Halfway through. Or something close to that, Giana knew. Much as the ivory woman tried to track the days, it was obvious to all by sight now that she was pregnant. As if it hadn't been enough for her to smell different and act oddly, now the pouch she'd developed -- okay, it was more than a pouch, even the vain female had to admit -- was a tell-all sign to the world.
Somedays, she wished Giancarlo would appear. This didn't always mean she wished him close, however: half of those days she only wanted to see him to rip out his throat for abandoning her, taking her kindness and passion with him. For breaking her apart, allowing her to fall into the paws of those heartless bastards.
Other nights, even she couldn't help but crumble beneath the weight on her shoulders. She would howl to the wind as if she could call him back, sobbing only beneath the comfort of the stars.
Now was the latter such night, but she wandered further from her god-blessed home as the sun set, venturing off into the night at a stalk. At first, it was aimless wandering, shoulders hunched and ears slicked back as if anger could keep her sadness at bay. For a while, in truth, the shell would hold.
By the time she passed through the Twisted Slough, it broke. Her once strong frame limp and defeated under the final rays of the sun. Sobs shook her softly as she trudged on through the muck, but the storm-eyed female didn't stop. Her internal destination led her forward to the grove she met the father --
@Hadraniel Abernathy -- in that day last month. He often slipped into her mind, making her wonder where he was, where he lived. Did he already have a mate? He hadn't smelled of a pack or specific person when she'd met him, but perhaps something had changed. Or maybe he'd simply been away from them long, even covered their scents on purpose? Would he do that? Gia hadn't ever been good at chosing social -- or romantic, it seemed -- partners, and it wouldn't surprise her if the Abernathy didn't seem turn out good.
The moon was up high by the time she passed under the palms, and the soft whooshing of the waves were a comfort she wouldn't be able visit for possibly many months. For now, she took solace in it, slumping to her belly and sobbing freely for a long while.
As winter slowly crept upon him, the man's mind usually wondered where he would take refuge during the winter. He often thought of Asterr in these past few days and how her offer was still there for him to grab if he needed it. He would unexpectedly find himself at the base of the cheiftess's mountain after casually wandering and the young male wondered if he was meant to be there or if it was simply coincidence that he ended up along her borders. Either way, he knew he would need a place to stay in order to survive his first winter alone. Even with his exceptional skills at hunting, Hadraniel still would not be able to provide enough to get him through winter simply on his own.
With dozens of emotions and thoughts racing through his mind, the sandy male made his way towards the sea. It was a place that calmed him in his worst moments and let him enjoy the melody of the crashing waves in the distance. It was here he felt most relaxed, but even the shore did not feel like home. He let out a sigh just as he caught a silhouette in the distance and with nothing better to do he decided to go see who it was. To his surprise it was the woman he met not long ago on these very shores and the man couldn't help but notice her protruding sides. He let out a chuff to announce his presence before greeting her with a friendly "fancy seeing you here again."
How much time passed, Giana didn't know. All she knew were the sobs that shook her frame and the waves crashing before her, reaching up to the tips of her paws before receding into the depths again.
Though her mind had drawn her here, she didn't expect the scent that drifted on the wind -- she didn't move until Hadraniel's voice sounded behind her. Rusted face turning to face him, a pathetic smile softening the grief.
"Hello, Hadraniel. Come to feel your puppies move?"
Her stormy eyes sought his, broken down and searching as she was for comfort -- it was a rare and maybe hormone-based time in which she craved the touch of another, to be held and wanted -- and willing to say what she had to do get it.
While is might seem cruel, the man had little sympathy for his fling he met many nights ago. Whatever she was going through wasn't really any of his concern and honestly he did wish to be dragged into drama he wasn't already apart of. He had enough crap going on in his life, he didn't need more. "What makes you think they're mine?" he asked, head slightly tilted as he remained in his relaxed position behind her.
Like on the day he met her, he assumed she had mated with others and that the pups that grew within her now were not his at all. He knew that there was a chance they could be his, that his future offspring lay just before him but he did not wish to believe that was the case.
