Silvertip Mountain Did you find something?
Private  August 05, 2017, 01:29 PM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta

Sebastian had traveled toward Silvertip after his conversation with Mato. He was pleased to see his son and glad that he found at least one of his family members. It was tough to see him go but he knew he had to, again. The male noticed as he gotten closer, that the pack that had been there before did not seem to be there anymore. Sebastian frowned lightly. He wasn't their greatest friend after adopting Odette.

All the marks were washed away too, they had been gone awhile. Would he need to tell Odette? He didn't know where they went, so maybe it was something she could better find out herself. Sebastian threw his head back and let out a howl to see if Andalusia was already here in the area. If not then he would camp out here for a few days. He could use some rest. Sebastian looked tired and worn. His voice was croaking of the many howls he had sounded into the air in search for his family.
August 05, 2017, 07:26 PM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
<3 Let the feels-trip begin! Also, in case my writing isn't clear, the wolf she's thinking of in the third paragraph isn't Sebastian... :)

Andalusia gripped the mountainside, and pebbles clattered down the sloping rock to disappear into the bushes far, far below. Wind tangled her silken fur, dirty and unwashed in the frenzy of her travel, and her eyes scanned the sprawling land before her. From her vantage, she could almost see the world. The brilliant sun brought the frothy ocean to life in the north, and to the east, the Plateau sent long shadows across the rolling flatlands bowed at its feet. Forests and fields wove themselves in an intricate patchwork, framed by the mountains and accented by trailing rivers and pockets of water. The sight was awesome - and yet she stared out with apathy, for her mind could not find a place within itself to draw in the beauty of what she could see. On the air lingered the fading echo of Sebastian's call, and she let the land settle to silence before she returned her voice with a single note and peeled away from the precipice to meet him.

She found him waiting on one of Silvertip's lower slopes, his face toward her. The thickening trees cut shadows against him, and accented the deep lines of his face. Sunken and worn, the father held the scent of neither Nova nor Pearl, and Andalusia felt the ache in her chest grow, and her thoughts trip back to a time before even Sebastian had known her.

Had he bent with the same exhaustion when she had slipped into the dawn? Had he looked for her in the same way Sebastian scored the earth for Pearl? The guilting questions had not left her, and only grew when she saw Sebastian, a shadow like he had been. The beams of sunlight that marred the path toward her friend warmed her fur, but every step made her paws feel like they had turned to stone. She failed to quiet her thoughts, and her head fell with a downcast shake of the only answer she could give.

No.

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

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August 06, 2017, 04:37 AM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta
Yes! I can't wait! <3 Ooooh super interesting! :D

Sebastian was quite surprised that a howl sounded after his. It seemed higher up and further away but at least Andalusia already made it here. Sebastian hoped that she hadn't been waiting too long for him. The large male sat down, to rest his weary legs. He traveled before, to find new pack lands, but he couldn't remember that it had exhausted him so much as it did now. It felt different at least, now he tried to turn over every stone to find his mate and daughter then he was just looking around to see if he saw something nice.

Sebastian's ears picked up the familiar footfalls of Andalusia. He let out a soft sigh, pleased to see her. His blue eyes scanned over her. He wondered why she looked worried. Though, then he realized that his raw howl and physical appearance weren't the greatest. "Anda," he greeted, pushing himself to his feet and his tail wagging a bit. The male was clearly broken with the idea that he lost his family. Though, that wasn't the first thing he would speak about though.

"Good news. I found Mato. I talked to him already. He is doing well, and trying to set up his own pack," he informed. Though, then came the dreaded news. "He had not seen Pearl or Nova. I think... I don't think it is fruitful to look for them anymore," his voice broke when he said that. Mato was still alive, but he had a pack to back him up. Nova and Pearl were probably roaming, all alone, looking for one another, or worse, they weren't roaming anymore. "Maybe they are both back already at the Caldera," he spoke, sounding so hopeful. He didn't want to sound too negative. This search felt like finding two needles in a haystack. It felt impossible as he had no clue in which direction they had gone. It didn't seem in this direction.
August 06, 2017, 07:53 PM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
He greeted her with a sway of his tail, but Andalusia could see the emptiness in every inch of him. Or maybe, she could imagine it with a measure only those who had suffered, or caused such pain to another, could imagine. Her jaw tightened, and she glanced down, trying instead to focus on the pattern of her feet against the ground.

