In a dark den a tan wolf stared at the back wall. A small puddle of water had formed from a hole in the ceiling. Judas moved his eyes down, seeing dark green eyes stare back in hate. He was losing his mind, he knew that much. But now he began to question if he had already lost it.
"You are weak. How could you fail?" said his reflection. "I didn't fail! I am not weak!" Judas snapped back, snarling at the face in the water. To him, it felt so real. But in reality, it was only pure imagination. In truth, he was only talking to himself. His eyes were wild, yet the reflection was strangely calm. "You failed your task. What would Lumar think? What would mother think?"
"Shut up!" he shouted, splashing down upon the puddle. Only madness had hold of him now.
It had been a few days since the fight between Judas and Mitanni, and Malice scar was healing up pretty good. Ever day she cleaned it in the water, and without anyone knowing, she admired the scar. It looked fucking awesome. That was the only thing she could say about it.
Today, she woke up with an eerie feeling. Disgust was one of them, as she had mated the yearling Issun, but that wasn't everything. Her concern for the male Judas had grown. Or maybe it was the strange horny feeling she had had when Issun had claimed her. Whatever it was, she wanted to see how he was doing. Maybe she would get something out of him about his past, an explanation of why he had done what he did.
She went to her stash of food, hidden under a tree root, and picked up a dead hare. He should be hungry by now since he wasn't aloud to leave the den. And despite his actions, he was still a Moonlit Wolf, thus Malice had to look after him. With the poor dead critter in her mouth, she trotted to the dens. Upon arriving there, she could hear someone talking. Well, he lost his mind , was the only thing she could think.
She stood in the opening of the den, one pale yellow eye looking at the insane being playing around in a fucking puddle, the other eye closed because of her scar. Easy, kitty.
She murmured through the dead body of the hare. She dropped it inside, near the man's front legs. Food, you need it.
She said, cold as ice. She wanted to turn right then and there, but something kept her locked in place. It was the tingly feeling in her stomach again, but this time she tried to fight it.
Judas continued to smash his forepaws against the puddle, not matter how much the stone floor hurt them. Though he froze when he smelt someone nearby. Someone had just entered his little domain, and he did not like that. Not one bit. He was about to turn and lunge until they dropped something in front of him. Then he heard Malice, and a sense of calmness washed over.
Without looking at her, Judas pushed the hare away. "I don't want it." In his mind, the voice began again, this time with no face to see. "We don't need their sympathies. We don't need their help." The insane halfbreed snarled at the voice, revealing teeth under his upper lip. "Shut up!" he hissed with anger he had hidden for so long, putting his head under his paws.
OOOOH, betch, you pushin' mah food away?! XD Mood swinging queen don't like that much.
He pushed her offer away. HE JUST PUSHED IT AWAY LIKE NO BIG DEAL. Okay, if he wanted to play it like this, he would get it. Insane bitch against insane bitch. She entered the den, not even bothering his lack of sanity. If he wanted to be hurt, then so be it. IF HE WANTED TO FUCKING STARVE, SO BE IT, BUT HE WOULD EAT THIS HARE EVEN IF IT MEANT DEATH.
She picked up the hare, tail high, one piercing yellow orb lightening the dark room with fire. She threw the darn thing at the male, actually trying to hit him. EAT IT OR DIE, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!
she screamed at him. Her scar was hurting again, this time because she was crying. When had this happened?
Judas felt something hit him in the side, so he perked his head up to find the hare she had offered. He was about to shrug it off until she started shouting. If what she wanted was to have a verbal fight, then she shall have it. And the other personality on the inside knew that. Everything just flowed out. "Yes. Give in to your hate."
"I don't want it! Don't you understand what's coming out of my mouth?! I don't care about food, about water! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!" That last part he wasn't sure was true. For a moment, it surprised him. But he was too busy huffing and puffing and shaking to give it any thought. "So go take it to someone who cares!"
