Morningside Cuesta you have problems but so do i

@Grayday

Each day the pups grew bigger; Dauntless seemed to be the most dependent of the three, despite being the largest by far; he was the exact opposite of Easy who always found convenient ways to pester her mother, whether it be a tug of the ear or a nip at the boob, she knew how to get the reactions she wanted. Khoe (although she knew it was wrong to do so) had decided that her favorite was @Lavender, for she was a mirror of her mother in everything but looks.

Now that they were walking, seeing, and hearing everything around them, it was becoming harder to keep them all contained within the den. Grayday was always near when she needed him, and she was grateful for that above all else. In truth, their relationship since the birth had begun to feel more like a formal partnership than a loving relationship. But love was dynamic and ever-changing, which Khoe was fully aware of. She loved him for being the father of her pups and the provider he was, but that covered it. 

It had become a part of their daily routine to visit the nearby lavender patch. As she sat back and watched the pups explore the stalks, Khoe called, Hey, Day?, and waited for a response.

"Huh?" said Grayday, still glaring at the dark outline of a bird soaring above them. After a moment, though, he identified the flight pattern as that of a raven, rather than a raptor. Ravens didn't carry pups away, and so, he turned his attention back toward Khoe and the kids. "Sorry, what?" he asked her.

Though his ears started off pricked toward her, one quickly swivelled around toward Lavender, who was venturing a bit further than her siblings in order to look at a tall stalk of her namesake. It was a lot harder to keep track of three of them than two, though it was certainly helpful to have a partner to help him through it. His gaze turned tender as he continued to look at Khoe; things were so much better this time around.

A-ru-shi, Khoe called, her voice falling somewhere between a warning and a beckoning. She nodded her head in an inviting gesture toward herself and Grayday, then laughed to see the girl relatively uninterested. The calm air around them was too thick for her to be annoyed by her mate's casual disconnect; rather than stirring agitation, it brought about a laugh. What are you looking at? she crooned, trying to find where his attention had been caught only seconds before. 

I want to thank you, Khoe sighed, now lying down and propping herself onto her side for a more comfortable watching position, for giving me this. I know I haven't been the easiest to deal with, but I've had a lot on my mind.

"There was a bird," Grayday explained, grinning a bit sheepishly. "It was only a crow, though. Nothing to worry about."

His expression softened further at her words. "You don't have to thank me," he assured her. It was his duty; anything less was unacceptable. Besides, it was no chore to have a family - five precious children and one beautiful wife. Even if said wife hadn't been the easiest. "Well I sure ain't easy, either. Don't worry about that, Khoe," he said firmly, moving to physically shepherd Lavender closer to her siblings. He looked back toward the dark shewolf, ears flickering as he registered her last words. They weren't really on sharing terms, lately, as well as they seemed to parent together, but... "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, concerned.

Khoe sucked in a deep breath, exhaling with a soft laugh and a shake of her head. I was just thinking about us, you know? Real life had hit them, and boy had it hit them hard. We never had a chance to become friends. Now we have a family of seven! There's seven of us! Even though Khoe didn't know Sunny quite as well as she knew Dawn, they were both considered family whether they liked it or not. Sunspot, too, but that was another tale.

She stood up and moved over to Grayday so that they were almost close enough to touch. We were so caught up in that infatuation that we didn't even bother getting to know one another beyond sad stories. Like, dude, what is your favorite food? Your favorite color? What do you do for fun? I bet you can't answer those for me, either. We gotta get better at this whole getting along thing, but we need to dig deeper to do that.

Day hmm'd in agreement, thinking about how blindsided he'd been during that argument in the den. He wasn't sure how much he wanted her to know him, if she'd been able to hurt him that badly with what little fuel she had. He'd been holding back since then, afraid to try and connect despite the common blood they shared with their children.

"I don't have a favorite food or color," he revealed with a noncommital roll of his shoulders. "I do like hunting birds, but just because of all the feathers."

These things seemed inconsequential to Grayday. He didn't need her to know what he liked to eat, or the things he liked to look at. There wasn't much for him to see nowadays, anyway. What concerned him was the inherent meanness he'd sensed from her lately, and how she didn't seem to know how (or want) to argue without attempting to hurt the other person.

"I don't know what I do for fun," he went on, ears flickering in thought. "Life is fun. Playing and hunting, sleeping in the afternoon. Watching the kids. I'm not picky, I guess."

