Blackfoot Forest somewhere inside, I hope you still see me just the way I was before I walked away
you are loved, you are loved more than you know
354 Posts
Ooc — Jaclyn
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#1
Private 
@Kove :D Are you okay with backdating this to around the 5th or so? I'm hoping to jump in on Xan's thread as well, so that is why (: also, long title is long, but I really liked it, so... there we go... haha!

The forest was alive with sound and, being herself a creature of the night, she could name them for what they were. Foxes, and many. They struck more of a curiosity in her than a fear, and when each cry went up, Nanook tried to distinguish the voices apart. Over the nights with no one else to keep her company, she had found that like wolves, the collective of all creatures were made of individuals. When she had come to see that, she had come to see that like wolves, too, each individual had their own look, their own noise, their own self, and the revelation made her wonder what else they shared in common.

These thoughts busied her mind, while she kept the rest of herself occupied by snailing along the mountainside that hugged the forest's western edge. She had been near mountains times enough to know the secrets of some - the hidden labyrinths and dark corridors she'd sometimes called home - and she wondered if she would find any here. The peek of dawn filtered through the thick canopy above, but in the shade of the forest, the vagrant, save for the twin fires scoring every crevice of stone, melted with the shadows of the rock.
with every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath, I promise
I'll do better
Atâtak Atsanik
918 Posts
Ooc — Kuro
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#2
AHH, SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG WAIT! < / 3

Night had yet to fall over the lands when he first departed from the woods, drawn away by a sudden need to get away from everything. Things were strange now, with Blackfeather often seeming as if it might be on the verge of becoming nonexistent. Still, he remained, loyal to the blood within it, though so much of it was not his own. And although this was the case, his mind wandered with his legs, soaring beyond the Teekon Wilds and back towards his place if birth, curious of the status of his northern family. Always might he wonder of them, yet, never could he leave to sooth his curiosities. For the last time he had ventured so far away, all had been lost to him. His family, his daughters, his pack, his heart—the Inuk remembered the time back when he’d had it all, and knew well that he could not get it back.

Kove’s travels took him beyond the mountains, bringing him into the same valley that he’d left behind so long ago. In the back of his mind, he dimly recalled having promised a journey away from home to Astrid, but knew it too late to turn back and return for her now—nor did he even really want to. It was alone in the darkness where he thought best, evaluating his life up until that very point and taking note on each and every time that he’d messed up; unsurprisingly, the number grew considerably after his initial arrival into Teekon. So terribly lost within his own thoughts, it was not until the other was well within his line of sight that he’d slowed to a stop, copper eyes trained on her with some spark of recognition igniting deep within their depths. The fire, though steadily building, had yet to reach the surface, and so it was with simple neutrality that he said, “Hello.”
you are loved, you are loved more than you know
354 Posts
Ooc — Jaclyn
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#3
It's all good! <3

After an incalculable amount of time, Nanook stopped, backtracked, and slowed to press her snout against the jagged face of stone. A thin crevice scored the mountainside, so small she had missed seeing the gap completely, but her nose hadn't been so careless. A cold, dank smell rose from the opening, different than the warm and earthy smell of the stone around it. Something more like what she'd expect to find near a lake or a bog, but certainly not in a mountain. A thrill ran through her, and when she moved again to carry on her scouting, an eagerness brisked her step.

But she hardly took more than five steps when a voice - masculine and near - stole her ears. The fur along her neck bristled, and her first thought went to the foxes. They were her only company out here - had one come to speak with her? Her heart fluttered with like fear and curiosity, and she turned, but who she saw was no fox, and her veins ran with ice.

The branches above swayed draping shadow across the wolf, but even in the darkness, his fur glowed paler than moonlight and the Northern snow. Something all too familiar, and not at all. Nanook flinched a paw across the ground and shifted away - but she met the ghost with eyes of like fire, and a simple and parroted,  "Hello."
with every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath, I promise
I'll do better
Atâtak Atsanik
918 Posts
Ooc — Kuro
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#4
Perhaps it should have been an immediate thing, his recognition of her, for there was blood shared between them. It was by his doings that she and her siblings had been conceived, and it had been his heart so awfully fragmented by their separation. Yet, despite those factors, the pieces had not all fallen into place right away. She had grown since the last time that they’d seen one another, filled out and aged into a beautiful, young woman. In fact, he really should not have found it within himself to recognise her at all, but those eyes disallowed him the chance to look no further into her. The same fire that he bore witness to come time to catch his own reflection burned upon her face, contained within two orbs so that the world might not be incinerated by them. It was those eyes that made everything click into place, for a father could never forget the stare of his own flesh and blood.

