Dragoncrest Cliffs watch those words rise with a smoke

@Thuringwethil I remember somewhere in the con haze and bad wifi that you wanted a new thread so. <3

Drageda was on edge.

Tirgatao always had a sixth-sense for this sort of thing—everyone's emotions were elevated. Between the Nereides meeting, Heda's fall, and the two pregnant woman due to give birth in mere days, there was a lot of hustle and bustle in and among the clan. Tirgatao herself had little time to prepare for the children that would, inevitably, be swept up beneath her busom as she entertained and educated them with tales of Seageda or expectations the clan had for them. Their parents, of course, would do most of the work but she was prepared to act as their teacher and mentor nonetheless. Her title was not for the adults alone.

But today, a cloudless but seasonably warm day, Tirgatao found time to sit down and enjoy the soon-to-be rare moment of peace and quiet. She lay beside the great lake, not far from where Portia and Wildfire had chosen to claim their dens, and stared out at the glassy surface of the water. A few ducks paddled by just out of reach of her predatory jaws, but her stomach was full from some scavanged meat off an older deer kill. No, she was glad for the quiet. Soon it would be filled with squaling children, and cooing mothers; snarls of sleepless parents, and concerned whines of subordinates.

But she envied them. Soon, her heat would come, and it would go, just as it always had. She harbored no disillusions about bearing her own young, and had already planned on sequestering herself away from any temptation until it passed. Still, there was something bitter that lodged itself in her throat every time birthing season came about. Tirgatao was always a happy observer of children growing up, becoming adults and being successful, but she'd never known the pride that came from rearing her own flesh and blood.

With a sigh she lay her chin upon her outstretched paws and lay her ears back against her ruff.

Thuringwethil struggles more and more to hide the tension as she moves through the territory. It is a matter of days before not one, but two, of their women give birth and one being her mate and while things seem like they are in place, she can’t help but feel the exact opposite. They’ve settled well in the cliffs with little problems. The two trespassers in their beginning are long gone (and she can’t care why) and everyone is blooming in a way they should be as a pack. Not even the commanders have been visiting her in her sleep as much which, on a typical day, would be a good thing.

Now, none of it even feels real.

She emerges from the trees that come up to the lake, turning her head to instantly spot Tirgatao lounging in the distance. Thuringwethil stands in place for a long moment, taking a breath as she slips out into the opening and curves the bank of the lake. Her movements are slow, careful, and she makes sure not to exert herself. The spar with Eske from the other day had taken a set back to her healing and she knows she can’t let it happen again. She departed ways from the new guard a little while ago as she heads back to the cavern where there is little to worry about and the company of her advisor is enough to keep her feeling okay.

With a shaky breath released from her muzzle, she chuffs as she finally closes the last bit of distance between them.

The Shouna was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't hear Heda's approach until the Commander chuffed to announce her arrival. Both ears twisted wildly atop her skull, and she lifted her head to point her nose in the direction of the sound as her warm brown eyes alighted to the flinty steel of Thuringwethil's own. Her initial surprise faded quickly, though her eyes did drift to the Commander's ribs with a flicker of concern. "I imagine she won that spar?" Tirgatao chided while a knowing smirk punctuated her question. Eske was Cheka now, and the pale advisor could not imagine a more suitable fit for the role. If only it had happened sooner...

She gave a quick shake of her head to settle the slightly bristled fur on her neck, and motioned for the Commander to join her. "Everything is about to change, soon. We have a whole gaggle of chicks to watch, not to mention the pups..." Tirgatao was not really one for jokes, but she clearly enjoyed that one. She thumped her tail. "Did you need something from me?"

Thuringwethil smirks when she realizes she’s startled the woman, waving her tail that’s even with her spine. Any higher is an unnecessary pull against her chest that she doesn’t need and she has no doubt Tirgatao does not know their differences. When asked about Eske, however, she snorts once and eases a few steps closer to settle in. “She has had great teachers over the months,” she says with a fond smile. Her parents are both great warriors, as is the rest of the pack. It is not surprise she takes after them in such a strong way.

When her eyes drop to the ground, the space Tirgatao had motioned to, she stares for several seconds longer. Getting up and down have been the least favorite parts about the injury. If she can keep in one position without moving for a while, the pain begins to fade, but she’s quickly reminded of it when she has to move a certain way. By the time she’s on the ground, Thuringwethil grunts with a force of pain shooting through her chest.

