Moonspear nothing holding me back
All Welcome  June 19, 2017, 02:42 AM
Charon
Moonspear
Alpha
Charon'd spent most of his days by the side of the den to care for @Amekaze and the pups, though he was glad that the rendezvous-site moment was rapidly approaching now. But there was still a weak link and although she could stand now, somewhat, Charon was not too convinced Ran'd be able to take the move to the rendez-vous site. As a matter of fact, he felt she was taking all the necessary resources off the healthier pups. Even Aries or Cassiopeia were more worthy than little Ran, as it was clear to him she was never going to make it.

He chuffed into the den around sunset, hoping to catch Amekaze for some alone time. The pups were growing older now, they could deal without them a moment and surely one of their older daughters'd watch over in the meantime.
June 20, 2017, 12:43 AM
Amekaze
Moonspear
Alpha
Now that she could get them out into the sunlight and fresh air on the regular, she had spent much of the late afternoon trying to exhaust the puppies. Either by chasing them or encouraging them to roam around the den's little doorstep, she'd harassed them into near constant motion until finally had enough of it and she let them rest. Her benefit in this came from seeing them all curled up or sprawled out somewhere, asleep, and not immediately needing her.. which right now, was everything she wanted.

While she didn't have anywhere in particular to be, it mostly felt good to just be on her own for a few moments. Scarce as they were, she was keen to enjoy them carefully, so went to a nearby spot of her own to unwind for these last few bits of daylight. While she could doze if she wanted, she kept one ear turning to the nearby sounds despite the outwardly relaxed appearances as dusk started to get comfy too.

Charon's approach was enough to perk her up again. She chuffed back quietly and wagged her tail against the ground--not looking to summon any puppies either. Since she made no moves to get up and go to him, she made it plenty clear she was quite content to invite him the rest of the way to her. Why not, when it was a good spot and close enough to the den to watch over it without being too close, unless he had other ideas.



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i want to bleed in the 「r a i n
June 20, 2017, 03:23 AM
Charon
Moonspear
Alpha
She had a good spot going for her and so when she invited him he didn't hesitate to lay down beside her. Things were quiet around them and Charon nosed Ame's cheek lovingly. For a moment they were just parents enjoying some quiet time, and not parents who had a tough decision to make. He enjoyed the silence a moment longer, feeling his body lightly press against Ame's and a soft smile resting on his face.

But the bliss could not stay forever, and he knew he was the one to break it eventually. "What do you think of the faulty pup?" he asked, a certain coldness to his voice. He had always been full of scrutiny towards his own children; it wasn't hard to see that Julia was his least favourite daughter a year ago and that he valued his stronger daughters far more. He was endlessly proud of Hydra and loved Alya and Lyra all the same. This year, so far his eyes had fell mostly on the two light daughters — unsurprisingly, his own mini-me was his favourite so far — and he hoped that the boy would develop to be good too, as it was his only son so far.

But the runty dark female was hard to love, as it was a blemish on their heritage. It seemed better to hide such a child away, but she still took resources... And so he thought it best to simply get rid of it. But he didn't say such, because he somewhat intended to get rid of it regardless of Amekaze's opinion. He just hoped he could make her think it was her idea, first, or at least get an idea of what she would think of such an action. She was strong, too, so Charon thought she would not look favourably upon the weakest link in the litter either.
June 21, 2017, 03:49 PM
Amekaze
Moonspear
Alpha
His was a company she would embrace. When he came to her, she leaned against him however she could and exhaled a small, happy sigh. It usually was not just them lately, usually a puppy clinging around somewhere, or at least where she could see them, so this was very welcome.

As for what her thought on the weak puppy, she had considered this a lot already and learned that she hardly had the patience for it as it was playing out currently. Faulty was certainly one way to put it. Her ears slicked back and she huffed. Here between just the two of them, she could lay it bare, ugly or not, and she already had a feeling Charon wouldn't be merciful in his thoughts either. "She struggles a lot. It is frustrating to watch her suffer," she murmured. Her face was scrunched with a foul feeling that went deeper than just voicing this for the first real time.

