Morningside Cuesta Shadowed

Her loneliness had only doubled since her comforting meeting with Howl. She sighed out of longing, for some sort of company. Recently, the 'blur' she had been seeing about, it was taking shape. Every time she saw it, she wanted it to stay there. So she could actually see what it was, but it would just disappear when she looked hard enough. The realization of it being a hallucination, or something along those lines, was slowly dissolving. All she wanted was company, and if that was all that could give it, she would make do.

And that's what made her afraid. She sometimes thought she heard whispers in her ear when alone in the dark. Was she going crazy? Mad from a life without love, as she saw it? Heartha knew she needed to talk to someone. Anyone, about this problem. So, she called for @Grayday. He would surely know how to talk the sense she needed into her.

Though he was a loathe to leave his tiny, gigantic mate, there was a fearul edge to the call that had him lurching to his paws and heading toward the sound, one ear flickering toward Khoe as he departed. I'll be right back, it seemed to say, though in his distraction, he did not note whether or not she'd seen the gesture.

He picked his way across the territory, his body as limber as it'd been before the snake bite, but his eyesight slightly worse. Soon enough, though, he came upon the caller.

"Heartha?" he asked, coming close enough to brush his nose over her coat, looking for injuries. "You sound worried," he added, after finding no open wounds. There was the scent of a stranger upon her, but the male discounted this at once. The scent was fading, and if it was something to be worried about, he was sure he'd've been told sooner.

Heartha was glad to see the kind face of Grayday find her. She crawled across the ground on her belly and stopped as he nosed through, no doubt looking for injuries or the cause of her worries. "Grayday...I feel...you ever get that feeling, like you are being watched? It's as if there's something there. I don't know if it's stress, or..."

She glanced up to his eyes, meeting his gaze. She felt herself shudder from fear. "Am I going crazy? I keep seeing something. Like a shadow, but there's no one there." She was fearful of the answer. If she was going crazy, how would she be seen by the others?

The woman's words caused his fur to prickle uneasily. He glanced around, but of course, there was nothing for him to see. "How long have you felt this way?" he asked in a rough voice, one ear twisted toward Heartha even as he scanned their surroundings for movement. He lifted his head to the breeze, lips curling to test it - but there was nothing for him to smell. Nothing unsual, nefarious, or even interesting.

He looked back to Heartha, focusing in on her once more. If it was not a watcher of the natural world, then it was either spiritual or mental. He eyed her keenly, looking for signs of hysteria. You couldn't always tell a mad wolf, and Day wasn't ready to write her off as one, yet.

Heartha was about to answer, till she saw that same blur. her eyes drifted there for a moment, then it was gone. Every day, it took on more of a shape. Her attention went straight back to Day to give him the answer. "A week...Maybe two...Day, I'm scared, I don't want to go crazy. If I go crazy, I will never be trusted to care for anyone's pups." She did not feel uncomfortable by how Grayday observed onto her more closely now. "You would tell me if I was going crazy...wouldn't you?"

His heart twisted uncomfortably at her words. He felt for her, truly, and fervently prayed that this was not the case. "D'ya think it could be a spirit, maybe?" he asked hesitantly. He'd heard of these things, of course, and had been taught that the Cat and Calf worked in many mysterious ways, but it still seemed a bit far-fetched to the aging male.

But Heartha was family, now, and Grayday wanted to make sure they had the truth before they took any action.

Because he would not have a mad wolf around his children.

Heartha shot Grayday a confused glance, as she did not believe in such things. She shook her head, as she was sure, or at least mostly sure, it was not. "I'm sure it isn't..." Then she felt less skeptical. What if it was? "But...if it is? Even though I don't believe it is..." She was looking to Grayday for complete guidance. What if, one her children was coming to haunt her? The thought of that made her heart and breathing race. "I want to get...whatever this is out of the way. So I can be there, for the pack's young." Would Grayday even let her help, after hearing this?

