Wolf RPG

 

It was a strange feeling to be sad. The black wolf hadn't been sad in quite some time. She had even, perhaps, forgotten the feeling. Her tail drooped, her ears were flat, and to top it off the girl didn't even bother to keep her coat groomed. Not that the slowly aging female had impressed anyone in the hollow, but personal upkeep and image meant a lot to her. It showed motivation and dedication... Two things she lacked right now. 

Ilya had no intentions of going after Shardul as Luke had after Mordecai was attacked. She knew that this was  the result. Although Mordecai was healing, now a wolf she was closer to was maimed. It wasn't fair, and she knew it, but Luke had been stupid. She did not have the courage, currently, to go after the cougar. The sin done onto her packmates did not anger her as they did Luke, it only broke her spirits. She had seen Mordecai's face; his once handsome face, torn and slowly healing. He lost part of his eyesight and, although he remained the respected and strong alpha Ilya had thought him to be, she knew that he probably lost a lot of dignity. She'd never ask, and therefore would never know, but somehow just felt it. On top of that, the happiest wolf in the world had lashed out on each and every one of his friends and packmates. As he bled out into the white snow, the black girl felt her heart break. And it continued to break still.

Every day she stayed further away from their borders. She hunted inside the territory and kept a close watch on their caches; but rarely did she stray from inside their borders. She was afraid, and she was broken. Part of her almost wanted to leave her beloved home. She'd grown to find herself at home in the Hollow, and it filled a crack in her soul that she didn't know could be fixed. But here she was. Sitting on the northern edge of the territory, staring out into the unclaimed land and thinking. What she needed was reassurance, guidance. Someone to tell her that it'd be okay, and as the packs Gamma she needed to be there for the pack. She knew this. It was not anything she didn't understand or want to do. She wanted nothing more than to be a useful asset to the pack. But times were hard, and the highest ranks of the pack were struggling. Who was she to say that they would be picked off one by one? Who was to say that she wouldn't be killed, and would be left the last man standing, surrounded by her maimed and slaughtered packmates. She did not know. She did not know anything. The only thing that was certain, was that the girl was running out of sane thoughts, and needed a friend, even if just for the day.

Lagon had not formally met the Hollow's Gamma but he'd scented her around though the only true interaction they'd had, as sparse and serious as it'd been, had been when they'd found their cache raided and destroyed. Her scent had once been strong on the borders but he'd noticed that it had begun to fade, though her scent within the claimed territory of the pack suggested that she was still apart of the pack. If there was one thing that Lagon had learned about packs in his short life was that members had a tendency to come and then go...sometimes they returned, and sometimes they did not. Sveinx's older children were advocates for this behavior for they were rarely around when Scatha and him were growing up but he knew of them and knew their names to place to their faces, at the very least (though that was not to claim that he hadn't gotten them confused with one another occasionally).

Despite not really making the conscious decision to seek out the Gamma and properly introduce himself the young dragon found himself following her strongest scent trail regardless. It did not take him long to find her, admittedly, for like him she stood out in stark contrast against the ivory the snow painted on the landscape around them. She came into view, sitting alone, and Lagon assumed staring out at the unclaimed territory that stretched into the vast horizon. For only a brief moment he hesitated wondering if she desired to be alone with her thoughts before he took drew nearer, disregarding that consideration. If she asked him to leave, he would, but until that point he was going to introduce himself — at the very least. “Hey,” Lagon greeted her, breaking the serene silence around them. “You look a little lonely.” Lagon spoke his observation aloud, offering her a smile though he had stopped a few feet from her, allowing her to accept or decline his company.

The women looked up. Her flattened ears perked and her limp tail stiffened. She heard pawsteps behind her, crunching into the snow as they went. She let the scent fill her nose, and was relieved to sense that it was a wolf of the hollow. Which one, she was not sure, but she recognized the familiar scent that each of the Hollow wolves had acquired a specific scent. She didn't look towards the wolf, but when they came and greeted her she felt the need to.

