Wolf RPG

It was time.  Things with the other packs were at a veritable standstill for the moment and Dante knew he needed to have words with Lasher.  If he did not, the feelings may fester, and he would not allow that wedge between them without an attempt to rectify first.

He sought the alpha near his home, assuming he would be near his children.  Slowly he meandered, hoping he would simply run into him without need to summon.

lasher knew that dante was angered, and that he was not alone in his hatred of what the druid had done. and so he refused to allow himself the luxury of avoidance -- he patrolled inland, as aria had kept herself busy upon the borders. and so, when he caught sight of the familiar gunmetal grey pelt, lasher steeled himself and fell into silent step alongside dante.

it was time.

Lasher soon walked beside him, seemingly without reluctance, and Dante stepped in silence for a few moments, putting together what exactly it was he wanted to say.  It wasn't easy, starting a conversation now.  What was done was done.  And Lasher's actions had been justified by fortune; nothing had happened to the alpha while he was out.

At length he did speak, and decided to cut straight to the chase.  There was a frown creasing his features as he stopped, turning to face Lasher head on.  "It was unnecessary," he said, quietly.  "Don't try to defend it otherwise."  It was a shit excuse in Dante's eyes, the idea that one more wolf would have made a difference to the defense of Donnelaith.  If it had been anyone else, he was convinced Lasher would have required a pair at least.  "I'll not be your excuse, a backup to stand in should your recklessness cost you.  If that's what you need of me, then find someone else."  He wouldn't let himself be used as an excuse for Lasher to throw his life away just because a 'capable leader' was there to take over if something happened.  Donnelaith needed him.  Dante had given him the leadership for a reason.  And the rage that rested in him was in large part because he felt that gift had been carelessly tossed aside.

lasher did not speak when dante had finished his piece; he heard the anger in the man's voice, and knew that what the beta said was not all the words of his heart. it could not be, for taltos heard the undercurrent lurking in the silent places of each syllable. he met the silver man's eyes as he gathered his own thoughts. "i would not force the leadership upon you, dante. i will not do to you what has been done before." his reference was clear; he simply did not wish to speak the devil's name, for fear that it would engender more hurt in his heart.

"but i ask you this, dante, and know that i ask only because i care deeply for your opinion: do you think me capable of leading donnelaith? if you do not, i shall gladly step down, and may the pack elect a more fitting leader than myself. i shall not be the cause of our demise."

sorrow burned in his heart, but lasher was silent then.

His promise was too late - he had already risked doing so.  "Tell me then.  What would have happened if they had not been reasonable?  If they had taken you?" So easy.  He had passed right along their grounds.  "I would have been left to pick up the pieces.  And Donnelaith would not have survived it." He was sure of this.  Donnelaith did not need him; it needed Lasher.  The man's family was the heart.  To lose it would be a fatal blow.

"Until now.  But leaders do not have the luxury of martyrdom.  Not without consequences."  He spoke levelly, telling his own truth.  "What you think is right personally is not always what is best." He had allowed the worries of his pack to be dismissed as if they meant nothing.  His life wasn't only his now - it also belonged to those he served.  And he should have given more thought to what might befall them should their fears be realized.

taltos listened, but his ears wilted, his countenance falling. until now. the words reverberated in his head, and a sort of grievous anger grasped the man, mingled with sorrow at having failed donnelaith. had he failed, in his mind, the pack would have been safe. "you are not alone, dante," he murmured. "had i been captured, had i been slain, the duties would not have been upon your head alone.

"do you think me a martyr?" whispered taltos in a wounded voice, seeking the stern gaze of his longtime friend. "do you think that what i did i sought to do for my own personal glory? have i fallen so low in your eyes, dante?" his heart fluttered brokenly. "if you no longer think me capable, then tell me truthfully. tell me with straight words."

He still did not see.  Aria was young, and Blue Willow would have been in mourning.  Perhaps that would not prevent them from shouldering some, but he did not think he was wrong in assuming it would be he who filled the role.  After all, who else would step up as Alpha male in his stead?  "I think you let emotion overpower reason.  You did not wish to endanger a packmate in the journey - so instead you endangered yourself."  Perhaps he did not go so far as martyrdom, but it was close enough for the Beta to feel some ire.  Sacrifice wasn't always about glory. 

They were at a crossroads - Dante could feel it.  And he did not like that still his opinion carried that much weight with Lasher.  Was he so eager to give up the burden?  Had he even wanted it in the first place?  Or had he simply accepted it because his now-beta had requested, had obviously no longer wished to hold it himself.  If that were the case, then no.  A good leader needed to want it, and it was this that Dante had seen as his own biggest failing.  "I don't think I can answer that," he said, quiet.  "Either you think you are the best for this pack or not.  But if you believe yourself to be the one this pack needs, then you should act like it.  Your life is no less important than ours.  If anything, it is more."

It wasn't straight.  He knew this.  But his anger was becoming spent and he could feel the exhaustion that came with revealing that which one has held onto.  If it were to come to war, however, he would not see his friend try to fight alone.  They were a pack for a reason and he needed to at least try to get him to acknowledge that fact.

the man answered, though not in the way that lasher wished, and his words only served to drive the druid lower in his own mind. the leaders whom he had chosen were capable of leading through whatever had occurred -- perhaps dante had not seen it. blue willow had steeled herself against an outburst when she came upon their wounded son! and aria had been kidnapped by pirates, and returned with the tale! but he could not fault dante for not knowing these things.

they had reached an impasse, and while lasher appreciated the words of his beta, he could not help but feel that he had shaken donnelaith with his actions. self-doubt wormed its way into the shadow of his heart and lodged itself there, and though he would continue at their helm, lasher did not believe he could trust himself again.

"thank you, dante." the silver man's words had been warranted; perhaps he had indeed been acting upon some lash of emotion, though he did not agree that he should have taken another.

If his words made an impression, Dante couldn't tell, but he knew it was done now.  He had said his piece and now it was on Taltos to determine what he proceeded on in the future.  Still, the negative reaction his suggestion had recieved left a sour taste that would not yet disappear, and he knew he would likely keep his own counsel until the affairs with the coast quieted.

Quietly he nodded in acquiescence, then turned to go.  He had no more to say and wasn't sure how to continue, though he would stop if Lasher wished to speak his own piece.  Were they good?  He wasn't sure.  His ire had quieted, but there was now a general weariness.  He wasn't sure he believed Lasher's insistence that he would not do what had been done previously.  It would take time and calm, perhaps, for his doubts to fade.

they were quiet, gazing upon one another. dante was unimpressed it seemed, and lasher was resolute in his apparent wrongness. however the pair shared the same sort of weariness -- in time, the druid nodded at his greyscale companion and bid him a silent farewall

waiting only to see that dante move away, lasher himself turned and headed not into the woodland, but the outermost borders of donnelaith, to commune with himself and with those spirits who followed.