Wolf RPG

He was late, he knew. @Lasher had asked him to return to the brambly woods in one week, not ten days later. Peregrine a little guilty, though it was tempered a great deal by the knowledge that he was just doing his fatherly duties. Fox and the pups came first before anything and no one knew that better than Lasher. Plus, he figured the ocher male would understand how hectic parenting could get, especially in the earliest days.

He roved into the forest, his jade gaze sweeping side to side for any sign of his former flame. For some reason, he didn't feel like calling for him. So he prowled, silent and leonine, beneath the blooming boughs overhead, utilizing his tracking skills to search for any sign of Lasher's passage.

ten days it had been, but lasher too had been far too focused upon mending the rift between himself and deirdre to recall the exact date of his next meeting with peregrine. yet he soon gathered the trail of his thoughts -- removing himself from the lands of donnelaith, the man trekked down to the forest in which he had last seen the panther and set about picking up the trail of his former lover's scent.

it was not long before he came upon peregrine; he moved to the dark wolf's side, though not too closely, and moved in silence alongside the man of the caldera with careful steps.

Suddenly, Lasher was simply there, walking at his side like his smaller, slightly faded shadow. Peregrine continued walking for a few moments, musing at the way they fell into step like a pair of well-trained carthorses, then slowed down to a stop. He motioned toward a patch of grass beneath a tall and impossibly straight elm, then took a seat and waited for his companion to make himself comfortable.

"How's your family?" the Alpha inquired. Despite his typical lack of interest in anything outside the caldera, the expression of absorption on Peregrine's dark face was authentic. Mostly, he was wondering about Lasher's unsteady relationship with Deirdre.

perhaps it was his earlier musings, but lasher forced himself not to smile at the quite phallic tree that peregrine had chosen to sit beneath. arranging himself likewise, he nodded at the dark wolf. "they are well; however, deirdre continues to ignore me and my son has gone off to the south." lasher presumed that casmir had gone to live with saena, but mentioned none of this to the panther - he did not know if peregrine was aware of the pale girl's pack, or its location.

"how fare your own?" he asked gently, though now his mind lingered on his troubled daughter. could he ever mend what had been taken from them? lasher suspected it would be difficult to do so. yet he turned his attention to peregrine -- handsome as he had always been, the devil sat before him, and lasher would be lying if he said he was not sorely tempted in that moment.

Peregrine frowned thoughtfully at this news, then said, "Time heals all wounds." Realizing what he'd just said and how it was ironic, his mouth twitched at one corner. "Look at the two of us, for example. Who'd have ever thought there was any coming back from what we went through? Here we are." He swept his paw, gesturing at both of them, before setting his broad paw back on the cool loam.

"Healthy, wealthy and wise," he replied simply to Lasher's question before reverting back to the prior topic. "But tell me... why are we doing this? I don't mind," he was sure to say, "because I meant it when I said I always wanted you to be a part of my life. But I also wasn't the one who hurled curses." He knew he kept mentioning this, yet at least this time, there was a slightly teasing look on his black features.

he did not know why they sat with one another now, though he did agree with peregrine's assessment of time's effect upon their earlier strife. at the panther's mention of what lasher had said, the sable ears folded back against the druid's skull. "i hated you when i said those things," the earthen servant murmured softly. "yet it did not last long, and now that i understand what it is to kill one who threatens who you love, i felt it necessary to find you and to issue an apology."

a wry smile tugged softly at the edges of his mouth. "and you seemed to have accepted, at least in part." there came a thought so pervasive that lasher turned his gaze to the woodland 'round them, then turned his eyes to the verdant canopy against the pale blue of the sky, before he found the devil's eyes again. 

"i have missed you, truly. my love for you has never died. i banked it down, perhaps, but the ember has always been existent, and strong."

He listened in silence as Lasher tried to explain his feelings, now and then. It stung when he was reminded that Lasher had truly hated him, once, although the feeling quickly passed. Peregrine nodded to indicate that he had truly accepted the apology, his body stilling at the confession of Lasher's undying love for him. He wasn't quite sure what to do with that, if anything was even expected from him.

