Wolf RPG

deirdre lay in a heap at the forests center, entangled in all matters of earth--root, thorn, soil, and branch--simply breathing. she listened to the wind, listened for the voice of her father, but she heard it not. the world was still. around her there were birds that settled into a sleep on the tree surrounding her, and some rested even on the earth near her. the loss of her father was the worst devastation she had ever experienced; for the earth would return, but her father would not. and with him went emaleth, who lived and breathed still but had gone, too, and asked not to be followed. deirdre would not, could not, leave donnelaith; she felt capable of very little, and though she loved and was surrounded by love, she felt terribly alone. only eilidh surely knew of her pain and felt the acute and unbearable sting of it... but deirdre had not thought to seek her out. the truth of it was, she could hardly think at all. after her fathers last breath, even her mind had abandoned her for a time. that was not to say she had gone crazy--for she was very much sane. she simply was not present. and up until now, she could not have been found.

she felt years older. though she rest in the earth herself, it was a strange area indeed she rest in; donnelaith had itself a new faerie circle. hawthornes surrounded her--witches of olde, she felt she had once heard--and she blinked tiredly at her surroundings. she roused, and her heart hurt. the birds around her started, though only looked to her. deirdre had never harmed them before, and in fact had only sought to aid these avian creatures. their nearness was a small comfort, but 'twas not enough. deirdre was not sure if anything would ever be as sweet as once things had been, and rest her head morosely upon her forelegs.

Strong silver paws picked over the riverbank, and her muzzle was low and searching. She had found, to her tired happiness, the beginnings of a new crop of dock leaves right here along the river. Lucani had gently cleared out hints of devouring weeds from around them, and saw with a splash from the river that the soil was damp. She trusted fully that the wolves of Donnelaith would not damage the dock leaves, but instead let them grow. This was promising.

In her search for further growth, Lucani found Deirdre, who despite not knowing her well had in fact become the soul she'd grown closest to in the redwood forest. It was so curious now to look upon this beautiful young woman and remember her as a puppy, but her charming exterior was not on Lucani's mind: her heart went out to this sad, sad figure.

Hello my young druid, she said softly, and approached quietly so not to disturb the orphan and her birds. It seems you have some avian company.

the sound of another approaching only caused her ears to flick absently. it was only the voice that caused her eyes to draw upwards, and when she saw lucani she looked away, utterly ashamed of herself for a moment. for she did not blame the medic for the failure of saving their father, but she did blame herself.

i must have done something wrong, only her voice spoke of how very worn she felt, for somehow she had retained her splendor. it seemed this was the only thing she would keep, as she lost so many other things, and though her beauty grew only greater it was nothing to what she would come to lose, and what she already had lost! her emerald eyes flit to the handsome lucani, who she had swiftly come to love, and she sighed. emaleth has gone. she was the witch with the emerald, her fathers inevitable successor, and she suffered alone so she would not burden anyone. that she had shared anything at all with lucani lifted some small weight off of her, yet she felt guilty for it. i am sorry... she had failed, hadn't she? her father was gone.

Deirdre was too young. Too young and too feeling. It felt wrong and sad to think that she might learn the path of stoicism simply to protect herself from the hurt that came from loss after loss after loss. Lucani could not imagine Deirdre as a stoic, and a Deirdre who felt a wound and didn't react at all simply wasn't Deirdre. To hold fast to her caring identity, which was special and beautiful, the girl had to let herself feel this.

Despite her quiet confidence, Lucani was hesitant about all of this. Because despite her affection for Deirdre's family she didn't truly know it and certainly wasn't a part of it. She had no clue about the girl's support network, so "i'm here for you" might have little meaning.

So she decided to simply listen. The grey wolf sat down, close. I'm sorry too, she said genuinely. But Deirdre... why do you think you've done something wrong?

deirdre looked to lucani as the question came. he was sick--i could do nothing for it. there should have been something... a spell she had missed, a prayer she did not say. never again would deirdre dawdle, though truly deirdre was so present and persistent that none could say she did so now.

deirdre looked to the trees for a moment. she sucked in a breath as a wind played with her furs and she closed her eyes. he is still here, just not in body, she reminded herself with a sigh, but it is so different. i... she wished for the comforting touch of him, then. his wise words. she remembered how he had spoken of tachyon, and of the gods and the spirits, and her heart seized in her chest.

As special as Deirdre was — to her, to Donnelaith, to the wider world — Lucani had seen this before. Guilt at someone's death, guilt that more could not be done. Or rather, that it wasn't done.

At her wretched sorrow, Lucani could not help herself — she moved her tall form forward to offer Deirdre physical comfort, and leaned her muzzle very gently on the snowy wolf's head. It is different, she agreed quietly. And it is very, very difficult to stop blaming yourself. That will be a challenge, but I know you can do it.

deirdre leant into the touch; she was comfortable with lucani, and openly loved the woman as swiftly as she had come to feel for skellige. the emotions were innocent yet confusing to her. one so young could scarcely know what attraction was, but 'twas innocent enough for a youth to consider those that they loved their own and covet a person.

she sighed and nuzzled lucani lightly, the gesture one of thanks. i am selfish for wishing he was living, still. he was in pain. his cough... it was a wretched thing. the spirits knew it was his time, they wished to take away his pain... the trees rustled with the wind they brought, a comforting yes, yes. she placed her head back upon her forelegs, her emerald eyes closing for a moment of quiet reflection.

