Not that Wildfire remembered her dream—not even a wisp of it remained in her head—but she was faring much better in the hunting department than it might have suggested. She managed to kill two rabbits early this morning. She ate them both, then felt impossibly overstuffed afterward.
This bodes well, the yearling thought wryly, though it was true. It was a good thing she had spent so much time training as a trapper. It would probably save her life, now that she was on her own.
Slowed down by her overly full belly, Wildfire wandered farther north. She traveled in silence, huffing a sigh every now and then as her new reality washed over her for the hundredth time. She reminded herself that this was a prime opportunity to travel and see more of the world. It was just tough to see the bright side, when part of her broken heart was still scattered among the nooks, crannies and wolves of Moonspear, especially Floki.
She drifted west and found herself at the edge of a glistering brook. She paused at a bend and thought about taking a drink, yet she didn't think she could fit anything else in her stomach. Grimacing slightly, the young she-wolf slowly sat on her haunches and took a moment to study her surroundings. The stream itself wound away into the distance in either direction, its banks peppered with aspens and birches. Aside from its muted burbling, it was very quiet here. Between that and her full stomach, Wildfire began to feel sleepy.
The April wind shifted suddenly and the Redhawk became more alert as the scent of wolves blustered into her nose.
@Saena? she thought immediately. Had she incidentally wandered into her half-sister's neighborhood?
I am
in the north, she realized, slowly gathering herself to her feet and beginning to wade across a shallow part of the brook.
Saena felt like any day her stomach would implode. Two weeks ago she wouldn't believe a claim that she would continue growing until she felt ready to burst, but it was indeed the case. In the past few days everything had ballooned, from her already heavy belly to her legs that were normally quite slender. The edema was natural, but Saena didn't know that and spent her time wallowing miserably.
As the morning began to fade into noon, Saena grew bored with practically rolling in and out of her whelping den. It was a prime location. Near to a babbling stream and in the heart of the maple wood, she would have easy access to water and the safety of her entire pack plus miles of claimed territory to serve as a buffer. Unfortunately, it looked like the rest of the woods and so the view left something to be desired. Seeking a respite from her misery and a change of scenery, Saena heedlessly headed for the pack's eastern border.
The last thing she expected to see as she left her territory and headed into the aspen-littered Whitebark area was a wolf, and the last wolf she expected to see was Wildfire. When she caught a glimpse of red fur through the trees, her thoughts flew immediately to Fox and her hackles bristled as her face contorted with a wild fury. She stutter-stepped (read: awkwardly waddled) several paces with that ferocity, forgetting all about her pregnancy in her haste to kill the bitch at last, but then she caught sight of the tail. Black as the ace of spades.
Smoothing her features from fierce to confused, the alpha female slowed and asked, "Wildfire?"
When she reached the opposite shore, she paused, idly shaking cold water from her paws as she tilted her smudged snout into the air to sift through the scents again. There was another one in there that struck her as familiar, yet she couldn't place it. Before she could spend any time trying to identify it, she heard weighted footfalls coming her way. Although she was fairly certain she hadn't crossed any boundaries, the she-wolf immediately lowered her head. Not only did it serve as a gesture of respect, it also covered her throat.
Saena herself appeared, cutting an unmistakable and noticeably rounded figure against the backdrop of trees behind her. "Saena," Wildfire veritably breathed, feeling a tiny flicker of gladness for the first time in days. "I didn't realize I was in your neighborhood until just now." She meant to say something else after that, perhaps offer to make herself scarce if she was too close after all, but instead Wildfire's amber gaze dropped to Saena's almost comically distended midsection. She stared in silence without realizing she was doing it.
Wildfire's words confused Saena. While she hadn't forgotten her vow to attack any wolf who came near her pack reeking of Peregrine or Fox due to the attack on her own life so long ago, Saena had forgotten she threatened to attack any Redhawk wolf in the entire taiga, and she hardly counted Wildfire among them anyway. The girl resembled Fox in ways that sometimes made Saena's stomach turn nervously, but her half-sister had never threatened her in any way. It couldn't be clearer that Wildfire didn't share her mother's aggressive ideals, and so she was exempt from Saena's own ruling. The submissive posture and breathed words seemed unusual and stopped the pregnant alpha in her tracks.