The tortilla colored man didn't reach out as she wished to, and even as she extended her muzzle in physical want, his words brought her flinching back. Her stormy eyes flashed in anger, but in her sadness her tongue was stilled from lashing out. Wrinkling her muzzle instead, Giana snorted and shook her head before finally speaking.
"I know they're yours because you're the only man I was with."
Her words were firm and cool, leaving no room for argument or doubts, but her glossy eyes still roamed his frame. Be it the needs of her hormones or her emotions, she wanted to feel his frame against hers. Not necessarily in the same way as the first, she just wanted to fell, to be assured that she wasn't dreaming. The platinum woman didn't voice this need yet, knowing the moment might not call for such intimacy.
When she snorted and the words spilled from her mouth a low irritated growl rumbled in the man's chest. He didn't believe her, or rather did want to believe her. He didn't want kids, or the responsibility or raising them but considering how the ivory woman brought up the topic of children, he assumed she wanted him to just lay down his life and help her raise her kids. "Why should I believe you?" he asked, not in any way rude but certainly not friendly either.
He turned his head away from her to watch the waves crash along the shore. He didn't want to see in her eyes that she was telling the truth, didn't want to accept the consequences of his actions. He didn't want any of this.
At the man's growl, her wrinkled lips pulled up to show her fangs -- the strong-willed female didn't really care if he believed her or not, only wished to give him the chance to see his children.... Or at least know of them. When he turned his face from her, a growl rumbled in her throat, but she too turned her stormy eyes to the sea.
"You don't have any reason to and I expect nothing. Just figured a man would like to know when he sired children. Whether you help or care or not is on your shoulders, I can raise my kids on my own if that's what you want."
Grumbling, irritated, Gia was glad to stop being so mopey. Her aggression was a safety blanket, but even here she couldn't be truly hostile. No matter what kind of man -- or boy -- she thought he was, the Abernathy had a right to know.
"I'd like to know what to tell my kids about you, if you didn't choose to be in my life or theirs."
His eyes never pulled away from the waves as she spoke, each word felt as if it was a dagger piercing through him. She thought he would want to know but she got it all wrong. If he didn't know then he wouldn't worry, would care, but now she ruined it all. Now he knew and was practically being forced to make a decision that could effect him for the rest of his life. And unfortunately the man often thought with his heart rather than with his head when it came to making important choices.
"They'd be better off without me" he grumbled lowly to himself at the thought of his possible children. He would make a shitty father, but he supposed a shitty father was better than none at all. Still, even as his heart slowly began to desire the children that grew in the woman's womb, Hadraniel remained oblivious to his feelings. "Not much to tell."
Prepared to turn her face to his should he look this way, Giana listened to the words he rumbled -- so, he was not a good man? Then again, would it be a bad man to admit his kids would be better without his presense? He didn't even want to tell her about himself.... Or, again, there really was nothing to tell: Giana couldn't pick up anything from this man beside his irrisponsibility, and his arrogance.
"Every child deserves to be with all the family they have. It makes them stronger, passes on a little piece of yourself in the times where we aren't there. They can look at each situation with our wisdom making them smarter. Even the bad things teach great lessons. I didn't have a mother in my life, and that did a great deal on me."
Without moving a muscle or her gaze, calm and splayed confidently on the sand as she gave her opinion. She wouldn't be the same without her fathers lengthy and beneficial presence in her life, but she also believed that she missed a lot of things not having a mother.
"Everyone has a story to tell, even if its bad or boring. I'll tell all of mine, too, if that makes you feel better. Even if we aren't together, I think we should know each other.... Right?"
Jeez, when did she get to sound so much like Luca Angleo?
At the word family was when the male shifted his position and brought his lips to curl back in a low growl. The way she said that word so easily and tossed it around like it was no big deal angered the man to his core. "No!" he shouted at her, not bothering to listen to any other words that came out of her vile mouth. "Family doesn't make you stronger...heartbreak, pain, blood and tears...that's what makes us stronger." It was the sacrifices he made in life and the things that knocked him down that made him who he is today.
