excuse this post I haven't been able to make a decent one lately *flails, blames exhaustion and work and stress and everything else but self*
With spring around the corner, and without the knowledge of the amount of wolves coming through these areas, Thuringwethil's excitement began to increase. The sprouts for the new season, the extra prey to be around, they would flourish. They had their own hunting grounds free of the wolves to their south and she knew nothing about the pack to the north west of their territory just yet, so their upcoming season would be plentiful for them.
Thuringwethil already made her morning rounds, checking the borders and caches nearby, before she deviates toward the middle. The scent of
@Gyda catches her attention and with a quick swish of her tail, falling neutral to her companion in her search.
It did not take Thuringwethil long to find Gyda whom was where she could usually be found: patrolling their borders, though her patrol had been slow going, distracted as she was by the thoughts she'd been cooking up all morning. What had her mind occupied was something she'd been contemplating for quite some time, even before she'd left Odinn's Cove. Already, she had begun her search though the dark dream of Ragnar had stolen any joy the idea had brought the over eager shield-maiden and all of her focus upon her new duties and the founding of Sleeping Dragon had left her with little else to concentrate upon. Yet, now, things had settled down and she was nearing her physical maturity. While it was something she knew it was also a difference she could feel. It was close, perhaps in another month or so.
Thus far, she had not come across any suitable candidates and instinctively, though it was hardly anything personal against the two males within Sleeping Dragon, she shied away from the idea of choosing a candidate within her own borders. She wasn't looking to make her candidate a mate, in fact, far from it. She wanted a donor and it would be easier and much, much less messy (also without all the hurt feelings) that she really didn't want that sort of attachment forming, the duty, obligatory dad figure. While she had still seen him as such Ragnar had been a great father figure but she didn't need a male, or a mate. Gyda prided herself very much on her independence; and to her choosing a stranger was the better option.
Deciding that she couldn't wait to share her news with Heda she turned, temporarily abandoning her patrol to hunt down the ebony warrior only to stop in her tracks when she appeared as if summoned from the shadows of the Dragon itself. Gyda's face lit up for a moment before her expression turned sly as she approached her co-queen, striving to make the contact of brushing her muzzle against Thruin's own. “Thurin,” The Scandinavian woman nearly purred in her accented voice. “I was just coming to look for you.” Gyda admitted after she drew back, fixing the other woman in her icy caribbean stare.
Once Thuringwethil caught on to the scent, it doesn’t take long to track her down. The scent leads to the borders and when she sees the other woman, she slows to a stop to let the viking close the distance between them. She closes her slate eyes when she’s close enough, nose to nose, and she gently strokes the length of her stay. Her shoulders square up but she keeps her posture loose, never quite able to shed the crown.
Gyda speaks first and she rests her gaze upon her features, soft and enlightened that forms a smile to her. Her name shortened she reserves only for Gyda. “I know,” she tells her, a smirk and playful depth behind her eyes. There has been little time Thuringwethil’s been able to look at her friend as something more than her queen but she knew it would be limited going into such an endeavor together.
“You know?” Gyda inquired with a slight rise to her brow, her gaze holding a questioning that was nothing short of playful. Perhaps it was the thought of children, of small babes that made her feel so sly and playful in the moment, or perhaps it was the fact that she was nearing her first season. She couldn't claim that she knew much about it. Nerian had bumbled her way through it when Gyda had finally questioned her on the children and how she knew they were truly Ragnar's; for previously know one had seen to educate her on it given the very likely fact that she'd simply been too young and would not have understood it anyway. It had been a stuttered, obviously awkward and embarrassed explanation; and though Gyda could have easily asked Helga or one of the other women of Odinn's Coves she'd had much more pressing concerns on her mind. She knew the mechanics of it all, and had been with Nerian through her entire pregnancy, had even been present during the babes' birth so she knew how that worked.
“Am I that easy to read?” Gyda teased her Heda with a small smirk before she inhaled deeply and let it out. As much fun as she was having with playing coy and teasing what she had to share was, in and of itself, important; and not just for Gyda. The children she would bear would herald the Dragon's legacy and it was just as important to the pack as it was the Viking Queen herself. “I am going to be with child,” Gyda almost pranced in her excitement, not bothering to correct her (somewhat) broken English. "Isn't it exciting?" She breathed her inquiry with hushed glee.
Thuringwethil shrugs, quirks a brow, and her smirk remains on her features. She'd simply been looking for the woman herself and, coming upon her when she has the same intentions, makes her question their alignment. Her tail swishes a few times above her spine but she manages to stay comfortable even with her stiffened posture and even if with her head squared above her shoulders, she's as relaxed as she can manage in the presence of another.
Heda never quite leaves her.
It doesn't take long for Gyda to go into her purpose and she immediately forgets why she was searching for her companion in the first place. The smirk slowly dies down, turning her face black, hardened into stone.
"What?" she asks, as if she didn't hear the words fall from her lips.