He spoke as if he offered company, and truthfully she did. She forced a smile and shuffled slightly to the side, offering the place where she had sat for him. There was less snow, as she had already compacted it down, and so it would've been slightly more comfortable. While she did not recognize his scent, she knew his face. He'd been on patrols with her before. The two hadn't ever exchanged words other than perhaps orders on hunts or border parties, and she knew nothing about him. This was Ancalagon, a male accepted to the pack somewhat recently. He was a training guardian, she knew, and had spent time at the borders more often than she had recently.

Ilya waited for him to join her. She was unsure of what to say. She was falling into the character of the wolf she was when she arrived at the hollow. She was antisocial and socially unstable. Before she arrived at Mordecai and Harlyn's borders she hadn't spoken to other wolves in months. Perhaps that was where she would head now, she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted. 

She cleared her throat a little, addressing his comment. "A bit," she murmured. 

When Lagon greeted her, she turned her head to look at him though she offered no words. Her smile seemed a bit forced upon her face and for a moment he hesitated despite that she'd made the effort of shuffling to the side to make room for him despite that it was truly unnecessary. Lagon got the impression that she wasn't feeling his company but felt some sort of social obligation to accept it. “If you don't want my company it's fine, just say so. I don't wish want to impose.” Lagon told her gently. He wasn't the kind of wolf to force his company on others, especially if it wasn't wanted and whether his intuition was right or not that was sort of the vibe she was giving off. Or rather, this was how the dragon chose to interpret it. There was something that seemed off, though he couldn't be sure given that he truly didn't know her all that well. He didn't know her personally well enough to be able to claim with confidence that she seemed dejected. Perhaps this was how she was all the time.

She responded to his observation, admitting that she was a bit, yet still Lagon hung back simply because despite her being a little bit lonely he wasn't able to judge with confidence that she didn't mind his presence, but he made no moves of leaving either, instead staring at her with his brow furrowed partially in confusion and partially in muted concern.

The male made no moves. She sat and stared forward. Perhaps he'd seen how she looked and decided she was not worth the agitation, but he made no movements away. He then asked if he was imposing. Was he? Perhaps. But Ilya wasn't sure she minded. She let out a low whimper, not on purpose, more of a reaction and a filler for her lack of words. It called out her struggles and informed him that she didn't mind his company. She wanted it and invited it, practically begged for it.

She knew it was odd and a little straight forward. She was only certain of his name and skills she knew nothing of him, and likewise him to her she assumed. She turned her head, her ears flattening. Her bright eyes locked into his gaze and she held them, now certain that she did wish for a little bit of company. Even if all he did was sit and listen to her ramble. Even if neither of them spoke. Perhaps that's all she needed.

Before the male could even move however, if he chose to come sit, she blurt out a question. He could wait to repsond if he wanted. He really needn't even answer, for no matter what he said she would say why she asked the question. Ilya was a wreck. She was beginning to spurt out her problems to w male she didn't even know. But that was who she was. Her lack of social skills early on in life left her with no boundaries, and even at the state she was in she craved a social connection with anyone for any amount of time. So she let it out. A question she felt was eating at her soul. 

"What do you do when you make mistakes?"

Lagon's ears slicked back to rest atop his crown at half mast when she let out a low whimper, telling him the things that perhaps she could not bring herself to say aloud to him. Feeling guilty for choosing to not immediately take the vacated seat at her side he moved towards her, settling upon his haunches easily, offering her a bump of his shoulder against hers — a gesture meant to comfort and support. They didn't have to know one another well enough to support and offer comfort, did they? Lagon didn't think so. They were pack mates and thus they were each others support system, like how a backbone supported their bodies whether they knew one another well or not. At some point that ceased to matter. They were a family, regardless. 

