Peregrine roamed the night, wide awake despite the late hour. His brain simply wouldn't shut down tonight. He hadn't talked to Hawkeye about his concerns yet; he would sit her down soon but he wanted to organize his thoughts first. He kept batting the possibilities back and forth but he had yet to arrive at a decision. Of course, he wouldn't make it alone but he wanted to be sure of what he planned to say.
By now, he'd come to believe that it would likely be best if he stepped down, perhaps into the Gamma rank, to let Hawkeye rule by herself. He could still be a husband, father and Gamekeeper. Of course, he would miss being the Alpha male—and one half of a wildly attractive Alpha pair, in his opinion—but he honestly believed there just wasn't room on the throne for both of them. Hawkeye was too independent and strong-willed to share it. And he was pretty convinced that, should he point this out, she would probably agree with him. Perhaps, even now, she was regretting that day when she'd spontaneously crowned him.
Hopefully they could see eye-to-eye and arrive at a mutual decision peaceably enough but, for now, it all remained to be seen. Presently, he kept his concerns tucked into the hidden chambers of his heart and mind as he threaded along the plateau's edge. He peered out over the flatlands beyond, admiring the way the moonlight left a silvery film over the grass.
Under the cover of darkness, the moose departed from the lakeshore, her long-legged calf drifting along behind her. She moved cautiously, her eyes scanning her unfamiliar surroundings, her pace slow due to the swollen belly that promised new life in another month or two. Every so often, she paused to nudge the son—not quite a yearling—that accompanied her. When she gave birth in the spring, she would chase him away but, for now, she kept him close to her bosom.
They passed beneath the shadow of a great plateau, heading northwest along a winding river toward a great forest in the distance. She hoped to make their destination by dawn, so they could spend the daylight hours sleeping in the cover of the trees. First, though, she needed a drink. Grunting lowly to signal her nearly grown child, she pressed close to the nearby riverbank and dropped her great head toward the water for a chilly drink. The young bull milled anxiously at her back.
When a pair of moose—a pregnant cow and her nearly-grown son—drifted into his field of vision, Peregrine forgot all about his problems. His mind emptied of all thought as his eyes focused sharply on their movements. His nostrils twitched and his whiskers quivered as he watched the mother slow to a stop on the riverbank for a drink. Her offspring milled at her back, keeping watch.
He could not howl for backup without alerting them. Peregrine pawed the ground in frustration. At this hour, he could hardly go around rousing all of his pack mates and gathering them for a hunt. He felt helpless as he watched them. The moose would wander away long before he readied them. This opportunity would quite literally walk by right under his nose and there was nothing he could do about it...
With a sharp growl, Peregrine whispered, "I refuse." He began to trot slowly but steadily down the decline into the flatlands, pretending to be just another shadow. If he could separate the cow from her calf, he might actually have a chance of bringing the juvenile down on his own. It would be very risky but Peregrine simply couldn't help himself. He imagined himself taking down the moose calf single-handedly, then presenting its head to his pregnant mate...
Hawkeye had woken up in the middle of the night. Peregrine was not by her side, and a slight sensation of both anxiety and relief filled her; her chest tightened, where she sighed relief. The black female lifted herself and moved quickly and quietly through the shadows to the borders. I may be pregnant, but that won't stop me from doing my job in any way."
Her sharp eyes spotted her mate going down the incline. The orbs moved across to a pair of moose drinking from the water. The young male seemed restless. Hawkeye's eyes widened as she looked from the moose to Peregrine, and back. "No," she whispered to herself. The Alphess stealthily, but quickly, moved to a less steep section of the plateau and ran up behind her mate.
Beast says feel free to skip it; it'll be posting as necessary... ;)
As he came closer, Peregrine felt trepidation growing in his breast at the sheer size of the animals. Even the young bull was much larger up close than he'd anticipated. The swarthy wolf hung back, observing them as the cow continued to drink. He licked his chops, yearning to go after them. He was strong and daring but he wasn't outright stupid, so he began to second-guess his plan to attack.
The hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood on end and he turned to see Hawkeye running up behind him. He blinked at her, then silently motioned for her to fall back. He then led her away from the moose and into the shadow of the plateau, where he felt like he could talk to her without the ungulates picking up on the sound of his voice. He was careful to remain downwind too.
"What're you doing up, babe? Can you believe they're traveling so close to the plateau? I really want to go after one..." He looked longingly at the moonlit silhouettes of the mismatched pair, then back to his mate. "But the risk's too great. I can't take them on alone. And it'd be even riskier for you. One kick and..." He didn't dare speak the words as his dusky blue-green eyes fell to her swollen sides.
