He was still troubled, but his anger was no longer akin to rolling thunder clouds, flashing with lightning, and more like the grey sky of an overcast day. He felt encumbered by burden as he jogged through the melting snow in search of his alpha female. His chest was tight, and his mind brimmed with questions and uncertainty, and it showed in the weary creases of his face and in the twitch of his tail.
He had been following her trail, but so unsettled was the alpha male did he accidentally wander off her trail and find himself aimless, by the shore of one of the ridge's lakes. Here, he peered into the fracturing ice as one might look upon a crystal ball.
She had not sought him out, but backtracked to one of the lakes in which to quench her thirst. Taggarik stood there – his large form cutting quite the sight against the proud ridge, though he seemed lost in thought. She did not announce her presence the way she normally would. Instead, her slender form loped up to sidle alongside him, her frosted eyes drifting over his wounds with concern written upon her features. “Have you tended to these?” Her voice was a gentle lilt – far softer than she had spoken to him for weeks now, and as if to reiterate what she meant, her muzzle dipped forward, grazing above the male’s injuries.
He had sought her, but it was her who found him, staring into warming water for insight that was not there. She touched his shoulder, inquiring about his injuries, and his snout turned to tenderly brush her ear. Though it seemed the black wolf was out of the doghouse for his first mistake upon the ridge, his paws still pricked with uncertainty out of the perceived mistakes that followed.
"I've cleaned them," he answered softly. He had no knowledge of the medicinal properties of herbs, and was not inclined to seek out someone who did. In this way he was old-fashioned, preferring the action of the tongue and time to heal wounds that could be. His eyes found her own wounds, and his mouth shifted uncomfortably at the sight of them. They were, more than his own, a reminder of his poor decisions.
He laid his head across her shoulders, drawing comfort and support from her presence. "I've made many mistakes since bringing you all to this ridge," said Taggarik, solemn.
His touch was familiar – whether upon her ear or her cheek, she found it always held a certain warmth, and she wondered if his affections for the other females of their pack stemmed this far. She withheld from leaning in to the gentle embrace, if only she worried to put weight upon his injuries.
One ear flicked in quiet acknowledgement to his answer, her eyes drifting over the wounds momentarily before gazing back to him. She held her own gashes upon her face – but Terich-mir had looked to them as best he could, and they were confident she would hold little scarring from the ordeal.
Taggarik spoke then – of mistakes – almost as if regret laced its way to his heart. He laid his head down across her shoulders, and she stilled, unable to look back to him. “I can only think of one mistake,” she murmured, thinking back to the lone she-wolf he had brought home that one day. It felt almost like a lifetime ago now, after dealing with the wolves of Thunder Dome.. and he was now more than willing to bury the memory and move onward.
He knew the mistake he referred to, and he swallowed at the memory. How foolish he had been to trespass into such questionable territory. Never again would he stray.
"I should not have allowed them to settle beside us. They could have been run out while their numbers were fewer, before they established and before it came to blood. It could have been worse, but my packmates, you, are injured because of me, and were forced to endure the stress leading up to it." He was not finished, and he inhaled deeply. "I've also allowed a yearling to become beta, and she shied away from the fight. She did not lead. She did not support." This sounded like one thing, but to him it meant more. The black wolf questioned the way he ran his pack and was bothered by the realization that things could have been so much worse in the wake of these decisions.
He held his tongue against further words, giving his alpha female a chance to weigh in on the topics presented while he waded through the storm in his mind.
She listened to him, feeling a touch of guilt that she had likely helped emerge these feelings by being so hard on him before – he now had seen her point of view in the aftermath and how it could have been settled far more easily had they chased the pack away when they had been but a few – but now, she also seen his point of view, when the pack had come back torn and injured.
“We have no way of knowing the outcome would have been any different,” she murmured then, giving her muzzle a shake as she continued to study him softly. “Perhaps there had been that many since the beginning.. we do not truly know.” They had not investigated closely enough – or she hadn’t.
As for Jhala.. Yes, Capri had been quite disappointed in the dark she-wolf, who seemed to hold warrior traditions above all else, even when interviewing their newcomers. Even Vuk and Diane, who had seemed more gentle and meek in nature had fought at the side of their pack mates. Had aided their pack when needed.
“As for Jhala.. Perhaps it is time to plant the bug in another’s head that they should challenge her for her position – if she fights for it, then perhaps she is not as docile and young as she has shown us.”
