Broken Boulder may i first just say i'm sorry

@Ulf
forward-dated to the 10th, around 4am

He awoke agitated, before the sun had even made its first appearance. It was a recurring theme as of late— each night dreams tormented him until his eyes opened to darkness, and he paced until daylight. Alarian broke the routine this night, sweeping from his den with burning eyes. He was in a sorry state— underweight, bedraggled, and hollow-eyed from lack of sleep. Somehow, he felt worse.
Restless energy coursed through him despite his exhaustion; it was a feeling he knew well. The Governor wanted nothing more than to run past the borders, leave his home behind and find something to make him feel alive. Or, perhaps, someone to make him feel alive. Something stopped him at the borders, though— a feeling of dread, the knowledge that he could not abandon his family again. He had responsibilities here.
He was trapped here.
Alarian sank to the ground slowly where he stood at the borders, a sigh escaping him. He would find no relief tonight.

He wasn't sure what he was doing awake before sunrise. Perhaps it was the fact that the darkness and the light never seemed very different to the wolfdog. Or maybe it was the thirst that gripped his throat like he had swallowed gravel and sand. Likely the latter. Ulf moved through the territory silently, making sure not to disrupt anyone who was still dozing.

While he was usually good at being silent, it was hard to remain silent when he followed the fresh trail of Alarian. His steps seemed faster and he wasn't concerned if he stepped on a twig or kicked a stone on his way there. Although he slowed his pace once the wolf was in view, his tail waved behind him as he watched for a few seconds.

What was he doing out here alone? Instinctively, he drew close to Alarian with a low whine of greeting vibrating in his throat.

He heard Ulf's approach before he heard his whine, rising and turning without hesitation. Alarian moved quickly towards him, descending on the wolfdog with nudges and licks that hovered somewhere between affection and aggression. He was not rough, but he was not gentle either as he nosed and preened at his friend's fur. No words came to him, and he did not bother searching for them. There was a dark energy behind his actions— one that refused to be tamed. But if Ulf expressed any discomfort, Alarian would immediately, and abruptly, put a few feet of distance between them.

His ears pushed down against his crown at the sudden nosing and preening that greeted him. He did not mind but it had undoubtedly caught the wolfdog off guard some. Ulf allowed his form to lower ever so slightly as he accepted the actions of Alarian.

After a few moments of silence, he spoke gently. "Why no sleep?" He was not purposely intending to disrupt the firm affection he was in the process of receiving but he was curious why the gold-kissed wolf was not dozing off like (he assumed) the rest of them were. Was something wrong or was this part of the wolf's schedule?

Alarian allowed himself to feel comforted, if only momentarily, by Ulf's acceptance of his affections. He was uncertain what drove them, but knew he needed this— needed him, perhaps. But maybe anyone would have sufficed. It wasn't something he could decide now, at any rate.
Nightmares, He explained, voice barely more than a whisper, at the wolfdog's question. Noticing his friend's lowered posture, he ducked his head to plant several delicate kisses under his chin; for one so unfamiliar with the dominance system, submission came naturally to Alarian. Though, the boy had never truly bothered with it until recently. He only did now because he wanted Ulf to know he held ultimate power in their dynamic. It would have been too easy to take advantage of the wolfdog, he thought— and if he could help it, he would never allow it to happen.

Nightmares.

He knew about those, even had plenty himself. Ulf lifted himself back up at the presence of kisses on his chin, feeling a bit more confident now. If allowed, he'd aim to move and brush himself against Alarian's side - offering comfort while also planting the male's scent deeper into his fur. "We take walk. Forget nightmares." His voice was soft, keeping their conversation for their ears alone in case anyone was being nosey.

The wolfdog looked over his shoulder at Alarian, his gaze inviting - beckoning - the wolf to come along.

He closed his eyes briefly as Ulf brushed alongside him, nodding silently in response to his suggestion. A walk hadn't been on the list of things he was dying for, but he'd have followed his friend anywhere just then. Alarian needed no convincing. He trailed behind the wolfdog, at first allowing some distance between them— but he caught up soon enough.
Unbidden, his thoughts had gone to Celia. His next words came hushed, solemn: What do you think happens after you die? The question had nagged him for weeks. It had never been of much consequence— it had never mattered until now. Until suddenly he was worrying, wondering where he would find his mother again. If he ever did.