He wasn't entirely sure he could say the same. He had long since ceased missing Lasher and while he didn't hate him and regarded him with the tentative fondness of reborn friendship now, Peregrine didn't feel he could say his feelings were strong enough to be called love any longer. Quite frankly, he wasn't certain he wanted to rebuild toward that, either. He wondered if that's what Lasher wanted.

"Like I said," he began after a lengthy, contemplative pause, "I'm happy to have you as part of my life. But I'm not sure what you're hoping for here," he admitted, his jade eyes honest as he looked into Lasher's. "Do you?" he had to wonder.

the man shook his head gently. "i do not need my love to be returned. i hope only for your forgiveness." he knew that they could never be as they had been, and while he would have adored a stolen moment of mutual want and desire, the chaotic entwinement of their bodies, he himself did not expect that they would resume any such thing -- lasher did not know if the want for such was even alive within him.

he had called peregrine back to him for but one thing -- he had said his piece, and they had shared affable words. what more could he wish for? it was enough that they were together now, in this place, with the warmth and colour of spring turning their landscape into a gentler one for the backdrop of their soft words.

Peregrine didn't even hesitate before answering, "Well, you have it." He blinked, then smiled a small but easy smile. "You can even have my friendship, although I probably don't have to remind you that I'm not very good at maintaining those outside of my pack. But it's yours, if you want it." He complemented this amiable offer by stretching out a paw and giving Lasher's shoulder a nudge.

As he gazed at the other man, he let images of the past wash over him. He remembered the time when he'd told Lasher he would never take another lover. He hadn't, physically, but he had loved Pan very much. The thought of the long-missing wolf caused Peregrine's heart to twinge. As with Lasher, he had moved past the grieving period, though that loss was both more recent and permanent.

Perhaps they could have chatted about their love lives, yet he didn't think it was appropriate after Lasher's admission, so instead Peregrine asked, "Did you get a chance to say hello to my sisters?" And by that, he meant both Osprey and Blue Willow.

the brush of peregrine's paw flustered the druid; he composed himself and reached to touch the lowered dark limb with a brief pat of his own.

blue willow and osprey. his mate had been cold toward the idea, and osprey had been too involved with dante and the cycle of heat upon her -- lasher gave a nod all the same. "i do not think that the willow will come to the caldera any sooner than several months; she is loathe to leave the little ones, and she is ... wary. osprey may, perhaps."

he did not wish to tell peregrine of his mate's angered words, nor tell him of how osprey intended children -- it was difficult to avoid the subject, but he wished for nothing to taint this meeting, nor for anger to sweep over either of them. allow it to be so, he wished, though he suspected peregrine would ask for further details.

The swarthy wolf blinked in genuine surprise. "I never expected them to," he assured Lasher, squinting a little. "I hadn't even really thought about the possibility." Suddenly, though, he found himself hoping Osprey would wander this way someday. He dearly missed her and would love to catch up with the original (and fraternal) love of his life.

He wondered at Blue Willow's so-called reticence. Their last encounter had been a friendly enough one near the plateau, though he supposed she could still be angry with him about Junior. It just seemed strange that such a sweet spirit could hold a grudge so long, when even Lasher had found it in himself to forgive Peregrine. Had the situation with Deirdre not also give her more perspective, as it had done her partner?

"I've actually made my peace with that, though: knowing I may never see some of my loved ones again. But I can still... appreciate them, from afar." He shrugged. "I don't know that I believe in an afterlife but maybe when we're all dead, we can make our peace and frolic in a giant field in the sky together," Peregrine joked very wryly.

he too wondered if blue willow would ever make her peace with the swarthy man, but would not have faulted her for never forgiving her brother. he had killed her niece, and though lasher now understood his reasoning, he still felt the keen sting of junior's death, and their inability to see her a last time before she found death in the caldera. it was a sad thing that the panther spoke of next; though he rounded it with his usual wry and great humour, taltos suspected pain remained there. 

yet he did not touch upon the subject; he nodded with a wan smile. "that is a lovely image," the druid murmured warmly, giving his one-time lover a larger grin than he had before. the meeting strangely comforted lasher; it filled some void within him that had long been empty.