The queen watched calmly, teethed gritted, at the shouting man who had lost respect for the one's that cared about him. Even an insane being like Malice knew how to give respect, even for her dead mother. He had no excuses for acting like this. They had accepted him, fed him, loved him. and now? Now he was shouting at his alpha that just wanted to help the fucking thing.
THEN WHY DID YOU COME HERE? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOU IF YOU DON'T EVEN CARE?!
She stepped closer to him, her head turned to the left, showing her scar clearly. Just look at what you've done to us in return...
She whispered, her eyes closed, tears streaming down her face. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR ACTING LIKE THIS!
She shouted between her sobs.
Judas flinched at her words. They cared about him? He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. Nothing did. Not even a squeak or a whine. He just couldn't make anything. He looked away, casting his glance elsewhere. For once, he was found speechless. Something began to fester inside. A feeling he had not felt. No...it couldn't be...Was this guilt?
Finally, he found his voice inside himself. "Ever since my fa..the one who raped my mother to give birth to me took me in, he made me hate wolves. I saw them as cruel, uncaring thieves. Stealing the lives of others. He tried to change me, to become him. I killed him soon after, and I vowed that I would kill all wolves." "No. Do not give in" warned the voice. But he ignored with only a snarl in reply to it, and went on, still avoiding her gaze. "I have killed so many..it became a normal thing. I grew not to care for their lives...and now I see it...I became the one thing I vowed I never would become. My father." For the first time in his life, he choked back a sob. The unfamiliar feeling felt odd. He did not want these feelings. Yet he had them, and there was nothing he could do. And then came two words he never thought he would say in his entire lifetime.
"I'm sorry."
Her sobs were the only thing that could be heard for a few moments. Perhaps her words had hit something inside of him. Perhaps he had attacked and she was dead now. No, she could still feel the sting of her scar filled with her tears. She wasn't dead, this was real. This was really a backstory from Judas.
she turned her head to him, one open eye and one squinting one, both filled with salty liquid one used to express sadness. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Everything made sense now. His insane behavior, his sudden outburst. They were almost one in the same, and for once in her life, she could relate to someone. They had killed, they had thought their actions were right. They were wrong. Oh, they were both very wrong.
She walked up to him, touched him with her forehead. It was time someone knew about what a terrible being she actually was. I'm sorry to hear that...
She said to the ground, watching as her tears hit the surface of the earth like bombs. I... I was jealous of my mother. I thought I could be a better leader...
She cried, not knowing why she was telling the story like this. I killed her, Judas, I killed an innocent being that gave birth to me. For some time, I thought my actions had been right. Until I met all of you...
She was sobbing uncontrollably now. I could've become just like you if I hadn't started this pack...
The feels are real, mygod. I think Judas' story is a bit more sad though ://
Her sobs were the only thing that could be heard for a few moments. Perhaps her words had hit something inside of him. Perhaps he had attacked and she was dead now. No, she could still feel the sting of her scar filled with her tears. She wasn't dead, this was real. This was really a backstory from Judas.
she turned her head to him, one open eye and one squinting one, both filled with salty liquid one used to express sadness. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Everything made sense now. His insane behavior, his sudden outburst. They were almost one in the same, and for once in her life, she could relate to someone. They had killed, they had thought their actions were right. They were wrong. Oh, they were both very wrong.
She walked up to him, touched him with her forehead. It was time someone knew about what a terrible being she actually was. I'm sorry to hear that...
She said to the ground, watching as her tears hit the surface of the earth like bombs. I... I was jealous of my mother. I thought I could be a better leader...
She cried, not knowing why she was telling the story like this. I killed her, Judas, I killed an innocent being that gave birth to me. For some time, I thought my actions had been right. Until I met all of you...
She was sobbing uncontrollably now. I could've become just like you if I hadn't started this pack...
