Wolf RPG

Burke made his way to Malice her pack after he told @Nemesis he was going to head out. After everything that happened he needed some time to think and maybe just a bit of distraction. He had not told his Beta where he was going but it might be so that he would not return home for the night. He didn't feel like talking to her, or anyone else. Kendra also needed some time to recover from what happened and him lurking around her wasn't helping either.

Dusk was settling around them and the large male reached the borders of the Hollow pack. He howled for @Malice. He was not sure why he was going to her, but it seemed that she would at least be somewhat of a distraction, and if he was going to be allowed in sooner or later he might as well start now. The moment he saw her he did not greet her but asked; "Can I sleep here?", without further explanation. He was not going to be able to sleep anyhow, but it the empty hole that Meldresi left inside of him that made him want to have someone around him.

It didn't take long before Malice greeted him, she looked a bit different but Burke wasn't commenting on it for now. Because he looked probably different too. "I asked if I could sleep here not to tell you my story," he spoke with a light scowl but then let out a long sigh and stepped closer. His docked tail up and his nose sniffing her a bit. Clearly something had happened to the large male, he was covered in scratches from the cougar. The one on his side was still a bit open a cracked with old blood. Others were less visible but the male looked pretty beaten. His pale eyes looked pretty beaten for once.

He might tell her more in the privacy of the den but not at the borders where everyone could listen into their conversation. He had never been at the hollow so he was rather curious how everything looked from the inside and once he knew where her den was, well then it would only be so much easier when she actually had those pups she wanted from him. Her pups--- A new son. Was she pregnant? His pale eyes then roamed over her with some curiosity, he couldn't really see or tell yet. "Are you?," he asked, the suggestion was probably enough. He wondered if she had told her pack already.

Burke looked at her, and could see her hesitation but he was not certain if it was about letting him in or if she was wondering something else. He was stubborn and he might tell her but not here, it was too private and he was not one to share things with others, after all when Meldresi died, his beloved Meldresi, he kept on working as an alpha not wanting to be weak for his pack. He never thought a moment about himself. Burke was quite selfless, incredibly so. He might be a jerk but he secretly did have a heart of gold. The male just didn't share a lot because he was uncertain about others, or he did not deem them good enough of a friend to share it. Him coming to Malice in the first place was a strange thing for him to experience but he decided to just follow Bullet/Osprey's words and go with it. He probably needed this himself.

"I am, " he only confirmed to her. After all it was a fact he could not deny. It was clear that the deep healing cuts were no marks of a wolf. And the other small cuts weren't either. The male stood before her. Burke's pale eyes caught the nod, and even though it might not be a guarantee but it was at least something. It also told him that Malice had yet to tell her pack. Burke had peace with that, after all he did not want to scream it of the rooftops either, but it was good to know with one son dead that he might have others in the making, as harsh as that sounded. He was still a male and liked to further his bloodline. He did not think much about love. With Meldresi it had been more of an agreement in the beginning. Only later he started to grow closer to her.

He followed Malice into her territory, darkness falling over them. Burke walked without fear. He was used to the darkness and he actually preferred it. He glanced to the side at Malice for a moment, staying quiet. Somehow he felt like wildly talking was out of order. She felt doubtful, and instead Burke walked with his own natural confidence. He might be wounded and run into an ambush, though he had the feeling, as his appearance was so unexpected that there wouldn't be trickery involved. Still it haunted through his mind. His mind taking in the scenery. Only once they would be in the privacy of her den he might be tempted to say more. So for now he would just study Malice and her behavior as well as the surroundings.

Burke walked with her as she guided him to the forest. The male watched her as she was startled by herself. Burke was not sure what was wrong with her, though it could have something to do with him being in her territory. She was not really that secure on her feet in general around him, he realized. The male eyed at the den when they came to it. Instead of guiding him inside of it she stood there almost submissively next to him, in his eyes. Burke looked at her with a questioning gaze but then gotten inside of the den.

He was a large male but he kind of didn't mind the snug fit. "Are you coming in too? Or are you actually giving me your den? Seriously Malice, get your ass inside," he stated from inside the den where he was laying down. Burke's wound on his ribs against the side of the wall. The male did not come here to take over her den, he could have found one outside of her territory easily. Duh. The male kind of came here for her, but she didn't seem to see that. He needed someone around him to keep him sane. He had Meldresi before but now he hadn't so he had to result to other matters.

