@Osprey <3 backdated to before the swarm on the day of Seana's visit. (:
They left together, although Aria wasn't quite sure why Osprey had come. She assumed it had something to do with herself, which made her feel even worse. She walked beside the older Gamma with her tail flicking anxiously and lowly behind her. Her head was raised as proudly as it usually was, but her ears were stuck half-raised.
"You did not have to leave," she told her quietly, glancing at the larger female with large white eyes. She turned back to the ground in front of her, walking forward still.
"Seana appears to trust you," she adds.
"That's a recent development," Osprey replied, smiling encouragingly at the young leader and choosing to ignore the remark about not having to leave. "There was a time, when we could not stand each other at all - and I think I was one of the reasons she left to found her own pack in the first place," she explained. There was sort of a truce between them now, but their relationship wasn't as close or as cordial as it was between Saena and Lasher.
"Saena is my grand-niece, but she disowned all of her family, when they either died or left one by one. She took it personally, when I had to leave the pack for a while, and never warmed up to me. Can't say that I was easy either," she shrugged. "If that makes you feel any better - I had just as a good reason to leave as you did. Lasher always has been a more trustworthy friend to her than the wayward aunt."
The girl nods as they go, listening and absorbing at least half of what the woman is telling her. It's not that she doesn't care, she's frustrated. "Lasher is a good man," she replies, tuning more fully in at the last part. "I can see why she'd be more comfortable with him," she adds, looking at Osprey with a flick of her ears. "Well-- thank you then, Osprey," she says, nosing the gray woman with her black nose, giving her a small smile.
"I just wish I could've stayed. I'm not learning anything but sitting on the sidelines and being told bits and pieces," she tells the other, her tail flicking behind her. "Not that it's truly any of my business, I suppose, but still,"
"Don't take it to the heart too much," Osprey said and yawned, "you don't argue with Saena. She can be quite stubborn and at her current situation... she is quite wary about anyone, who does not belong to her imediate family." In other words - her resolve was like steel and it was pointless to argue. And the elder had to agree that she would act the same had their places been reversed.
"And you will have plenty of time and opportunities to learn later," she smiled at the girl. "If I can help with any of the leader stuff you are uncertain or curious about - ask right away."
"I would never judge someone for being cautious," the girl replies, glancing to Osprey. "I'm sure she's going through a lot."
Aria continues to walk beside the woman, her tail waving back and forth. She smiles, looking down at her feet before she focuses back to the land in front of them. "Thank you, it means a lot," she says. "I guess I just feel like I need to be a part of some situations to truly understand them though-- you know?"
"And you are very right about it too," Osprey agreed that in order to learn about being a good leader you either needed to have years of experience living in a pack, be born with such a talent or... learn. It was good if one possessed all three things together, though history knew several exceptions of these rules. A vagrant claiming the throne and forcing the alpha into exile, an unassuming and the least likely wolf of the pack, taking the action, when it was the most needed. And a promising king going rotten. Like her brother Tyrannus had.
"What would you have wanted to find out more about this situation?" she asked.
"Well," Aria begins slowly, her head dipping slightly as she spoke. "It'd be nice to know what's going on around us. If I'm in the dark I won't be useful in any situation," she explains, her tail waving. "I mostly just want to know how Lasher handles it. How should I react to different things? I should know this stuff," she tells the other. Her white eyes look up to the sky, squinting at the sun as a handful of white clouds passed over it.
"In my experience, worrying about the stuff that "you should have known", but did not, never helps," Osprey said, though lack of confidence had never been much of a problem to her. She had ploughed through her life holding to and doing the stuff she knew very well and only rarely stepped out of her comfort zone. Then again, she had been a yearling once and experienced a phase, when she had felt all too grown up and felt bad for not knowing things that had been obvious to others. Had it not taken her a while to realize that admitting that you did not know was the key of learning and growing, she wouldn't be able to relate to Aria now.
"Most of the time we learn from our own mistakes and not from the ones others make," she continued, "and though Lasher might give you great advice, it is more important that you find a way that works for you and feels right. And if you mess up... well, that's why there will be three others to help you sort it out."
Her tail wags, and she nods to Osprey.
