Wapun Meadow can you still smile, into my daugher's eyes?
i will pry his bony fingers free
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#1
AW

the storm that had battered the valley days prior had left the slopes doused in thick snow, and the trees that studded the gentle valley were still cloaked by endless white. occasionally a bough groaned and shifted the weight of its burden downwards, and the snow would fall with a soft thud that shook the forest. indra had picked her way past the meadow and into the fringe, trailing the bright chatter of winter birds. all around the sorrel wolf the temperate clime had settled in a layer of snowmelt, and soft drops of water trickled down the damp trees to dapple the forest ground.
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#2
Walking was not as easy as it used to be, but with his back left leg pulled up against his stomach it was a lot easier to get by than trying to use it, so that's what Nikai did for now. After discussing with Valette that he wanted to leave he decided to go to explore for a little bit so he could decide his course for leaving. The meadow was adjacent to the new pack, Bearclaw Valley, though Nikai knew little about it aside from hearing that it was Valette's family that'd settled there.

A smile was hard to wipe off his face considering the chirpiness of the birds all 'round them. Nikai inhaled the crisp air and smiled softly as he thought of spring. It would sure make travel easier too. Dark ears perked forward as he saw someone else nearby and Nikai woofed to fetch her attention. He didn't have many friends, and was eager to make new acquaintances.
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#3
she hadn't browsed long in the sundappled forest before there was company: indra froze, her gaze drawn to a shape approaching with a strange gait. as the form neared, indra saw he was holding a hind limb to his ribcage. at first the girl had mistaken him for terance, but as he drew closer the shape of his muzzle and the sheen of his eyes was marginally different.

she kept her ears pricked and eyes upon him, though she was mostly curious about the limp he sported. she was wary -- he was a male, and she was alone -- even with a limp she was not taking chances. she didn't approach him and instead maintained a respectful distance, though she answered his chuff with a question her own: "what happened to your leg?"
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#4
Nikai halted a respectable distance away; like she, he was feeling fragile being out alone and with a functioning leg less. Nikai'd gotten used to getting by on three legs recently, but things were different now that he was outside of Easthollow's safe confines. She seemed a bit withdrawn but Nikai did not mind, for it made him feel a bit safer. Her missing tail was noticed right away, though he thought it might be rude to ask about it; he couldn't imagine anyone wanted to talk about how they lost a tail. That wasn't something a bison or other animal of prey would do, so he sensed a dark story must be behind it or a punishment of sorts.

His story was a lot less tragic and so he did not mind elaborating when she asked for it. "Hunting accident," he disclosed with a sheepish smile. "Haven't been able to use it since. The wounds seem to have healed, but standing on it still hurts." Nikai was beginning to lose hope it might ever get better now. Quickly he changed the subject to a more comfortable one, his voice soft as he introduced himself. "I'm Nikai. From Easthollow, it's near here." He wasn't sure if she was from near here, so just in case he elaborated. Nikai thought of what he had asked of Valette. To travel, finally... Maybe soon he'd no longer be able to introduce himself as an Easthollow wolf if he decided to go.
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#5
Indra's gaze trailed curiously to the affected limb, a frown knotting her soft features. In hindsight she realized it might have been insensitive to ask after the nature of the injury  (after all, how would she have felt if it were her tail as the topic instead?) - but the male seemed to answer without any detectable resentment.

"oh. did you have a healer take care of you?" indra had been lucky to have both poet and blondine to tend to her - perhaps Nikai had not been so fortunate.

"indra. I live in Bearclaw." at first the redleaf had been reserved to be so forthright -- yet Nikai's condition and deferential mien had eased some of the cold defensiveness from the girl.
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#6
"Yeah, uh — I don't really know what's wrong with it, but several healers've looked at it and tried to fix it." At least the fevers had subsided, and he was happy enough with that for the moment. "But enough about my leg." The statement wasn't unkind, it was mostly that Nikai wasn't very used to focussing on himself; he was always out looking out for everyone else and he wasn't used to this much attention. Usually it was the other way around, and now being the cared-for and spotlighted one wasn't easy for him to deal with.