When they lifted yet again to connect with hers, Peregrine suddenly recollected his earlier thoughts. Here was an unprecedented opportunity to talk it out with his mate, yet he felt his stomach tighten at the thought. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say or do yet. Now that she was here, he wasn't even sure he wanted to say anything. Maybe his concerns would pass, never to be outwardly acknowledged...
"Do you ever feel like maybe... you don't like having me beside you? I mean, not as your mate. I know you love me, as I love you. But... as an Alpha?" They just came spilling out of him anyway. "I don't want to upset or offend you, babe, so please don't be angry with me. It's just—I've been thinking about it lately and I really don't even feel like an Alpha male. I guess you're just too strong-willed..." He smiled lopsidedly, even as his heart beat nervously in his chest, worried that Hawkeye would take it the wrong way and even more worried, in a way, that she would agree with him and their picture perfect partnership would inevitably change forever.
Hawkeye nodded quietly, relieved that he was deciding against going after one of the moose. Some type of motherly instinct had come over her, and she had planned to talk him down from going after one of them.
After a pause, he went into a quiet speech about her not truly wanting him by her side. "Why do you think this, Peregrine?" Her tone was offended and hurt. "If I did not want you by my side, I would say so. If you want to be an Alpha male, I cannot help you with that. You need to step up on your own." Her voice was not exactly sharp, but showed a defensive side.
Just as he'd feared, Hawkeye seemed upset. Peregrine felt frustrated, mostly with himself. He took in her question and didn't respond immediately, thinking back on all the things that had drifted through his mind the past few days. He needed to think carefully before he spoke and do so tactfully.
"I could be totally wrong," he began. He began to present his argument, then something she'd said replayed in his brain and instead he added, "You're right. If you didn't want me by your side, you'd tell me. I am wrong." He thumped his tail, feeling a slight lift in his spirits as his stomach muscles unclenched.
After a moment, he mused, "I guess everything's been catching up to me. It all happened so fast: you and I becoming mates, me becoming Alpha. I'd never even set my sights on such a rank. I even said that when I first offered to court you. Do you remember?" His eyes were warm as he regarded her lovely face. "Now we're about to become parents... I guess it's all catching up to me and I feel a little overwhelmed.
But you're right," he continued in the next breath, "I just need to step up my game. I need to act like an Alpha male, do even better as your mate and, of course, do my best to be a good father. It's a lot and it's all challenging but... hey, with you at my side, I can do anything," he finished, leaning close to place a kiss on her collarbone, his eyes spotting the moose still lingering on the riverbank beyond Hawkeye's shoulder.
Though she doubted her feelings when she was away from him, no one would doubt that she loved her mate when she was with him. Being "in love" wasn't necessarily true all of the time, but she did love him.
She sunk into a downward dog position, and then leaped up, licking his face in appreciation of his words and in excitement. "Don't be afraid to tell me 'no'. I mean, you should be afraid of me, but I want to hear what you have to say, Prancer." Hawkeye licked his neck, and then placed her nose in the crook, relaxing and breathing him in.
Confession time: I'm thirsting to see what would happen if Hawkeye dumped Peregrine and/or went after Atticus but there's another part of me that loooves these two ahhhhh CONFLICT OF INTEREST!~ I guess I'd have fun either way, lol. :)
Utterly unaware of his mate's uncertainty about him and their future together—he truly loved her with all of his heart and believed she loved him the same way—Peregrine welcomed her embrace with relief. Her tongue slapping against his jaw made him laugh and sent warm and fuzzy sensations through his entire body. He shuddered pleasantly.
As she buried her nose in his neck, he laughed out loud at her statement. "Oh, yeah? You are pretty scary-looking, particularly first thing in the morning, when your fur's all messy and you have bloodshot eyes and bad breath..." Giving her ear a nip, he leaped away from her before she could retaliate by tearing off his face. "And I'll keep that in mind!" he added teasingly, though he meant those words; he would keep everything she'd said tonight in a filing cabinet in the back of his head.
ooc: I feel the same way.
She growled, both playfully and in slight offence. "You take that back!" She shouted, completely forgetting about the mother and her son, not that she cared if she scared them off or not; she wanted the two to run to safety.
"I don't have bad breath and bloodshot eyes..." she pouted, both in seriousness and in an attempt to have Peregrine come close to try and comfort her. That's when she would attack.
And to add to that: I love the raw realism of how Hawkeye feels, like cold feet after rushing into a relationship. It's totes legit. I feel like she should post her probs to r/relationships HAHAHA. "I [2/F] am in love with my husband [2/M]... AND his brother [2/M]. Did I mention I'm also pregnant? WHAT DO?!"