“Your name?” he requested, a fondness creeping into his voice that he knew he should have kept out. Although he felt as if he knew her, there was no certainty behind his assumptions, and so it was with practised caution that he spoke. Should she not be his, he wanted nothing more than to not attempt a connection with a total stranger. Yet, at the same time, the possibility that she was left him unable to be cold. Swallowing, he tried to free himself of his inner battle before looking directly at her, awaiting an answer and hoping that it’d be the one he wanted to hear.
you are loved, you are loved more than you know
354 Posts
Ooc — Jaclyn
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#5
She stared, for his name wouldn't leave her, and she feared if she turned, his face would disappear to the shadows of the dawn. He wasn't real - couldn't be - because finding Desna had been impossibile enough. No, for all the times she'd dreamt of finding him, that was what this was - a dream. He hadn't changed from what she remembered - only that he seemed somehow smaller now - or maybe she had simply grown. He held her with a bright and copper stare, too much like her own, and when he spoke, his voice rang with a softer edge she dimly remembered, a familiar note that charged every inch of her spine.

She had to get out of here. She needed to run, to bar herself behind the walls of her youth, the ones she'd constructed and so carefully preserved - the ones that could still protect her. She needed to go - but she found herself speaking, a simple and quiet exhale. She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. "Nanook." And the polar girl matched the flames of his eyes.
with every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath, I promise
I'll do better
Atâtak Atsanik
918 Posts
Ooc — Kuro
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#6
With one word—only two syllables—he felt time slow down around him. Ever so faint, he could almost feel the Earth’s rotations, as well as hear every breath of wind that dared drift passed his being. And as his gaze widened, he did little more than stare, searching for a way to ensure that what he had heard—and what he was seeing—was, in fact, true. But he needed little convincing, knowing even before she’d uttered her name that they shared blood, her being one of four reminders of a time he so missed. She, his daughter, was alive and well, and had been brought back to him by forces unknown.

Joyous tears threatened to spill over, a reunion he could never have imagined being just what was needed to further soften the man. And it was moments thereafter that he closed the distance between them—should she allow him to do so—and sought to rest his chin atop her head. To embrace her in the only way that he knew how, whilst muttering ever so softly. “I’ve missed you,” he told her, able to speak no louder than a whisper. “You’ve grown so much... I’ve missed so much of your life, I—” Cutting himself off, he pulled away and looked at her, a sorrowful smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he said, “I’m sorry.” For not being there, for not watching her grow up, for all the pain that he surely caused—for everything.
you are loved, you are loved more than you know
354 Posts
Ooc — Jaclyn
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#7
<333

Her legs froze like a creature of ice for every fraction his eyes widened. She couldn't look away - and, so it seemed, neither could he. Their silence stretched, and the forest, so frequented by the shrieks and wails of the foxes who lived here, seemed to deaden. Nanook did not register the time that passed, whether seconds or minutes or hours or years, for her mind busied with her more pressing concern: what to do with the crack his ghost nailed against her floodgates; how to hold back the waters that pushed against the thinnest walls of the heart he'd helped to freeze.

And he ran to her, and she did not move because she could not move, and the touch of his chin upon her head, his softest utterance, they consumed her like a dream - I've missed you - you've grown - I've missed so much -

I'm sorry -


And as he pulled away, fixed her with those words, and reflected his heart upon his lips in the slightest curve and fall, the ice dislodged, and wave after wave crashed over the Apaata, and she remained frozen, unable to speak. Unable to move, to say I missed you. I missed you. He missed her - He loved her.

