Wolf RPG

This was a pilgrimage. A short one, but a pilgrimage all the same. She had decided that she would return to the river where Eshamun had found her, to look upon the place where her eyes had first seen true light. She had been reborn in this place and it was much like a mother's den. Her steps were slow and careful as she sought it out, wanting to find the exact place. She would pray here, for herself and for her tribe. Her mind had been muddled of late, turned by the bitter selfishness of wanting to keep Eshamun's children from the Many Armed God. Though the fog was slowly clearing, she wanted it gone now. She was finally, finally, begining to see the light again, she thought.

Still, there were shadows in her mind. Doubts in her heart. It shamed her, burned her soul to doubt her God. So she desired to come here, to gather her thoughts and herself. She would never dream to turn her back on Molech, for that would be turning her back to fact for fiction. She was not blind and she would not willfully be blind. Molech was light, Molech was God. It was her where the problem resided. Her mortal inadiqusies that made her doubt and long and feel selfish. Such was the sin of mortals.

So she was searching for the bend in the river where she had caught her last meal in the dark. Her head craned and her eyes searched the trees and the places nearby until she found the place. She stared at the dark and silent stream, walked to where she had lay with her fish, devoid of hope and life. She turned her eyes to where Eshamun had approached from and smiled. She dipped her head in prayer, thanking Molech.

Sudden emotion seized her, remembering where she had been as she lay here, how she had contemplated ending her life. Tears leaked from her closed eyes and dripped down her muzzle. Molech was good to her, had always been good to her. She had been saved, again and again. She was not unaware of her surroundings but she was greatly absorbed in her prayer, and her emotions for her God.

asherah did not know it, but the ekar-aji followed her. eshamun did not think herself graceful in this advanced state of pregnancy, but the acolyte did not turn to see her. lost in a reverie, eshamun decided, ears cupped forward with worry that the girl was deserting them. the canaanite could not force those to stay who did not wish to be among them, but it would go harshly for asherah indeed if that was what she intended to do. 

the young wolfess led her to the place where they had first met, and eshamun's lips curved in a smile at the memory. so fervent asherah had been! so devoted to the eight-armed one, even when she did not know molech's very name. her zeal had been a boon to them, a light to the copse, and eshamun knew she must turn asherah's path back to the malkaria if she was able.

the scent of salt tears hung in the air suddenly, and the tophet-dweller realized that the young one wept. she held back only a moment before moving toward asherah, reaching out to touch the other's cheek with a gentle sound of affection.

Much like a vision of the night her eyes had been opened, Asherah felt a warm touch on her cheek and heard a noise of affection. For one brief moment she wondered if Molech had come to her, yet when her eyes opened she saw her Sister and knew the Many Armed God had sent Eshamun. She smiled at her sister, unaware of the fear that Eshamun had. Inwardly she marveled that Molech would be so attuned to her needs that comfort would be sent to her before she had even though to ask for it. Molech was good to her.

"Eshamun." She said softly, reaching to nuzzle her very pregnant sister. "I am sorry if I frightened you, Sister. I was simply overcome with joy at all my blessings since you showed me the light of Molech." She sighed heavily, glancing towards the stream. "I must admit, since you told me of the fate of your litter...my mind has been dark with doubts and selfish thoughts. I have been ashamed of myself, to question Our God who has given me so much. Yet," She glanced towards Eshamun's large belly, a soft smile on her face. "I so wanted to see your children, to teach them the Word. They are not mine...but they are that of the Malkaria, and so they are family."

She shook her head gently, sad eyes turning to Eshamun's. "And I think, who am I to question the God who gave those babe's their lives? Who am I to say no if Molech wants them now rather than later. They will be at Molech's side, never knowing the world of nonbelievers and pain." She nodded her head and leaned toward Eshamun to nuzzle her again. "I think I have found my peace with it, for Molech has been kind yet again. The Many Armed God has allowed me my doubts and shown me the light. For your children will never know pain, Sister. They will never know fear or heartbreak or hunger. They will never have to see a loved one die, or suffer, nor make a choice that hurts them."

She paused, thinking quietly. "I have known much suffering in my life, have seen too much pain. My heart smiles to know your children will never know what I know. They will see the light before their eyes have ever opened. They will know Molech's embrace just as well as they know yours." She moved then towards Eshamun's large belly, staring at it with a soft and loving gaze. "They are Blessed. For you are their world, and all they will know of the world is you. Your love, your warmth, your food. What greater gift is there? No suffering, no pain...only their mother. There is no more loving a world for them to see, than the womb and belly of their own mother."

She moved back towards her sister's face, smiling softly. "This is how I have made my peace, how I have understood our God's way. And Molech has sent you to me today to solidify my thoughts, to further still my worries. I only pray my view has given you some peace too sister, for I understand now your worries that day. Your pain. Perhaps I have shone light for you, as you did for me in this place? This place of birth and new life." She tilted her head slightly, but did not push. "I came here to gather my thoughts and to give thanks to Molech for sending you to me, but now I can thank you myself...for Molech has sent you again."

asherah lifted her face, and eshamun saw there the pain, the quarrel within the girl. but she did not speak, merely cupping her ears forward to hold the acolyte's words. asherah spoke at length, as she oft did, but with the eloquence and zeal eshamun so loved; she found herself moved to tears by the other's committment to molech. how could such a new worshipper believe in the god with such openness when there was doubt in her own heart?

swallowing past the sudden tightness of her throat, eshamun nodded with trembling lips at the other. "i too must thank molech -- for you. asherah, your name is the name of our mother, and your passion is her lifeblood. you are our very heart -- i believe you have within you the ability to be the greatest of us," eshamun added, a bit breathlessly, "for molech has shone the light upon you, and your radiance does not go unseen. thank you for your faith."

