Stone Circle Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong
Private  February 21, 2018, 01:20 AM
Illecebra
Easthollow
Zeta
@Mawk crazy Cebra thread #1 involving foxxo Burr. Backdated to the 19th?

Illecebra hadn't been quite right since the group had returned. The stench of Burr's corpse haunted her as well as the sight of his blood and intestines. When she got home she'd hidden herself away and tried to keep away anyone who came close. She hadn't eaten in days and she hadn't gone to the water to drink either. 

Today she left her hiding spot drawn out by the sound of high pitched whimpering. It sounded like a baby...her baby....he needed her. She ran toward him and saw the little grey form hunkered down upon the ground. Burr...it was her Burr...she grabbed him by the scruff gently and pulled him close, laying down and beginning to frantically wash his fur. "It's alright Burr, momma's here. She won't leave you again." she murmured.
February 21, 2018, 10:44 AM
Mawk
Easthollow
Eta
Since Burr's death, there had been a silence in the family. The sight, when they had come across the blood and the intestines, it plagued him at night - violent, dark images that haunted his mind when darkness fell. However Mawk did not cease to do his duties, still stuck to his routine of patrols in the early hours of the morning and during the late afternoon. The occasional nightmares hung like a lingering shadow but he did his best to continue onward, a calming stroll aiding in soothing his nerves and settling the dark thoughts. It was a loss that had pained both parents, one that would not ever be forgotten. 

Today he had believed would be simply another day, and as his paws drifted across the snow he found himself taking slow, deep breaths, stilling under the shade of a tree only to breathe, to allow his gaze to wander. The man caught sight of Illecebra, his mate, and remained silent for a moment, watching from afar - it was in his nature to wish to draw closer, to bring whatever comfort he could to this fiery woman, but the flame had been dampened and it was such a heavy loss. After a few heartbeats of hesitation he did start his small journey closer, to close the distance between the pair so that he could embrace her only to pause at the scent of a fox. His brows creased with confusion, moving forward until he could spot his mate cooing at the small creature, the mention of Burr catching like a snare in his chest, and he remained frozen in the snow for a while longer. "C....Cebra?"

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February 21, 2018, 08:52 PM
Illecebra
Easthollow
Zeta
The small ball of spiky yet soft greyish fur was so different from their deceased son yet Cebra only saw her child. In her disturbed mind he hadn't ever left nor had he grown up, he was still the quiet and easily scared child that had thought Valette a monster that hid in darkness. The whimpers had changed to small quiet whines as the faux Burr peered up at her from behind his tail and she smiled warmly "There now...it's alright. Momma's here." she murmured and placed the softest of kisses upon it's forehead. She sniffed at his fur and noticed no trace of milk scent, for a moment she wasn't sure if he was still nursing or not brows drawn in confusion.


Her sniffing was interrupted by a soft voice, calling her name. She bristled and lifted her eyes, fierceness making her look feral for a moment. As she looked at him it seemed to take entirely way too long for her to recognize him as another low growl rumbled her throat. Then her demeanor changed slowly, twitching lips dropping and eyes softening as she began to smile "Oh! Mawk! I'm sorry...I didn't recognize you for some reason. Here...Come see your son! Burr was crying so I came out to comfort him" she spoke kindly and stood up, gently gripping the Fox's scruff and carrying it to Mawk. She set him down by her husband's paws and then sat down, an almost expectant, happy look on her face.
February 22, 2018, 11:16 AM
Mawk
Easthollow
Eta
The anger in which was returned to his approach startled the man and he took a step backward with his body tensed in confusion and prickling worry. There was a moment of silence, and Mawk took this opportunity to assess the situation, though it brought him only confusion. Indeed his vision had been correct and what he had seen was not a mirage formed from the sadness of his son's death - his mate really was here, standing before a fox cub and defending it as if it was her own blood. The gamma's tongue drew out to sweep uncertainly across his lips, eyes glimmering with various thoughts and mixed emotions. A side of him was fearful, anxious of what was to come of his mate and her... whatever her mind had come to, another side was sorrowful when he came upon the sight, and another was angry. Angry because something was wrong with his wife and he had no idea how to fix it. Her words struck a nerve and he felt his heart sink - oh no

"Ah... Cebra..." His gaze trailed to the innocent youth, and he frowned. His angel seemed so happy, and she placed the cub just in front of his paws. "That... that isn't Burr. That's not even a wolf." Internally he cringed, stressing over what Illecebra's reaction would be to his words - if she truly believed this was Burr, it was likely she would not take it well. "That's a fox, my love." Mawk attempted to draw closer to lick gently at her cheek if she was to allow it, hoping he could ease any anger she had after his statement.