Sebastian spoke, and Andalusia continued her slow approach. So they no longer had a need to travel any further than this mountain; he had found his son, at least, but Mato had not been their primary charge or concern. Andalusia only managed a forced smile at the news, but no thing of joy settled in her, and her face fell again. They had turned over every stone to find only dirt and worms beneath. No scent, no track. Their search was over; as far as they knew, Pearl and Nova were gone.

Andalusia didn't share the same hope as Sebastian, and the levity in his voice grated against her. But she managed to hold her tongue, though her teeth pressed tightly against each other. There had been no word nor sign of the girls for nearly two moons. If they had any intention of returning, they would have already. They were gone - but age had wisened the Ostrega, and where she would have once exploded with cutting words to release the build of stress within her chest, she opened her mouth more slowly, and calculated her approach - though she couldn't keep a certain edge from her voice. She was tired, worn, and emotionally exhausted. Everything ached, but she would try to hold herself together. For him.

"Maybe." If only she could just reassure the father that that's exactly what they would find. But Andalusia was not that type of girl - had never been. Any way she looked, the odds were not stacked in their favour, and she clenched her jaw before saying, "But maybe they're not. Then what?" He had to keep living - that was the answer - but that was something even she, for the longest time, had been unable to do.

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

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August 10, 2017, 04:55 AM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta
Sebastian's shoulders sagged in sadness when the female asked him what would happen if his girls weren't back at the Caldera. He would have to accept that they aren't alive anymore. There wasn't anything he could do if they weren't there except to mourn for them. He would hate to think that he lost both of his girls. He had watched Nova grow and felt like she was strong and independent enough. And Pearl, well, why she left was truly a mystery. The male sighed. "I will have to accept that then. Focus on Benjamin and Ivy," he spoke.

He just kept in mind that Mato would visit him as well. It was also a reasoning for him to travel back to the Caldera. He glanced in sadness at the female. "I just thought that this wouldn't happen to my family," he spoke softly. He thought they would always stay together. The first hit was when Mato left for that other pack. Sebastian looked at the sky and then turned to the general direction of the caldera. "Let's go," he spoke and started walking. There was no trace of both females, so there was no scent to track. They had vanished from the earth.
August 11, 2017, 11:04 AM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
He gave her the answer she hoped for, but felt nothing. Sebastian sunk like a rock to the waves, and hearing him mention the names of his children made a part of Andalusia wish she could erase her words, and the harsh reality they expressed. Sebastian wasn't just some number she could rattle off, or some hard fact of life - he was her friend, a father, with his children, his mate, and a future that should have been filled with watching his sons and daughters grow to have families of their own. These things happened to so many, and she thought she'd know the words to say - but now, facing her friend, with real sorrow and grief, all she wanted to do was find Pearl and Nova and pummel them to the Caldera's depths to stop them from ever leaving again, and for ever causing him this pain.

This shouldn't have happened to him.

But her thoughts came with a piercing irony, and her shoulders sagged at the weight of it all. "We never do," was all she could say, before she fell into slow rhythm at Sebastian's side.

Nova could be excused - she was young, volatile. Wolves her age did stupid things, and Andalusia just prayed no harm had fallen her. She hoped the girl had left on her own volition, and thrived wherever her paws had taken her. But Pearl. Her ears burned at the very thought of the pale mother, and Andalusia stared at the ground. She had everything, everything Andalusia had ever wished for, everything Andalusia could never have. And she had just... left it all, and this was what made the Ostrega's heart twist with a sickening flame. But beneath the thick anger and accusations, Andalusia knew she was in no place to judge, and her heart weighed like waterlogged fur with the heavy question of why.

But what came from her mouth wasn't that question, nor any question she wanted to ask, or any words she wanted to say. Without a glance toward him, she spoke the only words she could muster: "I'm sorry we couldn't find them."

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

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August 11, 2017, 02:00 PM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta
Sebastian slowly nodded at Andalusia's words. He had over analyzed everything, from Pearl's disappearance and the possible connection to the vanishing of his daughter. Sebastian let out a long sigh. He blamed himself for not being vigilant enough. At the time he just wanted to give his children space to explore without him panting down their necks. Maybe that would have prevented them from going away.