The litter was growing, and while the male was still a bit slow on the uptake when compared to the paler sisters, the little Ran continually seemed much further behind them--and having a paw and limb that refused to grow right did her no favors either. Not being able to just do something to fix her daughter's issues irritated her. Despite willing her to grow and making sure she nursed most of the time, she still failed to take off quite as the mother had wanted. Day after day, and Amekaze was left to just wonder how this could be, and more importantly, what she was meant to do about it. "And I do hate seeing that leg." Her nose wrinkled disdainfully. It didn't seem to be getting any better so Ame was very bothered by it, and wished she could trust the girl's strength and grit enough to just get rid of it. Yet as it were now, she was certain anything like that would just kill her faster.

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i want to bleed in the 「r a i n
June 23, 2017, 02:14 AM
Charon
Moonspear
Alpha
It was frustrating to see her suffer, though Charon's reasons may be different than Amekaze's. He hated to think that Ran was a production of himself and Amekaze — that their genes were somehow responsible for the faulty child. He could taste more compassion in Ame's voice than he felt; while when he looked at Ran, he felt like she deserved a right to life too, when he thought of her, Charon felt only hate for what she was.

"Do you think it would better if she wasn't here?" he asked, then specifying after a second of thought, "Do you think it would be better to get rid of her?" They could tell the rest of the pack and her siblings that she had passed away. It wasn't hard to believe, being the runt of the litter and all. In this, he didn't consider any of their thoughts on the matter, truthfully — he only felt he should do what was best for the pack. Charon looked at Amekaze, feeling and looking torn as he tried to decide what was best for their future.
June 24, 2017, 11:20 PM
Amekaze
Moonspear
Alpha
She felt her eyes narrow at his question. Knee-jerk, she knew her answer immediately--well, answered solely with her in mind. Not the innocent Ran, a young life yet unproven, and above all, her daughter. If this had been her only surviving son with the same sufferable ailments, Amekaze knew she likely would have already done away with it without hardly a second glance.. With a slow exhale, she would reply: "Probably," she reasoned for the first half. It would be better for her because she would not have to deal with her fussing anymore or watching her struggle around while her others flourished. Plus, she was one less mouth to feed. The second was a little stickier.

"I worry.. it may just be her inevitable," she began, shifting herself to sit more upright as she spoke on. "She may never hunt well, may never fight skillfully.. may never be able to navigate dangers of the mountain," the alpha scowled. Weakness every piece of it screamed. "Is it only a matter of time?"

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i want to bleed in the 「r a i n
June 26, 2017, 03:38 AM
Charon
Moonspear
Alpha
He couldn't entirely tell whether she thought 'yes' on both accounts, or just part of what he had asked. Her 'probably' showed that she didn't really want to think too much about it, perhaps because she felt some form of motherly feelings towards the child and didn't want to face the truth. That he pup was holding back the others and that they were all better off without it.

But on some level Charon could recognise those feelings, the parently feels that made you want to protect and nurture your child, to help it to grow. He wished all those things for Ran, but it had become rapidly more and more evident that she'd never have any of it in the decree he wished for her.

Amekaze posed good questions, but questions he didn't have the answers to. "If she is going to die eventually, it's better to just end it ourselves," he said. There was a certain casualness to his tone, flared on only by the fact that he could not be too loving about this, too fatherly; he needed to do what was best for everyone involved, even if it meant that one of his daughters died soon. But if she were to die sooner or later anyway, then wasn't it the most humane thing to do?
June 28, 2017, 06:42 PM
Amekaze
Moonspear
Alpha
She believed it was.. very, very likely that something would see to her end. If not one of the more obvious variables she'd just questioned, there were many other possibilities just waiting to prey on a weakness such as that one that consumed her seventh daughter. Some could even be closer than others--Ame saw the way Vela had no patience for her, and that did not bode well in her heart. They already came from a family tree sprinkled heartily with executioners. The dark mother did not want to see her offspring add fratricide to their repertoire, as she had, and that was just the beginning of what it could be to kill the weak little wolf if they didn't.