Day frowned. If she didn't think so, he doubted it could be one. Spirits, after all, had to be called on. There were rituals for the summoning and the banishing of spirits, but he didn't know them. Somehow, Heartha performing one of those rituals by accident seemed a little far-fetched.

"Then I guess... I guess it's somethin' in you," he said finally, unable to bring himself to say the word crazy. "Maybe there's someone that could help us, though. There's a medicine woman on the coast - I went to her for my eyes, and they got better, for a little while. Maybe she has something to heal your mind, too."

He thought for a minute, trying to decide whether or not they had the resources for this endeavor. "After the pups are born... maybe you and me can take a trip up there to see her. What do you think?"

Heartha felt ashamed that something like this was happening to her. She tipped her gaze downward, toward the ground. He hadn't said she was crazy, but saying something in her was possibly causing this. 

Then Grayday gave an offer, one she could not refuse. "Yes!" She said immediately, before he could even finish his last sentence. "I mean...anything to help me. I don't want to be useless." She offered a small smile to Day. He could really brighten anyone's day with good news. "Khoe...will she be all with that? With you being gone for some time." She still felt there was a bit of tension.

His ears flickered in thought. He didn't want to be away from his children, of course, but what else could they do? He wasn't sure anyone else would know where to find Deirdre... but maybe he could explain it? If they just followed the coast, they were sure to come upon Donnelaith at some point.

"Then maybe Dawn and Sunspot can take you," he suggested. "I'm sure you can find it, between the three of you. But you'll still need to wait until we're sure we have enough hunters. I can't leave Khoe alone for very long right now, so Dawn and Spot need to be here for hunts."

He stepped forward and nuzzled the woman's cheek. "We'll do everything we can to help you, Heartha. Just stay by Spot until we can get you to Deirdre. I'll talk to her so she knows what's going on."

Heartha nodded. She thought briefly about her secretly planned meeting, a small smile crossing her face at thinking of Howl. She never thought of telling Grayday, as he had just told her that he would rather her stay with Sunspot. "If that's what is best..." She didn't really know Sunspot. Perhaps it would be a great chance to meet her, and learn about this wolf she had never met personally. As well as Sunspot being the brother of Grayday. 

She had to give a little laugh from the names, after he gave a nuzzle of comfort. "Grayday, I've wondered why all your family members have names to do with the early time day. Definitely does not make it hard to see who is related to you." Really, she only said that to try and lighten the mood.

Day gave her a wan smile. "Just until we get this sorted out," he assured her. Privately, he wondered if they'd be able to, and what they would do with her if they couldn't. He knew what he would want done with him, if he ceased to be useful. If he became a threat.

"Heartha," he said hesitantly, not quite sure he wanted to ask her - not yet. But it seemed like she was still making sense, and he didn't want to wait until she couldn't see reason. "If we can't fix it... if you get worse... what do you want us to do?" he asked.

Her attempt at a light-hearted joke flipped upside down when Grayday gave her a choice. A decision, one she did not even think that could be coming. 

It stunned her into silence. Suddenly, she was scared. She wondered what he meant by that, but deep insdie, she knew exactly what he meant. She gulped back the lump in her throat, then spoke. "I...if it goes bad...I don't know." Deep in her mind however, she did know. She knew exactly. She just could not bring herself to saying it.

Day gazed at her a moment longer, his expression unreadable. It was a difficult thing to think about, and he was sorry it was something he'd had to ask of her.

"Then we'll take care of you," he ddecided for her, and by his tone, it was clear that he meant it plainly, and not as a an offer to end her life. "We're family, now. We'll take care of you for as long as we can."

Heartha was glad to hear that. To be called part of a family. A group of wolves she could help, something to keep her going. "Thank you, Grayday...Thank you." She laid her head down onto her fore paws, murmuring one last thanks. The talk, it had helped. She didn't want to go crazy. And to know that the whole pack could help her. She was overly glad.