"Right," she replies, "
I appreciate that." She sniffs at the ground curiously for a moment, breathing in the scents around them. She then glanced to the other woman, thinking for a second before she turns her attention back in front of her.
"I'll learn," she says,
"I'll get better."
yikes, sorry this is short
"That's the best attitude to begin with," Osprey praised the girl and hoped that she had manage to alleviate at least some of the worries she had had before. A comfortable silence fell between them, as they walked onwards - the elder thinking about nothing - and Aria probably lost in her own thoughts - when the gray she-wolf stopped suddenly, arching her back and wincing, as if she was in pain. Which she was - not the horrible, unbearable sort, uncomfortable - definitely. It took a minute or two to pass (though it felt a lot longer) and she exhaled, returning to a normal position and finishing with a good shake of her coat. "'tis okay," she said, "happens now and then."
Osprey suddenly fell, her back aching-- it seemed-- and winced before letting up. She reassured the young Alpha that she was okay, but Aria shook her head violently. "Osprey-- n-no! That's not okay. Your back shouldn't do that... Have you talked to Blue? Or Eilidh? They can figure out what's wrong," she almost began to ramble, it fell just short of such a name. Worries flooded through her mind as she searched through possible problems. Not once did the poor girl think of the fact that Osprey might be pregnant-- she'd long forgotten about the conversation they'd had weeks prior.
Aria's reaction took Osprey by surprise and, while she listened to the girl's flow of words, she herself thought - who between us is the mother-to-be after all? For some reason she felt like she had not taken her state seriously enough - funny thing to feel, when a younger person scolds you.
"That was just a kick," she explained, once she was sure that the young alpha had taken her time to take a deep breath and calm down a little. "I mean, the kids have their fun of kicking my inner organs around. Can't say that it is the most pleasant feeling in the world," she shrugged and smiled.
"Oh... Right-- sorry I completely forgot you were pregnant," she says, shaking her head with embarressment. Moron. She smiles gently though, glancing to Osprey's stomach before looking at her face. "I guess that wouldn't be very pleasant but-- isn't it a wonderful thing? Having children?" she asks her, her tail beginning to wag excitedly behind her.
"Uncomfortable and heavy, not to mention them moving and causing turmoil at times, but great nonetheless," Osprey replied truthfully, realizing that Aria had been the first to ask her, how she really felt about the whole ordeal. There were good days and ones that weren't so great, but this experience was nowhere as hard as it had been last year. She had not got sick for the start and therefore had hope that this would continue to be that way.
"I am looking forward to seeing those faces for the first time. And also finding out, which ones are Dante's and which are mine," she added with a chuckle. "He is a handsome guy without doubt, but I hope that there will be at least one, who will be remotely similar to me."
The girl frowns at the mention of sickness, but is not surprised in the slightest. That's how pregnancy works-- that's how it's always worked. Somehow though, it bothers her that such a kind and wise woman such as Osprey had been burdened with such side-effects. As Osprey continues, her tail begins to wag with excitement. Puppies in Donnelaith again... the thought made her heart pound. She thought briefly to what Lasher had told her-- about being garuntueed children-- and her body ran hot. She shoved the thoughts away best she could, trying to focus on Osprey once again.
"They will be lovely-- you and Dante are both rather handsome," she says, nudging the woman gently. "I suppose it's a bit early-- but do you have any names in mind?" she asks, smiling eagerly.
Osprey laughed and said: "Thank you! I can agree on Dante's good looks, but you have been a bit too generous regarding me." She had never considered herself pretty and she was nowhere near Aria's league. But it never hurt to hear a compliment.
"Names... no, I don't think we have discussed them. Though my brother - Peregrine - suggested naming one of the kids after him. I was so opposed to, when he named one of his daughters Osprey Jr. that he wanted to let me know that he did not have anything against if I chose to use his name," Osprey was sure that this year's litter would go without the naming them after relatives. Maybe next year, if she felt nostalgic.
"I sort of like, how Perry and his mate Fox deal with naming children - when they are a bit more grown up and show a bit more personality. I think you can't miss then," she mused out loud and looked at Aria, encouraging her to give her suggestions on the matter.