The question caused a small hum to escape the wolfdog, thinking back to try and remember if he had ever been told the answer. He was positive father had said something after his family incident...

"Helgafjell." Ulf finally answered as he faintly recalled the tales he had been told. "Holy mountain." His words grew soft and tender. "Like here but better, safer." It was the most he could recall at the moment but he hoped, for his friend's sake, that it would be a good enough answer. If the wolfdog was allowed he wanted to gently bump into Alarian's shoulder as they walked together. He wouldn't linger on the contact long though, not wanting to make the wolf feel like he was forced to be affectionate at all times.

Holy mountain. Alarian pondered it for several beats, comforted by his friend's gentle bump against his shoulder. A mountain? He questioned, not entirely skeptical but confused at the choice. What if you fall off?
Admittedly, that was a stupid question— one not entirely serious, either, but maybe a little bit serious. Last he had checked, his mother was terrified of heights. If she had ended up on a mountain somewhere— well, he supposed he'd have to hurry up and die.
What about a cave? He suggested. A... holy cave. A hole-y cave. This was getting ridiculous. Alarian firmly clamped his mouth shut, beginning to feel embarrassed now.

"No falling." He said with a soft shake of his head. Falling off wouldn't be too safe now, would it? "But maybe cave." The wolfdog was not able to say that there wasn't a cave, as he hadn't seen the place — not yet. Hopefully he wouldn't have the answers for some time.

Ulf had half a mind to ask but another half that told him it was perhaps best not to. Maybe this was all relating to the nightmares? Regardless, the wolfdog was content to offer support through kind words rather than going around poking wounds.

Ulf is too precious for this world STOP

He couldn't help but smile, a soft laugh escaping him— not a mean laugh, but maybe a little smitten, which could have possibly been worse. But he couldn't help it; if there was any sure way to earn his affection, it was by letting him be a complete idiot without making him feel like one. Alarian nudged his friend softly, increasing his pace slightly to take the lead— he had a place in mind, now.
Paradise Garden was beautiful even at night, painted in a myriad of vibrant shades illuminated faintly by the moon and stars. The Governor slowed as the scent of the slowly swaying wildflowers surrounded him. Some butterflies flitted around them, though not nearly as many as during the day. He stopped and glanced back to Ulf, eyes a sparkling shade of gold under the darkness; as much as he enjoyed this place, he found himself more concerned with what his friend made of it. He hoped the wolfdog found it as enchanting as he did.

i refuse 2 stop

A smile broke his features as he made sure to keep up with the gold-kissed male. It was easy to follow him wherever as Ulf had thrusted his trust onto the male the day he had arrived. Although his nose twitched to take in all the new scents and his eyes glanced about as the good one tried to see all there was to be seen.

It was the sweet (and occasional bitter) scent of wildflowers that caused his icy eyes to look ahead again. His lips parted softly and eyes watched with wonder as a few winged creatures fluttered around and away. He took a small step forward, curious if more might appear. "Alarian, look." He motioned towards the butterflies making their escape into the night.

How odd and beautiful.

Alarian could only focus on Ulf in that moment; his gaze flitted briefly to the butterflies his friend referred to, but was ultimately drawn back to the wolfdog. Warmth spread through his chest as he received a reaction similar to what he had been hoping for. After several beats he turned, restlessness not forgotten, and lowered himself into a playful bow. Tail swishing, he nipped gently at the air in front of Ulf; an invitation to play among the wildflowers, if his friend felt up to it.

He was not sure why his friend didn't watch the winged creatures longer for they were so lovely in a strange way. Ah, but Ulf didn't fuss over it. There was no need to. His smile from the butterflies was still present when Alarian bowed into a playful position. The air in front of him nipped by the gold-kissed male. It was obvious what he was to do. He mimicked the bowed position. Carefully he would aim to plant a soft nip to Alarian's cheek.

It had been awhile since he had really played with another; he wasn't quite sure what spurred him to do so now. Perhaps the lack of any other outlet for his energy. Alarian responded to Ulf's nip with several of his own, gently trailing down his neck. He made no move to evade the wolfdog. It was best described as lazy play; he found it almost calming— maybe he was doing the whole playing thing wrong, but it felt nice, so he didn't question it. Besides— Ulf seemed too delicate for rough play.