Burke watched her come in, at least he saw some form of a shape come in at least. The male laid down, quite royally so. Burke had always been quite fluffy because of his alaskan coat. And even though it was spring already he would always keep somewhat of a thick fur, which made him basically perfect cuddling material. The male noticed that she stayed away from him a bit, only leaning against him where she couldn't avoid it. She was so careful with him.

She placed her head on her paws, while Burke's eyes adjusted. She spoke his name while he watched her. "Stretching huh? Why are you so nervous around me?," he asked, his voice calm. It was just interesting to him how she was so guarded, maybe because he was guarded. She never really showed the real Malice to him, not really. At least that was his idea about it. Somehow that made him more interested in her? What was she really thinking, what she really accepting this because she was afraid of him.

Burke nose moved through her ear and then gently grabbed her scruff, basically pulling her against him. It might be weird for her to be even grabbed right there. "I need it," he stated, which was mostly the only thing he was going to say about it. He had not realized how much he had missed having someone next to him at night. Sure his children had been with him before sleeping in a happy pile but after Pietro died Kendra moved to her caves and he had been all alone.

Burke laid by Malice side, reliving what he had when Meldresi laid against him. That was usually how it went, Meldresi snuggling against him. The male closed his eyes and tried to picture her, but it had been so long. He could not really remember? Plus Malice was bigger than Meldresi. Burke opened his eyes and looked to the side. "It is more than that," he spoke to her, but if she was going to make an excuse she did not seem ready to talk to him about that yet, and he was not going to push her, she was not pushing him either after all.

Burke some how felt a bit more complete with a female next to him, more balanced. Malice was snuggled against him, and that fact made him feel wanted. Even he liked to be wanted some times. Burke lifted his head a bit and licked over the top of her head. It had been completely on automatic pilot because he would usually do that when Meldresi was still asleep next to him. He froze a bit but soon relaxed, well, it seemed he really needed this. "My youngest son died," he suddenly spoke. "My mate died when they were a month old and now it is just me and my daughter Kendra. I guess it just feel like loosing her all over again, yet only a bit worse because Pietro is one now too," his voice sounding surprisingly calm.

Burke had spoke about Pietro and felt the dread inside of him, though the male was pretty sure his outer exterior was still stoic, he had not cried again. He had not cried about Meldresi either, and now with this son he could not cry. He was not a monster that he knew, but he could not let himself cry. He realized that he called himself a therapist but he could not really therapist for himself. How strange. The male's ears perked up at her prayer that sounded muffled. To who was she praying? Mephala? Another god? This interested him a bit and in return that interest made his sad feelings be pushed away.

Burke looked at the female with a skeptical gaze. Her eyes lined with tears as she spoke. She was awfully emotional but then again he could remember Meldresi having some of those episodes too, when she was carrying her young. Though she did gave him a compliment about being strong. He raised his muzzle a bit though then lowered it. It was not something to be proud of, he realized. Maybe for once listening to his own therapisting self. He slowly shook his head. A lot of wolves would think that they are strong when they show no emotion, but maybe he was not that strong. Because he did not dare to cry or show what he was feeling, and why not? Because others would think it as weak, but wouldn't it be strong if he could show his emotions.

Burke had been holding his feelings to himself from the beginning of life really, basically from the moment he had bitten off his tail. How everyone admired him for it, while he himself had not been happy with it at all. Now he saw it as his trademark and kind of liked his look but it had taken some adjustments before he thought like that. "It has been tough," he deadpanned. Truly no emotion. Was he really that dead inside, no he was not. He showed those feelings to Meldresi, but then she died and he shut himself off again. Only just now he had licked Malice which was at least some form of affection. He remembers Osprey's words, how he would get hit by a ton of feelings and hope that he would get out from under it. He was kind of feeling that pressure of all those emotions itching to get out. He cleared his throat. "I'm... Not that good with the feelings thing," he spoke, though on the contrary he was very passionate about his pack and selfless too.

His pale eyes settled on her. He did not believe in love. It had not happened to him before he had met Meldresi, and with her he had been sort of admiring her. With Malice their dynamic was totally different, really different. Yet, that was what made it refreshing to him. He knew Pietro was at peace, that was not what he was thinking about. He believed he is with his mother. Burke just don't understand why it kept happening to him. He had been so selfless, always there for each member and still when he had himself on the background of life, keeping his emotions at bay he had a son who hated him, a loving wife that died and now also a son that died too. Life had always been unfair, even before coming here, though being here did gave him a family, and loved ones. Seeing that he never really grown attached to other wolves before coming to these lands. Maybe he was just old and was letting his guard down.

