Bearclaw Valley you are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down

Laurel had heard of the birth of the alpha's children -- his first litter, anyway -- and it had struck her harder than she thought. Perhaps it was the pairing with promoting her that made Laurel realise just how badly she needed to get out, get the fuck out, leave this place, or alternatively... make it her own. Her children were everything to her now, well, them and Indra, and she needed to provide them with a good place to stay. And this... this was not a good place for them. Laurel was afraid of losing them but she was even more afraid of what sort of lives they would have if they would grow up here and if nothing would ever change. And after they were here, surely she would not be able to do much for them.

So she left @Indra asleep by the birthing den as she set off that day, highly pregnant, towards @Annasiak's den and the children that lay there. She wasn't really sure what she was doing, but she knew that she needed to do, well, something. Hopefully she would not run into @Xan for she could not stand to see his face right now. It was only a reminder of how he had betrayed her for the wolf who did not deserve to stand beside him. On shaking limbs she made her way there until finally the scent of newborns and milk grew thicker, along with her resolve.

it was finally a true spring morning — blue skies and lifting temperatures — and annasiak was sleeping right through it.  the pups were a week old now and still as small and needy as ever, given they were born prematurely, and motherhood was taking more out of it than she had ever expected it to.

she did not wake at the sound of heavy and self-assured footfalls; normally those belonged to her mate, and the only other that had come to the den had been @Forrest as she tended to the new mother and child.

it was only as the redleaf's scent became clear that annasiak blearily roused from her slumber and protectively she curled around the tiny bodies of her newborns.  laurel was the one she was least worried about — she had extended an olive branch and it had seemed to work, but the matriarch did not like her so close to the den without having had her own pups yet.

she held her breath, hoping the other female would just pass on by.

Indra woke with a startle, Laurel gone and the den seeping in coldness. She shifted to her feet with a rough shake, half expecting to find her sister outside -- she was not.

A frown worried her features and she set after Laurel's fresh prints with haste, trepidation turning into steely resolve as she recognized the path they took. Like Laurel Indra longed to leave, and the closer she got to the den the stronger her feelings on the matter grew. Xan's scent was heavy here; to scent how frequented the den was by him, when theirs was never visited at all.. the revelation evinced a bitterness the Redleaf could not swallow.

She made no sound as she stepped under the threshold behind Laurel, her eyes trained to the new life the den shielded.

Attention was focussed solely on the den's entrance and the life that was held within. She thought back to Tapat and Astik, thought back to how unfair their births had been. This was no different. She had tried to stop it then, abort their lives when they were little -- a little big bigger than this, though -- but to no avail. Would it really be different this time? Her legs were shaking as she thought of it, of their necks between her jaws and their blood spilling freely. Then she thought of her own children, and something changed. How could she take something like that when she herself carried life? It was unfair, life as it were, but still she would not wish it upon her worst enemy.

As she heard Indra's footfalls behind her Laurel felt nothing but shame that was quickly morphed into anger, for it was the only way she knew how to utter it. She turned her eyes like daggers towards the den that she now stood in front of, hearing the rustles inside and knowing that the new mother was there, and said sharply, her hackles raised and face wrought into a dark frown: "You took everything I should have -- how could you do something like that to someone? To anyone?" The words were softer and more pleading and non-understanding than intended, but soon they raised in tone as she continued, voice turning to an accusatory high-pitch screech: "How could you!" She deserved to be Alpha, and she deserved Xan. As a proper father to her children, as a supporter by her side, if nothing else. At the very least she deserved that much. She had tried to reason with Xan and he did not understand that he was being a shit father to her children already, that he wasn't there now so why would he improve any? Now it was time to call out the dumb girl on her beliefs because, well, maybe she just didn't know. And if she did, then she should know what a terrible person she was, Laurel thought. Hormones and the fate of her future children in her mind did not help to soothe Laurel's mind any at all, further fuelling her irrational anger. Indra's presence was forgotten a moment as she waited to see what the girl had to say for herself.

they cornered her at the mouth of her whelping den and she crouched delicately over the suckling forms of her babes, a snarl raising on her lip.  their forms twisted into her mind, and her nightmares formed clear visions in her head: these women were here to take her babies and crush their yielding forms between their wanting jaws.  

although her nightmare faded, her body remained bristling and aware; her muscles were taut.  annasiak let the redleaf reprimand her — for what, this time? — only for the sake of her babies.  she was growing sick of being accosted at every corner when she had made one mistake in her time.

anna had been here since the formation of bearclaw.  anna had been the first woman to sleep with alexander.  anna had spent countless hours showing him what life was like when he had fun.  anna bore sentry to the borders daily, guarding them from intruders — she had killed on behalf of the valley.  anna filled the caches while she was pregnant despite her need for food, anna had thus far met every intruder and hopeful that showed up on their doorstep — what had laurel ever done that anna had not?

