Hideaway Strath yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen
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All Welcome 

my 200 for you!

Today Hemlock has gathered a bundle of lavender, sweet and fragrant, and carries them dutifully to @Lotte. It was meant as a kind gesture, even in their quiet moments she had heard of the sorrow of her Banrion at the loss of her brother. She laid the lavender near enough that the Banrion would know it was hers but that the children wouldn't maul it - it was hopefully up above their reach. She set herself down near the darker female, comfortably beginning to groom her. Sirius was out and about - his only rule not to go too far and to call if he needed something. A nagging sensation had grown in her stomach, worry over the upcoming supposed meeting between the outcasts and their son.

"I....I am uneasy about bringing Sirius to Olive and Dakarai. I tell him stories of them....but he calls me 'mama' - he has been mine more than theirs....I knew the service I was doing for Teaghlaigh taking him as my own......but it is so much more than a duty." She admitted, wincing slightly. She worried about what wrongs she might have been doing, about the disservice she possibly was doing to Sirius too. Hopefully Lotte would have ideas for her one way or the other. 


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i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

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[grapples wildly with pronouns and paragraphs]

ONE HOUR LATER: THIS POST IS MAKING ME FEEL THINGS.

It was the bouquet of Hemlock’s scent that Lotte buried her nose into, and not the lavender. The nightingale pressed her mouth to Hemlock’s nape, rumbling pleasurably as her fireflower began sweetly to groom her, and was swift to respond in kind. Her relationship with the viridian-eyed sylph was more tactile than Lotte could ever remember being with another female, but she enjoyed it. In the wake of Dagfinn’s disappearance it was hard to feel happy and whole even with a bevy of bears at her breast and a doting husband. They made things of her: a mother, a wife, a queen. Hemlock, on the other hand, saw Lotte as she imagined herself: just a girl, vastly experienced but stubborn enough to pretend she knew what she was doing. Lotte saw Hemlock as…well, a hero. And maybe it was a good thing Dagfinn was back in the tundra, because next on Lotte’s list of “Hey, I’m not really qualified to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway and you’re going to like it,” was pairing the two of them together. She couldn’t trust anyone to be good enough for Dagfinn, but she couldn’t marry him herself — and the same went for Hemlock.

Fortunately, she also had a healthy amount of respect for Hemlock, and this kept her from inadvertently spitting on Palisander’s memory (even though choosing Dagfinn would always be a step up in Lotte’s eyes).

Lotte couldn’t imagine losing her firstborn child anymore than she could imagine willfully trespassing on another pack’s territory, especially one lined with skulls and body parts. She tried to think about things from Olive’s perspective. How might she feel if, for any reason, she was made to leave Mallaidh under the care of wolves she didn’t particularly trust? Lotte stamped down her personal bias on the matter and considered it for the first time since they’d acquired the little ball of heather-gray fluff.

No. No. It was utterly unfathomable.

And how was it for Hemlock, made to care for and love a child who called her “mama” when she’d been stripped of the chance to have her own children to say that exact word? Lotte’s ears drooped sorrowfully. She mourned for Olive, denied the formative weeks of Sirius’ life, and she mourned for Hemlock, given the weeks only to possibly have them stolen away when he was of age. “Olive is his mother,” she said slowly, sounding out her thoughts before she really thought them through as was her wont, “but you are his mama.” The idea of having multiple mothers wasn’t so foreign to the soturi, who had been raised among all manner of children and mothers, both adopted and biological. “It cannot be quantified.” Banríon disagreed with Hemlock’s statement — “he has been mine more than theirs — but not the sentiment that prompted it. “He is yours, and you are his, in a way that Olive will never be able to take from you. He is hers, and she is his, in a way that you will never be able to take from her. That is the way of things when a cub knows two mothers.” Her moonbright eyes were sad as she preened lovingly at one fox-red ear. “I am sorry, liekkikukka — I have asked too much of you. Arturo will give Sirius the choice someday, and maybe that in itself is a cruelty, but until he reaches his majority he will be part of this Family. Then it will be his choice, whether he wishes to be fully a part of both.”

Lotte blew out a shaky breath.

“Nine months I can give you, but these hours we have sworn to give them.”
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Thus far their relationship had been built on a mutual sort of comfort. Hemlock didn't know exactly why she felt so comfortable so quickly with Lotte, maybe it was because she had been so accommodating. Maybe it was something else. Hemlock didn't know. Still, her Banrion was patient with her and let her think and process - and even if Hemlock had been talking less of possession and more of just time when it came to Sirius.  Hemlock had never expected to struggle this way. She had considered it easy - what a foolish thing she had been! "You cannot give me a burden too big for me to bear. Not for you. Not for Arturo." Though his name might have been an afterthought, it was spoken with no less reverence, there was no less respect for either of them. 

