Hushed Willows staggering defeat

she was not well; that much she knew. what had occurred within the den was something she had not been able to control, something violent and dark, something she had not wished upon even her children. no matter her inability to be a proper mother, she had grown to realize this life was not her own but one shared with three young begins, unable to free themselves from her. it was not their fault they had earned themselves a mother so damaged that she  felt she could not love them, no. it was purely her own. they would know her anger, yes, and her sorrow, yes, but she knew as true as the night and the day, she could not let them feel her pain. it was beyond anything they deserved, beyond what was moral and what was humane. amara, as futile and undeserving as she was, could not loose yet another thing that would tear her apart. 

she would need to try. 

“hI, MOM, TIME FOR ME TO RETURN HOME !!” p.s. assuming Amara is laying down, but correct me if I’m wrong. ♥

Every time the sun rose, he seemed to grow more. Less and less time was being spent within the confines of the den, for he wished to escape the loveless place as often as he could get away with. Since having acquired his first taste of freedom, he’d grown greedy. Every ounce of independence would be his, in due time, and then his darling mother would regret having ever cast him aside. She would wish that she’d given him the love and attention that he deserved, for he would make sure of it. Yet, all of that would have to be saved for the future. Though he was growing—at this rate, he was sure to reach the mass of his father in no time at all—he was still far too small to take such a stand. It was necessary that he bide his time for now, tolerating the lack of affections until the day came that he could do something about it.

Eros had been out and staring up at the willows, enjoying the dance that they always seemed to perform just for him, when a large gust of wind pushed passed him. A shiver wracked his body, the trembling being borderline violent as a combination of surprise and frustration filled his very being. Too cold was it now for him to remain out in the open, and so back towards the den had he trudged, freezing in the entrance. Through the darkness he could see the form of his mother, her presence there confusing him greatly. And though he was interested to find out what she was doing there, he’d not approached her, having instead attempted to round her body and escape to the back of the den. Things had been going well, too, until he’d tripped over his own feet and stumbled forward.

Neither into her side nor against the floor had his body crashed, but towards her backside had he gone down at last. He’d fallen just right—he couldn’t replicate that even if he’d tried to—so as to have his face smack into his mother’s hind quarters, nose finding its way to a place where it definitely did not belong as he accidentally goosed Amara. Stunned, he’d lingered there for a moment before realizing where he was, and then responded by jolting upwards and retreating towards the closet wall of the den.

i can't believe this is happening rn o m g

she did not even feel his presence behind her until it was too late; a squeak released from her as she sat upright in a tensed action that spoke only of surprise rather than anger. wide eyed, she was unable to determine exactly what she was supposed to say, how to act in light of the rather awkward occurrence that had just taken place. instead, she simply stared at the child, meeting his startled expression with her own. "um," her mouth opened and closed, still quite unsure what to even say at this point; whether or not to correct the boy or not for she was sure his, erm.. landing was of an accident rather than on purpose. at least, she hoped so. "it's .. it's okay, eros. i am not angry, it was an accident," she spoke, calm. deep breath. "just.. try not to do that again, okay? some may not like that, especially if it is a stranger, you understand?" ears flickered as she timidly attempted to reach out to the child, unlike she had really ever done before. perhaps it was the thought of some savage loner bearing down upon the boy, should he ever accidentally trip up the same way again. 

"it's okay," she sighed, calling him out of the shadows of the den for there was nothing to fear from her. "are you... okay?" eyes washed over the child, searching for an sign of physical injury though she suspected none. the fall had been cushioned by, well, her; leaving little room for the boy to actually injury himself rather than be stunned by his obscure landing position. there was little more she could say at that point, for their relationship had been one distant enough without her launching into a talk of right and wrong concerning private bodily parts; yet another thing she had failed in for had she fulfilled her role, the mishap was one that would have hardly been noticed and the child would not have instinctively cowered in fear of what she might have done. 

There was a squeak heard, which had only made him press himself closer to the wall. He didn’t understand what he had done or how it had happened, but something told him that it wasn’t right. He should not have landed as he had, nor should he have lingered afterwards. Then, to top it all off, she’d looked back and began staring at him. Eros had learned long ago that his mother hated him. The reason for why she could not love her children, he did not know, but he was aware enough not to understand that she did not treat him as a parent should. There was never any love given from her to him, and so, on some level, he feared what she might decide to do to him. Would she attack? Kill? There wasn’t a single detail regarding his mother that he was aware of, and so he knew not what to expect. If he was supposed to run, he’d have never known it, and so he remained pressed against the wall even after she had started to speak.

I am not angry.

What? That was new. Despite the many thoughts that told him what he’d done was wrong, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d discovered the secret to earning his mother’s affections. If he went where he had before, would that prompt her to hand over the love that he felt he was owed? A step forward was taken, whilst every nerve in his body screamed at him: no! Stay where you are! There was another step, and then he froze, her words hinting that his doings had not been correct at all. It confused him, though. She was not angry with him, but he had done something bad. Who was this strange woman, and where had his mother gone? On second thought, he didn’t care. Wherever Old Amara had disappeared to didn’t matter to him, because he liked New Amara a lot better.

Eros nodded his head, confirming that he was okay—terribly confused and unable to process what was happening, but okay. Slowly, his place in the shadows was abandoned entirely as he made his way towards the female. As he crept closer, however, he couldn’t help but eye whatever it was that he had landed on only a few minutes ago. What was it, and what did it do? Little did he know that the questions he had were best left unanswered until he was a bit older, given their context. Pulling his gaze away from her crotch, he tilted his chin back until he was staring up at her. It was then that he said, “Eros… bad,” for they were some of the few words that he knew, and because they seemed to fit the situation.