she wanted alexander to run at her beck and call when she had indra to care for her — if xan tended to laurel, too, where did that leave anna?  but that didn't matter, right?  so long as the redleafs were happy, all was well with the world... even if they had to burn it down to get what they wanted.

but it was not anger that held annasiak's gaze when her mismatched eyes bore into the pale seafoam of the gravid woman.  it was pity.  leave, she commanded level and soft, arching her maw in the direction from whence the women had came.  annasiak had taken nothing that hadn't been offered to her freely — that much would hopefully come to laurel with time.

sigh i had a nice post all written out and it got lost. have this garbage

Indra kept close behind Laurel underneath the shadowed arch, her chest tight and heart seized as she witnessed the hurt verbally spill from her sister. It was true in her mind that Laurel deserved what the unintellgent wolf had more than anything - while she did not speak up, her gaze simmered with the perceived injustice.

It was ironic that Indra was so preoccupied with Laurel's mistreatment that she didn't see how Xan had wrong her too -- she had deserved a promotion for quite some time, yet Xan remained oblivious to their contributions. That a quarrelsome, argumentative halfwit had been elected to lead instead...

#NotMyPresident.

Indra was disappointed but not surprised to hear no defense from the beast. She made no motion to leave -- as far as she saw it, Laurel had not gotten her answers here.

Indra remained silent, further zoning her out from Laurel's world of existence then and there. Perhaps it would've been better to shout at Xan some more -- he, after all, was the one that had taken her and then rejected her -- but she had already done that and it hadn't made anything better. That's all she wanted. To not feel like the child abandoned by her father, abandoned by her mother, then betrayed by her father again... To feel whole, somehow, to be loved, to be fixed. She sought this in the arms of men who were a lot like her father, it seemed, for Xan was no better than Reek had been. Would he, one day, show up and steal her children if she chose to have them grow up without him? Suddenly she understood Saena better -- well, the part of her that'd taken them and left Reek, anyway; not the part that had abandoned them, too -- for could she really live with Xan here? Was this how she wanted her children to grow up?

No resistance came. No anger, even. Why would she, anyway? She had everything, the dumb girl, all the things she could ever want. It further angered Laurel that she should stay so calm and collected and said no more than one word -- leave. A pain stirred in Laurel's abdomen and she gritted her teeth as her eyes threw daggers at the dumb girl.

"Doesn't feel nice, does it?" said Laurel, her hackles still bristled and tail twitching nervously, "When someone —" Her eyes squinted through a brief pause as a painful throb rippled through her body, front to end. "— Just... won't... leave." Her legs had been shaky before from the stress and tension in her body but now they were starting to feel like downright jelly. Laurel stared at the dumb girl, still seething, still angry at all the opportunities her children would have that hers would not. Another painful contraction ripped through her body and she winced, teeth gritted, trying to keep the strong façade for she did not want her nemesis to see her suffer -- she did not want her nemesis to see her feel pain. She wanted to be bullet proof.

Laurel glared at the content mother as another painful stab needled at her womb. "I hate you," she hissed at the girl who seemed to remain ever calm and soft, firm and collected. All the things Laurel wished she was, but simply was not. As she tried to take a step forward while she repeated the words, Laurel was interrupted as her front paws buckled and slid her to the ground, causing the words to end prematurely: "I hate yoooooOW!" as she slipped and fell, front paws landing somewhere near the den's entrance, outstretched in front of her with nose buried on the ground between them. Brows knit into a frown as pain continued to rip through her body and it seemed as if all of her anger dissipated suddenly as her expression turned into worry.

u guys looked like u needed more fire

It was from the entrance’s direction that he came, panting and jaws empty, his chase unsuccessful. No matter, he made his way towards the whelping den to check in on things, deciding that he could figure out a meal later; if all else failed, he could always delve into the river’s population of fish, but that would definitely have to wait. For now, he focused on where he was going, yet paused when the den was within his field of vision. Laurel was not noticed, not at first, but Indra’s tail(less) end was. For a moment, he only stared, watching her to see what she was doing and if he’d have to intervene—but then the ow reached his ears and he was pulled forward, Laurel noticed as the distance between himself and the mouth of the den was closed.

Alexander looked first at Indra as he reached them, but no longer than a second later and his gaze was on Laurel; he glanced into the dimness of the den and noted his wife’s presence, but even she did not hold his stare for very long. “What are you doing? What happened?” he asked, addressing Laurel. The worry that filled her expression, along with the pain that she was currently experiencing, both went unnoticed; he could not see her face from the angle he was at, nor could he see anything that would make him worry for her well-being. All he saw was the back of her head and down, the misfortune of all three women yet to be realised.

oops henlo. cameo, only post

 

You know, Marten couldn't see or hear all that well yet. At least, not in the milk-potato body his soul had been saddled with for the near future. The uproar in Annasiak's den went unnoticed by the tiny boy, his lips fastened to his mother's teat.

