@Terance
Edited for plot purposes and brought to present date 8th October.
Days had passed and Wraen still had not found answers to her questions, except for a resolution that - perhaps - it would be better for all, if she put distance betwee herself and everything that tied her down here. Time spent on her own would probably give her a much needed fresh perspective of things. And the more she thought about the freedom that would come, once she tore all strings, the more she anticipated. She needed an exit.
To rest her wandering mind, she focused on hunting more, but even the best of the craft can get into accidents. During a hunt in the mountains Wraen had cut a pawpad on a sharp piece of rock. It was nothing too serious, but annoying and painful, making it hard for her to walk and for this reason she was stationed at Sunspire for the whole day.
In a resting place, which she shared with Maia, Wraen lied and groomed her injured paw, feeling little relief and more compulsion to clean and clean, and clean it until it was spotless. But instead of this activity giving her peace of mind, the effect was contrary - the injury seemed to ache even more.
Eventually - with an exasperated groan - she gave up and lied on her side, trying to fall asleep and fighting hard to ignore the pulsating pain that was creeping up her limb. Life did not seem to improve at all.
Editted and brought to present date for plot purposes.
Wraen had lost track of, whether Terance had gone with Rannoch down to the prospective new home, or had been away on a mission of his own. In any case, after the last clash, for which Wraen felt very guilty about even now, she would have preferred to see the alpha instead of his faithful follower and her sibling. Especially with the bad news that she was about to deliver. But he seemed to be so happy (as happy as he could be in these circumstances), that she did not have it in her to say all that she had to say just yet.
"Someone's feeling very energetic," Wrean replied, greeting her brother with a wagging tail and a smile, while she remained lying, after she had changed her position from being entirely lateral to sphinx-like.
"How was your trip?"
"At least you know that they are doing fine," Wraen remarked, feeling amazed, how little she had been thinking about Seabreeze and the two children, once the first turmoil of their decision to leave had died down. She recalled, how angry and hurt she had felt towards the woman, who had broken her brother's heart, and how very indifferent she was now.
"Did some leading stuff," she began, "and did some thinking. More of the latter than the first, I am ashamed to admit." There was a sad smile and pause, during which she was looking for the right words to say, but she realized that there was no way to wrap up nicely, what she was about to tell. She had always been the one to feel the unfairness fate towards her brother keenly and ironically she would be the one person to deliver another blow.
"I looked back at, what life has been for me ever since I left home, and I had a glimpse in the future... and I did not like, what I saw there," she said, avoiding to look Terance in the eyes, therefore letting her gaze wander from her paws, along the ground and finally settling at some point at the horizon. "These past months have been very difficult for me, I have worked so hard to provide for the kids and the rest... that in the end there is nothing left for me. If I am not working, I am resting and even then it feels wrong, because I should be on the move, should be doing something."
Her countenance became guilty now: "And nothing will really change, when we move, will it? Once these kids will be grown, there will be another batch, and then another spring and more mouths to feed. I see no end for it... and as much as I love you, Liffey and Rannoch... I just can't do it anymore. I do not want to spend my life in service of others, having nothing of it to myself. I have this small and miserable hope that there is more to life than this."
"I also thought about our relationship and realized that maybe we... I will be a better person, if we do not live in the same pack and have to share the same rank," now she dared to look Terance in the eyes with all the sadness of the world in her gaze. "I hate myself after every argument we have had and afterwards I often wonder, who is this bitch in my skin, why can't things be the way they were such a long time ago. But it made me realize that... that we are two different people and I don't think it is healthy for the pack to see us arguing and it is unfair to Rannoch to make him choose sides."
"Came out quite long..." she sighed and looked away again. "But I wanted to tell you that... that I won't come with you, when you move to Lost Creek Hollow. I will step down and take a leave to have time to figure things out on my own."
Had their roles been reversed, Wraen would have been in an emotional turmoil, like it had happened many times before during very heated moments, she would have said things that she would later regret. And yet this was Terance, who met arguments with calmness and few well chosen words. He accepted the situation as it was and did not fight back. This was a characteristic that she both admired and did not understand in him. She wished to have his calm and ability to think straight and clearly, when situation was stressful, unpleasant and dangerours. And yet she would never admit a defeat without trying to find a way out, to solve things, to save, whatever there was to save.
Wraen got up to her feet and went to sit side by side him, their flanks touching and with her head resting against the side of his neck. They had not been this close for a very long time and after this moment would pass, they would never again. She was wrapped in his scent and just being there next to him made her feel safe and protected against the whole world. This feeling she would miss the most and it made her wonder, whether Lyra or Seabreeze had felt the same way as she did now. If they had, why hadn't they valued him more. But, who was she to speak, if she planned to leave as well? Even if her reasons had an entirely different basis.
"You know that this is not true - just because we handle things differently, does not mean that any of us is better than the other. You have had the most difficult year of your life and yet you are still standing and you are still there for Rannoch and his family," she countered his words. "And you have to promise me that you will stop doubting and blaming yourself for everything bad that has come your way. It is, what it is and what will be, will be," she finished.
No, she had not yet told this to Maia or Rannoch and she did not like to be the bearer of bad news. She had no idea, how Maia would react, but she could easily imagine Rannoch feeling disappointed, betrayed and very hurt. "No, I have to do it soon. Though I can't speak for herself, I do not want to drag her out in the wilds, when winter is coming. She would be much better off with you guys, but I will respect any decision she makes," she replied.
"I wish that life stops hitting you so hard time and time again," Wraen said with a smile and moved her head a little to look her brother in the eyes.
"If it does not, I will have a serious talk with mother Fate - just give a shout," she added with a light-hearted chuckle.
"Frankly speaking, I have no idea, how she is going to react. I hate to disappoint her, on the other hand... it is not like we are saying goodbye forever. The world is small after all," she sighed, realizing that the hardest part was ahead of her. With Terance she had known, what to expect more or less. With Maia... she had never seen her any different than being optimistic.
"I can't promise, when exactly, but I would like to visit you in the new place at some point," she said after some silence.
"See, how you all have settled there and are doing."
I think you can wrap up in your next post. Thank you for all and good luck in leading the new pack!