The question she blurted out to him was vague, though it inspired his curiosity. For the sake of not wanting to pry into anything she wasn't willing to share he kept it from making itself known. Her question had a sort of ominous feel to it, and he couldn't help but wonder, exactly, what kind of mistakes she was making mention of. Were they current or previous? Would they affect Lost Creek Hollow in any shape or form? Would it jeopardize the pack? As an aspiring guardian these were the questions that seemed the highest priority to him because, to be frank, the safety of the pack was always his main concern; especially so with Harlyn being so very pregnant and the young ones they would have soon. It meant that he was more protective of the borders and wolves within and not just as a would-be guardian but also as a Pupsitter prospect. He had nothing but absolute respect for Mordecai and Harlyn and he doubted it would take long for him to have affection for their babes when they were born.

Then again, Lagon tended to grow attached at an alarmingly rapid rate. He was silent for some time as he considered her question, his contemplation written all over his face. “Well,” He inhaled deeply and left it out in a soft exhale. “I guess that depends on the mistake. Whether it's big or small. No one likes making mistakes but I've learned over my short span of life that the best thing to do is be honest about and admit it. Admitting it allows you to forgive yourself for it and puts things in motion towards being able to not only make it right but also to learn from it. It's hard to admit it, usually out of self shame but my father always told me it's always best to be honest about things.” That was the purpose of mistakes, Sveinx had always told him growing up, to take from them and learn so that they were not repeated.

Lagon could not claim that he was in any way qualified to be giving advice, especially because he was one a little over a year old but he was going to try because that was the kind of creature he was. He wanted to help even if he really didn't know how; though he felt some surprise that his previous words he could easily hear Sveinx in them and spent a very short amount of time marveling that, for once in his life, he managed to sound a little bit like his father.

The male sat, and Ilya felt more at ease. His light gesture of comfort meant a lot, even though it was small. It was enough to calm her slightly. Her frantic thoughts were put (somewhat) at ease. She noticed that at her question he seemed a little hesitant, perhaps to ask more. To be quite honest, she'd probably spill anything anyway. She had a lack of a filter sometimes and, once again, no boundaries. But she could tell that it wasn't him being nosey, it was more or less about the safety of the pack, perhaps. Mistakes affected everyone, and pack members had no room for messing up, and Ilya knew this. 

"It does not concern me or my mistakes," she chuckled lightly, hoping to ease the males thoughts. The mistakes she thought of were in regards to Luke, and to Mordecai. And to the female whom she'd fought not too long ago. But they still were driving her mad. She listened as he then spoke to her, answering her question. Maybe she was shocked to have heard him speak so honestly, and so well, but she did not speak. Honesty was the best policy, Ilya always thought. It was nice to have him actually respond, and her thoughts were once again eased every so slightly. She looked at him a moment before returning her gaze forward.

"What if they are not yours?" she asked, her gaze falling once again on him. "What if you've made no mistakes, but others have? And these mistakes put you and others at risk?" She felt her voice crack as her fears flooded through her again. She broke the eye contact, taring her head away and staring forward into the unclaimed land. She was tense, once again, and was unable to explain exactly what she was feeling. She only choked out the word she felt was the best explanation for her worries.

She spoke that it did not concern her or her mistakes ...in which left Lagon feeling confused. The way she'd blurted out and the manner in which she'd spoken had made Lagon think that she was speaking of herself; but she assured him that that wasn't the case. Another set of questions followed, redundant to what she'd assured him, though confirming what he'd suspected: that they were speaking of someone else. Lagon's brow furrowed and he hesitated visibly, for a moment processing staring out at the land that seemed to stretch on endlessly before them. He didn't know who she was speaking of. Nor did Lagon know what a Shardul was. It sounded like a name...and putting it in the context of her questions he would have bet his left eye that it was a name. Yet, it wasn't a name he knew and so he did not think that Shardul (whomever it was) resided in the Hollow.

“Who has put themselves and others in danger? Do you mean the Hollow as a pack? And who is Shardul?” Because Lagon was horribly lost in this conversation and he wouldn't be able to offer any sort of advice (good or not) if he didn't understand what was going on — or what had happened to inspire this conversation in the first place.