He turned then and searched for her eyes. He wanted to make sure she heard these next words he mustered because there was no way in hell he would say it twice. "If I choose to be apart of their lives there is no guarantee I will stick around for the long run. I wouldn't want you to expect any lovey dovey shit either, I'd be there for them not you." It was not entirely a yes, but Hadraniel did not wish to become the thing he despised most in the world: his father. He knew the suffering of having to grow up without a proper father figure and although he did not necessarily wish to have the responsibility of raising children, he also did not wish to condemn them to the same fate he was forced to endure for most of his life.
At first, Giana turned her storms on him and again flashed her fangs -- but her face fell neutral as she listened, both agreeing and disagreeing with his reasonings. Yes, those things made you stronger, but who did he think was supposed to build them back up afterwards?
"Yes, those things are critical too. In an ideal family, it is the support that helps build them up stronger again. When I say family, by the way, I don't necessarily mean blood. I could go out and find a mate -- even if I don't plan to --, and if it's he who helps raise them who provides, then they're his kids. He is a father. I'm giving you the option to be that father they need, to step up and be a man."
Shaking her head, Giana sighed and gave a shrug of her shoulders.
"It is up to you how long you stay, but know you'd be breaking their hearts more to leave after they know you than for you to never have been there. My pack will support them and love them, and they'll be raised in the light as great and respected members of The Malkaria."
Was this really what she wanted her kids to grow up with? Parents who aren't mates and would probably fight all the time...is that really an environment she wants her children to be in? Hadraniel didn't know what it was like to grow up with fighting parents but he did know what it felt like to be unloved by them and the last thing he wanted for his kids was for them to feel unloved.
He turned away then, wanted to tell her to raise them in her own, kill them or give them away but he couldn't bring himself to say the harsh words. He had committed an unspeakable crime against the pale female he had met many days ago, and it was that part of him that wished for his kids to never know. "What the hell is The Malkaria?" he asked, curious to hear where exactly his kids would be growing up.
Without words, the pale man turned away -- a growl rumbled in her deep chest, and she swatted a harmless paw at him. It was disrespectful to her, vain and dominant proud as she was: her father had always given her a good cuff around the ears if she turned from him in a conversation.
"I won't tell you a damn thing until you look at me."
She couldn't understand how he was feeling, even if she could've read his thoughts. Couldn't imagine giving them away or killing them, either -- those that were not given to Molech would be raised loved and happy, and she would protect them with every fibre of her being, as a mother and father. She had her sister wolves as well, and at least two other litters her own would grow up with. What better of a life could she ask for her and her young? Assuming he'd turned to her, Giana, being the hypocrite she is, turned her head down to lick gently at the squirming bundles, lifting a leg and unintentionally giving Hadraniel an outside view of his children; more accurately, a paw or nose prodding and distending her stomach in alien ways, seemingly active despite the nighttime.
"The Malkaria is both my home and my religion, so to speak. We live in Sun Mote Copse, South-East of here, and worship our God, Molech. You are welcome to join me on the return home -- my leader would see fit to meet you first, but I can't imagine her turning you away, as long as you contribute to the pack."
He let out a growl when her paw hit him and for a few seconds he didn't move a muscle but after taking a deep breath he eventually turned to face her. Hormonal women were more frightening than the devil himself and Hadraniel did not wish to unleash hell so he did as she commanded and not dare utter a word as she spoke. He kept his eyes on her until she began to lick at her stomach and a low growl rumbled in his chest while he focused his eyes anywhere but on her. Every now and then he would sneak a peak but for the most part he either stared out at the crashing waves or looked down at his paws.
She explained where she lived and that this Malkaria was her religion. Hadraniel himself did not believe in any greater being but he was not disrespectful towards those who did. He understood that there were others that felt the need to have something greater than themselves out there in the universe and who was he to condemn them? "I don't know my final decision yet, but if you don't mind...I'd like to see where my children will be raised."