Noctisardor Bypass miles on the run
dreamer trapped by your desire
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Her grief demands isolation from her, so she departs the pack's territory. It's not freedom she's after this time β€” she feels strangely exposed until she sees the mountains. A promise of safety in an odd, irrational way, so she finds her way within the fortress. It's familiar; green eyes flash in her memory, red blood, cold water in her fur. Siarut had made his offer then, but she had declined that first time β€” why?
Perhaps more appropriately, why had she agreed the second time?
The yearling is drawn again to the lake, watching the sunlight ripple off the water's surface with sparkling scarlet eyes as she nears the edge. She's reminded of Lainie, who'd always been enchanted by water, and her throat tightens.
When they'd been pups, their father would sing to them often in his native tongue. Whenever the children fussed, he'd sing, and they'd calm instantly; as they aged, of course, it hadn't worked quite as well. He'd stopped altogether after a time β€” but she'd always requested more. Song soothes her; it's been some time since she's allowed herself the comfort. Demain la route va me prendre, A hesitant beginning, but her voice smooths quickly. Dans les anneaux de ses dΓ©tours, qu'elle se dΓ©cide Γ  me rendre ou qu'elle m'avale pour toujours.
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#2
here have this ominous Post #666

the mountains just off to the south of the maplewood had intrigued him for some time, but he'd never visited. he didn't really have much time on his paws to do traveling--but things were looking up, despite the many setbacks. the wolves that had escaped from the fire were doing well, and alya was healing from her injury sustained in the wetlands. he supposed a short trip away from the maplewood wouldn't hurt things.

hoping that dawn would howl if anything truly urgent came up, adi trotted out of the forest and toward the towering crags, discovering that they formed a sort of verdant valley between them. intrigued and charmed by this hidden gem, the man took a little time to explore, sniffing at scents here and there, perhaps chasing a rabbit or two. he was just about to head back home and gush about this new discovery to whoever would listen when a voice lilting in song caught his ear.

the language was not known to him, but the voice. . . he racked his brain as he headed toward the sound, combing through the many possibilities (how many wolves had he met here, anyway?). his questions were answered as he came across alessia, sitting by the lake.

not wanting to interrupt, he settled on his haunches nearby and listened to her, giving her a nod when--if?--she should notice him at last. it was a pretty song, even if he couldn't understand the words; adi had never been one to turn down the opportunity to enjoy live music. she looked sad, though, and she was a little ways from the glacier. what had happened?
dreamer trapped by your desire
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take post 77 d:
She feels eyes on her after a time, and the song dies in her throat. She only closes her eyes and takes a breath for a moment, gathering herself before she turns her head, scarlet eyes curious. Aditya, quiet and watchful; the knowledge settles her, and she offers a weary smile.
Aditya, She greets, drawing a little nearer reluctantly β€” her paws feel oddly heavy, and the movement doesn't agree with her. Grief is strange, she thinks, trying to focus on the golden man and not the ghost of her sister sitting heavy on her shoulders. The inkstain takes another breath and settles, her usual wit dulled by loss.
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is everything okay?

it was a foolish question. clearly everything was not okay in her world. and while he usually was quick to offer the gentle query, right now he thought it was not what she needed. she seemed a blunt and direct wolf; he would not dance around her grief, in turn. it wouldn't be fair.

"what happened?" aditya asked instead, his voice quiet, gentle. not too prying, but not evasive, either. she didn't have to answer--he wasn't expecting it, at any rate. wolves who wandered from home and sang sad melodies in foreign tongues were often not in a place to share their hearts and soul with those who would ask.

he would know.
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He is gentle even with his probing, and perhaps she should be grateful for it. She recalls their first meeting, marvels briefly at how his own version of the question is soft in the ways she cannot manage, and his past words come back to her. It's none of your concern β€” the words almost slip from her now, but her loneliness tugs at her and she swallows them, bitter as they taste. I've β€” lost something, She tells him.
She looks away from him, suddenly struck by how thoroughly she's failed β€” in every endeavor, in every responsibility self-assigned or otherwise. I've lost many things, She admits, trying to keep her voice from trembling. But it's always β€” difficult, isn't it? Surely he knows loss; no wolf truly lives and escapes it, she thinks. She closes her eyes and takes in a breath, suddenly aware that he is nearly a stranger and she is nothing more than the same to him.
How is your pack? She asks a moment later, expression as close to neutral as she can manage when she turns her gaze to him again.
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aditya heard her out, listening quietly, his eyes fixed firmly--but without sharpness--on her face. he nods at her question, taking a deep inhale and a pause before answering. "it is," he replied, thinking of all he had endured over the past moons. "but it gets easier."

otherwise, he wouldn't be here, right?

