Bearclaw Valley and when we burst, start over, oh darling
Private  June 28, 2018, 08:01 PM
Mona
Approved Members

@Tadec welcome too! <3

        she had settled with little reservation into the day-to-day of bearclaw valley. much to her delight, indra joined motherhood with her sister, and mona was delighted. two of her favorite creatures joined in the form of one small boy. she wanted to spend time with laurel and her brood, and hunt, and patrol — there was so much to do. 
        the girl found renewed purpose in fulfilling tasks around the valley, and today was no exception. in her muzzle, the firebird proudly carried a duck she had killed outside the borders; she made a red-legged beeline for indra's den. nathaniel remained a brand in her heart; she had not seen him since departing tindome last. true to form, the girl attempted not to think much of it.
        "@Indra?" the young mayfair murmured, after halting a polite distance away and dropping the duck to the ground. "i brought you uh, lunch." assuming, of course, the russet she-wolf even wanted food — mona was for the moment woefully unaware of how becoming the tap for a clusterfeeding newborn increased one's appetite to fevered levels.
June 29, 2018, 12:20 PM
Indra
Bearclaw Valley
β
bearing life was, ironically, a grim affair. everyone thinks of the joy, the love, the devotion a mother feels when they look upon the life they had made; but what of the pain? how can one look at the tiny thing that caused them so much grief, trouble, and agony, and look upon that face and love, unconditionally?

indra wrestled; the babe that sucked at her breasts had hurt her in ways she could not give breath nor words to. it had come and split her clean in half; it had blackened her womb and darkened her thoughts and leeched the life from its siblings. and yet, it suckled on -- singular and uncaring and selfishly tucked alone into the crook of her hips.

and then after, came the self-loathing, creeping insidiously after her like some choking vine that grew day by day. how could she hate something so innocent, that had not asked to be born? what was wrong with her that she could not look upon her own child with love, but looked to nunataq and marten and laurel's trio with undying devotion. what malign and dark god kept her that could give her such a callous detachment from a being that was, presently, unconditionally reliant on her to survive?

mona was a welcome distraction -- her quiet intrusion an eagerly needed respite for the tormented redleaf. indra had swept to her feet the moment she had heard footsteps outside, and tiredly she squinted into the brightness and saw a pair of autumnally red limbs. wriggling out from the tiny den (and leaving poor merrick alone) indra rose to meet her friend, a heavy depth of gratitude in her sunken gaze. "lunch sounds amazing, thank you.." she gushed, though in truth the redleaf woman had such little appetite these days which showed in the loose manner the skin hung off of her hips and the pallor that crept about her tired eyes.

"he knows that it's impossible to tell a wolf
from a man if
he keeps his chin up
and his teeth clean."
July 01, 2018, 02:11 PM
Mona
Approved Members

        mona attempted not to stare at indra, pushing the kill to her companion with a small red paw and settling some small distance away. and yet her worry was palpable; her friend did not seem well, and nor did the scent of stale and tired nights reassure mona. however, she did not think that bearclaw was equipped with any well-versed in medical knowledge. 
        "y-you know, indra," the girl began, shifting her forefeet against the earth with her usual bevy of nervousness,  "i-i ... i mean, i could watch him for you? sometime. so you could ... get out? go hunting?" with no true idea of what it was to be so tethered to a small being, the mayfair was nevertheless resolute in her offer of help. indra's appearance spoke to her misery, and she had been kind to mona, therefore the little firebird wished to return the affability.
        and yet her ears cupped forward in apprehension; she was not sure how it felt to be so protective over young — or so she assumed — and so mona waited, a bit on edge, for how indra might take such a notion.
July 03, 2018, 06:52 PM
Indra
Bearclaw Valley
β
indra tried a smile in mona's direction, but the assembly of her visage seemed to fall flat - the worry that the red mayfair emanated was inescapable, and she felt a twinge of guilt for being in a sorry enough state to have evinced it. trying her best to smooth her composure, she gently took the offered bird. she thought herself beyond lucky to have bearclaw -- to have all of them -- and it caused a new pang of guilt to crawl into her heart and consume her.

mona was so gracious in her offer, and indra only looked at the ground and mumbled something incomprehensible. she hated herself, but she didn't hate merrick -- how could she explain that she wanted to run away and never leave at the same time? these clashing ideologies thrilled and executed her will at the same time; like a ship left rudderless, indra was sinking.

"that's really kind of you," she fumbled, looking at the dirt as she spoke -- because she couldn't bring herself to meet mona's kind gaze. "i don't think he's ready yet. i don't know. i don't know anything about this." it was a bald exclamation that, upon realizing she had made herself vulnerable, indra quickly supplanted: "i mean.. it'll get better. are you settling into bearclaw okay?"

"he knows that it's impossible to tell a wolf
from a man if
he keeps his chin up
and his teeth clean."
July 06, 2018, 02:08 PM
Mona
Approved Members

        unfurling with relief when indra took the bird, mona nevertheless swept her ruddy auds forward at the sussuration of the other. indra's emotions were tangible; the mayfair tasted them upon each of the new mother's soft tones. and, while the girl was aware she herself knew even less when it came to nurturing the young, mona smiled gently all the same.
        "i think you're doing a wonderful job, indra. please... please tell me if there is anything i can do," the mayfair purled, and then rolled her shoulders with contentment spreading across her features. "i ... i really like it here," the druid-child murmured shyly, and here her countenance adopted an expression of gratitude; it had been indra to suggest the valley, after all.
July 07, 2018, 01:02 PM
Indra
Bearclaw Valley
β
mona's gentle reassurance was enough to briefly stymie indra's daily demons; at least for now they were kept at an arm's length bay, where they snarled and paced visible in her mind's eye, but came no closer. it ate at indra's core that merrick had been the only surviving -- but he was alive now, and mona's offer to help grounded indra in a much-needed way. "thank you,"

happy that the conversation had shifted from her, to mona, indra settled. the flicker of appreciation in mona's gaze was not missed and the russet wolf smiled thinly - mona's presence in bearclaw was not something she took for granted, and she was a boon to the small pack in a way indra was not unaware of. with the two most long-standing wolves laid up by their children, the caches had dwindled - it was a good thing, she surmised, that they had mona and tadec to pick up their slack.

"i'm glad. it's been quiet, i think.. but it's better now. i think i like it this way, with only a few of us. it seems safer, somehow. do you miss tindome? have you met any of the others?"

"he knows that it's impossible to tell a wolf
from a man if
he keeps his chin up
and his teeth clean."