And again, Khoe had been misunderstood. She didn't expect him to answer her questions so literally; it was meant as just a conversation starter. Grayday just saying these things seemed so much less intimate than she had wanted. In her head, she had invisioned the two of them walking together and looking off into the sunset as their children ran circles around one another. She'd imagined a lot of things ending like that, but reality always had a way of reminding her that fairytales weren't meant to exist in real life.

Nevermind, she sighed, turning her head to the lavender patch, That didn't really have the same effect as I'd wanted. I just thought the two of us having a friendly get-to-know me talk would help, that's all.

Grayday turned his eyes away from where Dauntless was just curling up to take a nap to look at Khoe's pretty face. A sad smile twisted his mouth as he saw the frustration and disappointment there. He didn't like to see her unhappy, but her concerns were not his own, and he had trouble emphasizing with her need to have these moments between them.

"Sometimes you just have to work at these things," he suggested, wagging his tail a bit. "It's like you said to me before - you just have to look at the good things, you know? We'll get better at this. Until then - why don't you tell me something about yourself?"

There were many things Day felt he knew about Khoe. She liked lavender, she loved children, and her spirit was bigger than her body. He knew that she was playful, but that her temperment was far from even. She was nice, and she was sometimes even kind - but she was selfish. He thought he knew her well enough, but he wasn't adverse to getting to know her better. Part of him did long to know the cause between her hot-and-cold atittude.

Well for one, I'm really bad at not moving. Part of her figured that that was why settling down had been so quick and unsatisfying for her, but Khow knew that there was a lot more to do with that than just a bit of wanderlust. She wasn't ready for a relationship; she'd just wanted someone to keep her company, and three children later...

I'm not good with staying in one place, whatever that means. I like to experience new things. Technically, motherhood was new, but it was the scary kind of new; not the good kind that she felt when she discovered a new hiding place or met a new face. Motherhood meant responsibility, and she was really, really bad at that. 

But I've been here for a while, so that has to mean something. I like being around you...most of the time. It was a joke, and Khoe made sure Grayday was fully aware of that by laughing and grinning as wide as she could manage, and giving a playful tug to his ear. I've always known I would travel, but I've always known I'd be a mom, too. Just so happens I get to have both.

Day smiled at that. She'd always been energetic - it was one of the things that'd first drawn her to him. And it didn't surprise him to learn that she was a wanderer. Grayday wasn't sure if the same thing could be said about him, at the end of the day. He didn't just adventure - he ran from his problems. Although, he supposed there was something very exciting about setting off with his friends to find a new home for winter. He could go either way, really.

"We can keep moving, if you want," said Grayday. "We'll have to stick around until the kids are a little older, and then I'd like to stay in one place for the winter - but I like new places, too." Nipped at her ear in turn, when she pulled on his, enjoying the easy affection between them. "And if you're looking for extra excitement, you could always just go ranging for awhile. I could look after the kids for a few weeks, and I'm sure Dawn or Spot would go with you, if you didn't want to go alone."

Khoe giggled and pulled away, jumping only a few feet from where Grayday was. Moments like these had become rare and far between, so even the smallest of them left her heart in her throat. Maybe not quite as high as it had been when they first started sneaking out for nightly games of chase, but high enough, nonetheless. I'd like that, she sighed, but what about Heartha? Her pups? Just to make it clear, Khoe did not give two cares to what happened to Heartha or her lover, for that matter, but the innocents? They hadn't commited any major crimes against her own...not yet, at least. 

I wouldn't mind a trip, either. Maybe meet some new faces, find a nice place for us to settle come winter. It's not a bad idea. Of course, they would have to wait for the pups to be fully weaned (it was a slow, slow process, especially for someone as attached as Khoe was), but she didn't see why it couldn't be left on the table. And besides, Grayday had said it, so she'd already gotten proper approval.

Day's tail wagged in idle pleasure. He was glad he could do something to make her happy, even if it was just suggesting a trip. He knew she wasn't wholly pleased with him, even if he wasn't quite sure why. It was just one of those things, he supposed. There were things that he would change about her, if he could, but that didn't make him any less committed to the relationship. It was clear to him that she was trying, and for him, that would be enough.

But Khoe wanted a fairy tale. It was something he'd come to realize, lately. Something about him wasn't what she dreamed of, and though his own dreams had alarmed Khoe, Grayday couldn't fault the woman for her own.