She introduced herself and Nikai smiled. "Nice to meet you," said Nikai and he glaced in the general direction of Bearclaw Valley. Having lived here for quite some time he knew of the territory though he hadn't visited it since the pack had been founded there. "How're you liking Bearclaw Valley? Your pack was founded fairly recently, right?"
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#7
like nikai, indra much preferred the spotlight to be deflected elsewhere. she could see that he was not so dissimilar in that regard, and while she loathed the idea of the topic turning back to her, understood well the sentiment and discomfort behind it.

he asked if she liked bearclaw; indra's ears splayed to the side and betrayed her opinion. she had never been asked if she liked anything -- much less her home -- but it caused a stirring of discontent (that had been there all along, just repressed) to snake its ugly way in her heart. truly, was she happy?

no.

"yeah, we settled a few months ago." indra answered, trying to quell the unease that threatened to overtake her. "the valley is pretty." it was an evasive answer, but an answer nonetheless. "i live with my sister there - we were one of the first two wolves to help establish it. what about you? do you like easthollow? what's it like?"
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#8
Nikai could tell that the girl wasn't the most comfortable in her new pack, but he didn't want to pry too much into her personal life since she didn't look like she wanted to elaborate too much. She said that she and her sister'd been some of the first wolves to find the pack, which made it surprising to Nikai that she seemed to regret her choice now. "Wow, you were founding members? That's nice." He decided to focus on the positive for now; if she wanted to elaborate on the rest of it, he hoped she'd do so, but Nikai caught the hint she didn't want to.

In response to her questions he said: "I pretty much grew up here, so yeah. My mother's the Alpha. I was born on a mountain to the west, Silvertip, but when me and my sister were pretty young we moved here, so it's pretty much all I've ever known, this pack." He didn't sound too worldly, he realised and tacked on quickly: "Though I'm considering leaving soon. Picking up travels so I can see a bit more of the world, if the leg allows."
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#9
indra was grateful nikai did not push the matter; she supplied a short nod at his question, recalling their first days in bearclaw's fold. indra had been terrified to meet the bear -- that fear had long since dissipated.

so much since then had changed, too.

while nikai may have thought his words exposed how small his world was, indra envied it. he sounded stable -- his family sounded stable -- what she would give to lead that existence, to never leave it behind. she would have given anything for her and laurel to have that, and for a moment her gaze looked hooded by pain. she struggled to mask it and offered only a slim smile to ward away the troubled expression that had overcome her countenance. "that sounds nice, though." she blurted, having caught the forced way nikai mentioned traveling. "we've been traveling forever. where would you go?" she looked after him curiously, one ear tilted back as she considered how hard it had been for her and laurel to simply subsist without a pack. "aren't you scared?"
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#10
Indra seemed to think that his life was pretty nice, and he supposed that it was. "It is," he said, even though he felt rather unworldly. At least he was with family. But Nikai also had the urge to go and find out who he was, to learn more about the world and about himself all at once. Indra asked him where he would go and then if he wasn't scared, but he shook his head. "My sister always wanted to travel, see other packs, see the world... I always said we'd go, but then she just died one day." His smile fell and Nikai frowned as he recalled the day that Keoni'd died; it was still so surreal some days, so even to talk of it seemed weird and foreign.

"She never got to do these things because we stayed for family and, I don't know, maybe because we were scared, I don't know. I feel like I've always looked after my family my whole life... But now that a part of that family's gone, I think it's time to find out who I am." Nikai wasn't sure if Indra would understand, for it sounded to him like she had had a lot of time to figure out who she was, from the reactions some of his answers and questions'd given. Maybe a bit too much. But after talking to Valette Nikai thought maybe others knew the feeling, and that it could help them understand just why he wanted to do it. He didn't want to wake up some day filled with regrets.
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#11
indra gravely absorbed the male's words -- his wants, his impressions -- she soaked his tone and his story up like a sponge, worrying her lower lip with a tooth as she listened. she didn't know how, but she understood -- or at least, identified -- with what he was saying. her ears fell to her skull at the mention of his sister's loss, and she mumbled a disheartened "i'm sorry." into the ground.