He tilted his head away from Alarian, exposing his neck further to the wolf. While he accepted it for a few good moments he wanted to play back and not roll over so soon. He'd aim to collide shoulders with Alarian and - if extremely lucky or helped by the gold-kissed male - roll him over. It was a shot in the dark but Ulf was willing to take it, just for a bit of fun.

Not to mention he sort of fancied the idea of making Alarian smell more like all the lovely flowers.

The impact was unexpected, but Alarian allowed Ulf to roll him over without a fight. Not that it might have been as much effort as with another wolf; most of the Keils were unusually petite, and Alarian was no exception. He twisted to continue nipping gently at whatever part of his friend he could reach, but otherwise stayed exactly where the wolfdog had put him. His tail swished through the flowers underneath him, stirring up more butterflies around the pair. A moment later, it started to rain lightly.

He felt the nips at his legs even when he had been successful at rolling the Governor over. Carefully he moved back around to face Alarain better, to watch him laying in the wildflowers. It had been such a peaceful scene that was only ruined by the soft fall of rain.

Ulf lowered himself to the earth with the intent of tucking himself against the wolf's side. It's raining. He spoke in a voice that didn't dare reach above the whisper. Did the rain mean that their romp in the flowers was over? Or was it just getting started?

Though only a drizzle for now, the rain was cold; thin-coated as he was, Alarian dreaded what a few minutes under the light sprinkle would do to him. He felt Ulf press against him, and allowed himself to lean into the touch, using the icy rain to excuse it away in his mind. A soft sigh escaped him.
Does it bother you? Alarian murmured, pressing his nose to the base of the wolfdog's ear. He wondered if he should invite him to his den— would he find it strange? For the first time, the Governor considered cultural differences. And wow, that was a big concept, and it kind of terrified him— what if he and Ulf had already misunderstood each other on some level?

The question brought forth a small No, from the wolfdog but the answer was quick to be followed by a question. Bother you? If so, Ulf was prepared to escort the gold-kissed Governor back to wherever he sought shelter. He knew of the dens even if he didn't use them himself - merely out of feeling awkward and a fear of making the others feel invaded by his presence - so perhaps they ought to make their way there.

But only if Alarian wanted.

sorry this is short

No, Suddenly self-conscious, he pulled slightly away from his friend. The feeling had come out of nowhere, but now he was quiet. Alarian didn't move; his gaze drifted slowly over Ulf's features, looking for something there. Anything that would give him some idea of what to do here.

Ulf did not miss the way Alarian pulled away from him instead of closer. It felt...odd? His ears briefly pressed against his crown with the feeling that perhaps he had done something wrong. Maybe he was overthinking it because surely the gold-kissed male wouldn't have taken him to such a lovely place if he didn't want to be with him.

Slowly he rolled onto his back, exposing his belly to the sky, head tilted and craned to keep looking at Alarian. The wolfdog hoped a more timid display would invite him closer again.

He watched Ulf's ears flatten, and immediately regretted breaking the contact. Alarian knew his moodiness was childish at best. He knew the sweet wolfdog didn't deserve to deal with it. But he didn't know how to stop it— how to either fix himself or cut off the friendship developing between them. The latter thought, he didn't even want to entertain.
So he let his feet find the earth again, and crept closer to his friend. This time, he was the one tucking himself against Ulf; tentatively, he leaned to press his muzzle into the wolfdog's chest fur. It was soft, inviting, and if allowed he would nuzzle gently into his chest.

He didn't budge from his position and stayed still with slow breathing as the wolf nuzzled into his chest. His eyes closed as he contently enjoyed the warmth from the other. This was much better than the distance that had previously been there. Even his tail swept through the flowers that were underneath them at the thought.

Alarian happy? The wolfdog asked softly with hopes that he had not messed up things like he thought he had.

His throat tightened at Ulf's words, and he pressed closer. Yes, His voice trembled, the sound slightly muffled by the other male's fur. No one had really asked him that before— and while he knew the wolfdog only meant right now, it meant more to him than he could express. Truth be told, he wasn't happy— not with his life, not in general.
But right now, he was.
Ulf— Alarian began, then paused a few beats before he continued. Why did you come here— to the wilds? You must know it's dangerous... Because he had to question it— he had to, at least once or a dozen times. More likely the latter. Honestly, the wolfdog seemed like a blessing, fallen into his lap at random; too good to be true. He would have been lying if he said it wasn't a little suspicious, from his jaded perspective.