He'd found out with Amber that he didn't need her whole heart in order to have a happy life. As long as she was good and kind to him, and as long as she nurtured their children, and as long as she was happy - Grayday didn't really mind what she did in her freetime. He was sure he'd feel differently if it were someone like Adeline, but then, not even he could predict what he would be willing to do for her.

"Heartha?" he asked, unable to see the connection for a moment. Belatedly, he realized that Khoe, too, had done the math. Heartha's children wouldn't be ready to move for several months after his children were. "I've been thinkin' that... maybe we ought to move sooner," he revealed. "As long as we take our time, there's no reason our kids couldn't make the trip a month early - and we're not in any hurry. But if they're born and we still haven't moved... I don't think we can wait for them to grow up. Either they die on the journey, or they die here in the winter - but we're not going to stick around to see that."

It was harsh, but it was reality. Heartha had known about their plans to move before she'd gone and mated. He'd even told her she'd have to wait, and the woman hadn't listened.

Khoe nodded her head in agreement. Their three would be more than ready to make the trek, and even if it was a little slower than what would have been preferred, they'd still make it. Do we know where we're going yet? she inquired, remembering the less-than-certain end to their pack meeting. So far as she knew, they were still on the lookout, which meant that someone would have to start scouting soon. Maybe that's what I could go scouting for, with Dawn, maybe. A little bonding couldn't hurt, right? She was technically her step-mother, after all. 

Khoe took a deepp breath and jokingly asked, I think we're pretty good at this parenting thing, huh? Moving an entire pack with young children during the beginning of the cold season was a heavier topic than she wanted on her shoulders, at least for now. She just wanted to enjoy the time with her family that she had with jokes and lighthearted conversation. Serious talks could wait until tonight when they went back onto standby.

"I'd really like to be near those hotsprings," said Grayday, ears flicking back in worry. Other packs probably had the same idea. Prey animals would come from all over to enjoy the springs in the winter, and the Morningsiders themselves could enjoy the benefits of both the easy meals and the heat of the water. "I think we're going to end up moving on before the pups are ready to be away from you for too long," he went on. "That way, you'll have a few months of good weather to explore before winter."

That, and as much as he blamed Heartha for her own circumstances, he didn't think he'd forgive himself if he didn't give her pups a chance to survive. He wasn't going to put his family in undue danger, but there was no harm in heading out a bit early.

He laid down beside Dauntless and looked up at Khoe. "Yeah," he agreed, though privately, he had some reservations about Khoe's maternal instincts.

The idea of moving so early gave Khoe anxiety, though she had no real doubt that they would all make it. And if either parent thought that something could be wrong, she was confident that they would halt the entire trip until the children were ready to travel again. Plus, a trip like this would make for a good opportunity to work on weaning.

I like that, she told him, thinking back to the hot springs near to her first whelping den. They hadn't served quite the same purpose as Grayday hoped for, but that was another story. I wouldn't go to far, anyway. Not right now. If anything were to happen while she were away, Khoe would never be able to forgive herself. If she'd had it her way, she would bring them with her, but she knew that they were too young for an expedition like that. 

You did good with Dawn. I just wish she would come see them a bit more. I feel like I haven't gotten a chance to really talk to her since she found out about the pups, and that didn't really end too well. Maybe they could invite her to watch the pups for a while, so that she could get to know them a bit more. Or perhaps a hunt was in order!

Day glared at another speck in the sky, only to realize it was the same raven from before. Appeased once more, he turned back to Khoe just in time to hear her complaining about Dawn's distance from the rest of the family. He, too, wanted his daughter to be more involved with her younger siblings - but something about Khoe wanting this made him feel strange.

The male gave a cagey shrug in response to his mate's words. "She'll come around when she's ready," he suggested, thinking that he'd rather not have Dawn and Khoe talkin' to each other. They were both hard enough to handle separately.

I guess, Khoe sighed. Dawn was, after all, still a kid. Maybe she felt threatened by her new siblings, or perhaps, she just had things of her own to worry about. It still didn't help Khoe's disappointment, but she would have to cope. I'm thinking they've had enough of the outdoors for now. Pups this young weren't meant to be outside for too long, and mealtime would surely be coming up soon.

"Yeah - this damn bird is driving me crazy," Grayday agreed, nodding toward the raven that was still hanging around. He knew that the second he didn't look at it, it would turn into a hawk and eat one of his children. That was the way things worked - a father could never let his guard down. But, at least in the den, there was only one way the predators could get to his kids: through him.

Together, mother and father shepherded the children to safety, and the little family lived to see another day.