Verdigris Ravine the smoke between our fingers

@Asun :> she's thinking again.

Life rolled on for the shadow of the tribe as a new mother, searching within her heart for a thread of who she wanted to be. Who she was for her child, who she was as a member of the tribe, and who she wanted to be for herself. But her mind drifted back to Kusuma-love, it always did. Those days were sweet, and gentle, rolling on her back and pawing at the she-coywolf with playfulness still in her sunrise eyes. 

The days she knew nothing of heartache or death, an innocent girl who pranced in flower fields with the woman she loved most. It brought hurt to her heart, knowing she wasn't the same woman that had fallen in love with the coywolf, and that if they ever met again, it would be under familiar and foreign circumstances.

Would she even accept the sweet little bundle of joy she curled around and nursed, and fitfully licked clean? Would their promises still hold despite the time that passed? Kusuma had really had a hard time admitting she liked women at all at the time, still a girl at heart and living a very different life. 

And yet all she could do was hold onto those memories. The memories of when life was good and no one had died and everything was okay. 

We make more memories, huh, Harta? she cooed at him. Kusuma teach Harta how to avoid Wolfs and how to be coyote-jackal. Something no one can take away from Harta.

Thank you for getting this up <3 also, I suppose she's technically trespassing, so deal with that as you will!

The past few months have seen Asun learning how to be scared all over again.

Though she had not been particularly loved or even liked on the river-stones of Piedras Negras, there had been at least the reassurance (or something close to it) of a safe bed, and food in your stomach.

But alone, the wilderness could promise you nothing.

In truth, her nerves are frayed, and long stretches of solitude have warped her usual relaxed self. She now flinches at peripheral movement, her brain refusing or unable to discern the difference between a threat and the quotidian.

She pauses to catch her breath, but the scent that fills her nose sees her pupils constrict and her heartbeat stutter.

Kusuma? She thinks, the colors of her world sharpened by disbelief, crashing out into something like hope.

Kusuma lay her head down and was about to attempt to sleep until Zoug came with more food — mayhaps there was some semblance of family or at least good tidings hidden within her soul — but it was quickly sent into dismay by a scent she hadn’t smelt and thought had died. 

But the coyjackal crouched over her infant child, lip in a curl. Not even S’ari had seen him yet and that simply wouldn’t do. Golden eyes peered out of the den’s entrance, putting her between an appeared danger and Harta. White teeth broke the shadows. 

This one is on tribeland, her growl was attempting to be angrier than she was, but the smell was coywolf, so perhaps she could understand her. Some wolfs had no patience for coyote-talk or even cared to hear them. 

But she had to see… in case… her heart fluttered, and the shadowed entrance of the den seemed to grow a head, large ears sticking out awkwardly. 

And she stared.

It couldn't be.

Somewhere in the dark, her tail flopped onto the ground in tentative disbelief. 

Kusuma-love was alive?

The voice she hears is modulated by anger, but still unmistakable -- and there is a certain heartache that comes with it, because while she has seen Kusuma agitated before, it has never been so intense and directed at her.

She hardly parses the words. Her world elides further into unreality.

Those ears! As if the voice hadn't been enough, surely this was the woman who had come into her life and changed it irrevocably, as a planet -- even a minor one -- does to the trajectory of a comet.

Kusuma! The name tears itself out of her throat of it's own accord.

She takes another halting breath, and the arc of revelation strikes her once more: nursing-scent, cloying and nearly mawkish, seeps from the mouth of the cave.

She stared like she heard a ghost, saw a ghostly mirage and the world trick her, but no other would call her by name without knowing it. 

It was her! Her tone shifted, and it was as if a weight the size of bison was lifted right off her heart and into the sky. The shadow crouched out of her den and gave the coywolf a thorough sniff-over. No breaks, no injury, no missing fur, no nothing, and all over the scent she'd never, ever forget. 

And then she couldn't help but come up and nuzzle her head into the woman's fur for a moment. Remembering. Missing. A relief upon a soul so broken she'd felt like the world hated her. Kusuma mother now - is sorry for growling. Did not want to have nose trick Kusuma again.

