Blackfeather Woods If I was dying on my knees you would be the one to rescue me
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All Welcome 
this is long overdue sista! Back dated to June 5th

The rain rang down around the canopy of trees above as Siarut came into the small meadow, out in the open her could feel the drizzle upon his thick fur. He took a few deep breaths, letting the world melt away, giving himself a moments reprieve. There family was going to be growing soon, and he felt the weight of it heavy on his shoulders. 

This time to himself was needed, after composing himself Siarut lifted his head to the sky and called out to his younger sister @Takiyok. They were the most similar, and he need the normalcy of his younger sister right now.
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Takiyok had been walking the borders of the territory attempting to become accustomed with her new surroundings. Old habits died hard, and she longed for the comfort of familiarity. 

At the sound of her brother's howl, she froze, turning her head in the direction it had come from. It sounded close. Not wanting to waste any time, she immediately headed towards the call. After a few minutes, she found herself at the opening of a meadow, and her eyes found the the large white form of her older brother, Siarut. 

She quickly closed the distance between them and gave his neck a nuzzle of greeting, drawing in his comforting scent. She drew back a little to look at him before saying, "Brother, how are you?" He had been in charge of her training before he left, which meant they had grown very close. She had missed all of her siblings, but his absence had affected her the most. She was glad he had called for her. They used to meet like this all the time; Sometimes, to train but other times, to just talk, and she had missed that very much.
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Siarut leaned into his sisters greeting, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. With Shivali not speaking to him, and he had a feeling Tahani was less than impressed with him. Tak was his only sibling left. Even though they seemed to hate him he was still constantly worried, especially about Shivali. 

“Tak, sister. How are you?” The brute purposefully ignore his sisters query. He wasn’t sure how to answer, and it was easier not to think of how he was doing. “It has been a long time. I trust you haven’t been slacking.” Siarut qurked a brow at his younger sister. They were very close, and he was very proud of everything she had accomplished. “How was your journey?” He slipped into the common tongue as a way to quiz her. It was something he often did before, conversing in and out of their native language.
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"I'm okay, brother," she said in response to his first question, and true to form, his next question came from her trainer and not her brother. She gave a prideful smile before answering, "Of course not. I still practice every day." She was somewhat of a perfectionist and always made time to go through training routines for fear that she would become soft. 

She didn't miss the change from their native language, and so she responded, "My journey was long but uneventful," in perfect common tongue. She had also been practicing this and looked to him, waiting for his much sought after approval.

 

 
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He smiled at her proudly, “You have been working.” Sia nodded as he spoke, “How are you liking Blackfeather?” He was curious if she was fitting in well, but he had ulterior motives to the general question. 

Although he treaded lightly with his ideas, as there were less than favourable eyes watching him and his siblings. He might call upon his sister and the skills he had taught her.

I’m sorry for the shortness I’m still on my phone
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No worries!


His approval washed over her, and she grinned at him. Sia inquired about how she liked their new pack, and she shrugged. "It's an adjustment. I'm not used to not having things to do." Their sperm donor had always kept her burdened with tasks and objectives and even though it was suffocating at times, it fed her need to feel important. 

"What about you, Sia? How are you settling in?" She was curious to see how her brother was handling life here. He had also had many responsibilities at home, so this must be a shock to him, as well.
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He took a moment to think over his sisters question, choosing his words carefully. Although he was used to speaking his mind, he took to reserving his thoughts much like their father had taught him. Their father had once thought him to be a possible successor, and so had taught him how to act as a leader. This question tested his skills, even if they were only his sisters ears that were listening. 

"I find it different. Not what I was expecting." He figured that might answer Tak's query, although it perhaps wasn't different in a good way. No he would rather be at home, and if returning home had been an option he surely would have taken it. However, that was something that could never happen, and even as he thought of once again being underneath his fathers rule Siarut felt sick. He had experienced a world free of their father, and would never go back. Never.

"What are you doing here little sister? Why did you leave?" Siarut had not meant for their conversation to lead to such a topic, but found he needed more detail as to why she too had left their father's side. The brutes green gaze bored into his sisters, trying to see if their father ahd perhaps hurt her in anyway.
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Takiyok nodded in agreement at her brother's statement. It appeared he needed to get used to being here, as well. It was quite different from their life back home.