 

Ilya turned her head to the male, cocking her head in confusion. "The cougar," she replied simply. Did he not know? How could he not know? He was a training guardian, as far as she was concerned the name was all over the valley. She looked forward again. "The one who committed such a sin upon Mordecai and Luke... The one who could do the same to any of us..." She grew silent again, saving the Hallow from hearing her rambling worries, most of which made no sense once she spoke them out loud. 

Her worries eventually got the better of her and she spoke again. This time, however, was perhaps a more answerable question- who knows though. It was, however, maybe a bit confusing when the topic of mistakes dropped so quickly. Perhaps the woman forgot she had asked, perhaps she was too focused on her thoughts to remember she asked. "Do you think the cougar will come back?" She asked. "I don't know if Luke went to it or it went to him but if he's angry he'll come back, I'm sure if it. Our ranks are wounded and I don't even feel safe in our own territory," her fur fluffed up a bit along her shoulders, anxiety getting the better of her. 

"Am I the only one worried about this?" He eyes turned to him in a desperate attempt to find some sort of solid ground to stand on. The black wolfess felt like she was losing footing on herself and somehow couldn't decide what was real or what she was making up in her fears. Maybe she was the only one afraid, and maybe that was okay. But for now, she still wasn't. 

Lagon had been told about a cougar (perhaps in passing Victoria can't remember) of course but he hadn't asked specifics. As far as Lagon had been aware up until this point he didn't even know they had names like wolves did. “I never asked Mordecai how he'd gotten injured. It felt rude and insensitive to pry in something I never considered my business,” Lagon responded simply, feeling a little miffed that she spoke as if this should have been his common knowledge. Perhaps in some ways he could be looked down upon for not asking especially since she seemed concerned that the attack on Mordecai — and Luke whom according to her had been attacked by the same cougar boiled down to endangering the pack. As a guardian (or wanna be one) this was concerning but it also felt a little bit like she was saying that Mordecai and Luke had made the mistake(s) and that they would be endangering Lost Creek Hollow. “Given your previous questions of mistakes it almost sounds like you're blaming them.” The circumstances in which their injuries were unknown to Lagon and without these missing puzzle pieces and left to the devices of his personal interpretation ...it almost sounded as if she were speaking treason.

Lagon did not know either Mordecai or Luke all that well (though he knew the former better than he knew the latter whom he hadn't even officially met yet) but he would stand behind his belief that neither of the Hollow's male leaders would intentionally endanger Lost Creek Hollow. “I haven't scented any cougar along the borders or in the territory and I'm pretty vigilant on them,” He wasn't boasting merely speaking the truth. “I understand you're scared but the only thing we can do is patrol the borders...or track him down which from what you've told me isn't a good idea.” Lagon paused for a moment. “I don't mean to be disrespectful,” For the dragon was aware she was a higher rank than him but he saw no reason not to speak freely. “but you could aid in patrols. Perhaps it would help you feel safer to take action on the defense front?” It was a suggestion and not spoke unkindly. 

“It's worrisome and I'm not going to undermine that but you can't spend all your time obsessing over it, either, y'know? There are things you can do without provoking Shardul further, we can maybe prepare and keep our eyes out but there's other things that need our attention too. Caches need to be filled, and Harlyn looks like she's about to pop any day now.” Puppies were a good thing; the bringing of new life something that the Hollow could celebrate. A light in their darkening path. Hope, even. Lagon was excited about them, at any rate. "The pups are going to need the pack's attention." Since, in Lagon's experience, the whole pack helped out in raising them, the deed not left for the parents to bear alone.