“I didn’t think it would be that different than just being a part of them, as I have been with Gyda’s child,” she explains, thinking fondly of Eske. The others have long departed from her attachment, for Heda cannot spare her protection to those that do not follow. Thuringwethil exhales with a wince, considering the question. She had not come looking for something but that does not mean it isn’t true. “I’m just glad you’re here,” she finally says with a single thump of her tail, casting a glance from her spot out over the lake.

She nodded firmly in agreement with Thuringwethil's assessment. Eske was an excellent choice and, perhaps, the only choice she would have supported for the role. The young Cheka possessed the unconquerable drive to succeed, and the intelligence to make it happen. With her at the helm of Heda's personal guard, there was very few scenarios Tirgatao could conjure up that would prove to be anything but a minor nusance. 

But she didn't linger on the thought for long, and neither did Heda whom joined her after gingerly settling herself down on the soft shore line. She wanted to say something, but the pang of guilt still harried at her, so she decided to supress it and instead continue on with the thread of conversation. "I suppose you're right." Tirgatao hedged. She hadn't been around for Gyda's children—she was only now seeing the fruits of the Viking Queen and Gavriel's labor as the young warrior blossomed into her own. In Seageda, for the first few months post-birth, it seemed that the entire dynamic of the family core seemed to revolve entirely around the young, vunerable lives of their future kin. The distraction was something Tirgatao was both anticipating and dreading. 

It's these quiet moments with the Commander that she enjoys the most, and she is reminded of that fact when Thuringwethil remarks on it. She, too, thumped her tail and reached over to nose Heda's chin in a display of complacency and fondness. "There is no where else I'd rather be than here with you, and Drageda." she murmured as she pulled away to return her gaze to the lake. A few waterfowl squabbled in the distance.

A thought occured to her then; sudden and intrusive, but there was no one else she would rather share it with than Heda. "Have you considered the chance of there being a fos goufa born with these litters, or are Portia and Wildfire sure they're carrying multiple children?"

She wrinkles her nose when Tirgatao offers an affectionate skim of her nose against her chin and she closes her eyes for a moment, returning it fairly with a lick on the top of her nose. There have been many that have come through and many have not stayed for one purpose or another. The comfort of Tirgatao and her loyalty is enough that things might begin to grow as they had in Seageda and their lives will no longer be on hold. That, without her, Drageda will continue to thrive.

When Tirgatao’s question comes, her ears flatten against her skull in thought.

“I don’t know about Portia but Wildfire thinks she’s going to have ten puppies,” she says with a smirk. It’s unlikely. Right? She casts a look toward Tirgatao with the thought, but the opposite is just as terrifying. “And I don’t want to be the one that has to take the only child from her,” she explains, half joking, half serious. With all the stress they’ve gone through over the months that just revolved around the puppies alone, Thuringwethil can’t imagine how that would go.

Thuringwethil is quiet for a moment, though contemplative, as she recollects all the details that the three wolves share among one another. Not a one of them have Drageda blood in them and, so, it seems unlikely a Fos Goufa will grow within them. The chance is there, she supposes, as they’ve given their lives over, but would the others even accept them as their next ruler? The child of an outsider? “I’m not certain the commanders would allow that to happen, anyway.”

"Ten?!" Tirgatao gasped, copper eyes widening with shock. Had they actually counted? Was Wildfire's family unnaturally fertile? "No offense intended, but I surely hope not. I think Dio might actually faint and they should be kind enough to spare him the embarassment." she joked with a airy laugh, unable to truly mask the surprise in her voice. Even if both litters were managable between two parents, ten puppies from one mother would be both a feat and a curse. Drageda had grown, yes, but it still required the attention of it's Hedonarku which would be understandably split between familial duties and that of the pack. Ten puppies... she wasn't sure her brain could even handle that many.

They fell into peaceful silence, and Tirgatao allowed herself a few moments to consider the idea of a Fos Goufa in a little greater detail. Thuringwethil was not an older wolf, but their way of life was unpredictable and harsh. There was no telling what each day would bring and if it would mean her downfall, by death, illness, or murder. Honestly, the last one ignited a great deal of anxiety within Tirgatao even though she had little reason to assume any decitful plots were in the works.

"Doubtful," she agreed with a nod. "but it is a topic I want to revisit soon. You know how drastically things can change in a day."

Thuringwethil huffs a breath of air in place of a laugh. She doesn’t think Wildfire will actually have ten, and likely Tirgatao doesn’t either, but the way her mate spoke of things… she wouldn’t be surprised if she felt that way. The only thing she really hopes for is that she is blessed with more than one child, living or not, to spare the pain of more things than she can come up with in the moment.

When Tirgatao moves on about the fate of their land, she nods her head. They are not guaranteed the next day and her position is often dangerous. Near their former home further up the coast, their lives were often at risk, but the Teekon has proven quiet once she’d settled her roots in.