"You're not trespassing," she pointed out. They were getting close to the maplewood and in her state Saena had every right to be defensive here, but there was no cause. She knew who Wildfire was and sincerely doubted foul play. Nevertheless, she didn't comfortably seat herself as she might've with an old friend, but stood sidelong. Her face scrunched as the breeze picked up and she noted, "you smell different." In fact, it was strange indeed for Wildfire to be here when the caldera was miles and miles to the south. Saena knew the girl was a scout, but she also pegged Wildfire as a family loyalist. It didn't make sense for Wildfire to be so far from her southron pack and smelling like something else entirely, and that thought piqued Saena's interest immediately.
"What brings you all the way up here?" she wondered aloud, genuinely curious to hear of something unrelated to the Dragons across the river and her hedonistic ex-mate.
Saena seemed to pick up on Wildfire's uneasiness and reassured her that she wasn't trespassing. Wildfire noted this with a perfunctory nod, relaxing a little bit. She finally blinked several times, then took a few steps and slowly dropped to her haunches. Her ears cupped forward at the other female's comment and her cheeks puffed out with a held breath that she released in a slow whoosh.
"I'm just wandering," she replied, which was the truth, more or less. Wildfire paused, her skin crawling a little at the thought of recollecting recent events out loud. But how else could she explain? "I just left my pack," she bluntly confessed. "I was involved with a guy there and we didn't work out," she said in way of explanation. Only as the words left her mouth did she realize Saena had probably assumed she still lived at the caldera. "I haven't lived at the caldera since last fall."
She rolled a slender red shoulder in conveyance of a silent message: I don't really wanna talk about it. Wildfire wouldn't mind keeping the spotlight on Saena, as a matter of fact, and took the next breath to inquire, "So... you and Reek are expecting?" There was a small possibility her half-sister had just gained (a lot) of weight but Wildfire was pretty sure it was a safe assumption Saena was, in fact, pregnant.
Just wandering. It seems to be the only reason anyone leaves their home. Packs in the wilds have never been very communicative with one another, so the demand for messengers is low at the best of times. Exploration is a decent reason to go, but doesn't serve much practical purpose to a pack. Saena knows Wildfire has a home and a pair of alphas to report to and knows they are nowhere near the taiga, so exploring this far has little appeal. Wandering for the sake of wandering makes perfect sense, and is in fact the only explanation that makes sense given Wildfire's position in life.
Or it was the only explanation until her half-sister confesses the exact opposite of what Saena expects. "Oh?" she queries, but she doesn't have to ask to get an answer: she and a guy didn't work out, and the caldera is old news. "Bummer," says Saena. With no way of knowing the full details of Wildfire's departure from her pack, she doesn't realize how insensitive this response is. "Was it mutual?" She supposes it must've been, but only because she thinks Wildfire is a loyal wolf at heart and wouldn't leave a relationship otherwise. It's possible she's wrong about that, too.
When Wildfire mentions Reek, Saena's nostrils flare, and her ears twitch aggressively. "We were," she says, "but Reek left me for my beta, so now it's just me expecting." Well, he may as well have done just that, she thought. What other reason would a man cheat on his pregnant wife?
If only to avoid delving too far into the painful back story, Wildfire merely nodded in response to Saena's query. The issue was so much thornier than that but the yearling would prefer to focus on her half-sister's happy news. Of course, she learned in the next moment that she wasn't alone in her heartbreak and that Saena wasn't busily framing the perfect family portrait. Wildfire felt like her heart lurched in her chest at the news, which genuinely took her by surprise. Sweet, homely Reek had cheated on Saena? And left her? Pregnant? It didn't jive with her impression of him but there was no reason not to trust Saena, so the scout took the tale at face value.
Her features twisted a little, as if there was an unpleasant smell held right beneath her nose. "I'm so sorry to hear that," Wildfire said genuinely, then sighed and added, "I guess we're in the same boat. Well, our boats are pretty different, I guess. But we're both up shit creek. Without a paddle." She was babbling. "Are you okay?" she asked next, amber eyes sympathetic as they lifted briefly to Saena's pretty facial features, a tooth sinking into her lower lip as her expression became authentically concerned.
The twist of Wildfire's expression twists Saena's gut as well. A few months ago, she would've claimed that Reek was completely devoted to her and would never leave. How wrong she was about that. She shifts her legs to hide her discomfort as best she can, but her heart plummets to her stomach again as she briefly relives it in her mind. The image fades away when Wildfire asks after her, and she nods mutely for a moment.
"I'll live," she says after a pregnant pause, then returns, "are you?" Perhaps Wildfire being so far in the north is a cause for worry, but for all she knows, her half-sister's new (former) pack is in the area somewhere. She only knows of Sleeping Dragon and the hollow pack further to the south. "These kids are coming no matter what state I'm in," she breathes, "so all I can do now is move forward, try to keep them safe, especially from him." He presents no danger to his own blood, she is sure, but he presents a very real emotional danger to her. That's enough reason for Saena to hold Reek in contempt, whether or not it was truly reasonable of her (it wasn't).