The girl listens quietly as Osprey shares her families naming history, and finds she disagrees wholly with the situation. Naming after other people? "Perhaps this is narrow-minded-- but that sounds like a recipe for disappointment," she shares, somewhat bluntly. Sure, this Peregrine might had been a wonderful wolf and grand in all his ways-- but what happens when 'Perry Jr.' fucks up later in life and becomes the family tragedy? Peregrine probably wouldn't have appreciated it then.
"I think that's a brilliant idea. Personalities do make the name fit," she tells the other with a smile. "But I've always been a fan of unique names. Not after anyone or anything, just a name. My sisters and I were not named after anything specific-- my father simply liked the names. Aria, Kiara and Lea," she adds the last part mostly for an example, in case her explanation had been less than satisfactory.
"I don't remember where I'd heard the name before-- but I'd always liked the name Colin."
"My thoughts exactly!" Osprey exclaimed, when Aria shared the opinion that naming children after relatives was not a very good idea. At least - not the living ones. She had no idea of what had happened to Osprey Jr. eventually, but she knew that her niece had been quite troubled girl. Her fate probably would not have changed much, had her name been different, but still... the current name-bearer was very sure that she would not continue the Osprey-tradition anytime soon.
"My mom had a unique name - March Owl," Osprey added after hearing, what Aria had to say on the matter of names and, how her siblings had been named. The mother-to-be noted down that Lea was a very pretty name. "Her siblings coincidentally were Peregrine and Osprey," she furrowed her brow, trying to recall, if there had been a fourth one. She was pretty sure that there had, but his name had escaped her memory. And her mother had never been fond of talking about her ancestry anyway. She had disowned them the same way they had left her one by one.
The girl's ears perk. "Really? Were you named after them, then?" she asks, her head tilting gently to the side. "And March Owl is a beautiful name..." she adds, smiling to her feet as the went. Having the last name January herself, it was almost obvious why the pale girl would be fond of being named after a month. The alpha dips her head to the ground and sniffs quietly at it. No wolves nearby, no prey nearby-- pity. She raises her head back up and continues to move through the grass with the older woman, her tail waving behind her.
"Heh, yes, we were. Not the most original train of thought, in my opinion, but I approve of the gest. MO was very close with my uncle Osprey, before he disappeared. And probably naming Peregrine... well, Peregrine was her way of forgiving her sister that she had left with the rest of her family," that was Osprey's theory, which could be entirely wrong, knowing the fact that her mother was not exactly the easily-forgiving kind. In the bigger picture what mattered was not the truth, but the story. And the tale of coming to terms with the loss and letting go was a lot more compelling than the one, where you held the grudge for a lifetime.
"I always thought it hilarous," she said. "We called her MO for short. And the funny thing was that with all of the encyclopedic knowledge about bird species, she never knew, what the true March Owl looked like. Or, whether it existed for that matter."
Aria giggles-- a girly one that she usually hides away. It's child-sounding and giddy, and it takes an edge off of her maturity. She doesn't appear to care, but it bothers her a good bit. It makes her feel young and unfit for her rank-- so she dials it back and pulls her lips into a tight smile, but makes no sound. "To be fair, I've never heard of a March Owl either," she says, roping her facade together again. "But that is pretty funny-- perhaps her mother knew of it?" she suggests, her head tilting to the side.
Osprey watched, how the little girl that still resided somewhere in Aria's heart resurfaced, changing the serious features and giving her voice a natural, truer edge. It lasted just seconds and then the young leader seemed to remember something and composed herself quickly. The elder wondered, if she should make any comment on this, but decided not to, fearing to insult the girl.
"Maybe... or it was a completely made up name," Osprey shrugged, returning to the subject of their conversation. "We will never find out, I guess."
"I suppose not," Aria says quietly, her gaze falling to the ground. Her ears perk and she glances to Osprey quickly, a small smile forming on her lips.
"Thank you, Osprey. I needed this walk," she tells the elder, nudging her shoulder with her nose kindly.
sorry for the length! we can wrap this up soon if you'd like <3 i'm open to a new one with the pups
"No problem," Osprey replied, feeling that after this very like heart-to-heart talk she had learned a little more about Aria and had found out the girl to be quite like-able. "Don't be afraid to ask for help, if you need one," she said, repeating herself. "That's what we are here for."