she did not judge him then, for he had laid plain his reasoning and shown every piece of his patchwork -- their lives had been wildly dissimilar, but he had at least shown her who he was and what he wanted, which was more than most wolves afforded her. she nodded as he finished, though her expression remained grave as she imagined the worry his surviving family members would experience in his departure. "will you come back?"
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#12
Nikai shook his head when Indra said 'sorry' for his sister. It was no one's fault what had happened, though he appreciated the gesture she offered. She seemed a kind soul, though broken. She asked if he would come back and he nodded, even if he was not sure it was a promise he could make. "I intend to." He could not just leave his family, not forever. But for now, he needed to go. Be selfish, for once.

"Sometimes you just need to think of you first, instead of always caring for those around you," he went on to explain. He didn't think she needed more explaining but somehow he still did. Maybe not just for himself, but for her, too. A reminder, in case she had forgotten. "You can't take care of everyone when you are unhappy, after all." That was one of the reasons he knew he had to go. His family did not make him unhappy but the circumstances did, the trapped feeling, the feeling of needing, well, more. Not from his family, but from himself.
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#13
for a wolf hardly more than two years of age, indra found nikai to be refreshingly erudite. she shouldered his words quietly, consuming them -- he was right, and she knew it. at least he said he was coming back. indra gave him a brief look that suggested she would hold him to his words, intention or not.

she kept repeating what he had said: you can't take care of everyone if you are unhappy. she knew she was unhappy; she knew laurel was unhappy -- but what could be done to change it? their life was not some idle reality in which to slip from; it was an all-consuming, unrelenting reality they could neither flee nor hide from.

"you're very wise, for a wolf who says he hasn't seen much." she finally offered at length, having nothing else to impart but her impression of the dark male. why hadn't he been at bearclaw -- why hadn't they run into him, instead of xan?
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#14
She looked like she was giving it a good thought and that was all Nikai could ask for. He smiled softly as she called him wise and chuckled almost bashfully at her while he searched for words. Eventually he said: ".. thanks." With a small smile he then offered: "Hopefully we'll see each other again." When he returned, because he really did intend to return at some point. He couldn't bear to miss his family forever.

Then after a short pause in which he searched for the right words Nikai added: "Take care." He reached forward, stretched his neck to gingerly touch her cheek if she would let him in gentle farewell before he would turn away and be on his way, home, to spend a little bit more time with his family before it was time to go.
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#15
;-; bye nikai <3

her compliment (had it been one? indra thought so) drew a bashful chuckle from the male, and indra's eyes fell upon him carefully, noting the way the speckles along his cheek rose when he smiled. she thought, in a way, that there was something endearing about him -- and she hoped genuinely that their paths would cross again.

she nodded after he spoke, agreeing -- though her eyes fell to the ground and she tried to disguise the momentary sadness. when she looked up he had reached towards her, brushing her cheek in a warm, caring gesture that caused her blood to pump and cheeks to turn fiery. she labored over what to say and finally said "...hey... good luck out there. i'll be in bearclaw valley when you come back." she tried to offer him a smile that hid her discouragement, and brushed her nose against his cheek in return before making her leave.
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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#16
The gesture was well received, luckily, and Nikai smiled as she brushed her nose against his cheek. Before he left Indra said one more thing and Nikai smiled at her. His words were full of positive confidence when he spoke again: "Thanks. See ya when I get back." His tail waved a few beats before he turned around and vanished towards Easthollow -- home, and it always would be. But not before he turned 'round a single time to look at where she had been, to see that she too had turned around to go. He hoped that her life would become happier and that their paths would cross again -- and that when they did, she'd have lots of stories full of good things to tell him -- and Nikai's decision felt all the most solid now, despite having just made a friend out here, as he started making his way back towards Easthollow -- towards home.