"I'll live." Wildfire nodded, then smiled a little dryly and echoed, "I'll live." She had survived the trauma, then the the aftermath. Things could only go up from here, right? Hopefully the same would go for Saena, though the yearling knew the hardest times were probably still ahead for her half-sister. The small smile faded.
"From him?" she repeated, ears falling back. Did Reek pose a threat to his own children? Would he hurt them to get at Saena? Wildfire's fur bristled at the thought. It occurred to her that the pups in Saena's womb were distantly related to her, by blood even. Her amber eyes narrowed and she swallowed an uncharacteristic growl. "Are all men such... pieces of shit?" she blurted thoughtlessly.
Catching herself, Wildfire pressed her lips together and shook her head as if trying to get rid of that errant thought. "Is there anything I can do? I'm a hunter, I could grab some food if you'd like." And that reminded her: "Hey, did that Tavi deliver my message, maybe two months back?" She had also given Tavi a piece of meat then, though whether or not it had made it to Saena, she wouldn't know, seeing as Wildfire had offered it to the messenger herself first and foremost.
Saena nods mutely, but finds she has no words for the way she feels about who fathered her litter. If she could change it somehow she would, but the reality is known to her and there's no point voicing desires she can't attain. Her own ears follow suit with Wildfire's as she briefly wallows in their joint misery, but when her half-sibling speaks again, Saena meets it with a snort and a grimace.
"In my experience, yes," she answers without hesitation. If she truly thought about it for any length of time, she would realize that the number of pieces of shit she's met in her life is quite small. A handful, maybe, of wolves whose behaviour is unforgivable. Yet that handful of assholes has the biggest impact, and her focus is solely on them in her darkest moments. "Some women too," she mutters, but it's also been her experience that it's usually men, as Wildfire has regrettably learned for herself.
She supposes that's inevitable, though. If men are frequently pieces of shit, it's only a matter of time before any female wolf draws that conclusion from her own experiences.
Wildfire's offer pulls a grateful warmth to Saena's eyes, but she ultimately declines. "There's enough here," she says dismissively, "you should keep whatever you catch for yourself." She doesn't realize the assumption she's made until she says it, and pockets it for a moment when Tavi's name comes up. Her jaw sets and her lips morph into a hard line, but she manages to say, "yeah, right before she stole him." Well, that cat's out of the bag. She didn't intend to bring up the other woman, and sheepishly peers elsewhere for a moment.
"I mean... nevermind. So are you alone now?" she asks in a desperate bid to change the topic, and also because the idea of Wildfire being a lone wolf both worries Saena and interests her.
In Wildfire's own experience, men were far more likely than women to turn on her and do terrible things. She didn't exactly have a huge data pool and it was entirely possible (even likely) that her experiences with Goober and Charon colored her perspective significantly. But it wasn't like she could help it. That was life for you: a sum of experiences that shaped you, for better or worse.
Saena seemed grateful for the offer, even if she declined it. When her half-sister told her to keep her spoils to herself, Wildfire motioned toward her belly and quipped, "Oh, I did plenty of that this morning." Her food baby had nothing on Saena's real babies, though. Before Wildfire could have a laugh at that thought, the bobtail said something that wiped the blooming smile right off her face again.
She quickly connected the dots: Tavi was the Beta who had run off with Reek. Wildfire grimaced. Saena didn't want to linger on the subject, understandably. The young gypsy schooled her expression back to something more neutral and thought back on what information she had already given about her status. It was strange to think the words lone wolf in reference to herself, yet it was the stark reality.
"Yeah, I mean, I'm not part of a pack and not actively looking for one either," she admitted. "There's part of me that wants to take advantage of this opportunity, live without strings attached. You know? But I do have a feeling I'll end up settling somewhere else. I just don't know when or where yet."
Though she doesn't expect anything, she's disappointed when Wildfire shuts down Saena's brief hope for recruitment. With the still-fresh loss of two of the pack's finest in terms of helping out, the Alpha can certainly make use of able bodies and wolves confident in their skills, a fact she's sure to be true of Wildfire, but she knows all too well the call of the wild and the potential benefits of a solitary life. She's considered it on occasion herself, and sometimes regrets settling down and claiming land rather than roaming the wide world beyond the wilds.