As a pair Hemlock adored both Lotte and Arturo - and she would have struggled to choose between the two. "He is a special thing." She said softly. "And I am sure it would be different; you understand as you are a mother. But I am not and yet I cannot adore him more. It must be good that I would not have children, to split that love." She lamented lamely. The hours and months would fly by and she would struggle when it came to release her boy turned man onto the world. "I bet he will be handsome when he is grown." She said softly. 

"Perhaps not as handsome was Roarke or Ceallach," She tried to lighten the mood a bit. Ceallach took after Arturo so strikingly so far; it would be interesting to see which parent he looked like as he aged. For the snow-sprite children she wondered if they would ever change their colors or if they would stay so pale and precious. "Do you imagine what they will all grow into? Our little ones." Hemlock murmured, nuzzling against her until her nose touched the soft skin beneath Lotte's grey fur. "Think Arturo can convince you to have more?" She teased idly. 

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i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

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A smile played about the corners of Lotte’s generous mouth, but the pain lingered in her silver eyes as she continued to preen at the fire-kissed female. Her teeth and tongue swept from the tip of one fox-red ear to its delicate bulb, then traveled idly down her red-caped nape. “I can. He can,” she insisted, “and you must be honest with me if we ever do.” The thought of overburdening Hemlock was devastating to Lotte, who carried still the guilt of having broken her word to a fellow bard by betraying his innocent young niece.

Maybe her voice was a little too vehement when she questioned incredulously, “Who, knowing you, could choose anyone else?” about Sirius’ returning to his family by birth. You are a special thing. You are…a wonder,” Lotte trailed off, having discovered the intricate patterns of Hemlock’s uniquely crimson-laced guard hairs and how they lay soft and pliant across her capable shoulders. Fascinated, she propped her chin on the other female’s withers and hummed softly, her tongue poking inelegantly out of the side of her mouth to sample. Speaking carefully, “You might yet have children,” she reminded the viridian-eyed dryad. “You are young and strong.” The lack of a mate would present a problem, though…
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Hemlock shivered beneath Lotte's attention, for a moment the contact distracting to a point she could not focus on the words. Lotte was a master of communication, eloquence embodied, and yet Hemlock was wasting what she said for the buzzing tingle of her skin where Lotte toyed with her was proving to much. "You could not," Hemlock said quickly, finding her tongue again after a moment too long. "You - you are both mine and there is nothing I would not do for you."  

The pair were all she had, with their children and her boy, the mismatched family that they all made up. Hemlock was fortunate to have them. "You... You only know who I am now. Not who I was before. You did not know Isley, or of her pains... And this person, your Hemlock, she is colder and cynical and.. And..."  Hemlock let out a soft huff, pressing her snout against Lotte's jaw and down to her neck. She was able to feel her heartbeat, steady and strong, and she took a few moments to just compose herself. " Sometimes I fear I am too broken." 

She blinked back the emotions unearthed, trying to just be strong - to be what Lotte saw so easily. How, Hemlock did not know. The conversation with Arturo came back to her and Hemlock felt her heart pounding in her chest, a fear rising in her. "I do not think I would find another mate... I had my Palisander - but he was unexpected, as it always is."  She did not know how to broach the subject and instead she drew back, submitting to Lotte without thinking of it. From the ground Hemlock licked her lips, eyes fixed on the earth beneath her. "Arturo had said he would consider allowing me to breed, should my season come favorably. If you are both in agreement, if all three of us were, he.. He had even considering offering to sire them if I had no partner then. I said I would talk to you, but with the trip coming to take Sirius, I have not really considered it." Once she had started to speak it came out in a rushing blurt of words, and she wondered how foolish she sounded or how rushed she had been in getting it out. "I am happy, though, as things are - I would not want to complicate matters or create tension," If Lotte was uncomfortable it was the end of the discussion, as simple as that. 


available for naturalist and medical threads just tag her!
i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

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Hemlock’s response to Lotte’s attentions was fascinating, and the young queen felt an answering shiver of delight tickle her own spine as her moonbright eyes went smoky. She was quiet, allowing the russet-cloaked woman to speak as she would. “Do I need to know Isley?” she asked, and her tone was genuinely curious as she drew away to search the dryad’s viridian eyes. “I know you — but I will learn of Isley and her pains if that is what you want me to do.” As she had been with August, Lotte was feeling her way along, and for all her carefully constructed confidence, she was still a very young wolf who was new to leadership and the responsibilities of a queen. She liked Hemlock, liked her genuinely, and didn’t know whether it was overstepping to say that she didn’t need to know anything more than that.

