obligatory *vague* disclaimer
It had been about a week since she'd gotten back, but it could have been shorter or longer than that, for all she knew. Time seemed to both drag and race by; the latter when she tried to move around, the former when she found herself immobile, trapped in her head. The dark-furred girl had began to fall into a depression, ruminating on all that had come to pass.
Lily had wanted to go home. She knew that. She remembered well her fight with Alarian, and while the memories surrounding her plunge into the creek were less solid, she understood that she'd gotten there from running away. Now she was remorseful in more than one way. If she hadn't left, she wouldn't have put everyone--most of all, herself--through this drama, this dilemma. And now, with a broken ankle and a fuzzy head, she'd almost ensured that she would not go home anytime soon.
Speechless and morose, the young woman pulled herself from her den, awkward, wobbly. She limped through the tunnel, eventually settling down on her haunches just outside, utterly exhausted. The sun was warm on her ebony pelt, and she closed her eyes, finding some small comfort from it after the cool air between the boulders.
Lily took a deep inhalation, holding it for a moment, then let it go slowly, counting the seconds as they went by. Her ears swiveled lazily, listening to the little sounds around her. She opened her eyes once more, almost able to feel the sadness she knew was buried in their depths.
Quiet. Timid. Serious. The very antithesis of what she'd always been--but here she sat, still and cold as a stone.
fatherhood suits delight more than leadership ever did -- at least right now, while they're still small and unable to speak. he can still feel a looming void at the back of his brain, threatening every moment with its vast nothingness. it frightens him -- and it makes him push harder to win these moments of clarity.
it doesn't make him social though. lord. delight at his best still hates being social.
despite that, when he sees lily delight feels an urge to go to her -- he knows what alarian's told him (the argument, the depature) and little else. he thinks her return is a good thing... maybe? it's hard to tell. she herself looks like she's seen better days -- delight relates. cautiously he calls out to her in greeting, his approach slow and almost reticent, despite him being the one to initiate. still, he approaches: if nothing else, he should apologise for that time with queenie.
should he apologise? (i mean, yes) -- has enough time passed that it'd just be reopening an old wound, some one time scuffle that doesn't need to be revisted? he wavers, hoping lily will start the conversation and spare him this debate -- but of course she doesn't. ah. "hi," delight says, feeling incredibly foolish, "we never really -- got to speak much, before. sorry about that," there! an apology without evoking the specific incident -- hopefully that'll work. or make her madder, really, who knows, he's just doing his best here.
it does not, thankfully, take much for delight to cotton on. lily had never struck him as verbally reticent -- and the exaggerated gestures she's using to communicate paint the picture pretty well. he'd not known she was hurt when she got back. or .. whatever is causing her to not speak.
delicately he doesn't react, only nodding as she seems to accept her apology. this is tricky for him -- words are delight's forte, being, as he is, someone dedicated to preserving oral history. nonverbal communication he is not so good with. he watches her raise her eyebrows and gesture towards him, and takes a guess: "been busy with um, the puppies," he says. pausing, he adds, "i can -- tell you about them, if you want?" he's not a very gushing parent -- but it'd save her from having to try to say too much, and i dunno, maybe she's into babies.
she seems to take to the idea, thankfully. it feels awkward to -- have a one way conversation (as if it's not a pattern in his life already, but go off), and for a moment he hesitates, trying to compose his thoughts. after a beat he takes a breath. "there's three of them," delight begins, focusing on the objective overview, "a boy and two girls -- mali, brilliance, and solomon. their eyes are open now but they're still pretty tiny.. i didn't, uh, realise how tiny they'd be. which is kind of stupid, i guess."
he smiles at his feet. "i was really unsure about this whole thing -- both of us were. we hadn't, y'know, planned on it. or really wanted it. for me it was like -- i thought i could maybe ... preserve tindómë that way -- oh, um, tindómë being the pack we're from -- i thought that it would be a way to make sure we had a legacy. clearly it didn't work, at least in the sense of saving tindómë as a place." looking back up at her, delight tilts his head sheepishly, realising he's meandered off topic. "sorry -- it's just been on my mind a lot, lately. they're perfect, though. now that they're here i don't regret it."
she doesn't seem to object to his rambling, so after a moment he sucks in a breath and cautiously goes on, watching to make sure she doesn't start looking bored or annoyed. "tindómë's been on my mind a lot lately," he repeats, voice turning shy, "because of them, i guess. like... i feel bad that it ended up this way sometimes. not -- alarian was very kind to take us in and -- i like it here, of course, but i also know we're sort of interlopers. i don't uh, i don't blame any of you for being distrustful or upset about it, honestly," he adds, wondering if lily is still upset about their presence in the way eris and the others were -- are? who knows. "i wasn't even supposed to lead -- and i definitely wasn't supposed to lead on my own -- and i feel like, i feel like i'm cursed, somehow, because burke died and then the king elk and -- cicero, even, even if he wasn't with us with us, and just, it all sort of fell apart at the end."
this is maybe definitely not a very good thing to be telling your packmate who barely knows you (hi i'm cursed and i will ruin your pack), and as he speaks color floods his cheeks, his jaw snapping shut with an embarrassed whine. good thing she can't talk, he thinks before he can help himself and shakes his head to chase it away. "um! the kids though. they're great," delight says, changing the subject and hoping she will please nicely let it all go because he is such a sadsack.