty hungry, but she couldn't eat it all. That was not the way she was raised, for even the brute of Lucifer Peak had been taught manners- most of them at least. She left some meat for Burke, since she really wasn't the only one in this world. Besides, Burke starving would mean death to her as well.

Burke shook his head slowly, there was no way of knowing if her life was better now or not. There were so many possibilities. They chose one path and that was what they had to deal with right now. Burke inhaled softly. "No. Because with this famine they might have not hunted for you, or had trouble to, or might not even want to. Then you would have to hunt yourself and leave your pups behind, which meant their death or your own if you wouldn't have left them," he explained, or at least his vision what he thought about.

The male listen to Malice talk. He could definitely agree with her on a few aspects. Not all though. "I don't know about my daughter, or about Cicero. Kendra always has been.... living in her own world. She hasn't come to see us, and I am not sure if that is because of Damien keeping her or if she is just oblivious," he stated. He loved Kendra but she was not really one to be predictable. Burke let out a soft growl. "You have seen her. She was crazy. Mentally ill or something. And now that is leading this pack, they will be great, don't you think?," he let out sarcastically. Malice had seen at the time how Nemesis behaved when she was all crazy and out of it. She still had this, this was not resolved. Burke shook his head, clearly angry about this.

"They're foolish," he huffed. His eyes on her, head nodding once in reply to the thank you. He let her eat, secretly pleased that she left something for him. He clean the bones, even biting and trying to eat those too. His eyes fell on the two pups sleeping at Malice her side. He looked back at Malice. "Do you trust me?," he asked, thinking of that time with Bullet,or what ever her name was. "100% if you life depended on it?," he added.

I meant before...us Malice said. N-Not that I am not happy with our... friendship, it's just... She tried to correct it, but did not succeed. She didn't want it to sound like: "Everything would've been better if I had never met you". She would trade the whole world for a moment with him. It's complicated... She said at last, her eyes blinking away the nervousness that came with them being together. 

Kendra is, oh how to put it... Malice agreed. Peculiar. She ended, having no other words in her dictionary that described the dark girl better. She flinched at the slightest mention of the woman slapper Damien, and she did not feel the need to talk about him. He was a waste of her breath, and even a single second spent on him was a curse. But next came a juicy talk; the former alpha talking shit about his former beta. Absolutely fucking splendid. She replied sarcastically as well. This pack will surely go the distance with them as leaders, bloody hell. She rolled her eyes and let out the smallest of chuckles.

Malice nodded in agreement at his statement. They are blinded by hate and disgust. They could learn some friendship and compassion from the Moonlit Wolves. She almost wanted to laugh, but then remembered she had left Moonlit Hills to rot and die in hell. She was not the best, she had learned, and this just proved it.

And then came a question that was not suspected. I-I... She stuttered, flustered by the sudden change of subject. I think I do a little more than trust you with my life... She replied vaguely, her eyes now pointed at the ground, her cheeks getting hot.

Burke swallowed when Malice started to go in a very dangerous direction. They didn't need to label their relationship right? If it was a friendship or something much more? The male was pretty okay with leaving it vague like it was now. Luckily she seemed to change topic while Burke's brain was still over analyzing what she just said. He had a feeling she was lightly crushing on him, but that was just... a compliment. If it was something more then he would... What would he do?

Kendra was a bit curious, but she was not vile or evil. She was a bit like Cicero, yet different two. But he could imagine that the two would get along pretty well. Burke nodded slowly. "She is, but, it makes her who she is." Burke was proud of his daughter, even though he was not sure he could trust her anymore, or if someone was keeping her from visiting him. Did she even know what went down? Burke let out a long sigh when Malice agreed with him. "We will have to see for ourselves. I hope not, this was such a great pack." His relationship with them though was ruined.

Then Malice returned his question in a way he did not expect her to reply it. Burke's eyes widened a bit. It was not at all what he had been meaning with his question. He had other ideas with that, but now he looked back at it, he realized that Malice was already trusting him with his life, he was her food provider. The large male looked a bit startled. The way she looked down and looked flustered. Was this... A love confession? He could not deal with this right now, could he? If he would mate her or even confess something like that to her, then it might make things even worse if the others would find out. He was not sure if he could even trust Malice. Was this all a trick?!

Burke seemed to have encountered an error in his brain. For once not knowing how to respond. He could just brush it off, but then he hurt her feelings, and well, he did care for her, otherwise he would not go such lengths to find food. Did he love her? God, maybe he did. He was reminded by Bullet (Osprey's) words, how love happened and you were lucky if you survived. That damn female. How did she knew all those things. She was probably gifted or something. They talked about things before that and then later it would actually happen. Curious. Burke let out a shaky breath. Did he trust her too? He did tell her about his past, bits. But he did tell her, that was the first step right?

