Wolf RPG

tegan had cried a lot. like a fucking ton. and he didn't even fucking care if you told anyone. tell everyone. he was a fucking pussy ass coward and you could say it to his face. fucking do it, bitch. say it to him. 

he had been... gone for the last week. he wasn't even sure where he'd been. he'd gone up and down the river looking for her but he hadn't gotten a single sign of her. she was gone. fucking dead. it was his god damn fault. he had to keep looking. but he hadn't found much to eat that week, a few scraps and he wasn't even that hungry for them. tegan. not hungry. it was fuckin bizarro. 

anyhoo. 

he came back to the borders eventually. cause he had a duty, or whatever. and he missed his mom. he missed her a lot. he missed towhee too. and niamh. and bat. he missed bat. fuck he missed bat.

he drug himself to the borders and then laid down -- lookin like a big ball of sad. disheveled, maybe, but no injuries, no blood, no nothing. just sad. he didn't even try to howl, someone would probably trip over him. 

Although it wasn't odd for Tegan to be away from the plateau, Clover had noticed her brother's absence.  She had kept herself close to the borders after his absenteeism had lasted longer than she had anticipated. Although she was anxious for him to return, she'd never admit her concern. 

In her patrolling, Clover spotted Tegan's hunched figure in the distance. Although miserable looking, she identified him quickly. "You sonofabitch!" Clover chriped as she pranced closer to where he wallowed. "What the fuck happened to you?" she asked, and quirked a brow as she stopped next to him.

Towhee spent a lot of time sulking lately. Every time she did bother to depart from her three main haunts (the borders, The Roost and the thicket), she only grew surlier. The place felt like a ghost town lately. Everybody was either off planning to leave for the copse or they'd left already. At least, that's how it felt to the Beta.

She was actually working herself into a bit of a rage at the moment as her footsteps carried her around the plateau. Why did she bother? Why should she waste her time protecting a place where nobody lived anymore? Soon, the pack would disband, the Redhawks legacy scattered to the winter winds. (She conveniently ignored the fact that Wildfire carried this very same torch, just under a different title.)

She momentarily forgot her sour temper when she found Tegan and Clover by the borders. She was so glad to see they were still here. The latter was standing over the former, who looked utterly dejected. Her happiness immediately turned to alarm—a dejected Tegan was downright unnatural—and Towhee bustled closer, barking, "What's going on? What's the matter?" even as she thrust her cold nose against his gray cheek.

ah! it was clover who tripped over him. well, not literally, but figuratively. she yelled a pretty normal and expected slur at him and then when she asked what was wrong it came as bluntly as ever. tegan expected it, he would've done the same thing if it were clover all melted over the borders. but it wasn't. it was him. 

he made a noise, like he was attempting to answer but choked on his own words. he hadn't spoken in days -- the first few all he'd done was scream for bat, and then when he lost his voice he'd fallen to silence. plus he lost hope. there was just... no point. she was gone. 

towhee came seconds later though, nudging his face with a dark nose and asking him roughly the same questions but in her own hurried way, as towhee always did. tegan stifled a sob as he took in a heavy breathe. 

"bat fell through the ice at the river. i couldn't save her," he said, defeated and low. he wasn't crying anymore, but his voice was still strained and sad. tegan was sad.

Were it not for the loud sonofabitch! shrieked by her most eloquent and stoic of daughters, Finley may never have found herself heading towards the borders. She typically avoided them ever since her injury, knowing she probably wouldn't be much good in a fight anyway. She left that job for the young and fit - her time was better served hanging around with the kids and napping and being grumpy about how all she ever did was hang around the kids and nap.

Fortunately, she wasn't all that far away from where her remaining wildlings had gathered (this affectionate term included Towhee and her siblings these days). She arrived not far behind her goddaughter, but still, all she heard as she walked up were the words I couldn't save her. Finley froze temporarily, stunned and alarmed by the words. Her face contorted into a confused frown as she stepped forward, hushing the panic that threatened to take control. Tegan said crazy ass things all the time - maybe this was one of those. It was a belief she clinged tightly to, even as she stepped up to Clover's side and looked down at her son who was in a state she had never before witnessed - a state that made her feel physically ill with concer.