The change in the woman’s posture concerned Lotte, who dropped to the earth beside her and made to lift that chin with her broad crown. “I will learn if you want me to,” she insisted, maybe sounding a little desperate in her desire to buoy the older female’s morale. “My Hemlock is a creature of beauty and grace. Where you see cynicism and coldness, I see efficiency and reliability. You are still you — you are only more sharply etched.” She reached for any words that might combat the rising panic she thought she saw —

— and then she swallowed them.

It was fortunate that Lotte had been trained to hear atrocities without batting an eyelash, because even as she nodded her head and preened at the fur of Hemlock’s throat, agreeing right along with her sainted husband’s decree — yes, of course Hemlock should be allowed to breed; yes, of course, Lotte would be in agreement — the sentence changed and her blood froze, then turned to quicklime. “He had even considered offering to sire them — ”

WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER AND AN ICE CREAM PARLOR OPENS ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN, BECAUSE THAT’S JUST ABOUT THE TIME LOTTE ANSBJØRN FEARGHAL WOULD AGREE TO SHARING HER HUSBAND’S AFFECTION AND VIRILITY

“Yes, he mentioned it to me,” Lotte lied, silk-smooth, drawing away to fix Hemlock with a serenely reassuring gaze. “Is it what you wish, liekkikukka?” It was also fortunate that Lotte was able to focus on multiple things at once, because she did genuinely care about Hemlock’s happiness — but she also was slightly plotting how to murder her husband.
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Hemlock could not pin point her emotions, nor her reaction to Lotte and her touches, and it caused Hemlock to let out a nervous whine. She swallowed back the sound, eyes fluttering for a moment before she met Lotte's eyes again. "But I wish you had known her, to see her as she was - happy."  Not that Hemlock wasn't, but now - it was so reliant on the Fearghal family and Hemlock fretted she put too much pressure on them in turn. 

Shamefully her features fell, her ears drooping and her gaze on the ground. No matter if Lotte had lifted her head she did not consider it appropriate for their eyes to meet and she was as apologetic for bringing to up as she could be. It was.... Awkward, to have said it allowed when it was little more than an offer between friends but theirs was a unique dynamic. Not only with her affections for Lotte, and Arturo, and their children, but how could that dynamic work? 

"I do not know,"   Hemlock admitted lamely. "Because it is not that I would not be happy with our children - but... But then would they be our children or would it be different, with none of us -"  A soft sigh left her lips and finally she looked to Lotte again. "Or all three of ours, I just.... There are so many questions."  She felt as if it only brought up more questions and concerns and she worried she might have damaged their dynamic and desperately didn't want. 
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Lotte wasn’t made of stone, and it wasn’t easy for her to uphold a façade of calm when she was so close to Hemlock’s throat that she could practically feel the healer’s pulse on her tongue. If she wished it, she could still that pulse. It would be easy — as easy as nipping at Coelacanth’s heels had been. When push came to shove, the soot-stockinged rogue was not a kindhearted creature. She was ruthlessly protective of the things and people she laid claim upon; and although she was willing to give her life for the Family, Dagfinn alone had been able to temper her fury when it reared its ugly head. It was rearing now, and it grew in strength when Hemlock mentioned the children that would inevitably come of her coupling with Lotte’s Ceannasach. “You have time, liekkikukka,” she soothed, a devilish flick of her tail the only sign of her agitation. “We all have time to decide the best way.”

I mean, assuming Lotte doesn’t murder Arturo first —

“I have questions, too,” was perhaps the first honest thing out of Lotte’s mouth, “but I think it will take time before they are answered.” Several of the “questions” were for Arturo, and her manner of asking them wasn’t something she really wanted Hemlock to see. The thought at the forefront of her mind was concerned with desire, though, and maybe the current of rage rolling through her bloodstream had more of an effect than she’d have liked to admit — because there was just a little thread of steel in her voice, just a little quiver in her breath, when she asked, “Is it for the children that you entertain this idea? Or for Ceannasach?” She was just about to see her husband and the alluring dryad off alone with Sirius, after all, and she didn’t particularly fancy the idea. Perhaps, unbeknownst to them, she would steal away after them under pretense of keeping an eye on Olive and Dakarai.
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If Lotte had bit her, had clamped down, she would have understood. She wouldn't have fought back, not only from respect for Lotte but just her affections for her. Sill, Hemlock fretted and her thoughts ran to mush, reaching out to nuzzle her face beneath Lotte's chin with a weak whine. It was easier, not seeing Lotte's face, to be truthful then. She didn't fear the way that Lotte's eyes might bore down on hers. "For.... For you." Hemlock finally forced out. Honesty was something she had promised to her Banrion - and it was not as if they could make the children themselves, but did she not wish it possible in a sense? 