His eye still on Malice, realizing he had been looking at her while he had been in thought. Her little nips and licks were nice. Slowly he placed his head down on his own paws. All these thoughts running through his mind. Maybe he should start to deal with all those feelings for once. Then he suddenly realized something and snapped his head up. "Wait.. what did you say? You are worried about me?," he asked. Not sure why she would be even worried about him in the first place.

Burke did not know the answer to her question. What was he doing to himself? Living, and doing his duties as an alpha. Sure, he was not allowing much personal feelings to disturb that but he was fine with it, at least, he thought so. He didn't know what else to do than to just work through it. Quite literally. He would only work, for the most part. What Burke didn't know was that he was somewhat idolized by Malice, and that her vision of him might be changing soon.

"And that is where you are wrong. I do not burst. I work through it by doing other tasks. I know it is not ideal but I can't really be a therapist or advisor for myself," he pointed out. "Though there was another female, a good friend, though I meet her only scarcely from time to time. She let me yell as loud as I could and that seemed to help, though for me, here it is too crowded. I don't need anyone to hear that," he spoke with that calm tone, always so reserved. Always so thoughtful of his next move. Then Malice became Malice again. She apologized for something, but Burke did not know what. He looked at her with a questioning gaze. Even she didn't seem certain about what she apologized for.

Once again, she seemed so jumpy around him, like she thought he was going to beat her to a pulp for saying something out of line. He looked at her with his pale blue eyes, almost grey in this light. The male looked closely at her. He couldn't figure her out, why she would react in a certain away. She was not like any of the females he had ever met, so outspoken and yet.... submissive towards him? He couldn't really place it, because she was not that submissive either. "It is just.... how I work...," he stated then. And the pathetic thing was that none of his pack mates seemed to see what she was seeing. None really asked, yet maybe they didn't dare to, because they were afraid. He was not that scary was he?

Burke looked to the side at Malice and let his his ears fall back. If he was working hard enough then he would be too occupied to feel any pain. He was not really tempted to feel that pain, though unconsciously it was always there in the background. He was old. He had six ears of life and they had not been easy but he never wanted that out of life. Still, he could not say he was completely unhappy. He just... dealt with things instead of feeling them. He let out a soft sigh in answer, not really knowing what to say for once. Then he just decided to own up for it. "Yes," he spoke. Yet, before he had Meldresi. They told each other a lot, yet never really about these things. Strange.

"Why would I change myself. I am not unhappy. Now it is just not a fun time having my son being murdered by a cat. You start questioning yourself and I never question myself," he stated to her. He did have an air of confidence. He did not really want to see his problem, but he should deal with it eventually. Yet, ever since he left his father's pack he had dealt with hardships, even before that. "I am not going to blabber about my feelings. That won't do any good," he huffed. "Not against every pack mate. They need me to be their leader. The alpha might have more status and act all high and mighty, but what most don't even realize is that by being an alpha is that you are in charge and responsible for what happens, or how much food there is. If I am not in control of myself how can I expect my members to follow me?," he spoke to her. "It is just that Meldresi is gone now. She knew and I could tell her," he excused. She had been his equal after all. Maybe he did need a new mate, one to balance him out and one to lead with him.

Burke looked at Malice as she gave him a bit of a speech, though it was clear that it was much needed. After all he had been rather neglecting his own feelings for a long time. "Touché," he spoke to her, using his own words against him. She did make a point and maybe when the time was right the would tell it to someone he was closer with. The male was thinking of who in the pack he should tell. He rather had it in a private setting like this rather than out in the open.

The male leaned against her and quirked up his lips a bit. "Don't tell me you have grown to care for me now," he spoke with a hum on his lips, teasing her, that was the idea. He did not seek any real confession. The large male licked his lips and placed his head down again. "You want to help me? How? By listening or?," he asked. He was curious what she would say because maybe he could use that technique himself.

Burke smiled a bit at her. Because how could he even be mad. He could be grumpy about it, but Burke was pretty sure that it would be good for him if he had someone to listen to him and one that he would feel comfortable talking too, if only he would realize that having this kind of relationship with another alpha didn't work like that.

He glanced to the side at her. "Alright alright," he stated and then placed his head down again. "Though I did tell you enough for now." Burke was pretty firm about that. How could he not? He was not an open wolf, so having shared what he had shared before was more than enough for him. He closed his eyes. "Goodnight Malice."