“If that is not the topic you want to speak about now, what is?” she asks with a slight tilt of her head, curious if something rested on the advisor’s mind. It gave her a distraction from her own stress hanging out in the back of her mind.

Tirgatao flinched when Thuringwethil probed for what was at the heart of her unease. It was not an unkind gesture—Heda was not often savage towards her, though her demeanor consistently suggested that it would be wise not to cross her. The corner of her mouth quirked into an odd little half-grimace, and she suddenly became quite interested in the way the tiny waves lapped into the muddy shore line. Her paws flexed and her claws punctured the soft ground. Though the day was kind, and the weather warm, she still felt the ache that came with the season. Now that Heda had asked her directly, she could not find a reason to hide it any longer. 

With a glance spared towards her Commander, Tirgatao spoke, "Perhaps it's hormones and the scent of their milk coming in that sucks me into this depression, but ever year I've wondered what it would be like to rear my own children." She explained with a uneasy twist of her ear. "I don't even know if I would be good at it, really. But if I can depart this world having made Drageda better than it was before, and leave a legacy in the form of my own flesh and blood, then I will have fulfilled everything I set out to do in life."

She sucked in a breath. "It's wistful thinking at best. In truth, I don't seek it blindly for the sake of completing my dream. I would rather it come naturally and, if it doesn't, then I can only hope that I've done all I can do."

If Thuringwethil ever wondered what it would be like to have children of her own, it had never been something she dwelled on for long. It was never more than a fleeting thought of simple wonder. As she faces the reality of Wildfire’s pregnancy, it is not the same as if she were to carry. The desire has never been there and two pregnant females in the pack have only been a flicker of irritation most days but nothing more than that. She doesn’t necessarily understand the need and she’s certain she may never know or, in a few days, she’ll know I all too well.

She’s known the woman more or less since she’d been born and there’s always been gentleness for the younger wolves she’d only consider to be motherly (as much as Thuringwethil could imagine being motherly). The prospects for Tirgatao are limited, she inwardly acknowledges, but she can’t help but wonder if there’s something she could do for her. Her tail twitches and she shifts awkwardly to make herself a little more comfortable. She feels the strong pull to say something else but she doesn’t find the right words; she likely knows everything she can think logically to say.

“You will be a great mother,” she tells the woman. If she could comfortably turn and boop her muzzle against her companion, she would, but she offers a smile anyway.

Tirgatao doesn't expect the compliment so when it comes, she blinks once and a bit of her naturally serene composure cracks to reveal the rawness of her emotion beneath. She leaned into the touch and closed her eyes with an uncharacteristically uncertain chuckle, "Yes, well, someday." She replied. The pale woman was not ignorant of the fact that very few true Seageda—Drageda men remained within Thuringwethil's branch. Most of them still lived in Trigeda or, like Arlo, were quite young in comparison to the middle-aged Shouna. And it wasn't like she found the native Teekon wolves abbhorent, but dreams were dreams, and she was allowed to be picky when it came to the father of her children and the guardian of her heart. 

The moment passed and she cleared her throat, "You've been a good friend to me, Heda. I appreciate you." She revealed with a nervous twist of her ear. It was not normal for Tirgatao to be so open about the depths of her own heart, but she felt that, perhaps, it was good to hear it said once in a while.

Thuringwethil isn’t sure if the woman is satisfied with the answer but she takes it in stride anyway. She’d come to Drageda with different expectations and she knows she can’t give her what she wants without pulling others from Trigeda. There isn’t anything else to add on the top, nothing more she can do, other than give her the permission she needs and she doubts any sort of immaculate conception will happen. It is brushed off by the older woman after a moment but finished with a compliment. One ear twitches upon her head and she thumps her tail, shifting her weight (painfully) to get closer to the woman and nips at her closest ear. She does not say anything else except the soft purr that rumbles her chest, pulling away after a moment and getting comfortable in her closer position so she can rest her head upon the ground.

Tirgatao is glad to lapse into comfortable silence and welcomes the nip with a warm rumble of her own, signaling her overall contentment with Drageda. She isn't actually that bothered by her future prospects, because her naturally positive outlook on life is a difficult thing for her to ignore even in the most dire of circumstances. She waits until Thuringwethil is in a more comfortable position before curling up beside her and, similarly, lowering her chin to rest upon her forepaws. All-in-all, she has little to complain about, but she is happier for sharing her concerns with the Commander.

Slowly, surely, with the warmth of her friend by her side, she lapses into a light nap.