Broken Boulder Thanks for the hospitality
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#1
All Welcome 
Steele felt as though He needed a journey, to find himself or something but he couldn’t really put his paw on it. As the days got longer his thought still lingered and bothered him much more. Today was the day he was going to set out on whatever journey that life may give him. 

Steele padded around to find @Alarian to tell him that he was leaving to find his way in life. That he might be back later to visit but for now needed to seek out something. It was as though he was having some kind of midlife crisis.

Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal. - Nathan Chen

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#2
It was not Alarian that stumbled upon Steele, but Lily, admiring the way the midsummer flowers bloomed around Broken Boulder. The contemplative look on his face took her aback, and she tilted her head as she approached, wondering what was the matter. Words still escaped her, but she made it very clear that she was inquiring, not demanding.

Steele had been a welcome presence at the Sanctuary, though she hadn't had the chance to speak to him much, being wrapped up with her own injuries and setbacks. She hoped he was recovering well from his own crisis; it made her sad to think the bear haunted his nightmares just as the river haunted hers. She stood, tail waving slightly to and fro, waiting for him to speak.
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Steele never saw the slim male he was looking for but rather Lily showed up instead. He wasn’t about to turn her away it wasn’t in his nature to do so. His head dipped and as he brought it back up he spoke, “Hello Lily” his voice was rough, not like usual but like his demons were toying with him. 

Steele could tell that she was fighting her own problems but she wanted to talk to him anyway. He thought it was sweet, something he hasn’t seen before. Though he wondered why she didn’t greet him when she first walked up. It didn’t bother him much, Steele was just curious about it.

Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal. - Nathan Chen

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She wagged her tail in response, a smile of greeting gracing her maw as she dipped her head. Eyes calm, she waited for him to speak. All the while, she tried to pick up little details here and there, clues that might lead her to answers before the words came. . .if the words came. Her greatest strength was speech; she was Samson without his hair, at this point.

She had tried, though. And there had been moments where the words seemed just about to come, but fell flat at the last second, escaping her tongue as a whimper or a groan. Lily didn't know what it would take for her to speak again. Perhaps she never would, and that was a thought that scared her more than anything else in the world. Death would be better than being mute, especially if she was blessed with a particularly long life.
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Steele smiled back at Lily warmly. Her presence seemed to bring about some good thoughts in him. The gray male seemed to notice that she couldn’t talk, but he didn’t say anything just gave her a slight nudge (if allowed). “I hope you are doing well. I seem to be having some... I don’t know second thoughts about a pack.” He admitted this to her with confidence she might be able to help him, even if it seemed she couldn’t say much.

I... I am sorry about your voice Lily. I hope you can get it back” he said genuinely concerned about it. With a lot of work and help he was sure she would be able to. He waited for body language from her to make sure she was following, it was strange to be the only one talking.

Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal. - Nathan Chen

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She cocked her head, confused, then slightly perturbed. For a moment, she viewed his resistance to packs altogether as an affront toward their hospitality, and the tiniest of growls bubbled in her throat--but his next words made her soften, though the attitude change came not without pain. He was being sincere, she thought. . .but why? What had changed his mind?

Lily nodded at his apology, giving him a cheeky smile. She wished more than anyone that her voice would come back, though she was sure the Bracken wolves had enjoyed the respite from her chattering. Alarian, especially. Her ears flattened as she thought of the Governor, and her gaze wandered toward the Broken Boulder. Where was he? She wondered if he knew about Steele's internal conflict.
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Steele understood her body language and why she had done it. Who wouldn’t take offense when someone says they aren’t sure about a pack that you feel is family? His internal war was growing by the second, Lily’s growl seemed to make him feel worse about wanting to leave. All he could do was look at the ground and let his ears drop a bit, it seemed as though he’d never get the answer he was wanting. But then again he didn’t even know what answer it was.

The smile Lily gave was welcome to him as he glanced up at her from his looking at the ground pose. She was the one who brought him here, and maybe that’s why he wished that she could have her voice back, for being so generous. A quality like that is hard to come by anymore and when he found it in Lily it was a shock. He nodded at her, “I understand why you’re probably upset with me for this conflict about a pack. You are the one who brought me here, who opened this place up to me.” He broke the seeming never ending silence. “Generousity is hard to come by these days and you have that trait down pat.” He complimented her. “I guess I could let you know why I feel this way huh?” He asked her.

Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal. - Nathan Chen

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She felt bad, for letting her discontent show. She saw it on his face, and winced, but was glad that her smile was able to alleviate some of the hurt he felt in the moment. Lily ducked her head coyly at his compliment, smiling again. She hadn't ever thought of herself as a generous wolf, but she wouldn't fight him on the description.

Then Steele offered an explanation, and she seized the chance with alacrity, nodding. After Ioa had died, the reasons why each wolf came and went plagued her. If this man left without ever telling her why he chose to do so, she would never be able to live with it. She needed the truth from him, no matter how raw, how hurtful it could be.
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Steele shifted his weight not uncomfortably but in a nervous way. He didn’t know how to explain the war inside his head. He was sure that the person who would know what to say (metaphorically speaking) would be Lily, after all she was the packs psychiatrist? Person who keeps them together, listens to their problems, whatever you want to call her she was good at what she did. 

Steele closed his eyes and took a small deep breath, “it’s like I feel that when the bear attacked Ankyra Sound it was as if a higher power was telling me that I don’t need a pack or if I join a pack hell will be paid to them for having me there. I don’t know if that makes any sense?” It was a lot for him to say in one thought but he did. Steele wasn’t sure if she’d understand, it was a weird feeling he’s had for a while but it’s just been getting to him for a while.

Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal. - Nathan Chen

Need to get ahold of me? Discord (AMA102) or pm me. 
 
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She shook her head in answer. Not to be rude. . .but in illustration of her utter lack of comprehension. A higher power? Was he talking about fate? Lily hadn't the faintest idea how that was connected to anything, least of all his stay at the Sanctuary, but she kept the smile on her face, hoping not to make him feel bad by her emphatic disagreement.

Moving forward, she pressed her muzzle to his shoulder in a comforting gesture, if he'd allow. Steele had been through a lot, and he deserved to be happy--even if that happiness depleted Bracken's ranks by one. He was a good man. He didn't deserve any of what life had thrown at him, these past several moons.

There was a croon in her throat as she pulled away, blinking softly at him. Take care of yourself, her eyes suggested.
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Steele accepted her comforting gesture and gave back a small smile. Though his thoughts were racing he was glad to have Lily to talk to and even comfort him. Friends were nice to have around and he thought he had found a nice one and to leave would be a tragedy but his heart wouldn’t be content until he found out for himself that he could live a life without distruction for a while.

As he thought about where his life might lead him next the grey male glanced at Lily. “If you try hard enough I’m sure you can get that voice back. When I come back I think it’d be wonderful if I heard your voice not even for myself but to know that you got it back and it made you happy.” He said softly with a nod at the end justifying that it wasn’t just for himself but to see her happy too.

Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal. - Nathan Chen

Need to get ahold of me? Discord (AMA102) or pm me. 
 
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A good man, a sweet man. His words were more than she deserved, overly-flattering. Her own words caught in her throat--she closed her eyes and grinned, hoping Steele could feel the strength of sentiment behind the expression. It had been a hard moon for her. This helped.

She wished he didn't have to leave, but you had to find your own way, eventually. Lily knew exactly where he stood. She sighed, rolling her shoulders. She did not do goodbyes easily. If he would just separate from her, not look back. . . She'd see him to the border and then depart, not satisfied--but, at least, with hope in her heart that he would find something better out there. Something better than bears and fear.
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Steele could tell that she was happy with his words and he smiled back at her. It was hard for him knowing he was going to leave such a good friend but it would hurt him more not to try and find himself. Hopefully one day he would find himself back here and hear her voice again. That would be the happiest time of his travels, he thought. 

He would get to the borders and trot off. The brute would take only one look back to see her off then he would be on his way. He would be starting his journey to find himself, find something better maybe.

Never give up. There are always tough times, regardless of what you do in anything in life. Be able to push through those times and maintain your ultimate goal. - Nathan Chen

Need to get ahold of me? Discord (AMA102) or pm me.