Wheeling Gull Isle My heart belongs somewhere else

Tapat stood at the start of the sea bridge. He looked longingly at the other side as the sandbank was forming because of the tides. The mainland. He knew Lagan had to be there. He had looked and howled on this island for the time he had been here and Lagan hadn't been responding. Nor did his mother and father. He only had Hemlock here. He wanted to be loyal to her and wanted to stay with her. But he also wanted to see Lagan. Why couldn't it be the same as it was before? Where Lagan came to visit him. He wasn't visiting him anymore.

The young adult bit the inside of his cheek with a slight frown on his face. Could he be out there on his own? Be with Lagan? Was it silly of him to pine over this guy that hadn't been visiting him? Tapat felt that he had a real dilemma here. He didn't want to leave Hemlock. He loved her as well but differently than with Lagan. A whine came from his throat as he didn't know what to do. He then radically turned around and rushed to @Hemlock's den. She might know what to do. She always knew what to do.

 

Tapat's whine drew her attention, a worried look to her face as she spotted the boy and his pale coat. She left the children in the haven of their little cove, nestled together to keep warm during their little nap, and left the den to go find Tapat. Hemlock reached up to give a little nudge to his cheek, taking a seat next to him to peer across the sandbar. "If I knew where to send you to find your happiness, I would." She admitted. As slim as the pack itself was Hemlock worried over even sending Tapat and Ceallach out together. Arturo would probably not take to a trip even briefly with Tapat as worked up as he'd been. 

"What can I do?" Hemlock asked him, wanting Tapat to be straightforward - if there was anything she could do she wanted to. It was just hard, of course, between trying to keep her family afloat it felt more and more like Hemlock was just getting dashed across the rocks and torn apart herself. 

Tapat instantly snuggled closer to Hemlock when he saw her. He buried his face into Hemlock's thick fur and sniffled softly. Her words were always so comforting. He felt so bad now for even thinking of leaving her. He was really struggling with this. "Lagan isn't here. I have been looking for him every day since we arrived here and I finally remember that he isn't here. He isn't," he spoke, not that he had to convince her but it was more of a real-life realization that Lagan wasn't here.

"I don't know," he spoke and pulled back a bit to look at her. "I don't want to leave you or my siblings. I don't. I would feel terrible to leave you. And out there it is all big. I will forget. How will I find him? It is impossible. I don't know what to do. I will be unhappy if I leave you behind here, but I will also be unhappy staying here knowing Lagan is somewhere out there. And maybe... My memory is always broken. What if I don't remember Lagan the right way? Then I would have left for no reason. But unknowing and feeling stupid it also dragging me down," he let out in almost one single breath which, was a big stream of words coming from him.

 


Hemlock could feel the sorrow emanating from Tapat and worried that she had demanded them to go the wrong way. Maybe they never should have left the forest. Maybe they never should have come up so high. She sucked in a deep breath and curled up against him, the wind sweeping both their coats. "He is very far away, I fear." It seemed everyone else was just as flighty and she worried that she had lead them to the wrong places. THat it was her fault, specifically, despite everything that had happened. "Tapat," Hemlock frowned when he called himself stupid, looking up to him. "You are not to use that word about yourself. You are not stupid - your heart is never stupid." She said quickly. "It may not make sense - and love rarely does - but you cannot let that scare you." Hemlock wouldn't want him to hurt, and wanted to make sure that she met his needs too. 

"What if we asked Ceallach to go with you?" She asked, her voice softer, since she didn't exactly want to let either of them go. How could she demand that he stay, however? What sort of monster would she be if she did that?

Tapat let his head dip when Hemlock confirmed that he was far away. He knew that Lagan couldn't be here. He had to be somewhere else. Tapat hadn't even realized that he called himself stupid but he felt that way sometimes because he couldn't remember. "But... Hemlock," he wanted to protest. He really didn't see himself being able to live outside of the territory alone.

Tapat blinked. "Ceallach? But... then you would still be here. Alone. And what if something happens? Or what if I lose you too like Momma and Pappa," he spoke with a frown. But it would be a nice option if Ceallach would go with him? But the only problem would be leaving Hemlock behind.