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February 22, 2018, 02:21 PM
Illecebra
Easthollow
Zeta
The happiness vanished from her face and she recoiled from him as if she had been snapped at. Not Burr...not a wolf...the words floated around her mind and she sucked in a breath as she stared down at the boy. Her mind warred with itself, thoughts of of course you knew this....but he looks like burr...he's helpless...he needs his mother...but his scent is all wrong, not wolfish... gave her a distant and panicked look as she hunkered down to the ground, grief twisting her features as her lucidity came back. "I think I knew...I just...I have moments where everything is all wrong" she said in a broken voice. Then the fox pup made a curious stream of babble and bumped against Mawk and the lucid moment was shattered.

"He..he needs us around more. He isn't like cyron and rowana who can entertain themselves. He's more...he wants to learn and he is easily scared. He wants his father too...not just his mother" she began to ramble before suddenly standing up and pulling the fox toward her with a protective paw. "Don't take him from me Mawk...he needs me. He was just left here." her eyes were once again clear as this time she seemed to realize this was a fox baby, not someone that had came from her and Mawk's pairing.
March 02, 2018, 09:21 AM
Mawk
Easthollow
Eta
The joy in her expression faded suddenly at his words, and Mawk almost backpedaled in an attempt to reverse his words. Don't be mad at me, his thoughts begged silently to Illecebra, a plea - he wanted only the best for her, but he didn't know how he felt about her replacing the presence of Burr with a fox cub. It wasn't... natural?

Grief twisted her delicate features and Mawk cringed, pulling himself closer to lick gently between her ears if she would allow it. The words that slipped from her muzzle sounded heartbroken, lost, and he pressed closer in an attempt to hopefully fill some of the hollowness that he too felt within his chest. "It's okay, it'll take time to get over his... d-" He almost choked on his words, feeling them catch in his throat - he couldn't bring himself to say it. "This." the man finally settled with, biting his lip. So much for being comforting, idiot.

He almost jumped in surprise when the cub bumped against his leg, and he felt a swirl of guilt for the thing. Illecebra's next words only furthered this, and he found himself less and less willing to cast it away. Oh, why do you always make me go soft, he muttered to himself in silent thoughts, thinking of how different he had become after meeting his wife. "I won't... I won't take him from you," Mawk whispered, feeling a strong tug at his heart - he couldn't do it. He couldn't take this cub from his mate's grasp if it made her happy, if it filled some of the emptiness that he could not.

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March 03, 2018, 10:14 PM
Illecebra
Easthollow
Zeta
She allowed him near and pressed against him, eyes squinting shut against Mawk's words. Death. Burr's Death. Just say it..She thought even though admitting it to herself made her want to throw up. She licked at his shoulded gently and began to cry silently as he said the pup could stay. "I..im sorry Mawk. I have been so awful to you, hiding away and snapping at you. Im awful...I just...Somethings wrong with me" She admitted.
March 13, 2018, 12:48 PM
Mawk
Easthollow
Eta
He pressed himself against her side in attempts to bring some comfort, though a deeper frown cursed his masculine features when he heard his mate's cry. She apologised, then, and Mawk simply shook his head. Oh, her words hurt - because he wanted her to be happy, and to see her in such a state caused his stomach to churn with grief. "You don't have to apologise... I understand... You miss him, don't you?" The last words were spoken softly, whispered, and he looked up to meet her gaze. "I miss him too." 

"Nothing is wrong with you... losing a child takes it's toll on every parent."
With that, he placed gentle licks at her cheeks to wipe away any tears.

Mercenary/Guardian 1/5
Ambassador: 0/10
March 14, 2018, 11:51 AM
Illecebra
Easthollow
Zeta
The silent admission of Burr's death brought with it clarity. Sharp,wounding,painful,agonizing clarity. Unable to hold back the pain any longer she dropped to her belly and crawled forward, pressing her face into his chest and sobbing. "Yes I miss him. But do I have the right to? I hadn't seen him since we left to track Cyron. I didn't visit him. I last saw him alive when he was a baby Mawk."She sobbed and hiccuped between words, her body shaking and convulsing with the force of her shame.


"And then we found him. Grown and...and brutalized. By those same savages that fucking hurt Cyron. When is this going to stop?" she continued her sobs slowly fading until she whispered the last question in a broken voice. "Why can't we have peace Mawk? What have we done to deserve this?" she asked him, peeling her face away from his now soaked fur.