"I get you," she says, though her teeth snag her lower lip momentarily in a gesture of disappointment. "If ever you do decide to settle somewhere in the area, you'd always be welcome here. I'm sure my kids would also benefit from knowing someone level-headed like you, and you'd be their uncontested favourite half-aunt," and she leaves that offer on the table for her half-sibling's consideration. While Saena doesn't count many among her family any longer, she's willing to take the opportunity to get to know Wildfire better should it arise. Until then, Saena is good at biding her time.
Wildfire sensed it coming, though it still took her a little by surprise when Saena made an official offer. She thought back on the first time they'd met, when the pale yearling had gone off on a tirade to end all tirades. Wildfire had felt so weird following the events of that day. Then they had run into one another a handful of times and somehow struck up a civil relationship. Now, here they were, Saena not only offering a rank in her pack but a role in her unborn children's—Wildfire's nieces and nephews— lives. It was so crazy to think about how far they'd come, the odds they'd overcome, and on principle alone, Wildfire almost accepted on the spot.
But her mind overruled her heart, as it often did. Wildfire did not make decisions lightly, after all. She directed a very wide, grateful grin in her half-sister's direction and said, "That means a lot to me, Saena." She paused, then slightly reluctantly added, "I'm not ready to make a commitment just yet but your pack is definitely at the top of my list." Her chestnut eyes drifted to Saena's rounded middle and she smiled as she asked, "Do you have any names in mind for them yet?"
Saena's ears drooped before Wildfire ever got to politely declining the invitation. The red-haired wolf hardly needed to add it; the moment she said the offer was appreciated, Saena already anticipated the "but" hidden in the words. She wasn't often perceptive but this one was easy enough to pick up on. Wildfire went on to ease the sting of rejection by claiming the maplewood would be her first choice when she was ready, and had Saena a tail, she would've swept it in acceptance of this.
"I understand," she said, even though she really didn't. Saena hadn't gone more than a couple weeks in her life without being part of a pack. The call of the wild wasn't a siren song for her. Having a home to return to was, it seemed, of paramount importance to her, whereas Wildfire was a true blue explorer.
When asked about the names, she bobbed her head. "Indra and Milo," she shared, feeling an awkward pang at mention of the latter. If she was even the slightest bit creative, she'd come up with another name for any male pups she might have to spare herself the memory of Reek, but she had nothing. "And I don't know what to call them if there are more," she said, pinching her lips together thoughtfully. She was banking on there only be one or two, though, and didn't attempt to think up any more than what she already had.
Something about Saena's response made her remember a previous conversation of theirs. "Remember," Wildfire drawled with an impish look on her face, "if you have more than two, you can always eat the extras, or trade them." Then her half-sister wouldn't need to bother worrying about naming them at all. Of course, Wildfire wasn't serious in the least, so she followed up her joke with a low chuckle.
The sky echoed it abruptly, only the sound it made was more of a low rumble. The yearling's head jerked upward, amber eyes squinting as she noticed the horizon darkening, out west over the open ocean. A storm was making its way inland. She was no naturalist any longer, though Wildfire studied the skies and guessed it would make landfall within the hour.
Between that and her still full stomach, the scout thought a nap sounded like a really good idea right about now. "You should get back home before it starts to rain," Wildfire said in what she hoped was a considerate tone. "And I'm going to find some shelter and go sleep off this food baby." She paused, her black tail twitching, brushing against her ankles. "I'm sure I'll see you around, Saena. Take care."
With a last glance and smile, Wildfire began to thread along the stream's bank, studying the pale trunks of trees and looking for the perfect place to curl up and wait out a rainstorm.
Saena's lips twitched into a faint smile at the memory Wildfire dredged up, but she didn't think on it too much. She was no longer sure she'd be able to eat her own offspring, though the idea was tempting. She would never have to deal with Reek again if they all mysteriously died. Still, now that she was older and actually pregnant, she supposed it was a little unthinkable.
Her eyes shifted to the greying sky as well when a quiet peal of thunder sounded from high above. The Alpha's fur prickled lightly. She last major storm she'd experienced was the one that destroyed Redtail Rise, and while she knew this was not the same kind of storm, she was feeling anxious suddenly. For that reason, she was a little glad when Wildfire called an end to their meeting, although she did have the decency to echo her half-sister's farewell: "stay warm and fed out there." Til you return, Saena thought with certainty. She knew Wildfire was a wolf of her word.
As her red-haired sibling left to seek shelter, Saena turned and loped deeper into the woods in search of a place to hide.