"I do not want Arturo as my own, not... Not like that, it is... It is complicated. I trust him as I have trusted very few males, but... There are different emotions involved. I do not want the... The mechanical bond, and if I could skip it I would." She admitted quietly. She didn't know the words to offer her truths, they came so sporadically to her. She did not have Lotte's penchant for words. All she knew was that she desperately wanted Lotte there, involved, in some strange capacity that she did not truthfully understand. 

available for naturalist and medical threads just tag her!
i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

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“For me?” Lotte asked, a guttural undertone entering her velvety timbre. It didn’t make any sense, and she was wont to judge Hemlock’s words unfairly. The smoke-and-shadow rogue did not take kindly to being blindsided, especially when it came to her husband. “What is for me?” What part of “have sex with Arturo and have his babies” involved Lotte?

How could it possibly be for her?

Lotte listened as Hemlock explained the trust she felt for Arturo, and even managed a quip. “Well,” she said, a manufactured chuckle spilling with easy warmth from her lying mouth, “if you do not want him, I suppose I will just have to keep him.” And kill him, she thought to herself, smiling sweetly. She used her hurt and anger the way she’d been taught, coaxing a mischievous sparkle into her eyes, narrowing them with feigned wickedness.

“Perhaps, liekkikukka, I will have to keep you both.”
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The question was just as cumbersome when it came from Lotte's mouth, and Hemlock let a little sigh out of her mouth as she moved minutely, impossibly closer. "We lack the complimentary parts,"  Hemlock lamented, shifting a bit so that she could sweep her tongue across Lotte's neck, and again, she pondered the emotions that Lotte gave her; she had always been able to take charge of her emotions but.... But not when it came to Lotte. "If we did, if we could - I would have wanted it to be you."  That was an honesty, she could provide that freely, but it wasn't meant to slight Arturo either. 

Emotions were complicated, fickle things. 

"Were it only so easy,"  Hemlock lamented softly before she lifted her gaze to Lotte's again. "What a sight that would be, our gaggle of children roaming and you with your harem spread across the Strath." Hemlock could tease of course, but... It wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world she imagined. Still, she could not exactly imagine that world and how it would fit with the world they already knew. It only made Hemlock wish that she had never left. She might have seen them both, known them both, before Lotte and Arturo became the Lotturo that she knew now. 


available for naturalist and medical threads just tag her!
i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

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Comprehension smoothed out Lotte’s rough edges, but only just. “So,” she said, still feeling just a little bit wicked and vindictive. She preened, arching her neck like a swan’s as Hemlock paid it gentle homage, but she didn’t act on her immediate desire. To act out now wouldn’t suit the outcome she craved, so she stowed her baser wishes. “We have time,” she repeated soothingly, her mind whirring wildly as it planned and managed and reworked. “You should not worry about this now.” She responded to the fire flower’s ministrations in kind, trying to elicit another of those shivers from the woman. Her teeth and tongue combed an undulating line that looped loosely over the wisewoman’s russet withers. “Do not fear, liekkikukka,” she said. “All will be well — with Sirius, with you, with Arturo, with me.”
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If something happened - if this had all been a mistake - if she did not have Lotte to call her own anymore, Hemlock would have been devastated. She would survive, because she has always been good at survival, but there would be another fissure in her psyche and the person that she was would shift again. She did not want that to happen. Hemlock continued slowly, her kisses spaced and near teasing without exactly meaning to be. In the realm of physical affections she and Palisander had not explored much and of the two of them, the younger woman was by far the more learned in those arts. Maybe that was why it was so easy for Hemlock to lose herself to Lotte's touches, her tense body slowly melting to the darker woman's attentions. "I would fall apart if I lost you." She breathed out, nose tracing a delicate pathway as she turned her head to supply her own gentle touches in response to Lotte's. Her stature and Lotte's soft plush made it a different game, teeth nibbling at the plush fur along her shoulders. She was at least breathing easier, Lotte's ministrations near hypnotic to her. 


available for naturalist and medical threads just tag her!
i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

[Image: naturalist_master.gif] 12/20
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Liekkikukka, you will not,” Lotte swore, a heady rush of emotion making it difficult for her to speak. She was hurt that Arturo had not come to her first with the idea of providing the means for Hemlock’s pregnancy. Being as close to the woman as she now was, she knew she could not have denied the viridian-eyed dryad anything she desired — but that didn’t mean Lotte was self-confident or benevolent enough not to take it as a slight to her person. She wished she had come up with the idea first. She wished it had been brought up to her by her husband rather than the other woman. It was cruel to think of Hemlock in that light, but Lotte couldn’t help it. She was Arturo’s mate. Any other female, including her own daughters, was inevitably seen as some kind of competition — and as Eirlys and Mallaidh grew, Lotte knew her jealousy would need to be kept fiercely in check, particularly during the breeding season.

