Wolf RPG

He felt the restlessness, the frenzy beneath his skin, like an itch he couldn't scratch, he felt the pressure of Tezcacoatl's memories bearing down on the dam he'd built to keep the Amazon at bay; except it was cracking. It was breaking, and the serpent king suspected that he wasn't ...right. Already, it had chased Nochtli away and probably Citali too. He didn't know if what he remembered of Quetzalcoatl was real, but he didn't know if it was false either. Ragnar should have killed him that day, how many ever years ago it'd been now. It would have been a much kinder fate than the one that the Rekkr now suffered. To have come so far only to tear it to ruins by his own teeth, for that was the path he could see his precious Ridge already on. Still, he pushed against Tezcacoatl; of course he did. He was afraid of him, afraid of how he might change, afraid that if he did change that he might lose the one thing that had become the most important thing to him: Tuwawi. For whatever it was worth, he loved her, had for some time now; hadn't realized what it was until his “crush” had ceased to go away. He had promised to take it slow, for her and he had every intention of keeping it, regardless of who or what he was becoming; but also he felt the pressing need to talk to her, because it seemed to him that she was one of the few wolves that made him feel ...normal. Not like he slowly going insane. There was no confusion in her presence and it was that relief he sought now.

She needed to know what was going on with him, that he was on a crash course for destruction if he kept fighting it; but he clung to the lies Ragnar had filled his head with because for months it'd been all he had known. Before Manauia and Thistle Cloud's involvement he had been blissfully unaware that he'd once lived a very different life, under a different name. A birthright felt more like a curse to him; and around the Amazons it seemed to be at it's worst. Understandable, if he took a moment to breathe and reflect: they were triggering the memories that he fought against. All of them, triggers, prying into the deepest depths of his subconcious. Spartacus, Mint, Tuwawi ...he hadn't known them back then and thus they gave him the reprieve: able to be the leader and man he needed to be to see Frostfire Ridge to it's glory. The remembrance was supposed to be slow but as more Amazons joined his ranks, the more rapid they came. Tezcacoatl was an unknown; but the Rekkr understood now that he could not be both. He had to let go of one and it would either be Týrr or Tezcacoatl. This logic was easier to follow when he was of a sound mind, easier to hold onto until he got near an “ghost” of his past.

He fought to keep them here, where they belonged but maybe he should let them go. It was obvious that Tezcacoatl cared for them in some manner, as family even if they did not return the affection. The Rekkr had felt it when Nochtli had walked away; and when the Rekkr had let her go. He'd been spending too much time arguing with the Amazons about what he remembered and what they knew, and thus sought to momentarily distance himself from them. It was Tuwawi that he looked for, though if he came across another he would not have been disappointed. He needed to get to know Mint and Spartacus better, anyhow.