He put one paw in front of the other to keep his body moving. However, he stopped when Andalusia spoke again. His gaze looked confused for a moment. "Don't be sorry," he returned to her and then offered a sad smile. "We did our best. We had no scent to track or footsteps to follow," he added. A long sigh left his lips. It was almost like Pearl wanted to vanish. He would never know what happened to her if she wouldn't return.

Sebastian wanted to distract himself as he started to walk again. "Did you ever have a mate?," he asked Andalusia out of curiosity. He wasn't sure if the female would answer his question. Though, as his friend, he hoped that she would give some more insight into her private life.
August 11, 2017, 05:41 PM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
A heavy sigh echoed from Andalusia. Of course, Sebastian was right. With nothing to follow and no tracks in sight, they'd done everything in their power to search out the girls. That they hadn't found them was no fault of their own. But the situation was beyond her control and her ability to fix, and this understanding fueled her frustration.

Her friend prevented her from dwelling on this. His question pricked her chest with heat and she ran her tongue across her teeth. "No." She said, and paused, only to follow with a slow and careful, "Kind of." She breathed a deep breath, and let the air out through her nose. "His name was Adrien." A name that now felt funny on her tongue, and that brought the feeling of flying and like she would she would throw up all the same. A grimace of a smile twitched on her lips - one that seemed to wish it might rather be a frown. "Or is, I suppose." She didn't know how much to share, or how much Sebastian wanted to hear, but she left herself open. The pain he shared - and everything they'd gone through - made telling him feel almost right.

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

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[Image: outrider.gif] 0/5
August 12, 2017, 06:59 AM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta
Sebastian wasn't surprised at the strict no, but then the female corrected herself. The male tipped his head slightly in curiosity. He figured it hadn't worked out after all seeing that she wasn't together with him now. Perhaps it was just as a painful story as that he had endured? "You aren't together anymore," he stated and swallowed. "You don't have to tell me if it is too painful," he spoke to her in return. He wouldn't want to cause pain.

The male wondered what would become of him. Would he ever find a new mate? Would he get over Pearl? He had been pretty fond of her. The male also liked to think he was a good mate to her. Now he was doubting everything because the female left without another word as to why she had left.
August 18, 2017, 05:43 PM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
He offered her the option of silence, but she shook her head. No. He had asked, and after all these years, she was ready to speak. "It was all a long time ago. We were young, and we were in love." She rolled her shoulders, as if casual, but sobrerity showed in the fall of her gaze. "We had just come of age, and we were ready to start our lives together. We would have a family, but then I found - " her breath caught, and she discovered the words were still too painful. Andalusia drew in another breath, to steady herself. "Well, there were complications," she settled on that, "and when I weighed the options, I reasoned his temporary pain was better than the lifetime of dissatisfaction he would have if he stayed with me. So I left." Her jaw tightened, but in place of regret and usual pangs of grief, she suddenly felt a strange pulse of fear, paired with the distilling question: What would Sebastian think of her now? Her chest fluttered in a sickening way.

"Anyway, I don't know why I'm telling you this." She flicked her tail, but her ears burned. The queasy twist of her chest did not subside. "Maybe to say that sometimes, things happens that we don't understand, and we get angry or afraid. And then we act out of that fear, and we think we're doing the wolves we love a favour, maybe even by leaving them. And we can't see that really, we're just hurting them in the end." At this she stopped, and turned to face him, but she stopped short of looking at his face. Her mouth felt parched - but she pressed herself to speak what she thought he needed to hear - yet the words that formed were ones she hadn't expected. "I don't know why Pearl left, but unless you find out otherwise, don't think for a second she left because there was something wrong with you, okay? I don't care what you think, but don't you ever think that."

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

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August 19, 2017, 04:30 AM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta
Sebastian slowly nodded when she shook her head, saying that she wanted to tell him. He felt happy that she wanted to tell him. He realized when briefly looking at their past that they had endured things together as well. It was good to see that they had become good friends. Sebastian listened actively to her story. He found it curious what she said. There were complications. He was curious as to what those complications are but he didn't ask. It was a sad story. "But the short pain you caused him, it caused you pain in the long term," he spoke softly to the female.