"we're piecing ourselves back together," adi responded, with a shrug of his shoulders. he wasn't much in the mood to talk about his own troubles, but he did not want to force her to elaborate on hers, either. it created a sort of uneasy silence that fell between the two of them, yearning to be broken. finally, he sucked in another breath, gaze straying for a moment before locking onto hers once more.

"is there anything i can do?"
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It gets easier, he says, and she wonders if she believes him. She watches his eyes, the way his mouth moves as he speaks, as if she might glean some truth from his features. It truly strikes her now, as it does sometimes, that there are whole worlds within others that she will never see β€” that no one can really see, tethered to the center of their own world and seeing only through the lens, never truly knowing all that exists outside of the self. But really, all she wants to know right now is how to dull the ache in her chest.
She resists the urge to snort at her own irony, instead trying to focus on the conversation β€” Aditya's answer is nothing special, and her heart sinks a little as she watches him shrug. It's easy to perceive the following silence as a sign of her own fault; she's hyper-aware of her lethargy, her dullness, and her presence suddenly feels a burden.
So she's confused by his question, even if her expression gives away little. She pauses, blinks once, suspicion reignited; he is far too kind. And far too cunning, preying on those who so desperately need it β€” I'd appreciate a distraction, She admits, at once feeling slightly silly. But I wouldn't want to keep you from your pack.
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"i can't stay for long," he told her, nodding at the sun in the sky, which was beginning to sink lower with each minute gone by. "but i can be a distraction, for now." adi was good at such things, normally, but these past moons had been so tumultuous. was he still capable of carefree levity, after all that had occurred? perhaps he would bring her into further misery by virtue of his state of mind, rather than give her the relief she sought.

"how is. . .ikkanattuk?" aditya asked, drawing out each syllable with some uncertainty--cosmopolitan as he was, there were always new languages to be learned, and this word was part of one of them. there was no real love between the glacier wolves and the morningsiders--why would there be?--but he hoped that, with time and mutual respect, their relationship would be mended.
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She nods slightly as he speaks, understanding; it's what she'd expected. A soft sigh slips from her automatically when she hears his next words. Fascinating, She starts, frowning. Lonely. Our leader has been scarce and I've met few others in the pack; the northerners are guarded.
The yearling pauses, one ear flicking. She has many more thoughts on it, but she's too wary to share just yet. Instead she regards Aditya quietly, wondering what input he may have as a leader of his own pack. Advice, even β€” though she can't promise, even to herself, that she will take it, willful creature that she is.
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northerners. there was a sense of "us and them" in her words; he hadn't taken her for a northerner when he had first met her, and this statement all but confirmed it. he gave her a small smile. "northerners are withdrawn," adi responded. "a wolf born into ice will remain icy forever. and they have pups, right?" he added, tilting his head in inquiry.

no wonder they were guarded. a new land, with many children. they must have numerous duties they were wrapped up in, especially the leader. still, it was no excuse to make themselves scarce when it came to one of their own, even if she wasn't a northerner by blood. there was always the matter of courtesy and welcome--

which the brute had preached to him, when dawn and he had booted them from the maplewood. he rolled his eyes skyward at the thought--then glanced hurriedly back at myrren, hoping she hadn't noticed and taken it for boredom.
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She laughs slightly at his words, thinking of her own home. What of a wolf born into the water? The inkstain wonders aloud. Spiritlight Falls had been beautiful; she misses her home, sometimes. But it's been too long for her to yearn the way she used to β€” she wonders if that will change again in time.
They do, She confirms, catching the roll of his eyes a moment later. She's not certain what to make of it, so she chooses to ignore it. The only sign she's noticed is a brief, vaguely uncomfortable shift of her stance. I've only met one, before I joined β€” she wandered away while the group was traveling. A faint, wry smile tugs at her lips as she continues. The northerners were... less than impressed with my attempt to return her.
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he contemplated her words for a moment, as they hit incredibly close to his heart. "restless," he answered softly, in a completely different tone than before. something wistful. "always moving." like me. so this girl was made from the same mold?