The feels are real, mygod. I think Judas' story is a bit more sad though ://
I know. So many feels in this
Judas felt her touch foreheads together, and he did nothing. It felt comforting, and then she began her story. Inside every wolf, every coyote, there was a merciless killer. He could see that wolves weren't so different. Soon, she started sobbing again. Something drove him to comfort her as he nuzzled her with his nose, gently poking at her. He finally felt someone understood him, and it made him feel joyous. But something snatched him away, the old Judas was coming back. The tan hybrid withdrew, falling back to a dark corner. A low whine followed.
for once, Judas didn't jerk back when she touched him. Perhaps he could smell the thing that Issun had smelled, but she wasn't here for that. The reason why she was here was because she cared about the insane being. She could feel his pain, his grief, and now she understood. Her eyes opened wide as he nuzzled her, little comforting pokes. It wasn't for long though, because as soon as their moment of understanding was over, he stepped back.
Malice kept her face toward the ground, her hind legs feeling weak, and she sat down. She felt lonely now that their bodies weren't touching anymore, but she could fight that. She had done so ever since Cog had left. A low sound made her snap her head up, a scarred face looking at the pile of fur that had nestled itself into a corner. He almost looked cute this way, not like Judas at all. If only she could cheer him up somehow...
Judas glimpsed over his shoulder to see Malice sitting. What was she waiting for? "She is alone. Kill her!" He unleashed a low rumble in warning, both toward the voice but also to her, in case he were to snap again. Yet some part of him wanted her to stay, so he let the rumble waste away. His emotions were at war, tearing him apart inside. Only now did the scent wave around his nose. He knew that scent. Could this be why she was so kind? No, it didn't drive them to be kind. This must have been by her own will. It comforted him to know some one cared.
Finally, he found the will to go and pick up the hare, then went back to his little corner. He truly was hungry, but he just stared at it. "Is that all?" he asked, although in the voice there was a sense of hope. Hope that she did, so he wouldn't be so lonesome.
He growled, a low dangerous sound that made Malice jump up and scoot backwards a small distance. What was going on with the boy? Suddenly she remembered that she had heard talking while she was outside. She looked around confused, but there was no one other than the two of them there.
She returned her confused gaze back at the man, who was finally getting the food Malice had brought in the first place. A part of her wanted to say: HAH! I win. but she felt it would be inappropriate. She had to be glad that she had talked him out of it, but for the most part she was confused and angry. The reason for her anger was unknown, even to Malice, and so she just ended up more confused. He now talked, his voice sounding so loud compared to the silence they were surrounded with before. Yes, this was all... But Malice couldn't just leave him like that.
Yes.
She replied, but quickly added. But you can't get rid of me before you finish it.
It was a weird excuse for her to stay longer, yet she hoped it would work.
Judas would have rolled his eyes if he were in the mood to do so. One thing that hadn't changed in his mental picture of wolves was there stubbornness. The tan halfbreed grumbled to himself. There was no getting rid of her until he ate. Even if part of him wanted her to stay.
So he began eating, then slowly and gradually his pace quickened until he was scoffing it down, tearing into it while holding the carcass down with two forepaws. Tasting blood again, the instinct to kill was slowly rising again. So he stopped. He knew if he went ballistic again, one of them would take on injuries. "Happy?" he grumbled, having eaten half of it now.
The female watched as the male began eating. It was kind of awkward to just look at him the whole time, so she started looking around the den. It was smaller than the alpha den by just a bit. She found it cozier than her cold and lonely one, but she had to deal with it.
Once he was done eating, she smiled happily. He may have not acted like it, but Malice was sure he appreciated her actions. More than enough.
She replied, one squinting eye and one open eye looking happily at him. Now she could leave in peace. Well, if you need anything else, just call for me.
She said, not sure what to say to him now. Perhaps it was indeed time to leave now. So she got up, and with swaying hips like; DAAAAMN GUUURL, she left the den.
Ok
Judas watched her leave with a glare, knowing she wouldn't see. He appreciated the thought of bringing food, but it somewhat annoyed him. He didn't want these feelings, he didn't want to be cared for. He was a prisoner, and a traitor. Why not just kill him now? He had to know. And yet, he was afraid to know.
She told him to call if he needed anything, and he gave a half-hearted response.
"Yeah..Whatever." Judas lied on his forepaws, watching the wall. And in not a moment too son, the voice returned. And once more, he was driven into madness.