Wolf RPG

Wistfully he sat at the borders that day. His fur looked a little less shiny than before and his stomach a little less well-fed; he had not been taking care of himself very well lately. He wasn't even patrolling or really keeping guard; all Eljay did was stare off into the distance, hoping to see a trace of @Finley or @Lucy in the distance. He knew it was stupid to expect such things, even moreso with each passing day, but he didn't know what else to do.

It was hours that he'd sat there, but it felt much longer and at the same time, so much shorter because nothing eventful happened. He just stared, seemingly serene to anyone who didn't know him, who didn't come too close to see his desperate, anguished expression; yet on the inside, he was like a whirlwind.

He had noticed the decline in his son's mental state, but wasn't really sure what to do about it. Confronting Eljay would do nothing but upset him, and distracting him didn't often seem to work. While that was Elwood's personal remedy, it didn't have the same effect on Eljay. Even while spending time with his younger brother and sister, he didn't seem to be fully there -- as though he was too busy worrying about Finley and Lucy (probably the former more than the latter, honestly).

But it wasn't a concern for Eljay or a need to get his mind off of things that caused Elwood to march towards him on this particular day. He was hungry, and he wanted Eljay's help. He barked cheerfully as he approached, his tail swinging in a loop behind him. "Hey! Can you help me with some hunting?" he asked, trying to ignore the strangely distant expression on his son's face.

Daddy tried, as always. He always tried. Eljay felt even more guilty that he was being so useless when daddy tried. He looked even bleaker and unhappier compared to daddy's never-ending stream of optimism. Eljay bit his lip and looked at the ground as daddy approached, happy as always, trying so hard to pretend like everything was fine when they both knew that mommy might be out there dying right now.

Eljay didn't want to hunt. He'd tried it earlier and it had resulted into nothing. " 'm patrolling," he mumbled while licking his lips submissively -- not used to going against daddy's, or anyone's, word or request -- as he kept his gaze on the horizon, clearly not paying much attention to anything. The only thing that'd make him jump up would be a grey dot in the distance at that moment.

"Oh," Elwood replied, drawing up short and blinking when Eljay provided a perfunctory response. He wasn't used to his son speaking in such a direct way, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing; it wasn't like Eljay had told Elwood to mind his own business or something equally as rude. And even though he was hungry, Elwood was willing to put his hunt on hold, at least for a little while.

"Okay," he added, recovering quickly. He took a step away from Eljay, having noticed that, even though the boy said he was patrolling, he looked like he had been rooted to the spot for quite some time. "Well, can I join you?" he asked, raising his brows questioningly.

It was hard to say 'no' to daddy, because Eljay loved daddy very much. But he also loved mommy and he was losing grip on himself. Even as he said no he felt hunger churn at him and he realised he didn't even know when he'd last eaten. But it was too late now, he had declined the offer and he decided to stay here. He did not even realise himself how much he was fading away; how his ribs were starting to show and his fur was getting less shiny than before. He sighed softly as daddy asked if he could join him, eventually, after a silence between them that felt uncomfortable to Eljay.

"Sure," he said and he continued to stare into the distance. A moment he perked up when he saw a grey spot in the distance, only to slump down when he realised it was just a prey animal of some sort with mommy's grey tones.

There was a long silence before Eljay responded; Elwood followed his son's gaze, noticing that he was continuing to stare into the distance almost without blinking. The boy's ears stood erect for a moment, and Elwood, too, perked up; but Eljay slumped when an animal slunk away, its coloration uncannily similar to Finley's. Elwood's stomach rumbled as he watched the potential meal disappear.

"Which way do you want to go?" he asked, looking back at Eljay. For the first time, he found himself feeling a little impatient with the youth. He wanted to shake him and tell him to snap out of it, but refrained. Instead, he inhaled through his nostrils, reminding himself that it was a difficult time for them all.

Eljay's ears folded back against his skull when his father spoke, feeling bad for not going hunting and for 'patrolling' horribly. He had kind of hoped that they would be able to just sit here until daddy'd eventually go away so that he could cry alone and just... Sit here and wait some more. Daddy didn't seem to fully understand, but Eljay knew that he should have watched Lucy better, and he shouldn't have let mommy go away. And a part of him felt that daddy shouldn't have let mommy go away, either, that he should've been firmer with her. Daddy was never really firm. Eljay liked that about daddy, because he was soft and always nice and encouraging. But it also made him feel worse for not being the child they wanted him to be, and it made him feel disappointed that daddy hadn't stopped mommy from leaving them behind.

Which way to go... "It doesn't really matter," he murmured, and he got to his feet, waiting awkwardly for daddy to decide the way. His stomach made a churning sound as he got up, because he was hungry, too. But he hadn't done anything useful, so he didn't think he should eat something right now. They would just patrol, first. Then maybe he would eat something... Or maybe not.