"I'm glad you told me,"he responded before listing again. He felt that Andalusia was very wise. Probably because of her hardship she gained such knowledge. The male smiled at her. He had to admit that he sometimes did think that it was his fault. If he had done something wrong. However, maybe that wasn't the case after all. "Thank you, those words really help. Yet, sometimes you can't stop to feel that way. Maybe I did let them down by moving to Redhawk Caldera? I will never know," he spoke with a soft sigh. "Thank you,"he spoke then and smiled. He moved in closer and gave her a lick of thank you on her cheek.

He realized that the advice she gave was probably because she left someone out of love. He wanted her to know that he was there for her. He wasn't leaving. "You will have to know that I will be there for you. If you ever feel pain. I will try and make it better," he spoke. He didn't think of her as a bad wolf for leaving. It seemed her way of coping with ... complications. Sebastian looked at her. "What were those complications? Are they bad? Is it something I can help with?"
August 20, 2017, 04:10 PM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
Sebastian was perceptive and, of course, right. At the time, Andalusia had made her choice with the knowledge she would suffer, perhaps even longer than Adrien. But she hadn't been able to face the alternative, and when all was spoken, running had been the easiest way to escape the moment. Yet her restlessness had only grown, and she'd been running ever since. Outriding helped distract her, but the end of the road brought her paws back home, to other families, and to the thoughts of what could have been.

What she watched in Sebastian stilled her heart, and a weight she'd long carried eased from her shoulders. His worries were normal, and she gave ear to listen - but before she could speak, his tongue flashed across her cheek and she flinched, and any words she had formed to give were lost to her surprise.

Yet with his words, the weight lifted even higher, and she leaned in to pass an amiable bump to cheek. "And you'll have to know the same goes for you. Even when I'm chasing the wind, my ears will always be open for you." Whatever happened, she wouldn't leave, and if Pearl was gone, or if she returned, the Ostrega would stand at Sebastian's side.

When he drew his question back, her jaw tightened, but his gentle response had softened her, and a careful smile crept over her face. "It's nothing that you can fix," but the hurt welled within, and she fell quiet for a long moment. She trusted Sebastian, but her heart picked up speed. Finally, she continued, "You know it takes two to start a family." There was nothing to fear, but that speaking would make things real. For as long as these things remained in her mind, she could pretend they weren't a problem. But they were. And she was tired of pretending, so Andalusia ripped the wound. "I can't."

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

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[Image: outrider.gif] 0/5
August 20, 2017, 04:41 PM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta
Sebastian was glad that the feeling was mutual between them. They both wanted to support each other. It made Sebastian feel better, less alone. For a very brief moment, he could forget that he lost half of his family. Soon he remembered and he felt his heart ache. His lick to her cheek might have been too much but luckily she recovered and responded well afterward. Sebastian's tail wagged gently.

He was sad to hear that he couldn't fix her complication. He could tell that she was hurt just by thinking of it. Sebastian realized it must be very bad. He slowly nodded when she started to explain. He had a feeling where this was going. After a pause, she confirmed his thoughts. She couldn't have pups. What a terrible thing to endure, especially to endure alone. Sebastian felt upset for her. He had a very emphatic character after all.

He thought about the time she returned to him and realized that he had a family now. And how he introduced her to them as his rescuer at the time. He had been so clueless. He showed her glimpses of that family life while she couldn't have it. He felt terribly cruel! Sebastian's face gave most of it away. "I am so sorry," he spoke. "This must have been terrible for you. I have been nagging about my family and in happy times showed you how it could be and---" he choked a bit.

"Forgive me, Andalusia," he spoke very sincerely. He stepped closer so she could seek comfort with him if she wanted to. Maybe she wanted to go through this alone. "I do not want you to think any less of yourself if you are doing that. You are a wonderful healer and saved many lives. Mine. You already created life by saving me. Perhaps that helps to soothe your mind," he added. Perhaps he was speaking too much. He inhaled softly and looked at her with compassion.
August 22, 2017, 06:58 PM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
Two small words, and the fur felt ripped from her body, and the branches from the trees, to leave her naked and exposed upon wide and barren ground. Her mouth remained parched, thoughts unnervingly quiet, and she was left only to turn a sidelong glance upon Sebastian and wait for his reaction.