"What's going on?" Fin asked, her voice quiet and low and steady, for the moment. Trepidation filled her, but she shifted into crisis mode and held onto her calm. Again, for the moment.

"Bat fell through the ice at the river," Tegan reported sadly, " I couldn't save her." Clover grew silent, momentarily paralyzed by the news; she hadn't even noticed that Finley was standing beside her. "You... what?!" she eventually replied, fixing her littermate with an icy stare. "Couldn't save her?! What kinda of fuckin' answer is that?" Clover couldn't believe what she had heard; Tegan wasn't one to give up so quickly. 

"Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why the fuck aren't you out there looking for her?" Clover stepped forward, his hackles bristling as she stared at her sibling. "God, fuck you dude." She couldn't believe how self-centered he was being—Bat needed help. There was no way she could be dead, like Tegan claimed.

Clover shook her head and growled lowly. "Where the fuck did this happen?" she commanded; it was time for her to clean up the mess he had made.

Towhee very nearly missed Tegan's response when Finley's arrival sidetracked her attention. In fact, she only looked back in time to catch the latter half: "—ice at the river. I couldn't save her." It felt like someone had injected frost into her bloodstream; it was slow, at first, but then Towhee felt the chill rush through her, sinking its icicle teeth into the marrow of her bones. She hadn't seen the who, though it wasn't difficult to guess, seeing as Tegan and Bat were attached at the hip. And it was easy enough to piece together the puzzle from there.

Before the Beta could formulate any sort of reply, she sensed Clover pitching a fit. She stared blankly at the yearling as she browbeat Tegan. She wanted to tell her to shut it, now was not the time. But the whole thing was so damn bewildering that Towhee found herself instead redirecting her eyes to Finley, hoping the eldest of the group could insert some sense into all of this.

if tegan's sad demeanor wasn't already a personality shock to the rest of the wolves that surrounded him, this next bit surely would be. 

finley's presence triggered more of a reaction out of him than anyone had thus far. tegan shuffled upwards as she arrived, still looking like a heap of fuckin sad but now sitting upright. drooping but sitting. he didn't want his mama to worry, but boy was he fucking sad. 

suddenly clover was screaming at him, like he was a fucking dumbass or something. like he had just gone all baby-mode and crawled home or something. he was suddenly on his feet as her voice began to raise, and accusations began to be thrown. in an instant tegan had clicked from big droopy puddle to bristling fiend. he growled, teeth bared. tegan was enraged, unable to believe what the fuck clover was saying. he interrupted her multiple times, but she kept yelling. "what the fuck do you mean what kind of answer?" more yelling. "i've been looking!!" more yelling. "i looked for a WEEK!" more yelling. "fuck you!!! clover!" disbelief. "you can't fucking talk to me like that!!" and then tegan was done yelling.

he didn't even hear her next question, but it was probably laced in more accusations and malice. teeth bared, now snarling, tegan made an emotionally driven decision. he'd shut her up. his bitchass fucking sister. snarling and looking to throw that bitch to the ground. never mind who was around him, tegan was fucking done with this. towhee didn't even try to defend him as clover yelled, so fuck her. he didn't care. clover was treating him like he was a fucking moron -- like he wanted this to happen. clover was so far below him in the ranks if he pissed on her it might've gained enough velocity to fucking pierce through her skull. she'd learn her place right now. 

even he understood emotions better than her.

No one offered clarification for Fin, and that just made it harder for her to keep the panic at bay. Her eyes narrowed at Clover as she began to shout at her brother. Her hackles rose in aggravation, but she was rooted by her son's staggering, withered, broken visage as he pulled himself up for her. But Clover was screaming, and soon enough, she saw Tegan rise to the challenge. It would've been impressive. She'd always appreciated the fact that their particular litter had inherited so much of her foul-mouthed, no holds barred ways. But there was a time and a place, and this was not it. Maybe if they'd clued her in on what was happening first, but they hadn't, and Fin felt her own tolerance for the wildness she'd always appreciated in her kids snap like a brittle twig beneath a boulder.