Despite his own words, Peregrine couldn't really imagine an afterlife like that, particularly if it included the likes of Junior. Although his seething repugnance at her final actions had simmered over time, he had never been able to forgive her. He didn't think he ever would. But that was fair, considering she had certainly never forgiven him, either, and had gone to the grave with black bitterness in her heart.

Putting those thoughts aside, the black wolf asked, "So, what do friends do, besides catch up? I feel we've done that, so what now?" Because the truth was, he wasn't in a rush to get back home. Yes, Fox and his kids were waiting for him, yet he had carved out this time today and intended to use it. "I have another hour or two before I need to return to the caldera. Maybe a walk or something?"

lasher allowed a small, mischievous glance to be shot peregrine's way -- surely the panther remembered how they had whiled away the time not so long ago? gathering himself to his paws, he stepped to the side of the caldera leader. "a walk is quite welcome," he murmured gently, prepared to follow peregrine wherever he might lead in this moment. as not to seem so very interested, lasher trained his eyes upon the woodland 'round them; the bright emerald of the grass, the azurite skyline. here and there small animals frolicked -- with a sharp intake of breath, the druid paused and motioned with his muzzle toward the tinier of two small fawns tucked aside in a little glade for their mother's return.

so delicate were they! he marvelled silently at them, pleased to share the moment with peregrine.

Lasher made no suggestions, though he seemed amenable to a walk. And so they began to mosey through the woods, their steps soft on the springy earth. Peregrine watched Lasher take in his surroundings. Although there was no particular sentimentality in his gaze—he really had laid those feelings to rest a long time ago (death curses could have that effect)—there was admiration in his gaze. Lasher was truly a beautiful wolf.

"Oh," the swarthy Alpha suddenly said after a long stretch of companionable silence. "I forgot to mention that we named the kids since I last saw you. Fox likes to wait until they're a month old," he explained, wondering if Lasher would find that as weird (and maybe upsetting) as he had at first, way back when. Now it was just another Redhawk tradition.

likewise, lasher regarded peregrine as quite lovely in his aesthetics. he had long accepted that there could surely be nothing betwixt them -- he was content to merely love the panther from afar, and perhaps share in these little interludes from time to time. peregrine's deep tones caused the druid to glance his way. he had never understood the stance upon names that the ruby took. of course, he knew that there was a biological reason for such -- it seemed a true waste to him nevertheless.

however he was eager to hear the titles -- he smiled at the devil. "surely they are avian in nature," he assume gently, given the other's upbringing.

"Only half," he reported with a chuckle. "Ferret, Gannet, Whip-poor-will and Peter Pan." Three of the names were more or less self-explanatory for those who knew him and Fox. Peregrine paused, then decided to explain the latter's name. "Peter's first name is random, though the second one is in honor of a lost loved one." His lips curled into a brief, sad smile that touched his dusky jade eyes.

He found himself thinking momentarily of how he and Pan had never been physically intimate, at least in the sensual sense. His single sighted eye roved over Lasher again. Maybe there was no romantic sentiment present for him, yet all of a sudden, he couldn't deny a visceral attraction, a temptation.

lasher grinned. "all strong names. and quite interesting." ferret certainly intrigued the man as a name for a wolf, and though he knew he would not be there to see it, he wondered what sort of creature such a named beast might become. the bow of his lips faded at the wan curl that touched peregrine's own; his ears folded against his skull briefly, and, if peregrine allowed it, taltos sought to nudge his shoulder very momentarily. 

it was in the next second that he met the gaze of his once-lover and saw there an emotion he did not think he would behold again. yet lasher told himself that it was fleeting -- despite the answer of yes deep within his breast, a wordless want that filled his features -- he pulled his eyes aside after a long moment and moved onward, heated by peregrine's stare and yet unknowing if it was wise to begin again.