Taggarik inhaled deeply, pulling his chin from Capriccio's back to sit beside her, his snout and gaze cast to the snow in front of his paws. He ruminated at length after she finished speaking, considering the options and pondering how best to move forward. "Should we be asking our wolves to vie for their position like this?" It was a largely a traditional way of doing things, and it was sort of an art that seemed lost on the wolves in his ranks, except for the couple who embraced it. "I know that many packs no longer work this way." He had never been a part of a pack that dictated their ranks, whose leaders alone chose and upheld them, but he was aware of them.
He lifted his head, his gray eyes reaching to meet the periwinkle gaze of his alpha female. The pack may have started as his, but he quickly, and now more thoroughly than ever, looked to her as an equal. Her opinion on this mattered, what she wanted for herself and the pack, their future, was important.
Her muzzle tipped forward to brush his cheek -- something so heart rendering when his own eyes cast despondently to the snow in front of his paws. He was a regal leader, but he did not look so now -- now he remained defeated emotionally, and she ached to see him rise once more.
His question was an interesting one -- and yet she gave a gentle shake of her muzzle. "Not all of our members converse the way we do," she began slowly, her thoughts specifically drifting to the Beta, and even Vuk. The tawny wolf understood nothing but body posture -- and for them to tell others of their rank would be los upon him -- even Vuk herself spoke very little. "Unless you do not feel that barrier will deter our wolves." Our. Theirs. Together. Tipping her muzzle forward with more encouragement, Capri made to lean her slender form closer to his, to feel the warmth that emanated from his very being.
This was what she had longed for -- and this was why it had been so hard to see him come home with the strange lone wolf. Only now could she fully admit that t herself.
She made a good point, and he was immediately grateful for her level headedness. In his time of doubt when his thoughts, despite his best efforts, may not be so clear, she brought reason to the table. He did not believe that the white she-wolf would be unable to adapt, but certainly the beta male would greatly struggle to understand the new, imposed pecking order. It would be unfair to him, one of their first and most loyal members. So long as he was with them, Taggarik would not change the system.
She leaned closer to him, and he stole the moment to nibble the soft ruff of her cheek before passing his tongue gently across the bridge of her nose.
Still, not all of his troubles had been spoken. "Two of our members did not come with us when he went to ensure our neighbors had left." Stated the black wolf, as he moved his nose to brush it through the fur of her neck. The white she wolf was among them, but she had attended the battle, and so he was not as displeased with her though he questioned her absence nonetheless. But the other was their newest male. "I am not sure how I feel about this. How I wish to handle it."
That was a half lie. The tension of that conflict had left him hot headed to a degree, and his immediate desire was to run the male out. There was another among then, whose presence had been scarce at best, that Taggarik also wanted to dismiss from his ranks. It was his need to ensure the pack was strong.
She crooned gently at his touch – encouraging the male gently as she attempted to settle the flutter of her nerves. Never had another touched her so delicately – spare Terich-mir, and her best friend had not ignited the fire she felt in that very moment.
He would speak further on what ailed him – Taggarik’s heart was heavy with thoughts, it would seem, and the grey and ebony she-wolf would pull back slightly, her eyes drifting over him as he spoke. Vuk and Novak had both been missing – but Vuk had been at the incident with the previous Thunder Dome wolves. “Yet Vuk has proved herself more worthy in battle over Jhala, who did nothing – is that to be punished?” She paused, her muzzle tipping upward to nudge him gingerly upon his cheek. “Call the pack to a meeting – we can remind them that if they fail to pull their weight in the ranks then they are no longer useful to us.”
Feel free to pp / wrap this up however you deem fit! <3
He did not want to punish the white female, it was towards their newer male that his ire ran. Perhaps it was not wholly fair, but the male had two things going against him: his newness, and his gender. Taggarik was always more demanding of the males than the females, and likewise, he expected new recruits to be proving themselves worthwhile, not coasting by and failing to attend important pack functions.
"I should," he agreed. That would be fair at least, it would set a baseline from which he could act, and give himself a chance to simmer in the wake of the conflict. The black wolf inhaled deeply, contentment and certainty finally befalling him now this worries had been aired, and by the comfort of his alpha female's support.
"Thank you," he murmured, his gray eyes warm with his appreciation and fondness for Capriccio.
She did not respond with words – instead, her muzzle tipped up, nudging along the strong jawline of the male, feeling his body ease from the stress of his previous thoughts. She lingered in the embrace for only a few more moments – her previous anger at his antics with the lone female now long dissipated from her mind.
With one last nudge of her nose to his cheek, the she-wolf pulled away then, her pale eyes studying him gently. “Get some rest, Tagg,” she noted quietly, giving him a soft smile. She would have curled up with him, but she was still hesitant to such open affections, and instead felt it best to seek out Terich-mir. With one final glance, the she-wolf swept away, her paws carrying her to her best friend, and allowing the Alpha Male to consider her words and his thoughts.