After his earlier glance, Peregrine had forgotten all about the moose, so he didn't think to check after their mutual shouting. His focus remained on his mate, whom he favored with a goofy grin. "You are so hot when you're angry," he teased her, although his eyes burned in a way that indicated he wasn't totally joking.
When she pouted, he spotted the ploy for what it was but let himself be reeled in anyhow. "Aw, don't worry, I love you despite your imperfections," he quipped playfully, nibbling at her cheek and simultaneously bracing himself for impact.
ooc: bows thank you! hahaha /r/relationships would be like WTF, do you mean "20"???
She raised her head to quickly nibble on his ear in a sexual way, a little roughly due to his comment. "I should be the most perfect thing in the world in your eyes, mister," Hawkeye growled into the swarthy ear.
The sound of voices nearby caused the cow to lift her head, water spooling from her mouth like silver thread from a reel. Her ears fell back and she grunted under her breath, swiveling as quickly as she could considering her great size. Her grown son pressed restlessly against her and the two faced the source of the sounds, though they couldn't see anything in the deep, dark shadows beneath the plateau...
Incredibly nervous now, the mother moose pushed her blunt muzzle into the young bull's shoulder, ushering him onward. She lowed under her breath, then broke into a slow but steady trot along the riverbed. Her son fell into step at her side, though he eventually passed her and swerved to run directly in front of her. She was glad of this; she could keep an eye on him from here.
Throwing a nervous glance over her shoulder, she then faced forward and, soon enough, the two moose disappeared upriver and the plateau wolves' opportunity was lost for good.
He was lucky; she didn't strike him. Instead, she nibbled rather roughly on his ear, though Peregrine found the act more erotic than anything. He rumbled under his breath, his tail tapping the ground as he leaned into her as if encouraging her gnawing.
Eventually, he moved his head to look her square in the eyes. Their gazes lingered before he leaned forward and kissed her softly at the corner of her eye, then again at the corner of her mouth. He then tipped his dark muzzle toward her ear and whispered, "You are perfection."
The sound of the moose fleeing caused his ear to flick backward, yet he refused to look away from Hawkeye's face. He loved the chiseled look of her cheekbones and the glimmer of her pastel green eyes, especially in the mercurial moonlight. He loved everything about her and was happy to just sit there and stare at her forever.
'You are perfection.' Hawkeye's stomach dropped. In this moment, she remembered what had transpired between herself and Atticus. And the feelings she still wore for him. She hid her emotions on her face, but adverted her eyes anyway. Hawkeye felt awkward with her mate staring into her eyes; it would never be something she'd get used to.
Pushing her cheek under the edge of his jaw, she said, "Stop looking at me you romantic weirdo. It makes me feel awkward." She hoped she would not hurt his feelings, but she couldn't stand it anymore. "Why don't we head home. You need to sleep." The Alpha was suddenly tired again, and she cursed softly. Always tired now, when before she could have only a few hours of sleep and be fine. Maybe she was just getting older.
She averted her eyes. Rather than suspect that something was amiss—Peregrine was blithely unaware that his mate didn't feel as strongly devoted to him as he did to her and he had no reason to suspect anything—he chuckled under his breath. He knew he could be a little too intense for her tastes, though the Alpha imagined she still enjoyed it, even if it made her squirm a little bit. He was unhurt by what he considered her playful name-calling.
"Oh, I need to sleep, do I? I'm not the one lugging around two lovable but energy-sucking parasites," he said with a soft smile. "But, yes, let's go home. You can use me as your pillow pal—all three of you," he added for the benefit of the unborn Ty and O.J. Peregrine licked the side of Hawkeye's face, then began strolling toward the plateau and their cozy den.
"I hope you know that means that I get to lay right on top of you and you can't complain, mister." Hawkeye teased her mate, trotting to fall in step behind him. He has a nice ass she thought gleefully, her prior mood completely forgotten as she absorbed the joy of the moment.
"By all means," was his only reply. Perhaps it made him a sap but Peregrine didn't care; he would do anything at all for Hawkeye. He loved her, he already loved their children and he would do anything at all for them. He was especially accommodating right now, when she had to bear the burden of carrying them all by herself. Really, it was the least he could do.
Soon, they reached their den and Peregrine stepped aside. "After you," he said in his deep voice, sliding his muzzle along Hawkeye's flank as she passed into the den. The feel of her swollen side made his heart leap. He pranced in after her, throwing himself to the floor and sprawling there so that she could use him as a mattress if she wanted. Then, happily oblivious to any discomfort caused by whatever arrangement she chose, Peregrine wrapped himself around his little family and fell asleep.