His question brought back the memories surrounding her decision to leave, and anger crossed her face. She had tried to put the betrayal and anger out of her mind, but it always seemed to find its way back in. She sat down and looked away before speaking. "After you guys left, I tried to see father's..." the word was said with disdain, "...side, but after a while it just seemed so wrong that he would cast Tomkin out and then injure you when you questioned him about it." She shook her head in disappointment before continuing, "I don't know why I thought he would react differently to my questioning him." She lowered her head in sadness at the memory. "He forced me to the ground in submission and told me to leave if I didn't agree with the way he ran things." This humiliation attached to this memory was almost too much to bear. She had always done everything he asked and in the end, it meant nothing to him. She stood and paced for a minute, trying to calm herself down. Finally she walked back to sit in front of her brother, a little more collected now. 

"I'm so sorry, Sia," she finally said with a shameful expression. "I should have left with you guys, but I was so blinded by my loyalty to that asshole." She realized now that the loyalty was misguided, but it didn't fix the mistakes she made. The love she once felt for their father had now turned into a burning hate she didn't think would ever ebb.
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Siarut listened calmly, not surprised by the reaction from their father, but glad that he had only forced submission rather than physically injuring her. While he would never understand their father, and the decisions he had made Siarut chose to accept such things and move one. He didn't hate their father, for years of admiration had forced his solem acceptance that this was simply who their father was. They were just seeing a side of him they had ignored for to long.

He knew that Tomkin hated their father, and Sia understood his agression seeing as he was now seperated from his family. And he could understand Takiyoks anger as well, she had perhaps fallen for their fathers facade that hardest of them all. 

As she apologized Sia leaned toward her and nosed her cheek. "Don't apologize." He smiled at her, a genuine smile that he saved for only his siblings. "You did what you thought was right. And that's all any of us can do." As he spoke he realized how hyporitical he sounded. Shivali had done what she thought was right, and he felt ashamed for having degraded her choices. Even now that he had thought of it he had no idea how to apologize. He had been spending a lot of time with her, although their interactions had been tense and awkward, coming together out of duty rather than out of sibling love. 

"I'm glad that you are here now." Siarut smiled again as his smile had dropped slightly over the course of his thoughts.
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The relief she felt at the acceptance of her apology was immense. She had felt so much shame and was sure he would hold her choices against her. But, she was letting her own self-deprecation cloud her her judgement. Had she been able to think past the cloud of guilt that followed her everywhere, she wouldn't have been surprised by her brother's forgiveness. Sia probably understand better than anyone. 

"Thank you, brother. I'm glad I'm here, too," she replied softly. Sia's rare smile was one of her favorite sights and she hadn't missed it fall from his face, and even though he was now smiling again, Taki knew something was up. She nudged his cheek before asking, "What's wrong?" a look of concern on her face.
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He looked at the young woman skeptically for a moment, trying to decide if she were grown enough to help him. Of course she was, he just often felt the need to remember her first steps, and her first words. She was still such a child in his eyes, a youngling that should be protected. Although he supposed that with new little ones on the way it was high time that she take on a different role than just his baby sister. 

With a slight nod of his head he sighed heavily. "I think..." It wasn't like him to hesitate, but he had a hard time finding the right words. Standing slowly and turning away from the white woman, "I think I'm turning into father." He had replayed his argument with Shivali over and over again, and he could feel the dread seeping into his bones. He had acted just like their father, and he was disgusted with himself for it.
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Taki watched her brother silently deliberate whether he should confide in her, and she almost rolled her eyes. She didn't, though, because he looked troubled and she wanted to help. 

He started to tell her but got up and turned away from her before continuing. He went on to tell her he thought he was turning into father. Surprise filled her face. "That's ridiculous, Sia," she said exasperatedly. In some ways, yes, they were alike. Her older brother could be rigid in his beliefs much like their father. But there was absolutely no way he was turning into that asshole. Yes, he could be strict, but he also had a compassion for the ones he cared about; a compassion their father had never had. 

Taki got up and walked to sit in front of him again. "Why do you think that?" she asked quietly, her brows furrowing in concern.
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He could only shake his head as she came to sit infront of him once more, he controlled his emotions trying to keep everything in check. If he could get away without telling her the things he had said to Shivali he would, but he didn't know how to make it up to her. Maybe he should have asked Tahani. But Tahani was just like him, to reserved ans awkward with emotion. Tak was the most like him, it was sometimes easier to explain himself to her. 