She saw the tears in Eshamun's eyes as her speech died away and she nuzzled her once more, her gaze soft. Her sister gave thanks for her and Asherah blushed beneath her fur. It humbled her greatly to hear her sister's words, and though she glowed she softly shook her head. "It was you, sister who brought me to Molech's light. And you, Arunik'ra and Ar-Khalba who taught me the word. I am only so great as my teachers, only through your faith am I able to trust and believe as I do." 

"Molech has a plan for us all, and this pain that we both feel...though you so more deeply than I...it will make us stronger. Molech has shone the light on us all, we must reflect that light to one another when the other grows dark. I thank you for your compliments, for your belief in me they mean more than you can imagine. Thank you, sister, for my faith." Again she drew forward to nuzzle Eshamun, feeling for the first time in a while the peace settling back into her heart. Molech was good, too good to her. 

"We have talked about me, but tell me...how do you fare? How are you doing?"

eshamun did not think herself an overly affectionate beast, touching arunik'ra only in passing and ar-khalba in passion, though she had not called him to her since she had conceived. however, asherah's nuzzles awakened a dormant hunger in the ekar-aji, and she found herself returning the gentle touches, even fumbling through offering those of her own. it was a pleasant warmth that blossomed in her veins, and the canaanite resolved to seek out more of this in the future.

"i grieve, as you know, but with molech's blessing, i will be given the chance to bear young again." eshamun still could not think upon what she must do upon giving birth -- she had seen it done and knew the words of the ritual -- but! her mind shied away. "our numbers will grow. your passion will make you a pleasant and effective teacher to the new acolytes. i would like you to walk among them when they come and encourage their beliefs."

Asherah was pleased that her sister returned the nuzzles, warmth blossoming in her heart. They were family as she had never known, family without fear and pain. Family with love and peace. Eshamun spoke then and Asherah nodded. It was Eshamun's right to grieve, as mother to the young that would join Molech soon.

"Molech will see it so." She whispered, smiling softly. "I would be honored to help with the new ones, young or old. May they find as much peace in Molech's embrace as I have." Once more she reached to nuzzle and be nuzzled by her sister. "May you find peace, as well sister. Molech will certainly bless you for what you offer so selflessly."

asherah spoke as eshamun knew she would; she kissed her young sister gently upon the cheek and did bid the acolyte to walk beside her. theirs was a leisurely stroll across the silken emerald grasses beyond the water, pleasantly silent save for the song of birds nesting in the branches o'erhead. she basked in the camaraderie shared by herself and asherah, and paused every so often to point out a shy rabbit or striking flower.

"asherah," the canaanite murmured at length, settling the warm emerald of her gaze upon the loveliness of her sister's face. "what role do you wish among us, if you could choose anything that you liked."

Asherah walked with her sister, falling into step beside but slightly behind Eshamun as a token of respect for her rank. The air was calm, serene and the land was beautiful. As they walked, Eshamun would point out different things and Asherah began to join her. She gestured to nesting birds, shared her sister's love for the flowers that bloomed so beautifully. It was a walk of family, of peace. Finally, Asherah felt that she was at peace again, inside and out.

Her ears flicked toward Eshamun as the female spoke her name. Her eyes turned, listening, attentive. She smiled softly at her friend, sister, leader. So many things in one was Eshamun to she. The question made her smile and she considered it, tilting her head lightly. "I would do whatever was needed of me most, sister. Wherever you felt I needed to be, or most fit, I would be happy." She smiled again, content with her answer, but decided to ask after the roles. "Tell me of the roles, though, Eshamun. I still know only what I have been told thus far."

Living in Molech's embrace was learning new things everyday.

she smiled. "how good molech was to bring you to us," she murmured, praising the god again. settling herself against soft grasses, she motioned for asherah to do the same. "arunik'ra is our high priestess, and with molech's blessing she will remain in that role for many years to come. but she may been in need of a student, one who will study alongside her for many years. and then perhaps molech will see fit to make you high priestess."

"you may be the one to tend the  tat mitra, the holy drink we give to the acolytes before they can attain clarity. you may be the keeper of these dark and sacred herbs. you may also be a mother, blessed by inanna, who helps to give suck and to raise the children of the malkaria. or you may be a warrioress, a defender of our gates."

eshamun grinned. "or ... molech may show you yet another role."

She merely shook her head, chuckling lightly at her sister's words. "How good Molech was to bring you to me. We needed each other, I think. I certainly needed you." She moved to lay beside Eshamun, looking kindly at her sister's stomach where the children grew. Her ears cupped forward and she listened to Eshamun explain the roles. She nodded, though the idea of herself being a high priestess seemed so strange. She'd much rather follow Arunik'ra than bear the title herself, at least, right now.

"I would happily do any and all of those tasks, sister. Though I will admit I have never been much of a fighter. I do hope one day I will bear children...but that is Molech's will and not my own, as you know. Tell me what most you would wish of me, and I will learn and perfect the task. I am Molech's, body and soul, but too I am yours."

She smiled softly, meaning her words. Should she be chosen for a role that kept her from birthing young she would accept it gratefully. Perhaps a day would come when that brought her sorrow, but otherwise...she was content to follow Eshamun's word as law.

asherah was gentle, eloquent, and utterly devoted to the god. eshamun's heart was light as she began to speak to the dear one of many things, of their goddess inanna, of molech's travels in the great and fiery wild. she told her of the priestess's rites, made vague mention of the sacred and mysterious rite of the res drunak, and the circle of light and of pain into which a pregnant woman is guided when it is time for her to give birth. they spoke of many things that day, each becoming more firm in their worship of molech.