G

Ilya sat still, listening. He was right. She felt slightly offended the male would accuse her of blaming the two males, but she did word it so. She simply interrupted quickly. "Not at all. i only say that because of how he acted, but I don't believe he'd seek it out in his own. It was just a thought," she said, shaking her head. Beyond that it was just a thought. She'd expressed to Mordecai how strangely the male had been acting, and soon after he had disappeared. When he returned he was wounded badly. She shook the thought and returned to the carcass shed found recently, the she-wolf shed fought off. "I was out and about a month ago and came across a dead wolf with the same scent on her. We are just a pack of the valley, and he's come for two of our ranks..." She stared forward again, thought overwhelming her once again. "He didn't even eat the loner, just maimed her. She looked horrid,"

She explained what she meant and then fell silent again, letting the wolf talk. He spoke wisely for someone younger than her (as she believed herself quite wise). The woman took no offense. To her, rank was only a way to show the amount of effort put into the pack. She turned her gaze to him and watched intently, ears flicking once or twice as he mentioned points that she supposed were spot on. And a border patrol? He had offered the idea of her going on one. She was not keen on the idea, but shrugged. Perhaps it was a good idea, after all it was her job. But the male mentioned something quite interesting. Harlan, pregnant? She perked her ears. 

"Harlyn is expecting?" She asked, tail thumping gentle against the ground. Much as the male hadn't known about Shardul, she hadn't known anything about this. It was her fault, perhaps, but she didn't know Harlyn all that well and had only seen Mordecai about his injuries and when Luke was found at the borders. She looked to feet, feeling rather stupid about her ideas of abandoning the pack over petty fear. The pups were far more important than she was, in her own eyes. Perhaps she should've focused on that. 

"You are right... Lagon," she murmured, giving his shoulder a gentle nose of thanks and a friendly affection. The woman was bipolar, in a sense, but perhaps was just easily swayed. Her fears were easily ebbed by the smallest of reassurances, but maybe everyone's could be. She gave him a gentle smile. "I apologize that we had to meet this way. I'd like to think I'm more on top of things," it was a  lie, but the black wolf wasn't aware of such. She looked up at the male curiously, watching his expressions, before staring forward again, different thoughts jumbled in her mind now.  

Ilya was quick to interrupt and set his interception to rest by assuring him that he was wrong upon it. Lagon was relieved. He didn't want to have to deal with treason ...nor did he particularly look forward to being the snitch that told — because he would have had to speak up. “Maybe you should ask him. Maybe he will tell you why it happened.” Lagon suggested, which would clear up any further confusion and worries she might have had without making him (Lagon) feel like she was accusing the alpha and beta males of intentionally (possibly) bringing harm to the Hollow. As he'd told Ilya: he hadn't scented any other predators among their borders nor within their territory, and while it was something to be mildly concerned about until it became a palpable threat to the Hollow (i.e. by being seen/scented on the borders) then he wasn't going to obsess over it. “Even if he would attack us it would be one against the pack. His chances wouldn't be as great as they've been.” Eventually this Shardul's luck would run out.

“Yeah, she is,” Lagon spoke slowly, unable to curb his surprise that she didn't know that their alpha female was heavily pregnant. Especially because it was extremely hard to miss her rounded sides that gave her away. “And when they're born Mordecai and her are going to need our help more than ever.” Pups were a lot of work ...for the parents and the pack. Lagon was looking forward to this, hoping that, so long as Mordecai and Harlyn let him, he could work to prove that he could handle being a caregiver (specifically a pupsitter). Lagon wanted to just be a contributing part of the pack, an asset to their ranks but he also wanted to cater to where his specialties laid. “It's alright,” Lagon spoke gently, turning his mahogany red gaze away from her to take in the horizon, thoughtfully. “I think it's natural to doubt when you feel scared but you also have to trust in our leaders and your pack mates. That trust is what makes a pack strong.” It was the glue that held them all together, at the end of the day; at least that was how Lagon saw it all, anyway.

The conversation she'd had with Mordecai resurfaced in her head. He hadn't given her specific details, but he spoke vaguely of how he felt. Perhaps she should've asked more, but maybe it was a bit rude so early on. She then thought to Luke, the look in his eyes numbing her senses. She didn't wish to ask him, she felt that the light had gone from him; he didn't look like he wanted to be asked anything. She shrugged. "The day we found him, something was wrong," she murmured. "I don't believe he wants to talk," she replied. If he did, it was to closer friends. She'd seen Luke perhaps as a distant older brother. He was fun to play with and was a great teacher, but they didn't hang out as often as she knew he and the alpha pair to. She was the lower-upper rank, and missed the cut-off for the friendship(socially as well, perhaps). Maybe Harlyn and Mordecai knew, but she wouldn't dare intrude upon what he shared with them; it wasn't told to her for a reason. 