Elwood bit his lip, half out of frustration and half out of guilt. He wished that there was something more he could say to help Eljay, but nothing seemed to work -- and that was where the frustration came in. Whether they liked it or not, life went on without Finley and Lucy; and while Elwood missed them terribly, he kept himself occupied to avoid dwelling on their absence. Eljay didn't seem to have that ability.

"This way," he said, with a smile that felt mildly forced. He turned to the right and began to move, ears tilted back to listen for the sound of Eljay's footsteps behind him. After a few paces in silence, he said, "It's okay to miss Mommy, but I'm worried about you." He glanced at his son, all traces of happiness gone from his face.

Eljay followed daddy obediently when he picked a side and they started their way along the borders. It was silent at first, and Eljay looked at the horizon, and occasionally at his paws, while they walked. He could feel the burden of daddy's pain, knowing he was its cause. To look at daddy made Eljay want to crawl into a corner and wait until he would die so that he could be rid of the pain at last, and so that he could stop being a big disappointment to his parents.

The words made him stop in his tracks and he bit his lip as he looked at daddy, then away to the ground. After the brief pause Eljay came into motion again, continuing their way while he murmured, "I'm sorry, daddy..." Because he really didn't want to be so disappointing, and he didn't want to be sad. He wanted to be able to move on, like everyone else — but somehow, he just couldn't be happy, no matter how hard he tried.

Elwood bit his lower lip hard at Eljay's apology. It wasn't what he wanted to hear; he didn't want to shame his son or make him feel bad for the way he was coping with his emotions. But it seemed that Eljay didn't know what else to do or say. He had always defaulted to apologizing, and any anger Elwood had felt seeped away and was replaced with sadness.

"It's okay, buddy," he said quietly, shifting closer to Eljay and bumping his shoulder gently with his own. "She'll be back. She always comes back. And when she does, we'll have a big family feast or something to celebrate." He could only hope that when Finley returned, it would be with Lucy in tow.

Daddy tried to fill him with hope, and Eljay wanted so hard to believe what he was told. He smiled a watery smile at daddy because the story he told was so likeable and felt so good and warm. Eljay wanted to have that family feast and be together again, with everyone. It would be so wonderful... But what if she didn't return? She almost did not last time. He'd been little, but Eljay had never quite forgotten. What would he do without his mommy?

Eljay swallowed back a few sobs and said, "That'll be so great, daddy." They would have such a blast... Eljay wanted so badly to believe it, but somehow he found himself unable to as he continued to walk on, barely registering his surroundings.

"It will," Elwood murmured in agreement. He knew that Eljay was still worried; despite his own positive outlook, there were still moments where he felt doubt, too. Finley was a practiced scout and knew what she was doing -- even when she had been gravely injured, she had still managed to make it home. Granted, that had been with the help of a loner (Elwood couldn't even remember her name), but the point was still that she had returned to Redhawk Caldera. Nothing could keep her from her children -- which was why she was out searching for Lucy, and why Elwood chose to believe -- no, had to believe -- that she would find their daughter and return.

Still, he huffed out a sigh. "Borders look pretty quiet. You must be doing a good job out here," he commented with a small smile. "I'm gonna grab something to eat -- do you want anything?" he asked, glancing at Eljay hopefully.

He smiled a forced smile when daddy said that the borders looked good, so he must be doing good here. Eljay knew he hadn't done anything but stand sentinel. But he smiled for daddy, because daddy deserved a smile, even if it wasn't a perfect one. Daddy deserved so much more than he was getting...

"I'm not hungry," Eljay lied, feeling guilty for taking food from the caches if he hadn't even patrolled all that well. He'd tried to hunt lately but had been rubbish at it, and hadn't wanted to take from the caches to strain the pack, either. Seeing the hopeful look in daddy's eyes, Eljay quicky added, "But I'll come, if... Yeah." He smiled somewhat awkwardly and turned inwards, ready to follow daddy to wherever he was intending to go (he hoped cache, because Eljay didn't want daddy to see how rubbish he was at hunting, but he'd join a hunt if that was what daddy wanted instead).

"That's okay," Elwood replied when Eljay said that he wasn't hungry. Tagging along with his dad would still be a better use of Eljay's time than staring into the distance -- and Elwood could keep an eye on him, as well. Maybe he could even convince him to have a bite or two.

"C'mon," he added, glad to have his son's company even if Eljay was somewhat reluctant. When he didn't immediately find a viable scent trail, Elwood conceded to snacking from a cache and offering some of his meal to Eljay, whether he protested or not.