Gyda's face remains and her own brows furrow, trying to piece together the information. Sleeping Dragon isn't that old, their members were barely infants in their home. What they've contributed to Drageda isn't enough to warrant fathering for their queen. The pack itself barely has its roots in the ground and to add something so unstable? To throw off their balance? Thuringwethil stiffens, bites back the angered words of her native tongue, before she lets slip out her decision:
"No."
Gyda watches the play of emotions, or rather lack thereof across Thuringwethil's face as she tittered about her plan to have children with Heda. The ebony woman's smirk dissolved into a hardened look, that had Gyda's own glee siphoning from her face as she watched. At first it appeared as if Thuringwethil was in shock, but Gyda suspected that it wasn't shock. After all, Gyda had never made efforts to hide her desire to have children when she came of the age: as she was rapidly nearing it now; thus the sheild-maiden did not deign to repeat it, instead allowing Heda to work through it. Thuringwethil's no only proved to ignite a fire of irritation within Gyda. Thuringwethil had given her an answer as if Gyda had been asking; which she had decidedly not been. She had not expected Thuringwethil to necessarily share in her excitement but the re-enforced “no” was definitely not what Gyda'd expected. The viking queen was not Heda's subordinate; and she did not need the ebony woman's permission.
Gyda's weight shifted and her head lifted as she leveled a stare at the other woman. “You are mistaken,” The Scandinavian valkyrie spoke, her words clipped. “I was not asking for your permission.” In case that, in any way, wasn't clear. Thuringwethil could not ...and would not stop her from what she wanted more than anything in the world. Gyda wasn't sure when her desires had changed but they had, and she was not afraid to take what she wanted, this she had proven before.
you get my 100th post! :D
Hearing Gyda snap back and defy her command causes the fur around her neck to prickle. She narrows her eyes and hardens her stare and she even takes one careful, calculated step forward. Thuringwethil already towers the smaller woman and her posture stiffens, easily shifting into Heda when the mask is often dropped around her companion. The dark leader bites back a growl but it doesn't stop her from scrutinizing the areas Gyda has left her guard down.
"We barely have our feet on the ground here and you want to put children into the mix?" she begins, words laced with venom that scalds even her own mouth. "We are not stable enough to support them and it puts our hard work into jeopardy." Barely two moons into their settlement and puppies would put a strain on them. Their hunts hadn't been successful lately. They've barely established their presence in the Teekon and she knows if something unexpected threatens them at their doorstep, they wouldn't be as ready as she's used to. They've yet to all come together as one but their progress is their every day.
Thuringwethil feels her heart beat wildly behind her breast, pumping quick enough it might erupt and break through her ribcage. Her time with Gyda had always been gentle and kind and easy but their reign together has put more stress on the commander than she expected. Their culture and background, while similar, might not mesh as well as she'd originally hoped.
"Was I wrong to assume you'd put our wolves ahead of your own selfish want?" This time, she offers a low rumble in her chest. It's quiet, inaudible, but Heda feels it vibrating beneath her skin. The thought of how Gyda might have children doesn't cross her mind because she isn't going to let this happen.
Thuringwethil put forth reasons as to why she thought that Gyda should not, but where Thuringwethil saw a potential disaster Gyda saw prosperity. She had faith in the wolves of Sleeping Dragon: they were young, yes, but they were also strong. Thuringwethil displayed her dominance before Gyda, but the shield-maiden did not relent, her hackles bristling in her annoyance. They were equals in this venture and she would not bow to her Heda no matter how Gyda might love her. “I understand your fear Thuringwethil,” Gyda made to soothe, calm even when Heda questioned her ability to lead subtly. It stung. Why was it so selfish to want children? Something that was as natural to her as breathing? To want to create a legacy for Sleeping Dragon that might help to ensure their future as opposed to destroy it? “Do not mistake my ability to lead simply because I want children, it's a natural thing to want,” Gyda's tone was clipped slightly, her composure wavering slightly under her dearest friend's doubt.
They were actually arguing. It was the first time that the viking queen could recall it ever happening; then again it was the first time that Heda and the Viking Queen had ever ruled together. Two strong women at the helm of a pack ...somehow this was destined to happen, it was only a matter of time. “Children will be good for Sleeping Dragon, Thurin. They will help to rally those who are more distant than the others,” Gyda spoke, wanting Thuringethil to see what she could see. “And if they put the Dragon in jeopardy then I will kill them myself.” Gyda spoke low, a slight glistening or potential tears at the brim of her eyelids as she contemplated the severity of the words she had spoken. Kill her own children. Could she do it? She did not know; she did not expect them to be anything but good for Sleeping Dragon.
“It will not be messy. I will choose a suitable male from outside Sleeping Dragon, a loner perhaps. I am not looking for a husband,” As a matter of fact the only male she'd ever been interested in romantic or otherwise was dead and gone and had to be some sort of sin because he had been her adopted father. “I want no strings attached. It should not be too hard to find a male willing to participate.” Gyda imagined her conditions might be something of a dream: a free ride without the hassle of ever having to worry about her coming back and demanding he be active in the resulting children's lives. As far as Gyda was concerned she sought a male only for one reason: the children he could give her. Aside from that, her romantic interests were — though she had yet to admit it, stubborn as she is — much more local.