Lotte endured the preening and gave it back in equal measure, but its enchantment died little by little as thoughts of Hemlock being covered by Arturo flitted through her mind. She noted Hemlock’s weakness, the lithe female melting little by little into the soturi’s more stocky framework, and kept her own breathing steady and even, her muscles limp and relaxed. The soft tease of Hemlock’s fangs against her fur felt abrasive rather than tantalizing now, in the face of her bitterness, but she was silent and acquiescent for a long moment before she shifted her posture. “Is it me you want?” she asked, angling her muzzle to graze the curve of the dryad’s ear with a cruelly teasing caress of her tongue. “Me, not Ceannasach?”

“Were I male, would I be the one you chose?”
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Some of the magic had been broken, and Hemlock longed to recover it but knew that time was her only hope. Maybe if she... If she was less of a presence, Lotte could be free to sort through her own emotions and figure out how she felt. Which the healer knew was just as much a folly as figuring out her own emotions and how her Banrion tied into them. Hemlock gave a soft whine when Lotte teased her, breathy notions against her ear only enhanced by the tickle of her tongue. Hemlock gripped the earth minutely, bracing against what she had expected to be shame - and yet she found none. 

"I cannot have you,"  Hemlock knew this. She lived and breathed this reality - and she did not imagine she could have Arturo either. This was purely a biological process, emotion was... Well. Less tied to it. "But as I said, if... If we were compatible, if we could, they would be yours. Not his." Hemlock admitted - she would have asked the bard if she could have. And that - that thought, did bring a shiver to shake the fur down her spine. Lotte covering her, claiming her - but Hemlock doubted she could ever admit that. 



available for naturalist and medical threads just tag her!
i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

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Lotte found that she greatly enjoyed the idea of owning Hemlock; it pleased her to absorb the shiver of that sinuous spine, and it pleased her to know that Hemlock liked her better. Ceannasach had taken a valiant, intelligent warrior to wife, capable of great magnanimity when she pleased — but Lotte could also be quite vain and selfish. As long as Hemlock liked Lotte better than Arturo and Arturo liked Lotte better than Hemlock, the brazen rapscallion could believe that everything would be fine. Hemlock could have Arturo’s children as long as Lotte was the tether that joined them, with a good portion of the control between her teeth.

Lotte disengaged gently and rose to all fours, but it was clear she had no intention of leaving the fireflower so soon. “I want to give you want you want,” she intimated in a throaty undertone. A glimmer of her true nature shone through: she did, without condition or qualm, love Hemlock. She wanted the dryad’s happiness as much as she wanted Arturo’s, though her first loyalty would always be to her black-masked gangster-in-gentleman’s-clothing. “Should your heat come upon you,” she said, not one to beat around the bush, “walk among these wolves without reservation, but allow none to touch you but me — and Arturo.” She nibbled affectionately at the fur lining the base of one brilliantly russet ear.
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Oh Lotte never had to worry about that. She shook her head, nuzzling into Lotte again. She gave a soft little sigh, she could not think of wanting anyone else that she wanted other than the two of them. "You do not have to worry about that." Lotte promised, giving a little hum as she reached up to tease her tongue against Lotte's ear in turn. "I only want you - the pair of you," Still a hasty add on, truth be told, her primary thought was of Lotte but she could not ignore the allure of Arturo either. 

She stood up, lips quirking into a little smile as she took a couple steps down Lotte's side, nipping her hip. "How about we catch something?" She asked. "Show our Ceannasach his women are capable." She could only tease these words not wanting Lotte to be too upset but the distraction of a good hunt might do them both some good. 

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i grew a human and unfortunately as a horrible side effect lost an organ - as such will be slow from time to time.

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Abruptly, Lotte wished to set the conversation aside. It rankled — maybe it always would, a little bit — when Hemlock referred to herself as Ceannasach’s woman; but Lotte couldn’t deny the appeal of the healer’s request. It would be good to vent some of her frustrations in physical activity. She bounded to her paws almost immediately, stretching out each limb with languid ease. Yes,” she agreed with heartfelt enthusiasm, yawning widely until the cartilage of her jaws popped deliciously. “You lead the way,” she suggested with a toothy grin, nudging teasingly at one fire-feathered hip.