It could be said that she wasn't better now, talking over it to the packs Delta. It wasn't a gossip circle by any means, but she definitely voiced quite a few of her opinions. 

Perhaps though, she would ask regardless. No matter how well she believed she thought things through, her emotions always got the better of her. Perhaps the fear would surface again, and she would end up asking Luke, so she shrugged. "Maybe I should," was all she then said, bright blue eyes blinking as she thought. 

Lagon confirmed her question, and her tail wagged. She heard the suspicion in his voice but didn't say anything about it. It was fair for him to be surprised. She was after all the alphess, and maybe she should've paid closer attention. Truth be told, although she wasn't necessarily close to anyone in the pack, Harlyn was perhaps the most distant. She'd met the she-wolf once, and hadn't had much contact with her otherwise. She honestly rarely saw her around the territory; but she was under the impression their dens we far apart. Besides, it wasn't like any of the wolves around the Hollow were very gossipy- most were rather serious and straight to the point. Occasionally Ilya felt like she was the only one, especially now that Luke had lost his sunshine.

"You're right," she replied quietly, her tail swishing as she sat. Her next response came as a vague 'mm', almost as if she was in a church and simply reiterating whatever he said with a fond agreement. She was still shocked the wolf had so much wisdom, but perhaps this was how all wolves were; she'd just lost the opportunity being alone for so long. "You speak well," she murmured, eyes glancing to her paws.

Lagon was quiet when she spoke that she considered that Luke didn't want to talk about it...or perhaps he wasn't in a state to talk. It was true that Lagon didn't know the extent of the beta male's injuries. All he could do was offer her suggestions but what she decided to do with them was entirely up to her. She could ask him or she could ignore Lagon's suggest and let herself to her own assumptions. He couldn't tell her what was the right answer: that was something she'd have to decide for herself. If she would have admitted that she thought he was wise Lagon would have been quick to humble himself. He wasn't sure if he was wise. He was young, and he understood the world still had much to teach him. He wasn't Sveinx ...but he was his son; flesh and blood and perhaps despite that Lagon could not see it he was perhaps siphoned some of his father's own sapience. Perhaps something, somewhere, had rubbed off.

As it was her compliment had him smiling, though it was torn between a humbled pride and embarrassment. He ducked his head, ears slicking to rest at half mast atop his head as he contemplated her words. “Thank you,” Lagon responded sheepishly. “If you think I speak well you should hear my father.” It had always seemed to Lagon that Sveinx had all the answers, all the right things to say, but this was, as he'd long since deduced, likely because Sveinx was an elder and had been through whatever problem Lagon had found himself having at least once in his life.

Ilya chuckled when the male ducked his head, her tail thumped as she felt her insides warm a bit. Perhaps she was overthinking everything, and although she was well aware it was true, she still wasn't sure how to stop herself from doing. Maybe a bit of distraction was all that she needed... Either way, she felt better right now. When Lagon mentioned his father, she smiled with a vague sense of understanding. She did not know her father, and she had never really been fond of males. Of course she understood that not all were like the ones she'd encountered, but deep down she always had a strange sense of fear welled up within her. But she was was well aware of a feeling of pride as well as nostalgia. Her memories were not always pleasant, but she was making new ones and finding them far more kind to her thoughts. 

So the black woman gave him a gentle nudge on the shoulder. "Perhaps you'd be willing to tell me about him, sometime?" she offered, genuinely curious. Ilya smiled and glanced into the unclaimed territory. "But some other time, I think I have a few things to tend to, that I perhaps have neglected," she grinned to him, a sort of silly expression she wore, and dipped her head in a goodbye to him. The black wolfess stood, and began off into their claimed territory, off to find Mordecai.