Mmmmmm. That was really all that mattered, in this moment--to him.

He gurgled with satisfaction, only to be tossed aside as a blow from @Nunataq's surprisingly powerful foreleg sent him rolling away. Well, hmmmph. That was rude. Squealing, he went to grab the nipple once more but found he was shut out, his sisters blocking his access.

With a loud sigh of protest, sounding almost too old for his age, Marten slumped down, into the warmth of his mother's belly, falling back into the drowsy, dreamy doze only newborns could enjoy.

anna once again bit her tongue and held back the ugly black tendrils of anger that threatened to pull back her lips although it was more for her own children and the life that stirred within laurel than either of the redleaf women that stood before her.  trepidation began to bloom in the raven's chest as the woman continued her tirade.  if it escalated any further, she would call for her mate —

and then laurel was collapsing at the mouth of the den.  recognition stirred within bearclaw's matriarch.  she had just been through this herself and she knew: it's time, she offered gently, her nose coming close to the gravid woman but not within easy biting distance, kindness in her eyes.  

the children beneath her (except for marten, the sweet boy) began to squirm and squeal as annasiak weighed her options.  she could condemn the laboring woman to crawl across the wilderness and back to her own den, she could call for the entire pack to go drag her sorry hind end back to where it came from.  

or she could make room in her own den — the safe space she had created that had shielded her from the aftermath of her sexual assault.  that had hidden her safely from the wrath of the redleaf sisters.  where she and xan had become a unit.

being an alpha was not solely about the respect you commanded or the opinions others held for you.  what set annasiak apart was that she would do what was right, and sometimes that meant putting on your big girl pants and letting things go.

come in, she whispered before disappearing back inside the den, moving her pups to an isolated corner next to the bison skin that valette had brought before calling for @Forrest, as the woman had done an excellent job of guiding anna through her own labor.  she gathered the lavendar bushels in her mouth and arranged them in a spot for laurel — whether she decided to enter or not.

indra was not sure what laurel's intentions were, but as her voice changed from angry to in pain, indra knew she had to do something. xan was registered for only a moment before indra flanked laurel carefully, protective in case the she-wolf saw laurel's brief vulnerability and attempted to exploit it. indra pressed her muzzle carefully to her sister's as she tried to continue and then seemed to slip -- indra was alongside her with worry, her ears cupped back to her skull in alarm.

"laurel --" she pawed at her sister gently, who was now splayed out on the ground in pain. indra was powerless to stop it, to help her, to do anything -- in agitation she stepped over her sister in a guarded stance. she watched as the nameless wolf rose and seemed to beckon towards laurel  -- mistrustfully indra watched her but said nothing, naively hoping against hope that laurel would be okay enough for them to go home. she did not like being here, with them -- and fretted, for she hated the idea of her sister being exposed and easily assailable given her present condition.

Stalker stalks

Ride had seen Indra and her sister, who looked quite swollen, leaving the den they had been camped out at. It seemed sudden for her sister, and then she, to leave so quickly. So, being of the curious mind, Ridge followed shortly thereafter. He didn't get much of what was said, but as he circled, he seen Laurel go down, and Indra hover over her in protection.

Though he was not certain of what was going on, he could tell Indra was upset, and in turn, so was he. He dove threatening close to the male wolf, who he assumed Indra was protecting herself from. His fur might have ruffled from how close Ridge flew by him, but the eagle kept his talons tucked for now. Flying back, he perched on a low branch, screeching both his displeasure and his protectiveness of Indra, and therefore, her sister.

The job was simple: two mothers and two litters to take care of, and then Forrest would be on her way. After Anna's delivery, she figured that it wouldn't be much longer until she was making her way back to the Sunspire. It wasn't surprising, hearing the Alpha's call; Forrest was quick to respond, paws carrying her at a steady pace until she saw the gathering of wolves near the den entrance. 

Anna and Xan were both there, the former hidden within the confines of the whelping den. Seeing as Forrest wasn't aware of the gritty details, she didn't find anything odd in the new mother's invitation; it wasn't uncommon for rearing to be a community effort. If both of the mothers felt comfortable, then Forrest was in no place to object. Please, she cooed to Laurel with a nod of her head, quietly motioning toward the floor of the den, You best lay down now.