Finley looked briefly at Towhee, giving Tegan and Clover a few seconds worth of scuffling before she looked back and took action. In a matter of about five seconds, she had flipped her switch from anxious, but stoic to full on bristled, snarling, and towering. She threw herself into her children like a battering ram, inserting herself in a small window of space that had opened between them and shoving her shoulders first to the left and then the right to bodily separate them and - hopefully - knock them both on their damn fool asses. She had for months ascertained that she was crippled from her injury - that she just couldn't move like she used to, she couldn't hunt, she couldn't defend her rank, she couldn't lead, she couldn't guard, blah blah blah. But when things needed doing, Finley Blackthorn was apparently going to damn well do them, injured or not.

"That is ENOUGH," Fin snarled, snapping at Clover's muzzle before turning her head back to bare her teeth at Tegan, "Tell me what happened, now. Who have you been looking for?" She shot another glare at Clover before looking again at her son expectantly. She realized belatedly that she was shaking from that awful, sinking feeling in her gut that told her something devastating had happened. Her kids would likely think it was from rage though, so she didn't try to stop herself. Not that she could've done so anyway.

"A week?!" Clover shriked; that was all?! "THAT'S IT? THAT'S HOW LONG IT TOOK FOR THE FUCKIN PITY PARA—" Clover was taken aback suddenly—both figuratively and literally. She hardly had time to comprehend Tegan's reaction—how could he have given up on his best friend so quickly? Before she knew it, she was tangled with her brother, snapping at every bit of him that she could manage to get her teeth around. "I'll fuckin' talk to you however I FUCKIN WANT!" she yowled, feeling the sharp stab of his bite. "FUCK YOU TEGAN!" 

Eventually, Finley managed to intervene and sent Clover tumbling onto her sorry ass. She jumped onto her paws, recoiling quickly. Had it not been for the snap of their mother's jaws, she would have leaped back into action. She watched Tegan sharply, her sides heaving and her fangs exposed. Clover would not act again—at least not yet. Although she longed to beat his ass, she knew better than to cross Finley. She had never seen her this irate, and frankly, it was a little scary.

Towhee couldn't hear the epithets being shot like gunfire between brother and sister, nor did she catch any of them via lipreading. It all happened much too quickly for that. In any case, things escalated quickly into a language Towhee understood a bit better. She took a startled step backward as the two's fight turned physical, utterly bewildered by these goings-on.

But when Finley thrust herself between the two, the mercenary quickly collected herself and inserted her body between the siblings right alongside their mother. The retiree's interference seemed pretty effectual, though Towhee punctuated it with a loud snarl of her own, her lips skinned back from her teeth and her tail arched.

"What's gotten into you two?" she snapped, accidentally speaking over Finley as she demanded answers from Tegan. -Can you sign, please?- she requested with a flurry of forelimbs, feeling a little behind the curve on this matter and wanting to catch up.

tegan blacked out a bit for the fight -- as he tended to do. at least this time he didn't hit his head on clover's... that would've been bad. clover had gotten a good piece of flesh outta him... he felt the sting on his ear, which flicked uncomfortably now that finley had separated. but clover still yelled, and tegan's entire being was still vibrating in ferocity, in anger. "YOU FUCKING CUNT!" screamed tegan across his mother, who he wouldn't dare cross -- but unless she ripped his tongue out finley couldn't stop him from screaming. "do you think i wanted to come back? do you think i want to be standing across from your slut-ass face?" he threw more insults, teeth still bared.

but finley demanded answers. the questions were directed at tegan, who stood looking like a feral cat. all his muscles were tensed, fur bristling, teeth bared, ears pinned to his skull. his tongue flicked out between pearly whites, avoiding his mother's gaze and instead letting his gaze flick to towhee -- who was less intimidating, for once. 

she asked him to sign. 

-bat is dead- he signed, having to sit down to do so but still appearing fully ready to take down clover, -she fell through the ice at the river west of here. i looked up and down the river all week, i couldn't find her. i'd been gone too long, i had to come home.- the more he spoke the more defeated he became, losing the bristling demeanor and falling back into his more droopy state. he choked, not wanting to sign anymore, but unable to get the words out without absolutely botching them. "clover's blaming me," he said weakly, "like i fucking wanted my best friend to die -- like i didn't want to find her, like i didn't try." 

towhee and finley, less heated than clover and certainly older and (arguably) more mature, would probably see the tell-tail signs of a week with hardly a scrap of food or sleep. tegan looked pretty rocked, definitely exhausted. he'd spent all his time patrolling the river looking for her, and he didn't have much time to do anything else. he drooped again, nose falling to stare at the snowy ground, ears still flat against his skull. this fucking sucked.