Coywolf was everywhere, and after some time, they all had become a dull reminder of the world she lost the day she left. But no. 

She'd never forget her scent.

They embrace, but such a fundamental overlap of space still feels dreamlike to her, even as she cradles the smaller woman's head against her shoulder, smoothing her hair back with a shaking hand.

Again? she murmurs into her fur, her voice watery, but she can hardly linger on it. Kusuma, you have a child?

She draws back to search her eyes, knows that the tremulous smile on her face must look ridiculous --

A boy or girl? What is it's name?

-- before gathering her into another hug, this time longer and more studied; she feels the coyjackal's heartbeat slow down and imagines that Kusuma could feel the same thing, the initial shock tapering into a dizzy relief, so powerful that every nerve of her is tricked into experiencing real temperature: a scalding heat giving way to a chill real enough to provoke gooseflesh.

Har-ta, she nodded slowly, nudging her nose to be further into Asun's soft fur. Drown herself in her scent, not wanting it to ever trick her nose again. He is only pup Kusuma have. but she'd not explained why nor who the father was. Or why Asun would never meet Dad. But she supposed that'd come up when it did. 

For now, the girl sighed into her fur. Harta just in here— but he sleep, not do much. as if Asun didn't know how a newborn pup worked. Kusuma was learning that herself, so she found it exciting to finally share how much she'd grown! 

A smile, a lopsided smile that could break hearts. A true smile, the sort of which was opened with a tongue as pink as her child's lolling out in disbelief. 

Eyes that looked soulless now brimmed with life.

A tiny voice.

Does Asun need place to stay?

Her chest expands with an upsurge of many emotions; she fears that there might not be enough room to contain it all.

There is love, of course, for Kusuma and Harta (and how their names went together, hand-in-hand!), but also anger towards the absent father, and perhaps even an ugly pearl of jealousy which sits in her stomach like an accumulation of heavy metals.

It isn't fair, she doesn't know the whole story, nor does she need to -- but despite herself, despite the girding of countless rational reasons, the vexation persists, an unsightly cockroach skittering along the woodwork of her interior.

She prunes these ill humors at the root. What matters most is that Kusuma and Harta are safe.

When the coyjackal sighs into the junction of her neck and shoulder, she cannot suppress a shiver, and pulls back so she can see her smile.

Yes, she responds, in the same reverent whisper. Will Kusuma and Harta have Asun?

Kusuma welcomes Asun with open paw... but Asun is on claimland. Asun will need to introduce self to Zug and Sahari- tribeheads. Asun coywolf - coywolf welcome. Stay! Zug shall come to feed Kusuma soon.

after so long being in the embrace of sandland, she'd forgotten that Asun did not lead that life. Or perhaps knew of the tribeman's insistence on caring for a woman who did not bear an heir to his position. Maybe her experience with men was no more than her brief encounter with Talisman. 

Or maybe, she thought grimly, the stench of manwolf permeated memories, just as hers was. 

Whatever the case, she once again disappeared into the shadows of the den, and beckoned Asun to follow with a whined yip. 

we can do a proper joining thread if you'd like :> or we can keep this one going! Either works for me!

Sounds good, I'll start a separate joining thread soon! This can be archived :)

Claimed land! How had she missed it? 

Zug is a kind man, she squeezes in, still breathless. I will find them. After -- after this --

She tucks her narrow face into her chest, takes a deep breath, and follows the darkwoman into the milk-scented den. The back-and-forth switch of Kusuma's plumed tail inspires yet another host of emotions inside of her. Strange, how mundanity can trigger so many memories.

The space inside is small enough to be warmed by the heat of two bodies. It is the sort of dark that is comforting instead of ominous.

Little Harta has been moved from one womb to another. Asun greets him with a gasp and a smile so large that it hurts.

Nene, she coos, her eyes adjusting to the dimness, but knowing that although she could not just yet see him, she loved him all the same.