His face distorted, and she tried to decipher what ran through his mind. But even with the bare display of his heart, she could only determine so much, and soon she found herself looking away to let her thoughts rest blank, reserved to listen to nothing but the kicking of her heart, until the rumble of his voice finally broke.

His words tumbled like rushwater, and a growing sense of anguish filled Andalusia, that he would think for a second he'd done wrong in worrying for his family, in being proud to share them with others and with her. "Sebastian - " she started, but fell silent. He had more to say, and she managed a small smile at his comfort.

Often, she'd told herself the same. That her life was well used in the healing of others, that though she had none of her own to look out for, she had many still to care for. But Andalusia bit her tongue against telling Sebastian his words didn't bring the comfort he hoped they would. For though she had many good things, they would never be quite the same as what she knew children would bring. The want for them went against all her logic - she had fewer worries, greater freedom. She could where she wanted and do as she pleased, without worrying about mouths to feed or tempers to quell. But even after watching Sebastian - and so many others - struggle through the ups and downs of parenthood, her heart only filled with greater longing for even the chance to experience that. How she would still give up her freedom, her wants, her everything to have that.

"Sebastian," she repeated, and crossed the small gap between them to bury his face against his neck. She held there for a long moment - for his comfort, she told herself - but at the touch, she reconized she needed the contact perhaps just as much. She still pressed against him, but angled her mouth away from his fur to speak. "You did nothing wrong." The complete opposite, for while times had been painful, there'd been a joy in knowing the life that had come from a wolf she'd saved, life that otherwise never would have been. "And thank you."

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

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[Image: outrider.gif] 0/5
August 24, 2017, 10:13 AM
Sebastian
Redhawk Caldera
Zeta
Sebastian smiled softly when the female moved against him for comfort. He found comfort in the closeness of the female. He missed Pearl and the contact he got from that. Having Andalusia so close his life finally felt normal again. He didn't feel like he was cheating on Pearl. They both needed this comfort whether it had more than a friendship feeling. Sebastian liked to think that Andalusia was a very close friend. Especially after she saved his life.

The male leaned his head against her for a moment. Until she spoke, then he lifted his head to give her a bit more freedom to move. "I think you are still one of the most wonderful and generous wolf I met. I think you are beautiful and this isn't your fault either. Remember that," he genuinely spoke to her. "I'm glad you told me," he spoke to her. He wished that she would feel better by his words. But he wasn't sure that it would make her feel better. His wish to be a father came true and her would never come true.
August 25, 2017, 01:13 PM
Andalusia
Redhawk Caldera
Kappa
This couldn't be dangerous - the contact felt right. And given the depth of their friendship, she took his lean against her as an expression of the care they should feel for each other. If their hearts did not ache together, hers for his, and his for hers, then what good would their friendship be? Hardly acquaintances - but they were more than this, and she leaned into him, on the knowledge that his friendship allowed them the freedom to embrace, and care for each other, in a way she seldom extended to those beyond her family. Her mind caught with the thought. Family. Well, maybe, in the emotional intensity of their short time together, that was what Sebastian had become.

The thought didn't scare her. When Sebastian eased his head away, she withdrew. There was a freedom in friendship, an even greater one in family, and a laugh rumbled at the back of her throat at the mushy sentiment Sebastian lent her. In a tight circle, Andalusia moved to vantage, and flicked her tail against his side with a smirk of a humoured retort, like she would have given to her brothers, if they found themselves in an overly gushing mood. If she was honest, she still didn't know how to take the praise he offered, but she could hear he meant it, and so she wouldn't object. 

"Knowing you, I trust you won't let me forget," she teased, but her face softened to show him she was grateful for the words he'd given, "and I'm glad I did, too." Their situations still sucked, and still hurt, but in the midst of the weight, she felt somehow lighter. Maybe because she wasn't alone. Neither of them were. She turned to stand forward facing and at his side again, with a gentle gaze cast upon him. "Now let's get ourselves home, before Elwood sends a search party for us."

Are you good with wrapping this up here? We definitely need another thread with these guys <3 Mostly because I love this friendship so much. Perhaps Andalusia can show Sebastian he can have lady friends without needing to fall in love with them haha :P <3

She wears her loneliness just like a crown
But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

Trades
[Image: outrider.gif] 0/5