Shadewood kick up a stink

Restlessly she circled the woods today, her thoughts far-flung. She found herself obsessing over whether @Redd was preparing to bear young back on the rise. Masquerade ruminated, too, on how she’d nearly killed herself this time last year, looking after @Avicus, @New Snow and their newborns. It still rankled, even after all this time, how little credit or recognition they’d given the Caru…

When she found @Riley, she was seething. Masque surprised both of them by latching onto him and raging tearfully in his arms, airing the grievances that still tormented her to this day. She spent a solid thirty minutes bitching and moaning about “those ingrates,” likely bewildering her mate and emotionally exhausting herself.

But she was still thrumming with frenetic energy when she pushed away from him and stood. Masquerade swiped a forepaw across her own face almost angrily, then gave her whole body a very rough shake. Planting her feet in the moist April loam, her ears drew back as she pinned Riley with her gaze.

I want to spar, she croaked.

Masque woke with malcontent as her bedmate today. Riley listened as she recounted the past injustices of the Rise. Even though they were in the rear mirror the wounds were still fresh. It only served to reinforce his confidence they’d made the right decision departing.

She was imbued with the restlessness of the season. Riley rose as she did, giving her berth as she shook out her silver coat.

A spar. Riley had reservations; she was pregnant and for two, her thigh injury was still healing. Rather than question his mate’s judgment and further add insult to injury, he answered with a low roll of his shoulders. Can’t spar if you can’t catch me.

She bared her teeth at his riposte, muscles tightening as if readying to spring. At the last second, logic prevailed. Masquerade sagged, suddenly turning from Riley and padding several yards away. She then flopped down in the leaf litter to sulk.

She knew she wasn’t being fair to him. She blew out a breath and glanced over at Riley with a sheepish look on her masked face, though Masque said nothing. She just swung her gaze forward, staring off into the distant sprawl of Shadewood.

A change Riley could not name settled over Masque. His joke did not land; she looked furious for two seconds, compelling Riley to seriously consider putting distance between them.

But the look passed, and she pulled away. Still, Masque would not meet his gaze.

Riley came towards her head low and paws slapping loose on the damp ground. He nosed her back gently. What's wrong?

When she heard Riley’s tentative footsteps, Masquerade stiffened, only to relax the instant his nose skimmed along her backbone. She huffed out another sigh, rolling her weight to one side so she could turn her head and look at him.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’m just having all the feelings today, she lamented, only for her own words to click in her head.

Her eyes widened. It wasn’t unusual for her to get in her head on occasion, though these outbursts were very much not normal. Could it be another hormonal change? Her mind flew back to the day when she’d picked up New Snow’s scent, only to metamorphose in the blink of an eye.

Do you think, she said quietly, it could be an early sign…?

Riley paused as he felt Masquerade stiffen; his gaze traveling to hers in silent question.

Things hadn’t been easy as of late. To him, he wondered if the compounded stresses were finally chipping away at both their naturally optimistic composures.

He sighed, placing himself carefully on the ground as she rolled to her side. Maybe. He wanted to reach for her but remembered how she’d tensed under his touch. Maybe it is an early sign. He repeated lamely, realizing with a start he really knew so little about what to expect in pregnancy.

There was no semblance of excitement or hope when Riley replied. Masquerade felt dismay wash through her. Shouldn’t this be a moment of celebration for the pair of them? Had she spoiled it with her mood swings? Her stomach felt suddenly sour.

Do you think we can do this, Riley? she eked out quietly.

Unaware of the dismay he’d instilled in Masque, Riley stood straight and surveyed their surroundings. His hip hurt, but it was slowly healing — and he had yet to lose all hope.

Masque’s question caused him to swing his gaze back around; a sharp lance of concern piercing his heart to see defeat so clearly etched along the deep red of her face. He buffeted her gently with his muzzle. Of course. I never doubted us. with his tail swaying across his hocks, Riley gingerly set down next to her. We’re going to be alright. You’re going to be an amazing mom. Our kids — He breathed in the scent of moss and grass and scintillating open wilderness — are going to grow up knowing nothing but love. It might be hard for a while, but we’re going to make it.

He didn’t doubt them. She should’ve found these words reassuring, yet they only made her feel guilty. Her eyes fixed on a spot on the ground as Riley continued whispering reassurances. Masque’s heart clenched when he mentioned their children knowing nothing but love.

There was a quiet ferocity in the look she gave him then, though it was only the vehemence of total agreement. She nodded. There was a reason they were called maternal instincts, though Masquerade was going to do so much more than simply make sure these puppies survived. She was going to—she already did—treasure them.

I know. You’re right. You’re going to be a great dad too. It’s just… She drew in a breath, released it on a sigh. It’s just hard, having no support outside of each other. And if it’s hard now, what is it going to be like when they’re here? Masque whispered throatily.

It had all been fun and games until they’d both gotten hurt. Those injuries served as a humbling reminder. They needed to recruit another wolf if they hoped to make this work. Just one other would make such an enormous difference, Masquerade was certain of it.

I’ll go next door and try to convince Ines to join forces, she posited aloud. Maybe I could track down Sable too, Masque added, unaware that neither one of them was in the Teekons any longer.

She lifted onto all fours, shaking leaf litter from her pelt as she nudged Riley. Masque’s touch was apologetic. She felt awful for dragging him down with her today, no matter what it implied about her pregnancy.

And if that doesn’t work out, we’ll figure it out from there. It’s like you said: we’re going to be alright. We’re going to make it. As long as it’s you and me—and them—against the world.

Riley saw the worry in Masque’s expression and wished he could will it away. These were very pragmatic concerns; life was hard, they were injured — and alone. He knew they lived on the fang’s edge — it was only a matter of time before they lost their footing.

Still; they were here in this moment, and largely okay. He squeezed her paw, trying to reassure her as she thought out loud about how difficult it would be once they were here. It was true — this was the calm before the storm.

Something in his stomach did a little wiggle to hear her say he’d be a great dad. He never had a father figure — so, he hoped just by being there, he’d learn. And he’d have Masque and her strong maternal instincts to guide him.

Ines and Sable were mentioned. Riley couldn’t recall their faces, but he didn’t worry. They were going to make it. He butted her head and gently echoed Us against the world.

For that was how it had always been, as long as he’d known her. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

After a final parting kiss, Masquerade struck out into the wilderness with determination. Riley’s words of reassurance played on repeat in the back of her mind as she roved the neighboring isle. By the time she realized Ines was nowhere to be found—there wasn’t even a fresh scent trail anywhere—it had lowered to a whisper.

In the following days, she would come up empty-handed no matter how much she plumbed the surrounding wilderness. She couldn’t find Sable. She couldn’t find anyone. Shadewood was paradise precisely because it was remote, though her mate’s words faded into silence as her thoughts inevitably stretched east across the wilds.

Despite everything, she yearned. Maybe it was the isolation, or possibly the hormones. Masque craved companionship and support in a way that began to eclipse everything else. Still she held out hope that they could make Shadewood work—that they could forge their own family—but it was like getting blood from a stone.

By the end of the week, she would admit defeat and confess to Riley that she wanted to return east. They wouldn’t head for the rise but the neighboring ridge—Dragon’s Back Ridge—instead. Masquerade would have to set aside some things, including her pride, but it was time to break out of yet another holding pattern.

After enough time and distance, she had finally figured out what she truly wanted. Now she just needed to reach out and take it, a matter which would require a great deal of humility from someone who now fancied herself an Alpha female. Sacrifices would have to be made. It would be a worthwhile endeavor, though, if they could only strike the compromise she envisioned.