At some point, Peregrine had stopped walking. He was staring blatantly at Lasher now, the hunger in his expression growing. Unlike that tempting she-wolf by the lake, there was no reason not to pursue carnal relations with him, if that's what he (they) wanted. Back in the day, he had refused to carry on in such a way, lest he string Lasher along, but he didn't think the stakes were what they were back then. Plus, Lasher was an adult and could make decisions for himself, for better or worse. That's what Peregrine told himself, anyhow.

"I kind of want your mouth on me," the swarthy wolf said boldly.

peregrine spoke, but it was not at all what lasher had expected to hear. beneath his dark fur he flushed, but his eyes darkened with lust, and also for the words to be so brazen, the panther's want clearly depicted in his verdant eyes. birdsong trilled overhead, and as a breeze rose, lasher pressed his mouth against the prideful curve of the panther's neck, inhaling the scent there, flooded breathlessly by the aroma of forest and blood, of desire and savagery that was peregrine.

presently he looked into the other's eyes and motioned toward a soft patch of clover near unto them. "lie down," he whispered, unable to keep the throatiness from his tones, nor the delicious thrum of his own rising want.

There was no telling how Lasher would take this confession, at least until the moment he spoke. Peregrine's lips twitched in amusement at his former flame's willingness and his gentle command. The swarthy Alpha knew he probably shouldn't do this, however he found he couldn't resist the temptation that was dangled in front of him.

He lowered his body to the ground, stretching out on his side, groaning in pleasure when several of his joints popped audibly. "I'm an old man," he mused, which was probably not very sexy at all.

peregrine complied, and lasher shook his muzzle with a grin. "with age comes wisdom, dear one," he murmured, pressing his lips against the panther's throat, his shoulder, the plush rise of his chest, traveling ever downwards with slow and tender movements. little had changed since the last time they had known one another -- but much had changed also. it was as if he was exploring a lover's body for the first time, and yet he settled into familiarity quite soon.

placing his forelegs on either side of the dark hips, lasher fell to his pleasurable task, lapsing into silence that would, he hoped, be filled with the throated sounds of his lover's ecstasy, though he prolonged la petit mort as long as he was able, teasing peregine with motions that bordered on cruel with their witholding.

The touch of Lasher's tongue on various points of his body felt good, though when they got down to business, some part of Peregrine detached inexplicably. It was pleasurable in a distant sort of way and his body cooperated, at least at first. But as the minutes passed, his former flame teasing him with lips, teeth and tongue, the black wolf lost his arousal.

Grimacing apologetically, he shifted away from Lasher and settled with his thighs collapsed on top of one another. "I'm an old man," he repeated sort of feebly, as if trying to pass his age off as an excuse for his dysfunction. It didn't feel wrong, per se, but it didn't feel right either.

"I think..." Peregrine spoke after a long beat of silence, "we'd probably work best as friends." He paused, licking his lips, which twitched faintly. "Sans benefits," he quipped, hoping to make light of this suddenly awkward situation.

to lasher's chagrin, his ministrations were greeted with a visible dying of peregrine's physical desire, and the ebon wolf turned aside from him, offering a weak series of words as excuse. taltos rocked back upon his haunches and gave his former lover an encouraging glance, though his heart thrummed within him with pain. "perhaps i have lost my touch," the druid murmured gently. 

"friends. it is better than enemies, no? much better." perhaps they could not be lovers, but taltos was grateful for their renewed bond, and leant forward to nudge peregrine's hip affectionately.

Peregrine shook his head emphatically. "No." He let that word hang there between them for a moment, then said, "I know this is an overused phrase but, really... it's not you, it's me." He huffed a quiet laugh, hoping Lasher wouldn't feel too self-conscious. He was both handsome and clever with his tongue, so it was no shortcoming of his own.

"Yes," he agreed quietly with his former flame's assessment, a small, contented sigh following the word. That was when Lasher nudged at his hip, prompting the swarthy wolf to arch forward and playfully snap his teeth at the ocher male's cheek.