So yes, in the bitter end, it was better.

For her, for her mate, and for the rest of the pack. Perhaps even for Ran too. There were far too many myths and tales of rebirth for her to discredit it all so easily, even if it was just a thought to ease the grief. There had to be something better for her than a life of slow, miserable suffering, held captive by a weak body that failed to flourish.

Ame let the pause hang a beat. "It is," she finally agreed aloud now that he had fished the right phrasing out of her. "A shame.. that she is so very unlucky," she sighed and moved so that she could press her nose at Charon's cheek despite the frown keeping her expression dark. "But I would not want to live a life with that deformity. Especially not with stronger sisters who just exemplify everything she lacks," she shook her head then shifted so she could set it on him, and invited further contact between them both. Amekaze huffed, justifying her agreement mostly for herself. "As much as it burns me that she is my daughter as well.. it just does not seem fair that she be dealt this." Not with how magnificent her older siblings had grown to be already, and how promising their futures all seemed.. except for crippled-foot Ran, born to parents with very little patience towards the problem.

"So it should be soon then, hm?"
She knew, and couldn't help but glance to the darkening sunset-streaked skies at the thought of putting any sort of date on this right here, and right now.

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i want to bleed in the 「r a i n
June 29, 2017, 03:18 AM
Charon
Moonspear
Alpha
Charon felt utterly numb at the thought of letting go of one of his children, at the thought of killing her himself. He felt hatred towards her for she brought shame onto their family by being so weak, but on the other end, he knew she could not help being what she was. It should be soon, but it was never easy to make such decisions. There was a constant stream of 'what if's in his head, in the part of him that wanted for all of his children to flourish and to survive.

But he had to be strong, he knew that. "I will do it," he said with a mechanical, numb tone to his voice. He didn't want to, but he had to. "... Soon..." And from the tone in his voice then his doubt was audible, the questioning thoughts that plagued him, and his lack of desire to actually do it.

But he knew he must.
July 03, 2017, 11:06 PM
Amekaze
Moonspear
Alpha
She hated the gravity of it, and watching him numbly accept the duty came no easier. An unexpectedly difficult read.. which made a piece of her wish it had just been done even sooner--but the girl had persisted anyway, making her doubt it even once she had fully realized magnitude of the issue at play here. Her ears angled back further still; she dreaded the worse sorrow that could follow.. once things changed, and even the next moment she would see Ran for as long as she remained with them. The vibe around her little family was about to change quite a bit.

Are you sure? she wanted to ask.. although it was not merely out of doubt for his resolve. She could.. she likely would, although it would not be easy--but she would move on past it. Surely she could channel her annoyances and frustration into something effective, if she had to. There had been times when they tested her patience already. Most likely, all the same could be said for him though, and he had already taken it on himself.

"Yeah," she said quietly and a little bit sad. "For the greater good." she resolved through a sigh, and hoped that if anything, the only regret would be not doing it sooner once it was said and done.

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i want to bleed in the 「r a i n
July 05, 2017, 02:04 AM
Charon
Moonspear
Alpha
"hmm-mm," Charon murmured thoughtfully. He was torn between wanting to lean into Amekaze or staying away from her because he felt so filthy. He cast her a glance that said, it'll be okay. He'd make it okay. "I'm going for a quick patrol." Charon nosed Amekaze's face and smiled weakly before he turned away. He needed some time alone to clear his head and think this over; and gather courage.
July 05, 2017, 02:40 AM
Amekaze
Moonspear
Alpha
She made no moves to tether him to her when he started to get ready to leave. Well read enough to know there was no need to pry now, she nodded and tried to swipe her tongue over his face in a quick kiss before he traveled out of her reach.

There was somberness in watching him leave, too, but she knew it was necessary. She stayed there a while longer, simply resting her head on her paws and mulling it over. While she had not volunteered to do the deed, she still needed a moment to gather her composure to head back to the puppies at all after discussing their fate so boldly.

[Image: 5ifpFkc.png?1]
i want to bleed in the 「r a i n