The male glanced over Malice. He wanted to keep everyone away, so he wouldn't get hurt again. If he opened his heart to her that he might get hurt again. Especially if they were trapped here and the brotherhood--- Instantly he changed his mind. He chose her before, he wanted her close. "Good. That was all I needed to hear," he spoke sounding a bit collected again, but his troubled face was something that Malice probably had seen. There were at least feelings there.

Malice felt like they needed to label their relationship. It would only hurt her to keep her hopes up and that in the end she would be rejected anyway. She didn't like this unstable thread they were dancing on, afraid of falling-not for falling for him, but for falling in depression if he didn't feel the same way. She loved him, but perhaps she was living in a dream. 

I didn't mean it offensively. Malice replied calmly with a small smile. She was quite nice to me. She even said she was excited for her half-siblings. Malice informed, not knowing if burke knew of Kendra visiting her. The young girl had been so straight forward and curious it had confused Malice. Still, it had been quite humorous too. With you as the alpha, I can surely believe that. Malice complimented. She then looked at him.

He seemed so conflicted with himself, and that wasn't a good sign. What if he barely liked her? Was she not pretty with her scar? That damned Judas with his weird-ass ways of dealing with things. He really doesn't love you dear, just give it up. Malice sighed at the quiet. It had been a confession for sure, but she doubted he would do the same. Of course, she was not perfect, but neither was he. well, in her eyes he was, but still. She sighed again at his reply. Burke... She breathed out.

Do you trust me, like that, too?

Burke quirked up his lips and nodded. "I know you didn't," he assured her. He was surprised to her that Kendra visited Malice. He was kind of planning something but that would mean he might have to disappoint his daughter. There was no time. "That is sweet of her. I might go see her soon then," he spoke, or at least look for her as an excuse while hunting.

Malice asked him that one question he didn't want to answer. It was clear that Malice wanted him. He had so many excuses. He was old, what did she even want with him. But when he thought about it. He would have left her and this pack if he didn't care for her. And he hadn't left. He stayed against his will so he could care for her, he didn't trust the brotherhood anymore. "I... do, or well, starting to," he spoke and swallowed. It was tough for him to admit. He decided to settle next to her.

Malice chuckled sweetly. Of course he knew. He knew her better than most. It had certainly been sweet of Kendra to visit. She had been so lonely that day with Burke out patrolling. Well, he didn't have to do that anymore. She wondered why he was still here. He had said he just worked and worked to forget his pain. Was he now slowly breaking? Could she fix it? No, she couldn't be this Meldresi. She could, however, be Malice. Perhaps his former mate had been beautiful, sweet and kind, but were that things everyone had to have to be loved by Burke? She didn't think so. She was Malice, and he would love the daughter of Lucifer. She would make him forget about his tragic past.

She awaited a response anxiously. Every time he breathed, she held her breath, afraid for the words; "I do care for you, but not in that way." This was her first love confession, even with her former mate. Cog and her had been nothing, this was real, this was something. And when he did finally reply, she let her breath slowly slip out. Was this a confession? She didn't know, but as he settled, she scooted closer to him.

Burke, I am afraid I have fallen harder than ever before... She whispered, hoping to not wake up Vassago and Pyro.

Burke laid there next to her as Malice shifted against him more. She confessed that she was had fallen even more for him now. To Burke this was only a confirmation that he had chosen right, that she did care for him truly. If she would have wanted him for his power she would have left him. He was powerless, old and difficult to communicate with. Not something that was easy to love.

Burke licked over her cheek. "Not sure how you even came to feel for me in this way," he admitted. But he was at least accepting it. He was not agreeing that they were keeping Malice inside the den until they were on solids. That meant that Malice would stay inside for a much longer time, like a prisoner. He didn't trust them, so his belief that they were going to let Malice try and prove herself seemed bullshit to him.

Never would Malice love for wealth. Well, maybe the past Malice would, but not the Malice laying next to Burke right now. This love had organically bloomed, and that-in her book- was the best. Perhaps only now could she understand her father's decision to chose her mother. It had been love, too. Now she saw, now she felt herself how powerful it was. And now she imagined one of their sons killing Burke. Oh, how devastated she would be- how devastated she had made her father feel with killing her mother.

Her body tingled all over at his touch. Never had he done this, but she had. It was lovely, just like him. Perhaps she had gotten what she had hoped for; a family Neither do I... Malice admitted honestly. I guess life and fate are just weird in this way. She shared her thought, but then yawned. It was only morning, but laying in a den for around 3 weeks had drained more energy out of her that one might think. Still, she wouldn't sleep, not yet.