her anecdote brought levity to the situation once more, and he laughed, eyes creasing to slits in a grin. "i'm not surprised," he remarked. "they seem very fierce. i would have just been grateful someone was able to catch the child. god knows morningside's children don't know how to stay put."

there was some pain in his voice, running underneath the surface of the words, but he tried to swallow it down. a distraction, was what he was today. not the subject of discussion. "so what brings you so far from the glacier?" he asked, gesturing at the verdant valley around them, so different from the permanent ice that marked ikkanattuk's home.
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His demeanor shifts, and already she's intrigued β€” then his words come, soft but striking to her. It's immediately clear to her that they have this in common, and she struggles to imagine his position. What would she feel, tied to the role of leader, when she cannot soothe her itching paws and aching heart long enough even to make a home for herself? But Aditya is older, has seen more β€” perhaps one day she'll be tethered in a similar way, and she'll learn to be content with it.
But it doesn't seem that he is. Yes, She agrees quietly, searching his face for a moment before the subject is finished. The inkstain can't help but laugh softly at his next words, shaking her head slightly. My siblings and I were the same β€” I imagine my own will give me as much hell one day, and I'll deserve it.
To his question, she shrugs and offers a smile. I enjoy traveling. It clears my mind, brings new experiences and perspectives, She pauses, seeming as if she's about to say something more serious but changes her mind at the last second. And if I stay in one place too long, my tail catches on fire; may as well do some sightseeing.
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"i was, too," he said, laughing more. "i can't begrudge them for taking advantage of newfound freedom." even if it brought them into harm's way. what was harm, to a pup? they had yet to learn that the dangers that lurked beneath the surface of an interaction were sometimes more deadly than those more explicit. it was up to the adults to make sure they didn't stumble into any such dangers, implicit or otherwise.

adi nodded along with her sentiments on traveling, feeling exactly the same way. it was sad, to him, that so many wanderers had to compromise for the benefit of safety. the itchy paws never went away, but the terrors of being alone in an unfamiliar land often outweighed the desire to meander aimlessly. safety came in numbers, after all.

"that's why i'm here today," he remarked, glancing around at the walls of the bypass. his eyes met hers again, warm and reluctant. "but i must return to my family, soon--before nightfall, at least. i hope i provided a good distraction for now?" he asked, raising a brow with a smirk.
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Her disappointment can't be denied when Aditya brings up returning to his family, but she hides it well, nodding slightly. His question brings another smile to her features, faint and a touch mischievous. She pauses a moment as if thinking. Adequate, I suppose, She answers teasingly, smile brightening slightly. You'll have to try harder next time.
The yearling's expression sobers a few moments later, and she adds (a bit rushed and perhaps too level), I do appreciate it, There's weight behind her words, but whatever warmth blossoms behind her gaze in that moment is quickly snuffed; she's not made for such expressions, even those so small as simple gratitude.
Good luck to you and your family, Aditya. She offers, but she doesn't move herself. When the man (presumably) turns to leave, she only turns her own gaze back out over the water and settles on the ground, lost in thought.
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"i'll keep that in mind," he teased, grinning. "but really, it's no problem at all." adi dipped his head low, meeting her crimson eyes. "thank you, myrren," the man murmured, his grin fading into a smile, the edges of which were tinged with a little sadness. "luck to you, as well. i'm. . .i'm sorry for your loss. it will get easier, but that doesn't make it easy now."

he began to turn, then looked over his shoulder, quietly searching. "if you need to talk, my pack lives in the maplewood, now," he explained. "take care." with a flick of his tail, aditya turned and trotted off, weaving his way through the bypass. he made it back just before the sun was completely hidden, the sky a vibrant mix of reds and oranges, purples and blues.

and, as he bedded down for the night, he couldn't help but be jealous of the freedom she had--to have itchy paws and be able to act on it.