A lot happened all at once. Xan arrived seemingly out of nowhere and the pain intensified momentarily. Laurel didn't respond to his dumb questions, because she just didn't have the energy to expend. She just wanted it all to go away but it seemed as if she wouldn't get any of it. It was terrifying when she heard the dumb girl say 'it's time', because Laurel wanted to be back at home and not here, surrounded by her worst enemies -- or, well, at least those that had hurt her the most -- or anything like that. When the girl then invited her into her den Laurel felt even more panicked; she wanted to be somewhere of her own, somewhere safe. The medic arrived soon after, some girl that Laurel didn't even know, and urged her in too. Indra didn't know what to do -- of course she didn't know what to do, even Laurel didn't -- and Laurel shot her a pleading look before another contraction took her and she knew it was best to take the offer, even if she did not want to. "It's okay Indra — it's gonna be okay," said Laurel tiredly and she nosed at her sister's paw before she crawled towards the den.

A snarl ripped through her throat as she turned angry eyes on Xan just before entering the den, warning him away as she crawled into the den. She knew Indra'd take care of the rest, make sure he stayed away. He had done this to her and she did not want him nearby. Not just for what he had done but also because she did not want him to see her in a vulnerable state of being. She was strong, a warrior, and the last she wanted was the man that she wanted -- that didn't want her -- to think that she was anything but the strong amazon warrior woman.

Only a brief grateful glance -- which looked more apologetic than anything else -- was offered to Xan's mate as she entered the den and lay down on the ground as per the medic's instructions. She looked unhelpfully towards the medic and the girl that had already given birth not long ago; either of them had to know what she should do now, surely. She wanted Indra nearby but the space in the den was also limited so for now, Laurel was uncomfortable but content enough to have her sister guard outside, so at least she knew no other intruders would show up.

Feel free to skip me until they’re all popped out!

Everything started to happen so quickly, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He didn’t even fully register the bird as it swept down close to him—he would have snapped his jaws in its direction for sure if he had—nor the way the breeze it created ruffled his fur. His focus lingered on what was happening, having moved at the very last second to allow Forrest to get by him; the snarl that warned him away did little to phase him but, at the last second, he complied and dragged himself away from the immediate vicinity of the den. After a few moments of pacing back and forth, he settled down, facing the direction of the den’s entrance as he waited; he remained alert, listening in for anyone that he deemed unwelcome, but the majority of his attention was held by what was going on inside the whelping den.

last post for me

indra hadn't wanted to leave, but the den was too crowded now - particularly as forrest bustled by her. her ears fell flat to her skull in worry as she was escorted outside -- she cast xan a cutting look only once, acknowledging how displeased she was by the entire situation. laurel would give birth to pups and she wouldn't be there to help her -- somehow, it was all xan's fault.

with a grumble she paced worriedly back and forth across the entrance, occasionally peering in with a fearful expression fretting her face.

i'm fast forward / fading this since various are gone / ppc / etc nad it's high time for the birth. i'll leave it up for another week or so for anyone who wants to pop in another post! :)

Laurel frowned as @Indra was left outside the den. She didn't want to be without her sister now and felt cornered not knowing how close her sister was. She kept an eye on the den's entrance where she occasionally saw a flash of red fur in the form of Indra. Laurel murmured for her sister but in the mess of it all her words fell on deaf ears and the medic told her to focus on finding her breath and steadying, focussing, so that she could get the children out safely. Laurel eventually managed to focus on her children and their health, allowing herself to leave her worries about not having Indra by her side away. This was all Xan's fault, for if he had not treated her like a second rank citizen and had cared for her then she would not have gone here and all would be alright.

After a long and painful labouring Laurel was left with four pups. The first remained still after coming out. Laurel nudged it, licked it and tried to get it to work but before she could fully process that the pup was not normal or healthy the next pup came out. @Lucas was next and she cleaned him, too, put him and the dead pup by her belly so they could curse. Again she nudged the first pup but it was unresponsive still while the second one seemed so alive in contrast. The third came and @Piper was placed by her side too after being cleaned. The last was @Wyatt, a black pup that caused her a short pause as she was reminded of their father but she reminded herself that this was her child and she would make sure he would not be anything like Reek.

When they were all out Laurel nosed the first pup again but no response came. Laurel called for @Xan and Indra, asking them to help move the pups to her own den for she did not want to intrude here any longer. A brief glance was given to Annasiak, one that was difficult to tell -- was it gratitude or simply more envy? -- because she was so tired, before she departed the den with the pups. The dead pup was taken too, and Laurel did not want to depart with it until they were well settled in the den. She asked for it to be placed with her at first but eventually realised that it would never get healthy, no matter how much it was groomed, and allowed Indra to take care of it, bury it somewhere.

It was hard to be grief-struck when she had such beautiful babies by her side however and soon she forgot about the dead baby and allowed herself to rest while the three surviving pups lay by her side to drink their fill and rest with her, if only for a little while.