Lucani had deep feelings for the young girl, intensified as they embraced, but she lacked any label for those feelings. So young was Deirdre, despite her appearance, Lucani didn't dare to consider that she might want her the way she wanted Aria, but nor did she feel motherly towards her. Or even sisterly. Theirs was a friendship, and about that she could be absolutely sure and unashamed.

Even when spirits play a part, the act of passing away is always very visceral, and that is always difficult to watch. Especially when there's pain. Lucani didn't believe in spirits, but if Deirdre believed in them then she respected the concept very much. Let yourself mourn — let yourself feel everything you're feeling, even if it feels wrong to you. But after a time, you must ask yourself to cast off your regrets and look forward instead. Your father will meet you there, albeit not in his physical form.

deirdre simply listened to the comforting words of her would-be mentor, though the processing of them was truly slow. part of it was that she did not wish to accept things as they stood, and the other part of it was attributed to her simple exhaustion on the matter. to look forward was something she wished to do, but it was difficult--felt like behaving as though all was well when in fact, lasher was gone, how could anything be well, was wrong. but she understood on some level that such a thing was not wrong, but necessary. the birds still sang, lamenting with the cub, and the beat of the insects wing was still to be heard.

deirdre felt her father, then, in a gentle wind. it was a coaxing little touch, and the xi responded to it, and lucani's eloquent words, with a frail sigh. might we try and find some flowers? she looked away from lucani, willing the subject to change for a time; her wound was open, and yet... i want to look forward. she would have it heal.

Moved but unmoving, Lucani looked down at Deirdre in silence, watching her words play across her young face. The sun was shining in the girl's white fur, almost making it glitter. The birds, meanwhile, seemed to be here for Deirdre herself, who seemed so comfortable with them it was as if they were friends. What an extraordinary girl.

At the sheer sweetness of what was said next, Lucani could only smile. Yes, she purred. That sounds marvellous.

deirdre smiled thinly at the others own expression of joy, though there was truly little heart in it. still, to have evoked the positive emotion in lucani did warm her to the core, and she rose to slide alongside the healer. do you know of flowers that can heal?

Lucani bent to give the slightest nuzzle to the little one's crown. Yes. Weeds tended to be preferable to Medics looking for remedies, but flowers could be too. I'm hoping we'll get some water violets around here soon. They grow by slow-moving water, and can be a remedy for nausea or headaches, but they're also often thought to bring about a relaxed state to those feeling anxious.

when do they come? she queried, wondering if the herbs were present only within the summer, or if they arrived for the spring and stayed until summers end. the locusts had brought confusion to natures clock, but it resumed and brought the world back to life as it would, at its own pace. she returned the others gesture, nosing her lightly--she was truly glad for her company, though her heart ached.

The best time for seeing them was in the months eaten by famine, she admitted. But with all this regrowth, we may yet spot some by the riverside. Lucani didn't just say it to soothe. She truly believed that water violets could come to Donnelaith — and that Deirdre would be the first to see them.

deirdre was hopeful; her father surely would have guided the herbs to grow in his passing, knowing what was needed. with his loss, he would make all right within donnelaith that he could. the spirits would help earth grow again, and she hoped that their magick had been done to the violets. shall we go and see for ourselves? she suggested, her optimism--even despite the darkness she had seen--breaking through her tones.

Her logical instinct gave her pause. Lucani had trekked much of Donnelaith recently and caught neither scent nor sight of the coveted violets. Would they have sprung up so quickly, or been hidden so intently...?

But Donnelaith encouraged a belief in magic like no others had before. Let's, she agreed gently.

though it was unlikely they would find what they sought this day, perhaps they would at the very least see signs of its coming. life was just beginning to return after death had taken so much of it. deirdre led the way to the nearest riverbed that she knew of, and glanced to lucani who would sooner see evidence of such a thing than she did, not knowing the scent or the evidence of the herbs as well as lucani surely would.

They walked in silence to the river, and Lucani felt it was a sweet silence. Crisp and kind and welcome.

When they reached the water, Deirdre looked to Lucani, and in that moment the older woman saw something peeking out from a clump of short weeds. She frowned. Impossible... she murmured. Tiny white and purple flowers stretched from green stalks. A water violet. But they were exceptionally rare, and Lucani hadn't expected them so soon and so near... life didn't work like this...

lucani was the first to witness them, and when deirdre beheld them her heart lept. they were a beautiful sight, undoubtedly, and deirdre gazed toward the handsome medicine woman to see what she thought of this. the woman was beside herself with awe, and at the whispered words, deirdre responded, nothing is impossible, with a genuinely warm smile; why, before them was proof of this! and deirdre moved toward the flowers to speak with them, to welcome them back to their homes! they were alive, swaying in the wind, and the sweet scent of them invigorated her. lucani told her more of the water violets, and deirdre listened raptly to her, laying herself beside the flowers for the lesson. well after nightfall, deirdre learned from lucani--of more than simply these violets--and deirdre, under the watchful eye of lucani, soon fell to a sleep filled at last with flowers and their sighs in the wind, rather than the terrible rasping cough of her father before death.