Fear?
It takes a reasonable amount of effort not to scoff at the assumption. From day one, the pillars of leading had been hammered into her head. The things she can and can't do as commander, even if there had been no promise she'd survive her conclave. She'd been given the same treatment nonetheless. Commanders before her have made the mistakes that the recent have learned from. It keeps them and their loved ones killed and Gyda's only advantage is she has Thuringwethil. Their culture varies vastly in their leadership and the natural desire had died long ago and the only thing there had been room for is Heda.
"You are so confident in Sleeping Dragon but you choose to only have half their blood of our home," she tells her. They were not ready for children if Gyda chosen some random loner, one they likely wouldn't be able to trust. They didn't even hold an alliance with anyone to use a male in exchange and their own males were limited to their supply. "They will be born Drageda blood or I will kill them myself."
Thuringwethil's following words made Gyda's pupils narrow in their pools of icy caribbean hued blue as her gaze held steadfast to Heda's face. “And what if they want what I refuse to give them? I do not need a father figure for my children, neither do I wish to take any of them as a mate,” It was not anything personal to the few males Sleeping Dragon was home to; rather it was simply because of her own personal preferences. Yet Gyda could not erase the idea that they would eventually be nothing short of curious of the children they had sired and want to fill the role that she did not not need them for. “I am picky,” She snapped, sure that Thuringwethil would have known that by now. While it was true — only the male capable of meeting her standards would do — there were other reasons as to why she refuted as if they were sharing a debate. Essentially, that was exactly what they were doing: debating. Haggling with one another.
Gyda bristled when Thuringwethil made her threat. Offering to kill her own children for the greater good of Sleeping Dragon, if it were to come to it, was a sacrifice ….but one that Gyda felt she could make. Ragnar had never been gentle with his children, never coddled them and Odinn's Cove had opened Gyda's eyes to the barbarism of Ragnar's culture; of her culture. Sometimes children were killed and sometimes they died young of natural causes on their own — this was a fact of life and one that Gyda accepted. Could she allow Thuringwethil to kill her children? Could she stand idly by? Gyda did not know. “Who do you have in mind?” Because Gyda once prided herself on her diplomatic abilities she begrudgingly inquired as to whom Thuringwethil was thinking; to at the very least hear Heda out.
Gyda starts to ask questions and Thuringwethil offers a slight shake of her head. These things can’t be addressed now, even if they need to be. They had time, for now, and if they didn’t meet the compromise Heda was offering, then it won’t come to fruition. Between now and whenever Gyda can conceive is all the time they had and she couldn’t help but worry their time is limited. Drageda’s first set of children will not be born out of their blood, will not take some loner’s genes to pass along. Their first litter of puppies will be born and bred in their home.
Thuringwethil threat hangs, though, and even if she can’t answer the questions her queen has for her, doesn’t mean she won’t stand by it. Gyda’s litter hangs in the balance of what they find in time and she won’t stop short of killing them if she’s disobeyed. Her home has always come first, above her friendships, and this one wouldn’t be treated any differently.
“There are no answers to these in this moment, Gyda, when you’ve sprung this information on me. I’ve given you my conditions,” she says, but hesitates, watching for a flicker of emotion on her face; she knows the woman doesn’t like the restriction but for a pack that is theirs, they both need to agree or neither of them will get what they want. Biting back the rest of her words, Thuringwethil shifts her weight and makes her move to leave. Leaving the woman with something to think about, the dark leader has to take some time to figure out the next step in their plan.
Gyda was not happy with the conditions Thuringwethil gave her, feeling like Thuringwethil was (and perhaps she was) backing her into a corner. Gyda could have fought her way out but she did not wish to lose what was important to her. First and most important, being what ever “relationship” she had with Thuringwethil as complicated as it felt to the shield-maiden most days; second, was her role in leadership. As greedy as that sounded she had worked with Thuringwethil to create Sleeping Dragon and she would not see her work diminished, her role forgotten as another stepped to her place. No. She was Viking Queen and no one would take it from her. She was just as much a ruler as Thuringwethil. In this, Gyda understood how Heda felt. She supposed her spring of wanting children upon Thuringwethil was just as unfair as Thuringwethil's harsh conditions. Perhaps it was that she felt as if Heda did not trust her enough to make a good decision for the pack stung the very most but Gyda knew she had to relent.
They had both given to each other in this moment, and for a moment the viking queen struggled to remind herself of that. She had gotten Thuringwethil to cave enough to accepting children and for now, Gyda realized, that was all she could ask for. “That is fair,” Gyda spoke softly, unsure if Thuringwethil even heard her as Heda turned to leave. Gyda did not stop her departure, instead watching after Thuringwethil with a swell of sorrow beneath her breast. In time, though, Gyda remained (perhaps foolishly?) optimistic that Thuringwethil would come around.