He turned away from his sister slightly, to embarrased to look at her, or face her. "I've said some terrible things Takiyok. Things that I had no right to say. And I have no way of making it up to he....them." Sia could only imagine how Shivali must be feeling right now, seeing as she wouldn't talk to him. No matter how much time he spent by her side, she rarely spoke.
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She watched as her older brother uncomfortably confided in her. She understood the discomfort. Emotions were hard, especially unpleasant ones. She had spent the last few months sharing her life with some damn unpleasant emotions of her own. 

He told her he had said some unpleasant things, and she silently wondered who he may have said them to. It had to be someone important to him if he was this upset with himself. She didn't want to pry even if she felt she needed more information in order to give him adequate advice. So instead, she decided to just go off what he already offered her. "I bet if you just apologized to them, it would be a good way to start," she answered, her brow still furrowed in concern.
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A good way to start. Sure it would be, but it wasn't enough. He sighed again, for what felt like the millionth time. He gave Takiyok a grimace, he hadn't really tried to apologize and quite frankly he didn't know how to start, or what to say. Besides he had been somewhat unfair, and he knew that it would take time to repair thier relationship. 

Sia wasn't sure what to do, quite frankly he almost felt like leaving. Maybe she didn't need him anymore. Maybe none of them did. All he had done since he got here was put his foot in his mouth. He didn't want to face his lastest mistake, but it involved family which meant he had to stick around and deal with it because he would rather die than give-up his family. 

He knew he needed Tak's help, closing his eyes and dipping his head Siarut took the plunge. "It was Shivali. I may have let my emotions dictate my reaction to her condition." Sia peaked at his little sister, with a deep frown.
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At his admittance, Taki winced a little. It was easy to connect the dots, then. Shivali was pregnant in an unknown place; She could only imagine how he had reacted. "Oh, Sia," she said exasperatedly, "I can't say I'm surprised by your reaction. I assume you got angry with her lapse in judgement?," she added. It really wasn't a good idea to be pregnant without adequate support, and it's not something Taki would ever do, but she had kept that to herself around Shivali. Perhaps it was easier for her to relate to her sister, being a female and all. There was nothing they could do about it now, so scolding their sister for her mistakes was not very helpful.

"Shivali knows you. Just give her some space right now, and when you both have cooled off, apologize to her." Taki knew his anger had come from his need to protect them, and she was sure Shivali did, too. He had clearly not responded in a very constructive way, but his love for his family was evident. It certainly didn't mean he was turning in to their father. "Besides, you'll be the best uncle those pups could ever have. She won't be able to stay mad at you then." With her words, she leaned over nosed his cheek, attempting to comfort him. She hated seeing her big brother so upset.
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Sia listened to his dear younger sister carefully, Takiyok would know what to do better than himself. He could never grasp emotions properly, as was obvious by the advice that he was currently in need of. Although he knew Shivali, and he had some doubts about what Tak was saying. Siarut was sure she would hold a grudge. 

Giving a shallow nod as she nosed him, thinking over her words and thinking about what to do. Perhaps Tahani could help him mend the bridge, seeing as she had been apart of the argument at the end. He couldn't deny that he was grateful that Tomkin hadn't been around, that could have ended poorly. Probably leading to his leaving. 

"Perhaps." Was his only response, of course he would be the best uncle ever. He had to beat Tomkin. He would protect them just as he always tried to protect his siblings. That was IF Shiv would let him anywhere near. "I have to beat our brother, don't I?" He gave Tak a small smile at the joke.
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Let's assume Shiv told Taki about her disagreement with Tomkin at some point between the joining thread and when the pups were born.

Taki hoped Shivali and Sia could fix things. She wanted their family unit to be cohesive, which meant their could be no discord between them. 

Taki completely missed his joke, distracted by the mention of their brother she had yet to see. She perked up at the change in subject. "Speaking of Tomkin, where is he?" She knew he was upset with Shivali, but why had he stayed away for so long? She was starting to get worried.
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Siarut took a moment to think about their brother. He had been on his mind, Siarut was used to the wayward brother wandering off. Especially after some sort of confrontation. Knitting his brows together Siarut tried to think of where he might have gone in this unknown land. 