The thought tipped her headfirst, and her movement came in a heavy and consuming shiver that heaved her shoulders uncontrollably, and wretched hot and ugly tears down her cheeks.
with every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath, I promise
I'll do better
Atâtak Atsanik
918 Posts
Ooc — Kuro
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#8
What he expected was not something so easy to imagine, but what he received was something vastly different. There he stood, frozen in place and struggling to find his words, whilst her body shook and tears began to stain her face—tears that swelled within his own eyes, threatening to spill over. But he held his back and, instead, reached out to her again, nudging her cheek with his nose and hoping to stop her tears. What he’d done wrong—oh, how the list went on—he could not place in that exact moment, but he wanted to do right by her; he wanted to do as a father should, pushing aside his rising insecurities and focusing solely on his daughter.

For a moment his mouth opened, several words lingering on the tip of his tongue, only for it to shut shortly after with nothing having been said. There was so much to say, so much that he wanted her to know, but he couldn’t find it within himself to speak. His voice was gone and he made no moves to locate it, instead taking the time to tilt his head downwards and press his forehead to hers, hoping to, in some way, comfort her.
you are loved, you are loved more than you know
354 Posts
Ooc — Jaclyn
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#9
@Kove tagging, because I'm terrible and take forever ;_; I do want to keep going with this, though <3 For hopefully obvious reasons haha!

He said nothing, and her ears buzzed with the silence. Even her heavy tears ran without a noise - but she was used to the quiet now. But when she felt the warm press of his head against hers, his firm and gentle touch crashed her back to the surreal reality she found herself in. Nanook made a sloppy reel forward and, with the gravity of everything, pushed her forehead past her father's so she collapsed into the strength of his shoulders, and there, she wept.

"I'm sorry too." Her words choked through the thick clutch of her throat, and muffled into his fur. Why did he have to see her like this? She was supposed to be strong, like the ice bears he'd named her for. But all at once her defences fell - those she had built up to protect her from everything like this, those she had thought impenetrable - but they had always been cracked, hadn't they? Her heart had always leaked through, and that was why she ran. Deep guilt crept through her heart with long, dark fingers, scratching at the memories she had tried so hard to suppress.

"Was it my fault?" She whispered.  "That you and ma..." her breath caught, and she could only finish in hoarse repetition, "was it my fault?"
with every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath, I promise
I'll do better
Atâtak Atsanik
918 Posts
Ooc — Kuro
Offline
#10
Shhh you’re fine ♥ Take as long as you need each time, it’s all good. Love this thread too much to not continue with it. (´ω`)

He let her cry, his cheek pressed against the back of her head, keeping her in his embrace. After being apart for long, he wanted to be there for her at last, giving her the shoulder that she needed to cry on. He wanted to take her worries away, leaving her with a clear mind and unburdened heart—he wanted to make up for all of the times that he hadn’t been there, for all of the milestones he’d missed out on and the pain he had caused. Kove cared for her more than he could anything else—he felt the same towards Desna, Sesi, and even Alexander. Each of them was his child, however long they’d been away from one another, and he couldn’t feel anything less than undying love for them. Yet, he couldn’t voice these feelings, tongue-tied and mind jumbled. All he could do was gently shush her and say, “It’s okay,” over and over again, wanting—needing—to ease her suffering.

The second she opened her mouth he pulled back and stared at her with wide eyes, frantically shaking his head. “No, no, no,” he said, the words rushing out of his mouth. “Why would you think that? It could never be your fault.” His gaze softened and he closed the distance between them once more, nudging her chin with his nose. “It wasn’t your fault, Nanook. Don’t for even a second think that it was—you did nothing to cause what happened.” His heart ached, learning that she blamed herself. But how could she think any differently? He hadn’t been there to explain what had happened, he hadn’t been given the opportunity to assure her that everything was alright, that it was his fault. “If you’re going to blame anyone for us splitting up, blame me. Nanook—” he exhaled and shook his head. Blame me. For everything. It was my fault. I wasn’t there for you and your siblings, I wasn’t there for your mother…” He’d chosen to chase after a ghost, rather than stay behind and look after his family. Because of his decisions, his actions, everything had fallen to ruins.

I’m sorry,” he whispered, voice strained. “I’m sorry for everything. I wish I could go back and change so much of what I did but I can’t, and I have to live with that—you shouldn’t. You’re too young to have such a heavy weight on your heart. It wasn’t your fault.” How could it be? She had been the perfect daughter, so bright at such a young age. She could do no harm, cause no problems—her existence could only bring joy to her parents, Kove especially.