Cedar Sweep doesn't matter if you don't wanna play my [ game ]

@Delight

The frozen stretch of land was covered by a vast network of cedar trees, and Zada couldn't help but feel a little safer underneath them. She had just finished hunting, and was settling down for her meal-- a skinny, scraggly red fox that had been unfortunate enough to cross her path. The tall woman picked out a place between two close-leaning trees and curled herself between them, beginning to gnaw at her kill.
She had often found herself lonely in the times between Brienne's visits-- though she knew the girl visited more frequently than was appropriate anyway, given her pack duties. It still left quite a bit of free time, and Zada couldn't bring herself to wander too far from her gentle sea-spirited nymph. She chewed thoughtfully, suddenly wondering about the girl's packmates-- the mysterious other who had captured the attention of Brienne's ex-lover, and the man himself, the now-former leader. For now, she did not know of any others; it didn't matter, she supposed. It was enough to know one to be heartless and another to be a homewrecker, she thought wryly. The rest surely were either miserable or just as bad.

he has got to stop these solo excursions to the sweep. they were problematic enough before, when mato expressly forbid leaving the borders alone and he did it anyway, and now he's morwinyon. but sometimes the cloud of doubt and anxiety perpetually on his tail overtakes him, and he wakes up with breath caught in his throat, choking on his own insecurity, and he has to walk to clear his head.

he makes a small, sad shape in the snow, his delicate lines pulled inward. delight's never been the type to repress how he feels, despite hiding it under seven discrete layers of sulk and pomp - but he has all these núro in his care, now. they're looking to him to keep them safe through winter. he can't let tindómë break down around them with burke's dying breaths. he can't let mato down like that.

so he ignores the chill and keeps his moon-soft eyes firmly on his feet, so in his head he misses the scent of the girl and her kill until he's nearly on top of them. with a startled yip he stumbles back, fur fluffed up like a surprised cat, stuttering "s-sorry!"

Zada noticed the little thing's approach long before he almost ran into her-- she was unperturbed by it, not sensing any hostility (only a distinct lack of awareness).
She did not fault him for it, instead choosing to chuckle softly. It's okay, little one.
He was even smaller than Brienne, delicate and soft-- an attractive specimen, if only due to his more feminine features. It had little effect, though; Zada had never been anything but sapphic.
I have not seen you here before. You seem troubled. She rumbled, studying the boy's face for a moment. Her pine-green gaze was curious, gentle; she saw no reason to be hostile, considering the other wolf seemed more startled and dismayed by her than anything.

to his relief and confusion, she doesn't seem bothered at all by his nearly crashing into her. out of anyone else's mouth, little one would put a bristle in his spine, but somehow her voice puts him at ease - reminds him a little of gracious, actually, although she's about as far away from the bulky girl in appearance as can possibly be. 

the androgyne squirms a little under her gentle inspections, never very comfortable with things like sharing feelings or kindness. (he thinks of brienne, back before - back when she was still seabreeze and the light of mato's world and delight clung to the shadows and watched helplessly, and how she'd coaxed his tragedy out of him, the first time he'd opened up). "you could say that," he says, finally, his voice coming out a little scratched. in a way this is a perfect opportunity: he can't talk to brienne about all of this, she's part of it -- he can't talk to burke or mato, or gracious, or anyone else in tindómë. he's weak and that's not a secret, but he can at least pretend he isn't falling apart because of all of this. he can manage that much. he looks at his feet for a second and then adds, "ummy name's delight," because if this kindly stranger is going to extort him for a heart to heart he might as well be polite about it.

Delight. The dark woman repeated, blinking at how familiar the name sounded (though it was not the obvious connection-- Zada had yet to hear any names out of Brienne). She only paused for a moment, realizing the association was childish at best-- his name simply sounded like... she swallowed, and threw herself back into the conversation. A lovely name-- it fits. I am Zada.
She rose to her feet, slipping from between the trees to stand facing Delight, taking care not to stand too close to the smaller wolf. Possessing an above average height, she was sensitive to unintentionally being intimidating, and the poor boy reeked of anxiety already. Something about him (the fleeting reminder of a ghost from her past?) triggered an almost maternal feeling in her, and when he seemed receptive to her questions it only inspired further.
What burdens you, little one? Zada sat now, wrapping her tail around her paws. She felt another surge of that oddly maternal feeling, and then-- Are you in danger? It was a calm inquiry, but tinged with concern.

okay, yes. the quickest way to delight's heart is to compliment his name -- though he's wont to suffocate under good intentions. but then again - he suspects if he chickens out and has to flee, zada won't be off put, and that gives him the courage to answer her questions.

"not in danger," he says immediately, and feels incredibly embarrassed. "things are just.. complicated at my pack right now. um." delight takes a deep breath. when he speaks again, the words whoosh out of him, tripping together in his rush to get it said. "our leader is taking a break to tend to his dying grandfather so i'm stepping up in the meantime but i don't think i deserve that but also i'm in love with him so i can't let him - or the pack - down, and it's weird because there's all this - tension between me and him and his ex-mate." tension is putting it lightly, but there's a limit to how much he's willing to divulge, and even now he feels his skin burn under dark fur, flushed and vulnerable.

Like a cruel puzzle, the boy's confession fell raggedly into place with what little information Zada had gleaned from Brienne. She blinked, her eyes only betraying her for the briefest moment-- shock, recognition, guilt-- as she stitched each piece of the story together, a prism of hurt and messy feelings from where she was standing.
Ex-mate? She repeated, deciding in that moment to pretend she knew nothing of the situation. Lying came naturally to her, though not without some hidden remorse. Did they-- was it because he returns your feelings?
Then she shook her head suddenly. You don't have to answer that. I should not have asked. Tell me, little one: is this what you want? To lead this pack for love, if your heart's desire should never return to his role?
After a pause, she added: I am not criticizing. I have known wolves to lead for worse reasons. She lowered her head slightly, eyes soft. But it seems a path to self-destruction.

he catches that split-second, and his brows furrow, concerned, but it's over in a blink and she's moved on. he doesn't think he imagined it -- he's good at catching these subtle things -- but still he doesn't know what could have caused it. maybe she's been through something similar and he reminded her of that pain..? (never would it occur to him that she's spoken to brienne, and about him.)

at her question he shakes his head, even as she quickly backtracks. "i don't mind," the morwinyon tells her honestly. "it's not very - it's not a secret, really. but, um, no. that's not why." and he pauses, because he means it, he realises suddenly, in answer to both. he takes a beat to collect his thoughts. "i mean i - want to do good by him, yes. and i worry -- but it's not... tindómë was my first home after... i lost my birth pack," delight says awkwardly, glancing down, "and i really do care about it. but.. i don't know. i told him -- we were talking about his ex, because she'd been missing, and he said he'd almost left to go look for her.

and if he'd done that, i would have followed him, even if it meant our destruction." he chances a look at her face, embarrassed. "i think i still would," the androgyne admits, and it hurts him a little, "but then sometimes i think maybe i wouldn't, now. i don't think he'd leave, i mean, but sometimes he gets stuck on things and someone has to follow him to pull him back, you know?" and it should have been brienne, in a better world.