"I'm not sure." Which worried him, he felt a similar pit land in his stomach similar to the feeling he had when Shivali first left the tundra.
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"Well, I'm getting worried." she said, her brows furrowed in concern. "Has anyone tried to find him?" she knew they had all been busy with the soon-to-arrive new pups and getting settled into a new pack. She felt a little guilty that she personally hadn't tried to find him yet. Surely he would have checked in by now, angry or not. Fear settled in her stomach as she thought of all the things that could have prevented him from returning to them. 

She wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. She was torn between her need to protect their new family members and the need to search for her brother. She looked to Sia then, anxiety obvious in her expression.
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He had to agree with his younger sister. Tomkin has been gone for some time, longer than he should have been. With Shivali so close to giving birth, Sia was hesitant to leave the territory to look for him. He could see the worry in Tak’s eyes, and understood he hesitation.

”Someone should search for him, and make sure he hasn’t got himself into some sort of trouble. But we can’t leave Shivali unattended, out of the four of us you and I are best equipped to handle any trouble.” This left them in quite a pickle. As he thought through the situation he weighed the pros and the cons, a thought process he was trying to impart in Tak. However this was not the best training scenario. Taking the lead he nodded his head slowly coming to a decision.

”You know Tomkin better than anyone, and you scouting skills are impressive.” He wasnt one to give praise so freely, but she deserved it. “You will have he best chance of finding him. Which means you’ll have to go, as one of us must stay with Shivali and Tahani.” He talked through his thought process so she would understand his decision. 

“But with new pups on the way we are going to need all the help we can get. I know you worry for the boy, but you have to wait until the pups are born and have a few days in this world. Once they are a few weeks old, you can go look for him.”

Siarut hoped that Tomkin was safe for the time being. He had picked a poor time for a tantrum, but there was nothing they could do until the pups were old enough. They needed the adults more than Tomkin did.
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Taki listened as her brother and teacher thought out loud to her. He was right, they were the best able to protect their family should anything happen; but didn't their family also include Tomkin? Yes, he had left of his own accord in a fit of anger, but there was no denying that after all this time of being gone, there was a very high chance that something was wrong. It was an impossible dilemma. 

His praise settled in her chest and gave her strength. She didn't care that his approval meant so much to her because she trusted him to never abuse that.

With his decision that she should be the one to go out and find Tomkin, Taki immediately switched into soldier mode, and she gave one swift nod of acceptance. And although she hated the thought of waiting even another hour before going out to search for her littermate, she agreed that she should wait to leave until after Shivali's pups were born. They were the most vulnerable of their family unit and so their safety needed to come first.

"Then it's settled; I'll set out to look for Tomkin once Shivali's pups have been born and have had some time to grow a little." Taki looked at Sia with determination in her eyes and added, "I won't let you down."
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His pride grew as determination set on her face. He was glad she didn’t protest waiting, even when he knew it would be difficult. All the Ateneq siblings were close, but each litter were closer still. Even though Sia felt very paternal toward his younger siblings he knew it must be harder for Tak knowing her litter mate was out and about all by himself. 

“I never doubted it for a second.” Sia smiled his patented big brother smile. He had little doubt that she would find him, “But don’t go missing yourself, finding him is a priority, but we need you in one piece too.” Tak’s tracking and scouting skills were good, but if Tomkin didn’t want to be found Tak could be going on a wild goose chase. He hoped she would return before he started to worry for her.
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Taki grinned back at her older brother and offered a brief nuzzle of reassurance. "I'm not that easy to get rid of," she joked to try to relieve some of the tension she felt from both of them. It was going to be hard to leave, and she knew they would be worried while she was gone, but she was made for this. A little more seriously, she added, "Don't worry too much, brother, I'll be fine." 
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wrap up?

Siarut just shook his head with a small scoff at her joke. He was glad for the fact, and if he could he would rather keep her close. He would worry, as he worried for all his siblings and soon to be nieces and nephews. 

Taking her serious que, he looked her in the eye. “You better be. Or I’ll hunt you down myself.” He kept his serious face for a moment, letting the affect seep in before his smile returned and he winked her. 

They had been speaking for a while now, and Sia was getting impatient to return to Shivali. Even if she didn’t particular want his company, he was persistant and protective. He had to get credit for that. At least one issue seemed to have been dealt with for the time being.
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