Fin was grateful for Towhee's help in separating the pair. Were tensions less high and matters less dire, she might've taken a moment to be surprised at the fact that Clover backed down while Tegan continued to bristle. She watched him intently, feeling her heart shatter with each word he signed. For once, she wished that she hadn't picked up ptero quite as well as she had. Otherwise, she might've been able to convince herself that she was misunderstanding. 

Bat was dead. God...

Her anger faded as she stepped around Towhee and went to her son. "Tegan, it's not your fault," she murmered as she reached to nuzzle his cheek. She sat then and scooted near to him to offer him a place to land if he wanted to huddle against his mom for comfort. She was quiet for a few moments as she swallowed her own emotion down. Eventually though, she looked over at Towhee. -If he didn't find her, she could be out there somewhere still- she signed, attempting to be subtle so her son wouldn't be too jostled. -We can send others to search?-

Even as Fin suggested it, she knew how pointless it likely was. Her son was as good a scout as any. If he hadn't found her, then...

The venom in Tegan's voice was jarring—he had never talked to her like that. Anger swelled within her breast, and she glanced away abruptly as she felt hot tears in her eyes; she wouldn't forget this anytime soon. If it hadn't been for Finley, she would have given him hell.   

 Clover scowled when she was indicted—she hadn't blamed him for Bat's death. She had only accused him of giving in too quickly. "I didn't blame you for her death," Clover retorted, her voice firm as she blinked away her tears, "You know I never said that. I blamed you for giving up so quickly." She sighed, knowing that her explanation didn't matter; Clover wanted nothing more to do with him and his pathetic wallowing. 

She stepped away from the group, feeling her anger surge again. "I'm going to go and actually do something about this. I'm sorry for your loss, I am. But, your blubbering is doing nothing to help Bat. She could still be out there," she snapped, glaring pointedly at her brother. "If you need me, I'll be at the river west of the plateau. The help would be appreciated." Clover turned away from the group and ran away; she'd be at the isle if they needed her.

She watched Tegan like a hawk as he painted the picture she had already begun to piece together prior to Clover's row. Towhee took a deep, shuddering breath as Tegan slumped. She wanted to comfort him, though Finley beat her to the punch. That left the Beta's attention to flick sideways as Clover left in a huff. Naturally, Towhee didn't catch any of her parting words. But it was probably for the best that she'd left.

When she turned back, Finley signed some inquiries at her. Before answering, she looked at the dejected yearling. Towhee did not believe for one second that Tegan had left any stone unturned, so to speak. It would be a waste of time to send out a search party. But what if it would make him feel better? The mercenary tried to weigh the matter a moment before answering.

-Tegan,- she began, signing slowly, -I know you would've done everything to find her. If you didn't, then she can't be found. The fact of the matter is that if you fall through ice, you can get swept underneath it and drown.- Towhee winced slightly as she signed this. -I'm sorry for your loss. I know how close you were...-

Finley was actually rather grateful when Clover took off. She added a few more barbed comments before she did so, which drove another warning growl out from Fin's chest. But she stopped when her daughter disappeared, and she turned her attention back to Tegan and to Towhee.

Towhee switched to signing and Fin watched closely. She felt a surge of protective anger at the cold truth she was imparting, but was instantly taken back to a time when this had happened before. Only it was Peregrine telling Eljay that Peter was dead and he had to stop acting like he wasn't. She had yelled at him, and he had left in tears. And that was it. Peregrine had died not long after.

"C'mon, let's get you to Raven," Fin murmured, nudging Tegan to his feet and herding him away from Towhee. She was pretty sure he looked like a wreck more due to the emotional trauma than any physical, but she wasn't leaving anything to chance. Besides which, there was nothing else she could do to save him from this, and she simply wasn't capable of doing nothing for her children.